121 Relationship Questions to Spark Good Conversation with Your Partner


There are many stages when it comes to relationships. You start out as acquaintances, become friends, date, move in and get married.

But according to Barton Goldsmith:

“It's better to date longer and watch someone want to grow than to wish and hope or try to force someone to make the changes you want.”

However, we cannot change the fact that some people are disappointed in those with whom they build relationships. What is the reason for this?

They didn't ask enough questions about the relationship.

So, if you are currently in a relationship, I suggest you ask your partner because it can make a huge difference in your relationship with each other.

Here are 121 relationship questions you can use to get to know your loved one:

Fun Relationship Questions for Couples

If you had one day left to live, what would you do?

Where would you most like to go on holiday?

What would you do if you won $10,000?

What do you like most about me?

What would you like to change about me?

Who did you kiss first in your life?

How would you feel if I made more money than you?

Would you like to stay home with the kids while I work?

What's the craziest dream you've had?

If you could trade lives with anyone, who would it be?

Priorities.

  1. What will you choose: spend time with your loved one after work or work longer for the extra time off that will fall on your couple’s working day?
  2. Where will you go after work, feeling tired - to your friends or to your partner to resolve the conflict that occurred in the morning?
  3. Should you relax at home together or go to some place together? How specifically would you like to spend your time?
  4. Confession in pre-prepared, personally written poems or in simple words composed on the fly?
  5. How important are gifts to you as a way of showing feelings? If a person doesn’t give gifts at all, does that mean that he doesn’t love?
  6. Would you consider a person more in love if he complimented you often or tried to do more chores around the house?
  7. Is it better to live with a person you love or who loves you?
  8. If problems of equal magnitude arise simultaneously in your parents and your couple, who will you go to first?
  9. Is it important to love yourself or your man/woman more?
  10. If your child and your loved one get sick at the same time, and the first one has a mild cold, and the second one has a severe cold, who will you care for more?

Deep Relationship Questions to Ask Your Lover

If you could choose anyone in the world, who would you like to invite to dinner?

Would you like to be famous? In what type of activity?

Do you ever rehearse what you're going to say before you call?

What would be your ideal day?

When was the last time you sang to yourself? Anyone else?

What would you choose? Live to 90 and retain the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life?

Do you have a secret feeling about when you will die?

Name three things you and your partner (that is, me) have in common.

What are you most grateful for in your life?

Questions for two to better understand their future together

If you don't have the ability to travel through time, then you don't know what the future holds for you. But you can always ask and find out. Don't know where to start? These 20 question prompts will help you two learn more about your future as a married couple.

  1. Should relationships change after marriage or not?
  2. How do you see your future together as a couple?
  3. Could you ever adopt a child?
  4. What principle of raising children do you adhere to?
  5. How do you feel about keeping pets?
  6. In the modern world, is it better to have a grand or modest wedding?
  7. After marriage, should spouses combine their finances or keep separate budgets?
  8. After the birth of a child, who should stay with him on maternity leave? Would you ever agree to have a man stay on maternity leave?
  9. What are you willing to do to keep your relationship as romantic in 20 years?
  10. Should spouses have one bedroom between them or should each have their own?
  11. Would you rather have an apartment in the city or a country house?
  12. What abilities would you develop in your children?
  13. If you had children, would you prefer to send them to public or private school?
  14. What are your goals for the future in your family relationship?
  15. What kind of honeymoon are you dreaming of?
  16. What do you think an ideal family life should be like?
  17. Would you ever agree to live together for a year on a paradise desert island?
  18. How many children would you like to have in your marriage?
  19. What do you hope to improve in the coming year?
  20. Do you think kids need a strict school schedule and extracurricular activities, or should they just be kids?

Here's Another Set of Questions About Deep Relationships

If you could change anything about your upbringing, what would it be?

Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

If you could wake up tomorrow with one quality or ability, what would it be?

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, your future, or anything else, what would you want to know?

Is there something you've been dreaming about for a long time? Why didn't you do this?

What is the greatest achievement in your life?

What do you value most in friendship?

What is your most treasured memory?

What's your worst memory?

If you knew that in a year you would suddenly die, would you change anything about your current lifestyle?

What is friendship to you?

Summarizing

Arthur Aron's 36 questions help you feel close to another person. And if you chose each other consciously or on a subconscious level (which our subconscious does not always report to us), then you can fall deeply in love with your partner. The questionnaire seems to turn serious topics into humorous and light ones. By answering these questions, you mutually open up to each other, slowly and gradually.

Answers help you better know not only the other person, but also yourself. Some questions may be quite unexpected. Values, interests, priorities, desires and character traits help to see a deeper image.

Arthur Aron's questionnaire helps two people get closer in a short period of time. You will only need about one hour for the experiment.

The essence of the questions is to gradually open up to the other person. The questions deepen with each subsequent group, while maintaining personal boundaries. The 36 Question Method is a well-designed system based on hundreds of subjects. The important thing is to be open and seek understanding. Success depends on reciprocity. The Arthur Aron Questionnaire is a great way to speed up the rapprochement process.

Do you want to improve communication with your loved ones, colleagues and acquaintances? Take our course, which contains the best communication techniques: family and relationships, dating and maintaining a conversation, negotiations and disputes and many others!

We also recommend reading:

  • Storytelling
  • What is conformity and how to avoid it
  • 7 levels of communication according to A. B. Dobrovich
  • Marshmallow experiment
  • How metaphors change the way we think about our own experiences.
  • Sue Johnson, The Feeling of Love. A New Scientific Approach to Romantic Relationships"
  • Why ask questions?
  • Seven Questions When Creating a Business Strategy
  • Questions to Find Meaning and Happiness
  • Sternberg's three-part theory of love
  • Stages of team formation according to Tuckman

Keywords:1Communications, 1Relationships

Relationship Questions to Test Your Compatibility

What is the ideal number of calls a couple should exchange in a day?

Would you sacrifice your happiness for the success of a relationship?

What do you think of a romantic getaway?

What is most important for a successful relationship?

What would you call cheating?

If I cheated on you, would you ever forgive me?

Will you ever apologize to me even if it's not your fault?

Are you friends with any of your exes?

How should finances be distributed between a couple?

Do you think celebrating Valentine's Day is trivial?

Loyalty.

  1. Do you think a man who truly loves his mate can commit adultery?
  2. Can you forgive infidelity if it was committed under the influence of alcohol or during a temporary breakup?
  3. If a person cheated, but sincerely repents of it and does everything to make amends and not repeat such mistakes, will you give him a second chance?
  4. Where do you think cheating begins - sex, kissing, flirting, or even just thinking about another person?
  5. Have you ever cheated on your loved one? Why? What stopped/pushed you to do this then?
  6. If cheating was a one-time mistake that could destroy a happy family, is it worth talking about? Or is it better to remain silent without risking the well-being of the couple?
  7. Are dreams about sex with other people just dreams, a subconscious desire for variety, or a direct harbinger of betrayal?
  8. Is it okay to watch pornographic films or masturbate while in a relationship, especially when apart? Or is it offensive?
  9. Are healthy people with normal physical needs able to live together all their lives without cheating on each other?
  10. What will you do if, in a long and happy relationship with me, you suddenly want to sleep with another specific person?

Take the compatibility test

Relationship Questions to Strengthen Your Connection with Each Other

How do you know if you love someone?

How did you know that you love me?

Is romantic love the most important love of all?

Do you think that once you love someone, you will ALWAYS love them? Or do you think that love will fade away over time?

What's the first thing you notice about someone when you fall in love with them?

What scares you about love?

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Was it love at first sight for me?

What do you agree with? Should love always be comfortable, or should love always be new and exciting?

What do you think makes people fall out of love?

What makes you fall out of love?

Do you believe that people can change if they love someone?

Do you think knowing whether it's love or not depends on how long you've known the person?

How long do you think it will be before you know you love someone?

Can you love someone after they cheated?

What is considered cheating for you?

What could be worse: emotional or physical?

If you love someone, can you forgive infidelity/betrayal?

When it comes to cheating, should you forgive and forget/forgive but not forget/or not forgive at all?

Do you believe that love changes you?

36 questions to fall in love (again)

One day, The New York Times published Mandy Len Catron's testimony. She told how she fell in love in a few hours with her faculty colleague, whom she chose as a guinea pig, answering questions with him from the American psychologist Arthur Aron. If Mandy Len Catron and her partner were already in love, neither of them realized it until they got to question 36 and fell silent for four long minutes. Like many discoveries, the “questionnaire that can make you fall in love” is the fruit of a happy accident.

In 1997, Arthur Aron, a professor at Stony Brook University (USA), studied close relationships. He came up with an exercise that makes two strangers get closer. The result exceeded all expectations. One of the “experimental” student couples got married six months later. She became the first in a long line of lovers.

See with new eyes

Arthur Aron realized that he had partially revealed the secret of love: vulnerability and intimate confessions create an environment in which the flame of feelings easily flares up. But with one caveat: the questionnaire causes love only in those who have already chosen each other, consciously or not. This is not surprising, the unconscious of the two recognizes and chooses each other; All that remains is to give the desire a chance to turn into a feeling.

During the experiments, it became clear that the questionnaire can “bring together” not only lovers, but also friends. Since the publication of the article in The New York Times, the evidence has been mounting. Stories of love, friendship, reconciliation... there are so many of them that Mandy Len Catron is preparing a book on this topic, The Love Story Project. Intrigued, we asked psychoanalyst Sophie Cadalen, author of Loving Without Instructions and a specialist in couples' relationships, to share her opinion with us.

“I was puzzled,” she admits, “because I could answer few questions quickly. It was difficult to give short answers. The power of this exercise is probably that it throws us off balance. It makes us hesitate, doubt, choose... But what defines us as a person is questions rather than answers. The questionnaire allows us to capture the moment when we are especially close to our real selves.”

Discover your vulnerability

According to the psychoanalyst, close relationships arise here rather than as a result of the exchange of intimate confessions, but due to the fact that two people expose their weakness. “That’s why,” she continues, “this questionnaire is also effective for already established couples. Over time, we come to the conclusion that we know each other perfectly well, and this kills the feeling of love.

Questions are interesting because they force us to again notice the strange and unfamiliar sides of another, when we are surprised by his answers, his pauses, his emotions. They put us in a situation of uncertainty, and it is this detachment that makes us desirable and awakens desire within ourselves.” Sophie Cadalen, like Mandy Len Catron, explains that this exercise only awakens dormant or unconscious love feelings, but does not create it. Luckily for us, love has not yet been produced in laboratories.

What questions should you not ask?

You shouldn't ask a girl about herself. And also give a girl a strong inappropriate compliment. This shows your uncertainty and at the same time great interest in her. There are many questions that will immediately lower your status in the eyes of a girl.

Examples of such questions:

#1 Am I sexy?

#2 How does it feel to be the most beautiful girl in town?

#3 What rating would you give me on a scale of ten?

You need to ask a girl for some purpose. For example, get to know her better. Understand how she feels about certain things. Or bring the conversation to a specific topic.

Questions to know your partner

© Kaspars Grinvalds

1. What is your partner's least favorite body part?

2. When your partner was a child, what did he/she want to be in the future?

3. Which country would your significant other like to visit?

© Maridav

4. Did your partner have a nickname growing up? If yes, which one? Did he like this nickname?

5. Which of your relatives does your loved one communicate with closest? (If there are none, omit the question.)

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