A woman is older than a man: how to build relationships

There lives a woman in the world. She is already over 40, she divorced her husband, the children have grown up and left the nest - they now have their own personal lives. It seems like it’s time to start knitting mittens, putting away the apricot jam for the winter and slowly getting ready to welcome a comfortable old age.

But suddenly he appears on the horizon: a young, passionate and unbridled guy in love affairs, and also handsome!

Mutual interest, flared up feelings - a story from a romantic film. He carries her in his arms like a princess, does not notice her age, facial wrinkles and a couple of extra pounds on her sides... Everything is perfect! But time passes and one fine morning young Apollo leaves his aging girlfriend.

Why does this happen, and how can you make sure that a young man never wants to leave his beloved? Read more about this.

What pushes a woman into a relationship with a younger man? Do you want to feel again how wings grow behind your back and the earth disappears from under your feet? Attempts to jump into the last carriage and stop the passing of youth? Nostalgia for your first cloudless love?

Everyone has their own reasons. And despite social stereotypes, a romantic union where a woman is older than a man is not doomed to failure, but often has its advantages!

A woman begins to take care of herself

A young lover who wants to stun, seduce and sweep off his feet is the perfect motivation to change his style! Bright dresses instead of gray jeans, loose hair instead of a slicked ponytail, red lipstick and winged eyes! Cosmetologists, massage therapists, jogging in the morning—whatever passion and desire to please women pushes them to do.

And the man is happy! Next to a blooming woman, you only want to strive forward, move mountains, achieve goals, conquer new and new peaks for her sake.

It's easier for a man to realize himself

If a woman is older and has extensive experience in arranging life, relationships and the social sphere, it is not a sin for her to show herself in a leadership role. You can give a man advice or a hint, but just don’t do it in the tone of a formidable boss!

An adult woman is able to help a young partner even in career endeavors, unlike an inexperienced young beauty. But this should be done carefully, without applying strong pressure.

Vibrant sex

It's not about acrobatic tricks or lack of inhibitions, but about understanding desires! An experienced woman will say what she wants without embarrassment, biting her lips and lowering her eyes. Maybe sex in the car? Or a blowjob in a restaurant toilet? Or several orgasms in a row? She is no longer shy, but acts! And this initiative turns men on more than the face of a “Barbie doll” - and it doesn’t matter whether the age difference is a year, 6 years or 26!

False stereotypes

Society has formed opinions about a couple of different ages, in which the woman is older. They can be easily refuted.

“A young man will eventually get tired of his old woman and leave for a young beauty.” In fact, if a couple breaks up, it is not dictated by the age difference. Do not forget that peers also disagree for many reasons.
“It is a woman’s prerogative to have a young man.” In fact, it is young guys who are the first to take the initiative and try to woo an older woman. Even in kindergarten, boys fall in love with teachers, at school with teachers, at university with teachers. And if a guy grew up with a domineering mother, then he especially needs a mature woman.
“This relationship has no future, it is fleeting.” This opinion is wrong, because on average they live together for at least 13 years. And some of these couples are together until the end.

They know how to present their partner with what they have

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If you see a beautiful young lady in a beautiful dress, miniskirt or T-shirt and shorts, most likely she got this beauty just like that, along with “lucky” genes. On the contrary, the beauty of a mature woman is a sign that this woman loves herself and knows how to work with herself. After 30 years, female beauty is a very definite skill, the mastery of which characterizes a woman positively!

Advantages and disadvantages of such relationships

Today you can increasingly hear the phrase “a girl older than me.” In modern society, people are much more relaxed about couples in which the man is 5 or even 20 years younger than his partner. Now people no longer view such a union with such censure as before.

Let's look at the benefits of such a relationship.

A woman who has a much younger man next to her has an incentive to always look great. She begins to take care of herself, goes to the gym, uses high-quality cosmetics, and sometimes turns to plastic surgery. In such situations, she often manages to look no worse than her partner’s peers.
An adult and wise woman is able to adjust her man to herself. A young, inexperienced guy who has not known life easily agrees to her demands.
Full sex life. As you know, people the same age as mature women no longer feel the need for regular sex, while representatives of the female half of humanity experience an increased need.

Now let's look at the disadvantages.

Judgment of others. It seems that all people have long come to terms with the possibility of such couples creating a family, however, deep down they will still feel discomfort when they see a man walking next to a woman who is 10 years older than him. No one will deliberately condemn out loud or express their opinion. However, it is possible that a colleague may become jealous of an employee who has a young lover. The young guy’s friends may also be jealous that he now has an adult patroness. It is also possible that people will discuss how a young man left his neighbor for a young girl. There may also be individuals who decide to tell you straight to your face that you don’t get along with your partner. You look like an aunt and nephew, or at best, like an older sister. Sometimes such conversations make you think and cause a feeling of discomfort and embarrassment. A couple may begin to hide their relationship and live in constant fear of being judged. However, you should not listen to other people’s opinions, you need to have your own head on your shoulders, behave as your heart and mind tell you. If you really love, what difference does it make how old you are?
A woman who connects her life with a man who is a year or more younger than her risks that she will begin to feel jealous of young girls or the man’s peers if the age difference is significant. In such a situation, it is better to be that young lady next to an older man. There is no need to constantly tear your heart out. You must understand that if a man is nearby, it means he chose you, which means he is not interested in other, young, sometimes brainless girls. Perhaps it was your maturity and wisdom that attracted him. If you are sure that a man is only with you for money, then there may be grounds for jealousy.
A guy may begin to blame his woman for her inability to bear him a child. This could be either an impossibility due to health reasons or the presence of children with his partner. In such a situation, it is important for a woman to understand what is more valuable to her. If she really loves and is able to give birth, then she should take this step. And if for some reason you cannot become a mother, you can always turn to a surrogate mother.
Money question. If a woman is 7 years older or more, can have financial independence, has already established herself as an individual, while her chosen one is just starting his career, difficulties in relationships may begin.

My husband is 1 year younger than me. I used to think that for a happy relationship it is necessary that the man be at least three years older than the woman. And now I know for sure that it’s not a matter of age, but what kind of person is next to you, how mature and responsible he is. And the most important thing is what feelings you have for each other.

This is a valuable experience

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One of the most fun parts of any relationship is getting to know each other and getting used to “teamwork.” With a woman at an age when you yourself are young, it is more exciting than with someone your same age: it is as if two different worlds, two generations in your person are trying to understand each other while you stay together, and this is a useful experience in destroying stereotypes and understanding the differences between people.

Adviсe

If people love each other, they should not be ashamed of their feelings, despite the large age difference

Don't pay attention to public opinion. There is no need to worry about whether it is normal for the man you love to be younger than his woman. Don’t think about how your loved ones and relatives will react. The main thing is that you love and you are loved too.
There is no need to be jealous of your young man. Jealousy is a feeling that gives rise to self-doubt. Realize that it was you who became his choice, increase your self-esteem.
Such relationships are beneficial to both parties, because the woman has richer life experience, and the man has a greater supply of vital energy. By combining their efforts, they can achieve a lot in life.
A woman should not treat her husband like a child, showing excessive care and depriving a man of his independence. The exception is cases with mama's boys.
Leave the pangs of conscience behind. Don't do anything terrible.
Your current relationship can give you something that you did not find in previous meetings with peers.
Don’t be afraid to make joint plans for the future and dream about children.
Build a serious relationship if you are completely confident in the sincerity of your partner’s feelings. You should turn to statistics and find out that about 53% of unions in which a guy and a girl are the same age break up after just three years. While couples in which the woman is older do not break up for at least 12 years.

My father married for the second time to a woman who is 8 years older than him. Their marriage can be called happy. Their union has existed for 23 years.

Now you know, if a girl is older than a guy, this does not mean that such a relationship can be given up and that it has no future. Quite the opposite. In addition, we should not forget about the category of men who are looking for women older than them, looking for those who resemble their mother. Such unions are especially strong.

You can talk to them

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You can chat with young girls about this and that, but you can only talk with a woman who has seen a lot in her life. Listening to a young girl chatter about her interests and impressions may well be interesting, but a conversation with a mature lady turns out to be deeper and more intellectual - due to her life experience.

Children from previous marriages

If the wife in the family is older than the husband, then she most likely already has experience in building marital relationships. Most likely, she already has children. Of course, this situation is quite common. However, such a child, without even suspecting it, is a kind of catalyst for marital relations. And if there are hidden problems in the newlyweds’ relationship, then children from their first marriages will certainly discover and aggravate them. Often, the presence of a child separates two people who with all their hearts want to be together, but are not able to overcome the difficulties that arise together.

You still have to be the head

In order to find any opportunities and ways to please a girl who is older than you, a man needs to show his potential lover that he is ready to be the main one in the relationship. To do this, it is important to erase age differences, that is, to be an adult, even if a different number is indicated in the passport.

A man’s maturity is determined by his ability to control emotions and feelings, a reasonable reaction to any circumstances, competent speech and understanding of his future. Psychologists show by example what it means for a man to be an adult, namely:

the ability to control emotions, emotional impulses, feelings that no situation can make a guy angry;
the ability to accept defeats and life’s troubles with dignity, without complaining about fate or failure;
refusal to gossip and discuss acquaintances, former partners, in order to show your respect for yourself and other people;
the ability to always be polite and gallant, since decent behavior is a sign of a morally mature person.

We must remember that age is not a barrier in a relationship, but rather a plus. A man can conquer a girl with his energy, carefreeness and ease, romance, positive attitude and inspiration. If he manages to infect his potential soul mate with enthusiasm and energy, this will make the girl emotionally dependent on this guy.

Do you meet older girls?

Not really

Maternal instinct

This point also explains the appearance of marriages with a difference of 10 or more years. In scientific terms, such a nuance is called hypertrophied maternal instinct. The woman seems to be an adult and independent, but could not realize herself as a mother; if there were children, then they are already adults and no longer need her care. As a result, the young man who enters into a relationship with her takes on the role of a child who will be taken care of.

Such a marriage is considered complementary. Relationships develop according to the “mother and child” scenario. In simple terms, a woman performs the functions of a parent over her young man.

The reason for the emergence of such a union lies in the personality of each partner. In most cases, such a union is created by people who are dependent on relationships and have unmet needs associated with parental love.

They want to be your date

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Maybe this is due to the greater desire to start a family in older age, but the fact remains that older women want your couple to be a real team. This trait is ideal for those looking for a long-term relationship. Young girls, unfortunately, are more focused on themselves and their feelings in relationships.

Be yourself

Regardless of his desires to conquer a woman, a guy needs not to lose himself in pursuit of her ideals and work on self-improvement. Psychologists strongly recommend not to pretend to be a guy who he really is not, otherwise sooner or later the woman will be disappointed. If a guy has hobbies and interests that seem ridiculous at first glance, you can tell her about it, explaining how much it means to him.

Important! At the beginning of communication, you need to show her all your strengths and positive qualities, forming a good, but honestly deserved impression of yourself.

intimate side

It is known that sexual relations play an important role in any marriage, including those of different ages. What does psychology say about this side of the issue? A woman 10 years older than a man, with a fiery temperament, needs the attention of her partner. Her desire to have an active sex life is not always able to be satisfied by her peers. That is why, most often on a subconscious level, such a woman begins to search for a young partner. Moreover, during intimate meetings she is not at all a passive participant. Most often, such ladies act as an equal partner or even a leader.

They don't play riddles with you

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Young girls often tend to expect men to guess their slightest desires and literally read their thoughts. It’s as if men have a microchip built into their brains from birth, responsible for ideal relationships! Older women are not like that: they know what they want, know how to voice it in time, and tend to build relationships based on the principle of reciprocity.