The nature of sexual attraction: who controls your...

Why does sexual attraction in a couple where passions raged fade away over the years? What to do if your partner has no sexual desire? And if I don’t want sex myself, is that normal? You will find the answer to these and other questions about sexual desire and its signs below.

“System-vector psychology” is a comprehensive training about the human psyche and not only “about that,” but as far as understanding sexuality is concerned, this is the most accurate information today. In system-vector psychology, there are 4 types of sexuality and 4 types of eroticism. Depending on the presence of one or another “vector” in a person’s psyche, his physiological and psychological attractiveness acquires an amazing, unique mosaic; nevertheless, understanding and seeing the desires of another person is not particularly difficult. But first things first.

Human sexuality

In animal nature, everything is balanced: a male is attracted to a female solely for the purpose of reproduction. That is, procreation. Have you visited your favorite one? And that's enough, wait for posterity.

A person has an additional desire. On its basis is built sexuality, which animals do not have. A man's sexual desire is aimed at obtaining the highest pleasure - orgasm. And the birth of children may or may not be a consequence. Our attraction does not go away from contraceptive protection.

It is not difficult to notice that sexual attraction is selective: strong towards one person, none at all towards another. What does this depend on?

What is hypersexuality

Hypersexuality is a condition characterized by increased sexual desire (libido), leading to a high need for sexual satisfaction.
An excessively high level of libido can be a variant of the norm during puberty or for a particular person, a symptom of organic pathology of the central nervous and endocrine system, a symptom of a mental illness or a consequence of psychological problems. Hypersexuality due to various reasons is diagnosed in 3-6% of the general population.

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Secrets of unconscious attraction

We are attracted to each other due to pheromones, the unconscious smells of our body. A natural couple develops when a man and a woman have opposite psychological properties - a strong attraction to each other arises.

For example, an ambitious, enterprising, dexterous man with a skin vector experiences a strong sexual attraction to a woman who has a completely different character. She is the owner of the anal vector - economical and sedate, loves home comfort and handicrafts, and is committed to the values ​​of marriage.

In women, attraction is of a more pragmatic nature. She unconsciously relies primarily on ranking pheromones - how wealthy and successful a man is in society. The one who has a higher rank or has the potential to have a higher rank is the sexiest for her. This is natural, because the woman is responsible for the offspring. Only secondarily do pheromones of attraction play a role for her.

Causes of hypersexuality

Primary or congenital hypersexuality

The causes of primary hypersexuality, not associated with mental disorders, use of psychoactive drugs, endocrine diseases or pathologies of the central nervous system, are still precisely unknown. Despite this, it is reliably known that characteristics of sexual behavior often depend on polymorphism (variations) of genes that determine one or another aspect of personality.

For example, research has revealed interesting facts: people who have unprotected sex have a characteristic set of genes that differs from that of people who prefer to use condoms. A similar relationship was discovered by other scientists who discovered a connection between the number of sexual partners in a person’s lifetime and the polymorphism of the dopamine transporter gene.

Most scientists believe that hypersexuality is determined by genetic characteristics and environmental influences. In this case, society acts as the environment.

Secondary hypersexuality

Hypersexuality as a symptom can be observed in the presence of the following pathologies:

• Manic depression or bipolar disorder
• Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder - Oligophrenia
• Schizophrenia
• Dementia associated with Alzheimer's disease and other diffuse lesions of the central nervous system
• Use of narcotic and psychoactive drugs (used to treat Parkinson's disease)
• Consequences of previous brain surgery (especially on the frontal and temporal lobes)
• Brain and skull injuries
• Tumors of the central nervous system.

A recipe for those looking for a long-term relationship

It is possible to bring back the faded passion, but this requires conscious efforts from the couple. There is no need to rely on fleeting animal attraction. We need to build relationships at a higher, human level.

First of all, it is an emotional, spiritual connection. It is easiest for a woman to set the right tone for its occurrence. By revealing her innermost thoughts and feelings to her partner, she encourages the man to be mutually frank. Deep trust and spiritual intimacy arises. Then it becomes not just an attraction “I want a woman”, the man experiences feelings: “I want exactly this woman - the one with whom I feel so good with all my soul.”

When sexual desire is revealed in a couple with a deep emotional connection, natural differences in character become not an obstacle in a long-term relationship, but cause additional mutual interest in each other.

Pathological hypersexuality

Sexual desire is a complex phenomenon under the control of the central nervous system, gonads, and higher nervous activity (self-awareness). Normally, a person is able to control his sexual behavior. An example is hypersexuality in adolescence. Despite the very high level of sex hormones during puberty, sexual behavior is regulated by social norms, consciousness, and fear of the negative consequences of sexual contacts: condemnation of parents and others, unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases.

Pathological forms of hypersexuality, characteristic of organic diseases of the central nervous system or mental disorders, are characterized by the complete absence of any “framework”. Sex turns into a dominant need, for the sake of which the patient agrees to do anything, neglecting the danger of contracting infectious diseases, sexually transmitted diseases, daily responsibilities, career, family.

Forms of hypersexuality

There is no generally accepted classification of hypersexuality. There are several approaches that consider hypersexuality as a variant of the norm, sexual addiction, obsessive-compulsive disorder or obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, mania. Scientists are unanimous on one thing: physiological and pathological hypersexuality are clearly differentiated.

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Childhood hypersexuality

The development of an increased interest in one's genitals and relations between the sexes in early childhood is often unfortunately called childhood hypersexuality. This is a normal stage of growing up, allowing the child to better understand the structure of his body.

In fact, hypersexuality in children is often a symptom of mental illness or a manifestation of psychological problems. The main difference between a physiologically determined interest in natural openings in the human body and pathological hypersexuality is the fixation of the psyche on sexual relations in the form of conversations (the use of indecent expressions meaning genitals or sexual intercourse) or actions (constant touching of one’s genitals, attempts at self-stimulation, masturbation, obsessive interest in the genitals of others). These symptoms intensify when the child is in a state of mental agitation, upset, scared, or experiences other negative emotions.

Bipolar disorder or manic-depressive psychosis is the main mental disorder responsible for pathological hypersexuality in children. In addition, hypersexuality may be a sign of psychological problems arising from lack of attention on the part of parents and family discord.

Hypersexuality in adolescents

As in young children, hypersexuality in adolescents can be both physiological and pathological. In the first case, increased interest in sexual relations, accompanied by sexual arousal, erotic fantasies, experiences, masturbation, is due to functional changes in the endocrine system characteristic of puberty.

Pathological hypersexuality in adolescents can be caused by mental disorders and pathologies: mental retardation, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder. Less often, psychological problems associated with troubles in the family, friction among peers, complexes, and other social and everyday problems manifest themselves in this way.

Hypersexuality in men

According to theatrical superstition, plays about Don Juan, the embodiment of hypersexuality, never fail.

Speaking about male hypersexuality, it should be noted that a high level of libido in itself is not a sign of pathology. High testosterone levels in individuals can cause increased sexual activity, leading to more sexual intercourse over a period of time. In order to differentiate normality from pathology, a number of criteria were developed based on a qualitative rather than quantitative analysis of sexual life.

1. Constantly recurring episodes of mental fixation on sexual fantasies, sexual desire or behavior, lasting more than 6 months.
2. Sexual fantasies, sexual desire, and the search for a sexual partner take up significant time and constantly interfere with other important goals, activities (work, family) and responsibilities.
3. Constant immersion in sexual fantasies, sexual desire, search for a sexual partner, intensifying with a bad mood, anxiety, depression, irritability or boredom.
4. Sexual fantasies, sexual desire or the search for a sexual partner are provoked by stress.
5. Repeated but unsuccessful attempts to control or reduce the influence of sexual fantasies, sexual desire, or behavior in one's life.
6. Repeated episodes of engaging in sexual activity that involves a risk of physical or emotional harm to self or others.

The listed criteria apply to persons over 18 years of age. Hypersexuality should not be associated with the use of psychoactive and/or narcotic drugs, mania, or a medical problem that explains the presence of the disorder. Hypersexuality must have a pronounced negative impact on the patient’s social, professional, personal and other important areas of activity.

All types of sexual activity are important: heterosexual and homosexual sexual contacts, use of the services of commercial sex workers, masturbation, viewing pornography, virtual sex, phone sex, visiting closed clubs, etc.

Hypersexuality in women

Hypersexuality in women is practically no different from the corresponding disorder in men. It is believed that in females the pathological need for sex is much less common. This is partly proven by statistical studies: the majority of patients with hypersexuality are men.

Satyriasis

Satyriasis is a synonym for pathological hypersexuality in men. The term is used to designate the corresponding disorder within the framework of the International Classification of Diseases, 10th revision (ICD-10) under the code F52.7.

Nymphomania

Nymphomania is a synonym for pathological hypersexuality in women. The term is used to designate the corresponding disorder within the framework of the International Classification of Diseases, 10th revision (ICD-10), also coded F52.7.

Consequences of hypersexuality

Hypersexuality negatively affects all areas of human activity. The disorder causes the greatest damage to personal relationships, if any, or prevents the emergence of new ones. Low self-esteem, constant feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety are the other side of the problem. At the very least, this causes inconvenience for the patient suffering from hypersexuality. At most, hypersexuality can completely destroy a person’s life.

The professional sphere also suffers: instead of working and building a career, the patient spends most of his working time satisfying sexual needs, watching pornography, while looking for a new sexual partner at the workplace.

Pathology or normal

Sometimes the attraction is too strong. Typically, people suffering from this indulge in self-gratification or have a promiscuous sex life. There comes a moment when the patient ceases to receive satisfaction even with orgasm.

Increased sexual excitability is considered normal for teenagers. If excessive lust does not go away within several years, a doctor’s consultation is required, since the issue may be a hormonal imbalance or even improper functioning of the brain. Only a specialist will identify the cause and select the appropriate therapy.