- April 5, 2019
- Psychology of relationships
- Ksenga
Each person creates problems for himself independently. Some people like to live calmly and measuredly, while others like emotions to be in full swing. The first type of people lives happily in marriage, while the second is constantly looking for adventures, which are often called adultery. How to understand that a partner has found a passion for himself? Read about it below.
Causes
Exchanging promises of fidelity in the registry office, most people sincerely believe that the partner standing next to them will be the only lover for the rest of their lives. But time passes, feelings cool down, and the once beloved person ceases to be so. It is not surprising that people whose feelings have cooled try to find love on the side and decide to cheat. Marital infidelity is a common phenomenon in modern society. What are the most popular reasons for cheating?
- Faded love. After a whirlwind romance, feelings slowly fade away, and if the fire is not maintained, it will die out completely. It is not surprising that after 3-4 years of a happy family life, people find themselves living with an unloved person who is not suitable for them at all.
- One of the partners is developing, while the other is standing still. Often a situation occurs when one of the spouses moves forward, realizes himself in his career and learns something new. And the second individual, which is often a woman on maternity leave, stops in her development. A situation occurs in which a smart husband is bored and uninterested in spending time with his stupid wife.
- Boredom and jealousy. With the arrival of a child in the family, a woman spends a lot of time with her baby. The lady has no time to pay attention to her husband. The man is offended and jealous of his chosen one for the baby. And a person tries to find lost love on the side.
Queen of Hearts (2019)
A new dramatic film about a wife's betrayal of her husband in its most bitter manifestation - with a loved one. Anna is an experienced juvenile lawyer, an ideal wife and loving mother. She is able to reach any difficult teenager, but turns out to be powerless before the charm of her own stepson. Gustav was kicked out of school and the bully was sent to his father - the last chance for a desperate mother. At first, young Gustav competes with his stepmother for his parent's attention. But then he and Anna are overcome by ardent feelings that can burn the lovers and their future.
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Trailer
Original title : Dronningen Actors : Trine Dyrholm, Gustav Lind, Magnus Krepper... Country : Denmark, Sweden Rating : Kinopoisk – 6.5, IMDb – 7.1 Age restrictions : 18+
Signs
A person who cheats on his legal partner changes his behavior. Only a very inattentive person can fail to notice changes in the character and appearance of a loved one. Signs of infidelity in a married couple are:
- A person suddenly begins to monitor his appearance. A woman who just yesterday was a gray mouse signs up for a salon and becomes a fatal beauty. She wears heels, brightly painted lips and wears revealing dresses.
- Lack of attraction to your legal spouse. A person does not want to spend time with the person with whom he shares a roof over his head. And it's not just about the lack of sex. The person prefers to spend the evening with friends or go to a social event rather than sit at home.
- Telephone conversations became secret. If your spouse stops talking on the phone in front of you, or he has set a password on the phone, it means that the person has secrets. And if these are secrets that you have been noticing for several months, then this is hardly a surprise that they want to give you.
- Emergency situations at work. If your spouse begins to stay late at work, but is not paid for these overtime hours, you should think about whether the spouse is really working solely to improve his working skills in the career field.
Vicious Passion (2012)
Successful businessman Robert Miller is a handsome man and the darling of fate. Things are going brilliantly, his partners respect him, and women dote on him, which the hero actively takes advantage of. Richard cheats on his wife with a charming mistress, and on his mistress with his smart wife, deftly maneuvering between them. In business, he also plays a dishonest game, under the guise of a hedge fund, carrying out illegal financial fraud. But one day Miller's fabulous luck ends. The threat of exposure looms over the traitor, and the hero of the thriller begins to make mistake after mistake.
Trailer
Original title : Arbitrage Actors : Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon, Tim Roth... Country : USA, Poland Rating : Kinopoisk – 6.6, IMDb – 6.6 Age restrictions : 16+
Relationships during infidelity
How does a person who is unfaithful to his partner behave? The technique of adultery may be different, but external signs and relationships will always give the person away. A person will spend less time with his legal soul mate. All tenderness will leave the relationship. A person who has acquired a lover will give all his warmth to him. Even a passing hobby will completely capture a person’s feelings. He will become distracted and fussy. The person will be afraid of messing up somewhere, so he will try to talk as little as possible with his roommates and will not start a conversation again. When asked for intimacy, a person who has a lover will answer that he has a headache, has a lot to do at work, and is also tired. The tension and chill will be so noticeable that the spouses will seem like strangers to each other.
What does the word adultery mean?
The word adultery comes from the French “adulter”. Translation – adultery, infidelity, adultery.
The meaning of the word adultery today is somewhat outdated; instead, the expressions “to change”, “to go to the left”, “to have a lover/mistress” are more often used.
The definition of adultery is the commission of intimate intimacy by people who are not legally married. This word can be used to refer to cohabiting relationships without their official registration. Some consider same-sex relationships (not formalized) to be adultery.
Relationships after cheating
How do people behave when they break up with a lover and return to their family? Tenderness for your legal spouse fills your soul. After adultery, the wife becomes affectionate, and the husband becomes very attentive. Flowers appear in the house, delicious food smells all the time, and the floor creaks from cleanliness. Simple everyday joys, which seemed to be completely forgotten, are remembered. A person understands that he made a mistake, that fleeting love brought temporary pleasure, but nothing good came of it. The person will try with all his might to make amends for his guilt, even if the partner does not know about it. Cheating helps a person understand what is truly important to him and what is secondary. True, from time to time, infidelity destroys families, as partners understand that the marriage was a mistake. In this case, the relationship between the spouses deteriorates. And if men can forgive their wife’s betrayal and let her go without a fight, then women for the most part will fight for their beloved husband and will not give him up to their rival, if only for the sake of principle.
Aftermath (2019)
Appointed temporary mayor of post-war Hamburg, British Army Colonel Lewis Morgan occupies part of the home of local architect Stephen Labert. The architect lost his wife in a bombing and was left with an uncontrollable teenage daughter.
When Morgan's beautiful wife Rachel comes to stay in winter, the situation in the house becomes even more tense. Added to the hatred of the winners and losers are the unexpected feelings between Stephen and Rachel. What choice will the heroine of the film make, and how will the decision affect the fate of the characters in the intense drama?
Similar selection: 10 films about forbidden love
Trailer
Original title : The Aftermath Actors : Keira Knightley, Alexander Skarsgård, Jason Clarke... Country : Germany, UK, USA Rating : Kinopoisk – 6.7, IMDb – 6.4 Age restrictions : 18+
Thoughtful and thoughtless action
Some people believe that adultery does not deserve punishment if it was committed while intoxicated. But that's not true. You need to understand that alcohol only liberates a person. A drunk person will never do something that he would not want to do while sober. Yes, actions may be too indecent, but nevertheless they remain a person’s desire, albeit hidden until the right time in the depths of the soul. Therefore, betrayal is never thoughtless. If your partner cheated on you in a club with the first person he met, it means that the person has long wanted new sensations. A person who passionately loves his soulmate, even in a drunken state, will be aware of his actions. Therefore, do not believe the person who crawls to you in tears and says that he did not know what he was doing. It is not true. Sincerity and trust are the cornerstones on which any normal relationship should be built.
From 5 to 7. Time for lovers (2014)
A foreign movie about a wife's unusual infidelity with her husband's consent impressed most viewers, judging by the reviews. Brian is a native New Yorker and aspiring writer. As expected, he is tormented by the torments of creativity, to which are added the torments of love.
The beautiful Frenchwoman Ariel is not against romantic meetings with Brian, but she can only devote two hours a day to the affair, from 5 to 7. It turns out that the chosen one is a married lady and the mother of two children. The fact of betrayal confuses only Brian. Ariel and even her husband take the love triangle for granted. A foreign couple is surprised by the difference between the French and American views on love.
Trailer
Original title : 5 to 7 Actors : Anton Yelchin, Berenice Marlowe, Glenn Close... Country : USA Rating : Kinopoisk – 6.8, IMDb – 7.1 Age restrictions : 16+
The secret becomes clear
There are many stories and anecdotes about adultery. Not surprisingly, most of them are based on real events. And the main conclusion that should be drawn from all these stories is that everything secret becomes clear. You can believe it or not, but no matter how hard you try to hide the fact of betrayal, sooner or later, it will come to the surface. And it is better to tell about your shameful act yourself than to wait for the faithful to learn this information from the lips of well-wishers. Yes, you will hurt your legal spouse, and you will undermine your credibility, but at least you will remain in the eyes of a person as a person who takes responsibility for his actions. Loving people can go through any problems together, but this can be done when frankness and sincerity prevail in the couple. Therefore, you should not collect skeletons in the closet, they tend to fall out of there.
Palm Trees in the Snow (2015)
The action of the romantic family saga with a high rating takes place in parallel in the 50s of the twentieth century and in modern times. Young Clarence arrives in a mountain village for the funeral of her father Jacobo de Rabalta, whom she practically did not know.
Among her father's papers, the daughter finds an intriguing fragment of a letter. The message was sent half a century ago by Jacobo's brother, Kilian, from Africa, where they arrived together on cocoa plantations. My uncle suffers from Alzheimer's disease, so he cannot tell the story of the letter. Clarence travels to the distant island of Fernando Po to discover the secret love story between his uncle and the dark-skinned nurse Basila.
Trailer
Original title : Palmeras en la nieve Actors : Mario Casas, Adriana Ugarte, Macarena Garcia... Country : Spain Rating : Kinopoisk – 7.3, IMDb – 7.4 Age restrictions : 16+
Should I forgive or not?
How do you feel about cheating? There is no person in this world who would treat them positively. But you need to understand that in any problems that arise in a relationship, two people are always to blame. Adultery is the result of the activities of both partners, one of them was the main character, and the other pushed the first to take decisive action. Couples whose relationships have no problems will not break up because a pretty person appears on the horizon of one of the partners. But families in which there is discord can fall apart over any trifle.
Whether to forgive your spouse after cheating is up to you to decide. But in any case, keep in mind that you are to blame for the person exactly as much as the person is to blame for you. If a person began to look for love on the side, it means that she did not find it at home. Therefore, think about whether you can give your legal spouse what he was looking for from his mistress, or whether you should separate, since you are simply not able to make each other happy.
Is there any benefit to fleeting intrigues?
There are certainly advantages to fleeting intrigues, otherwise adultery would not be such a common occurrence. The positive aspects of adultery include:
- More vivid sexual experiences, getting a stronger orgasm, new sensations in bed.
- A taste of adventure and intrigue that dilutes dull everyday life.
- A temporary feeling of self-importance and need.
- Increased self-esteem and level of self-love.
But all this can be achieved with a legal spouse, growing and developing together in marriage. For example, add variety to your sex life, talk about your desires, try to become more relaxed, add games.
By the way, if people are married, no one forbids them to go on romantic dates and arrange pleasant surprises for each other. It is sometimes useful to change the environment and travel together. If you don’t have money for expensive resorts, then you can take a weekend excursion or go out of town with tents.
It’s worth talking not only about your sexual desires, but also about your moral ones. A loving soulmate will definitely understand how important it is for a spouse to be understood, heard, and important.
Adultery will not solve problems with self-esteem, but will only create further illusions. But a professional psychologist will help you instill self-love.
Is it possible to survive betrayal?
Many people confirm the fact that adultery is not a reason to destroy a marriage. Some people can accept a person’s infidelity, but others cannot. Think about whether you are able to forgive the person who offended you? If you understand that your soulmate is the best person you have ever met, then the question should disappear by itself. All people tend to make mistakes. Some people make small mistakes, while others make big mistakes that are difficult or almost impossible to correct. If you decide to forgive a person, then first think about whether the person will commit treason again. After all, once you turn onto a slippery path, you can stay on it forever.
Loft (2013)
Family ties often weigh heavily on men—it’s hard to argue with natural polygamy even after millions of years of evolution. A group of enterprising married friends decide to rent a luxurious loft together for intimate meetings with their mistresses. Friends are taking adultery, so to speak, to an organized, modern level. Soon the nest for infidelity will turn into a crime scene, and the love of pleasure will lead the heroes of a foreign film to drama.
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Trailer
Original title : The Loft Actors : Karl Urban, James Marsden, Wentworth Miller... Country : Belgium, USA Rating : Kinopoisk – 6.8, IMDb – 6.3 Age restrictions : 16+
How to prevent cheating?
Do you want to live happily? Then you need to do everything to prevent adultery from taking place. It is better to prevent a problem than to think about how to correct the consequences later. What should you do to ensure that the fire of love in your relationship burns forever?
- Give your significant other pleasant surprises.
- Go out of the house together more often. Visit museums, social events, go to the movies and theaters.
- Don't focus on your children. Yes, a child is a great happiness, but it is simply necessary to devote time to your spouse.
- Support your other half in any endeavor.
- Find a hobby together. If a couple has common interests, their chances of a happy life together increase greatly.
Infidels (2020)
The film, produced in Italy, looks at adultery from an unusual angle. The comedy is a collection of hilarious stories based on real events and satirizing various aspects of infidelity. This is a search for an affair on the side, unfounded suspicions and inventive revenge. Despite the questionable moral qualities of the characters and methods of solving personal problems, they are all in search of happiness. It's just that everyone understands it differently. This new movie of 2022 received a place on the list of the best films about betrayal and passion thanks to an excellent ensemble of Italian actors.
New on the topic: 26 best melodramas of 2020
Trailer
Original title : Gli infedeli Actors : Riccardo Scamarcio, Valerio Mastandrea, Laura Chiatti... Country : Italy Rating : IMDb – 4.5 Age restrictions : 18+
The Price of Passion (2011)
"One life. One chance. One step” - the slogan of the thriller with elements of melodrama most accurately conveys the expression of the script. A person driven to extremes is capable of much. Hollis Luchetti is an excellent psychoanalyst who found his calling as a police officer. He has hundreds of lives saved thanks to well-constructed dialogue with suicides.
However, today the psychoanalyst himself could use some support. The hero of a foreign film is already broken from a conversation with his wife about her betrayal, so the jumper is not the first on the list of problems. Hollis would gladly trade places with the guy standing on the edge of the roof, because internally he had already taken a fatal step into the abyss.
Trailer
Original title : The Ledge Actors : Charlie Hunnam, Liv Tyler, Patrick Wilson... Country : USA, Germany, Saudi Arabia Rating : Kinopoisk – 7.2, IMDb – 6.5 Age restrictions : 16+
Chloe (2009)
The connection starts with a mobile phone. David is a college professor, so taking a photo with a pretty student might not mean anything. However, Katherine thinks otherwise and begins her own investigation, suspecting her husband of infidelity.
There is only one way to test your spouse for infidelity: by setting up a meeting with the pre-instructed seductress Chloe. Having skillfully set a trap for David, Catherine does not realize how she herself finds herself in a web of lies. Chloe starts her own game, but her target is not the boring professor. An instructive melodrama with meaning about what the husband's suspicions of treason lead to.
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Trailer
Original title : Chloe Actors : Julianne Moore, Liam Neeson, Amanda Seyfried... Country : USA, Canada, France Rating : Kinopoisk – 6.9, IMDb – 6.3 Age restrictions : 18+
Last Night in New York (2009)
For the time being, the young couple Michael and Joanna Reed had a harmonious relationship, not marred by the poison of jealousy. Everything changed when, at a party, Joanna learned about her husband’s joint project with his colleague, the beautiful Laura. Soon, Laura and Michael go on a business trip to Philadelphia, and Joanna remains distraught in New York. As if on purpose, fate sends her a meeting with her ex-boyfriend, the charismatic playwright Alex. Joanna agrees to have dinner with him. Husband and wife simultaneously take a dangerous path leading to betrayal and the collapse of love.
20 very interesting melodramas that are worth watching
Trailer
Original title : Last Night Actors : Keira Knightley, Sam Worthington, Guillaume Canet, Eva Mendes... Country : USA, France Rating : Kinopoisk – 7.3, IMDb – 6.6 Age restrictions : 16+
Opinion polls
These results can be compared with data from American opinion polls. As it turned out, among Americans, infidelity is provoked by: the wife’s pregnancy (the wife begins to feel unfree, and the wife begins to be perceived as a mother), the birth of a child (the mother’s focus on the child), the wife’s weight exceeding the norm (American husbands get angry if the wife’s weight soon after the wedding increases). According to various studies, American men, like Russian ones, characterize their extramarital relationships as more sexual than emotional.
What keeps American husbands from having extramarital affairs are moral and ethical standards, as well as the fear of losing a woman who plays an important role in their lives, or the fear of consequences that will affect their relationship.
