4 ways to develop respect for a man and non-obvious reasons why you should do it

Respect for a man is the foundation of a happy relationship. Having met “the one,” women see only advantages in a guy: intelligence, sense of humor, readiness to help at any moment. But after six months, the rose-colored glasses disappear. It turns out that the chosen one smokes in the car, goes on a solo hike every weekend, and prefers to watch TV series instead of walking the dog. Respect disappears, along with love, passion and harmony. What does respect mean in a relationship, why and why to respect a man, and what happens if you don’t? Let's figure it out together.

What does it mean to respect a man?

Girls! Let's do a little experiment. Write in the comments: do you think that respecting your partner is important? Now answer honestly: do you really respect your chosen one?

Often women understand how important respect is in a couple, but cannot show this feeling to their partner. Respect refers to a respectful attitude based on the recognition of merit. Agree, everyone has advantages. But in long-term relationships, people sometimes stop seeing each other's strengths and focus on their weaknesses.

Reasons for losing respect for a man from a psychological point of view:

The attitude “respect must be earned.” Forces your partner to constantly work hard for the sake of your favorable smile. Of course, even an ideal man cannot withstand such a rhythm, gradually losing respect in women's eyes.
Lack of an example of a strong man in childhood. Growing up without a father (or with a “problematic” father), girls do not understand the role of a guy in a relationship. They have an example of a strong woman - a mother who solves any problems on her own. In such a scheme, a man seems an unnecessary element.
The influence of modern culture. Many films and TV series also do not contribute to the formation of deep respect for the male sex. Guys are often shown as weak, lazy characters who live at the expense of their family.

In addition, many girls have their own list of a man’s responsibilities. If a partner does not fulfill them, he quickly loses his Prince status.

Components of respect for a man

1. Respect for father

This is a must. No matter who your father is, if you don't respect him, you need to wonder why. Even if these were terrible situations, it is worth remembering that respect does not mean that you recognize his actions as right and good. Respect does not mean “justify”.

Be grateful for the path, the experience, the lessons it taught you.

Self respect

Respecting yourself means accepting your mistakes and weaknesses, and stopping focusing on the negative. It's hard to respect others if you despise yourself. We need to share what we ourselves have in abundance.

Respect for all men

Is it possible to respect just one man? No. Because behind every representative of the stronger sex there is a whole “army” of men supporting him. Expand your vision.

Why is it important to respect a man?

What happens when a girl stops respecting her boyfriend? From a girl's point of view:

She notices more and more flaws.
Irritation grows: “he doesn’t help around the house,” “he leaves dirty dishes,” “he chose a stupid gift.”
Libido decreases: a dissatisfied woman is not able to relax and truly want a man.
The quality of sex deteriorates: a feeling of discord in the family is created.
Mutual grievances accumulate, claims mount, quarrels break out for any reason.
The female position changes from “this is the perfect guy!” to “why am I wasting my time with a loser?” Although the person objectively remained exactly the same as on the first dates!

How does a man feel at this time?

Every day he sees less joy in the eyes of his beloved, more pent-up discontent.
It seems to him that his partner has become less attractive. This is explained by hormones: a satisfied woman “exudes” oxytocin, the hormone of love, and a dissatisfied woman “smells” of cortisol, the stress hormone. In other words, there are no more pheromones, the “chemistry” disappears.
The house from a “safe haven” turns into a place of military action, where he hears: “I should do this, I should do that,” “I did it badly,” “How long can I wait,” “But Vika has a husband.”
As a result, the relationship collapses. Everyone believes that the other is to blame. In fact, the reason lies in the lack of respect.

Girls, tell me, have you come across similar examples in life?

Feel attractive

Nowadays there are many opportunities to improve your appearance, but the work must start from within. No procedure will give you self-confidence or teach you to truly love yourself. First, recognize your characteristics, try to present them as your strengths. And only if, due to some features of your appearance, your self-esteem really suffers, turn to radical measures to correct it.

Now you have a clear action plan. If it’s difficult to understand everything at once, make a list of actions for yourself that will help you love yourself. Distribute them and strictly follow each point. After a short time, you will feel how much your attitude towards yourself has changed. Your relationships with your partner or colleagues will also change for the better if you just take a few steps in the right direction.

Found a violation? Report content

How to learn to respect a man?

Do you want to save your relationship? You need to learn to respect your partner. Thus, you respect your own choice, yourself. How to do it?

Accept a person as he is. This doesn't mean you have to put up with an alcoholic or abuser! If a guy is rude and communicates poorly with you, you are always free to break off any connection. But there is no need to remake him, to believe that under the influence of your love he will change. If you want to correct your partner's behavior, just talk to him. I often touch on the topic of frankness in articles from the “Ideal Love Relationships” section.
Trust your partner's decisions. It can be difficult for girls to relax and let a man “steer.” However, this is the only way to awaken a sense of responsibility for the family in a guy. I discuss the advantages of the classic distribution of roles in a couple in the publication “As I said, so it will be!”: who should be the head of the family in modern relationships.”
See the virtues of your loved one. Remember how wonderful the man was to you when you met! You appreciated his romanticism or pragmatism, business acumen or deep dreaminess. He has not changed - all these qualities live in him. Remember this, and then you will remain in love for many years.
Do not criticize your partner in front of strangers. It’s better not to criticize at all. You can express your concerns, disapproval or request, but in a gentle manner. For example, using the “Compliment + program + compliment” technique. You will find its detailed description on the official website of Pavel Rakov. It is generally prohibited to criticize a man in front of strangers.

Girls, remember: strong relationships are built on respect. But it is equally important to be able to defend personal boundaries, continue to grow and develop as a person, and build constructive dialogues with your partner. You can learn all this at the free webinar “House of Harmonious Relationships.”

What else do you think you need to know and be able to do in order to become happy in a relationship?

Adviсe

Nobody is perfect. There is no need to try to change a person. Everyone has his own path. Better take care of your emotional state;
admit that you are not always right. Then you will be able to make decisions and opinions of a man without hysteria;
By criticizing, we hide the psychological discomfort inside. But he's not going anywhere. Continuing to judge is not the answer;
Write down the positive qualities of a man that you admire. Do not forget about them in difficult times;
remember what you are grateful for. And is the criticism worth it?
give a man a chance to earn respect: to prove himself, to prove his opinion, to defend his point of view.

Team Growth Phase, Growth Phase

Where does self-esteem come from?

What does it mean to value yourself? There are misconceptions about what actions you need to do to be appreciated. Some people think that if you show others with your whole appearance how much you love yourself, or say phrases in front of the mirror like: “I am a goddess,” “I am cool, and everyone appreciates me,” this will somehow improve their self-esteem.

Others are sure that you need to strive by any means to receive confirmation of your worth from the man who is nearby. They begin to demand attention, compliments and gifts from him, believing that they thereby increase their importance in his eyes. In my opinion, such actions create the illusion of value. Let's figure out where self-esteem comes from? Of course, from childhood.

A child’s normal self-esteem is formed if the parents built a correct and comfortable relationship with him, in which important truths were conveyed to the child verbally and non-verbally: “You are our child. We see you, we listen to you, you are valuable to us. You are worthy and loved. Are you okay". Based on certain attitudes, the child develops an attitude towards himself.

But most of us heard the exact opposite as children. Why do you think? Because in their childhood, parents also did not hear words of support and did not feel their importance. And if a person does not value and love himself, it means that he does not have the resource to build harmonious relationships with his children.

And what happens? From not knowing how to behave correctly with a child, parents, without even realizing it, killed his self-esteem. When a child felt bad, he experienced negative emotions, perhaps cried - his parents could ignore him. When a child did something “wrong,” he was criticized: “You are behaving incorrectly, look at Sasha/Dasha/Masha! This is how it should be”, “Don’t stand out, be discreet”, “What’s wrong with you? It’s time to grow up and stop doing stupid things.” And now this child has grown up. With low self-esteem, with the awareness that something is wrong with him. He grew up and began to be surprised by the adult reality into which he found himself.

How to boost self-confidence?

How to work on self-esteem and make it normal? It is clear that we cannot change the past, change our parents or erase memories from our memory. But we can change the way we view ourselves by working with our past. In the free online course “Man: Honest Instructions”, as well as in the paid program “The Way of a Woman”, I talk in detail about psychological techniques with which you can change your own attitude towards yourself. Therefore, if you have not taken my free course yet, register.

I am sure you will not regret the time spent and will enjoy viewing information that is useful to you. I hope this article was also useful and informative for you. And if you read it to the end and made honest conclusions about yourself, you are on the right path to your internal transformations and a harmonious life in which there is room for mutual love.

A woman’s descent to two extremes in image and behavior:

Tank woman. This is a special line of behavior, even a race of women who see a child in a man. She got a second job, and she’s pulling heavy string bags from the store, and she didn’t forget her husband’s jacket from the dry cleaner, a three-course dinner plus compote, she tinkered with the children, in the evening she asked her neighbor about the possibility of employment for someone who lies on the sofa in the evenings, scratching the area stomach and answers all questions: “Everything suits me!” And the woman, from the unbearability of existence, eternal fatigue and bewilderment: “Why is he so lacking initiative?” plows even more. It seems to her that the man needs help and inspiration. She is an armadillo, next to whom you feel safe, familiar, and comfortable like a son. Who would want to pamper such a woman, protect her, give her gifts, carry her in her arms, be a strong man, after all?!
Comfortable woman. This is the other extreme of behavior in a relationship - a kind of fifa, requiring nothing and with a motto in life: “So that only you, dear, feel good, and I’ll sit right next to you, just don’t worry...” It’s inappropriate for a comfortable woman to ask a man for help, to declare their needs or disagreements, have interests and hobbies. In general, living the life of an individual. She is in a relationship, which means she needs to adapt, obey, justify, feel sorry for and worry about the man so that he does not injure the nervous system. She is so economical, therefore extremely attractive to immature men (let's be honest - only an infant will allow herself a comfortable one, so as not to invest in a relationship!) You don't have to give her flowers, don't give her a coat, don't ask about her well-being.

In both the first and second cases, women forget about the main thing - a man is a man, but you must always remain a woman. Soft, light, mysterious and... self-oriented!

An interesting woman is mysterious, unpredictable, and there is always a new facet or trait in her that will surprise a man. She is like a nesting doll, exploring which he is amazed at the versatility, diversity and diversity of the inner world. You can watch a video with my original technique “Matryoshka” on my YouTube channel.

Desire for love versus need for love

The desire to be loved is absolutely normal, and it is also quite natural to want recognition, respect and admiration from others. However, the vital need for this can be potentially harmful.

There are certain things we need to not die: we need to eat, drink water, breathe and be safe. But we have no vital need for love.

Yes, love is an important part of many people's lives, but we don't need it to survive. Most often, we feel that we are in dire need of the love of others because we have not learned to love ourselves.

Lifestyle “No one needs me”: why such a thought arises and advice from a psychologist on how to get rid of it. Advice from a psychologist on overcoming the feeling of one’s own uselessness and negative thinking.

Whenever we experience these moments of needing another person's love, we are faced with what some psychologists call a "self-love gap" that we try to fill with the other person's feelings. When we don’t love ourselves enough, we try to compensate for this with the attention of other people towards us, and this helps. But only for a while.

We find someone who seems to care about us, showing us the attention and affection that we lacked in ourselves, but at the same time, deep down there is a nagging fear that this person will sooner or later disappear.

This is where Dr. Glover's Nice Guy Syndrome kicks in and we start doing everything we can to keep that love and attention. You may begin to exhibit certain behaviors that are covertly designed to produce UNVOICED romantic, emotional, or sexual exchanges. For example:

change your schedule to accommodate the person;
buy gifts and pay for things in an attempt to gain favor;
Always put a person's needs and desires above your own.

In extreme cases, a person with codependency may sacrifice their career, life ambitions, and friends.

When we are unable to give ourselves the love we crave, we turn to others to fill that need, and in an attempt to maintain that affection, we sacrifice our own interests for theirs.

And this behavior does not help build a healthy and happy relationship. Even if your sacrifices help keep other people attached to you, in the end you will still feel unhappy. Therefore, it is important to understand how to love yourself and become a confident person.

Selfishness or self-love?

I want you not to confuse two completely different concepts: selfishness and self-love. Selfishness is when a person thinks only about himself and his desires, without paying attention to others. And self-love is when a person initially thinks about himself, and then about others. How it works?

When a woman begins to pay attention to herself, take care of herself and invest her energy in herself, she has something to share with the world - she is in harmony with herself. And by devoting her life to someone else, a woman sacrifices herself and begins to “earn” self-love from this world.

I am categorically convinced that self-love and self-understanding have nothing to do with selfishness. Remember this please.

Signs of self-disrespect

Signs of self-disrespect:

You are afraid to express your opinion, to show your true self. You depend on other people's opinions and constantly adapt to other people, trying to please everyone.
You focus on your shortcomings and losses, and do not know how to accept compliments and praise. You are afraid to talk about your abilities, virtues and victories, because you consider this to be bragging.
You are constantly sacrificing yourself, pleasing others, caring for others.
You are used to looking for the cause of failures in yourself. And if something good happens, then you say that you were just lucky.
You are haunted by a feeling of shame and guilt, you are prone to self-flagellation, self-examination and self-punishment.
You are afraid to show your emotions and constantly suppress them. For you, emotions are a sign of weakness. You are afraid that other people will despise you for this.
You tolerate disrespectful attitudes towards you, do not know how to respond to insults, or defend yourself. It’s easier for you to remain silent, leave, endure.
You find it difficult to make decisions. If you try to do something according to your own heart, you will feel guilty.
You look for approval and support from others, but you constantly associate yourself with those who insult and humiliate you.
You are insecure and focused on negativity.
You constantly apologize and make excuses.
Despite all the suffering, you are not trying to change your life.

Note! A person who does not have self-respect is afraid of mistakes and criticism. Therefore, he prefers to “keep his head down” or does everything to please others.