Who is your man - visual or kinesthetic? The way to his heart.

Have you ever met people who resembled robots? They have schematic thinking, everything must be subject to logic. Digital is exactly the kind of person who fits this description. If you tell him something, then every word will be subjected to strict analysis for logic. He is also interested in knowing how things work. Most often, digitals are men. Their brains are more prone to cold analysis than women's. They must decompose the whole world into patterns, formulas, causes and consequences. This is the only way everything should work without deviations.

Digital is a person who was not born this way. It is more like an acquired skill that was formed under the influence of some actions, relationships, situations.

Who are digitals? Some psychologists argue that these are the people who are able to hear and feel something strong and emotional, but instead of showing it to themselves and others, they prefer to hide everything. As a result, their brain switches to a special mode of operation, which translates emotions into patterns.

Features of digital behavior

How do you understand that this is a representative of this type? A discrete person is a person who resembles a programmed machine. He knows a lot and this irritates many of his interlocutors. He will not tolerate the fact that someone said an inaccurate date or the information was presented in a distorted form.

Discrete people are those who will often use the following words in dialogue with you: I know, logically, I believe, carefully, etc.

I would like to note that this man is not just a bore. He is an excellent strategist who will accomplish a difficult task quickly and well. He perfectly remembers information, which he then sorts and analyzes. It cannot be rushed, because the thought process is a complex process that takes time. You will see what digital is if you try to introduce it to a large number of people at one time or load it with several tasks. He won't be able to cope quickly. In order for this type to be an effective worker, you need to give him dosed tasks that he could solve step by step, drawing up a plan. He definitely won’t like it if someone tries to get into his personal space, wants to change his plan of action, and bombards him with new questions.

Recommended reading → Misanthrope: meaning in psychology in simple words

By the way, digital is a psychological type that appeared quite recently. For another 20 years they didn’t even know about him. Psychology divided people into only three personality types: auditory, visual and kinesthetic. People who perceived information through sound, pictures and touch.

How to recognize discrete?

To make sure that there is a discrete (digital) in front of you, you need to listen to what it says and how it does it. Such a person will speak the language of logic, analyze facts, and rely on statistics. His speech, as a rule, is devoid of intonation and emotional coloring. The words “correctly”, “logically”, “therefore”, “firstly”, “one can conclude”, “thus”, “as is known” are often heard.

If you fantasize a little and mentally transport yourself to the future, then your discrete interlocutor can be compared to a smart robot who speaks correct, but unemotional words. Such a person prefers to talk about the functionality and benefits of an object, but not about its appearance.

During a conversation, he is discreet and closes his eyes, avoiding eye contact. Thus, he penetrates deeper into the essence of the dialogue, without being distracted by external factors, including the interlocutor’s facial expressions. His emotional intelligence is not so developed, so the digital pays more attention to the meaning of what is said, rather than the accompanying clues coming from “body language.”

People with this type of perception tend to prefer a strict style that is practical. His love for pragmatism extends to everything in his environment, including his apartment, office, and car. Discrete people are not characterized by strong self-expression and unnecessary attention.

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Characteristics of the psychotype and characteristics of perception

A discrete type of personality that has the ability to evaluate and perceive the world using logic and analytics. These are excellent chess players and lawyers, wonderful scientists, programmers and mathematicians. Thanks to his sharp mind, digital is able to adapt to the interests of his interlocutor in order to explain something to him. For the visual, he will choose bright images, and for the auditory, he will use living language.

Unfortunately, in everyday life, digital can be a difficult interlocutor or lover. He doesn't like to show his emotions. His actions convey pedantry and prudence. He does not listen to the interlocutor, but tries to understand what he wants to get from him. For him, conversations should be strictly to the point.

Characteristics of the psychotype

“Pure” samples in real life are very rare, since they, like many others, receive and process information through various analyzers. We can only say that this type of perception prevails among these people.

Digital people are those who have high analytical abilities. It is believed that they can become manipulative, adapting to others and imitating their behavior.

How do you know that the person next to you is discrete? His speech is often unemotional; he uses the following constructions: “logical”, “let’s look at it”, “therefore”, “from here we will conclude”, “firstly,... secondly”.

He rarely talks about the beauty of anything, but immediately notes the functionality of a thing or its benefits . It is believed that such a person rarely makes eye contact - visual contact distracts him, the look of another person is “extra” information for him.

There is an opinion that discrete people are former kinesthetic learners who, as a result of traumatic situations, have learned to hide their feelings and control emotions and preferences. Whether this is true or not, psychology does not give a definite answer. The second type of people who become digital are often scientists, businessmen, politicians, for whom the process of perception begins to be carried out through the prism of logic.

Communication with discrete

Typically, digital people have a straight posture and a raised head, and their arms are crossed when talking; their posture can be “frozen.” Their movements are not flexible, often abrupt. They prefer to keep physical distance from other people.

Some believe that the discrete personality type is characterized by great difficulties in communication: these people cannot open up to others, so they are often perceived as closed and complex. But, most likely, this is due to the fact that digital people cannot stand communicating with stupid people (of which, in their opinion, the vast majority).

Discrete loves to work with documents, look for facts, confirm them, find cause-and-effect relationships, and formulate conclusions. Likes to explain complex things in simple words. What he values ​​most in an interlocutor is intelligence.

In ordinary life, discretes are calm, pedantic and prefer to communicate on business.

As a rule, digital types of people are highly educated . The question of the cause-and-effect relationships between education, scientific activity and the manifestation of such a personality type as discrete remains open in psychology. Some believe that this feature of perception influences the choice of subsequent profession. Others believe that it is under the influence of specific activities that discretes are obtained.

A conversation with this person should be based on logical connections and well-grounded facts. You should not expect that he will be able to celebrate the beauty of people, things, phenomena and express enthusiasm for anything. Discrete people are usually the type of people who often lack empathy. He experiences great difficulties in perceiving information that is carried out through feelings and emotions.

Discrete occurs among:

  • lawyers;
  • programmers;
  • mathematicians, physicists;
  • economists;
  • biologists;
  • critics (literary, theatrical, etc.);
  • engineers;
  • psychologists;
  • doctors.

All people have a mixed type of perception; it is extremely difficult to meet a 100% digital one. It can clearly manifest itself only in certain life circumstances (for some it can happen, for example, under stress, for others during the learning process, etc.).

So, discretes are people for whom rationality prevails over feelings. They prefer to cognize and perceive the entire world around them using logic. Psychology cannot yet give an exact answer to the question of whether this feature is congenital or acquired.

Discretes are born or create themselves

A digital person is a person who has made himself this way under the influence of life situations. A child cannot be digital, scientists have come to this opinion. Young kinesthetic learners may become discrete in later life, but not be born with already characteristic signs.

The discrete type hides their feelings, but not without reason. Most likely there was an impetus in life that led to these actions. They began to view feelings as weakness, deficiency and useless action. It is easier for them to drown out their feelings by acting rationally. At first it is difficult for them, but like all other habits that change perception, they eventually merge with their character.

How to raise discrete children?

A separate option for communication is education. In childhood, digitals are rare, especially pronounced ones. This psychotype manifests itself during adolescence. Basically, logical thinking is formed under the influence of the environment, although the influence of heredity cannot be denied. The tendency to intellectual activity is inherited, but manifests itself in the process of upbringing and training.

From these positions, it is difficult to judge the reasons causing the appearance of discreteness; either it is the implementation of internal programs, or a consequence of artificially created conditions. In general, there is an opinion in the literature that this type of perception is formed as a result of mental trauma, when a person suppresses his feelings and emotions, escaping into the world of logic.

As a rule, children from disadvantaged families who grew up in emotionally difficult conditions become digitals. It is difficult to judge how true this is, just as it is difficult to think about the “defectiveness” of the named psychotype. Rather, we are talking about an independent phenomenon that objectively arises in the world, in response to new challenges and tasks of reality.

So, digital people need to be educated, and not re-educated, as at one time it was recommended to do with left-handers, and hundreds of thousands of Soviet children were forced to learn to write with their right hand. The world is diverse and there is a place for everyone in it, including a left-handed person, a discrete person or someone else. It’s just that in the educational process, it is necessary to pay attention to the peculiarities of human perception. If he needs proof and logic, give it to him. Don’t force him to cram and take it on faith, but explain it using examples from life that will relate to his personal experience.

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How to communicate digitally

Don't think that such people are closed. They do not like emotionality, but they do not shy away from society. It is quite easy for them to understand the people who stand in front of them. The only thing is, if a person seems stupid to him, he won’t mess with him. Why waste time on nonsense? This is a digital opinion that cannot be changed in any way.

You can understand that digital is in front of you by the following signs:

  • even posture and straight back;
  • head held high;
  • hands clasped or crossed.

If a person walks, then his movements do not seem smooth. These are sharp and quick steps. Many people think that the type is arrogant, but this is because he likes to keep his distance from his interlocutors and does not like it when it is violated.

We recommend reading → Positive and negative sides of perfectionism and pedantry

The discrete psychotype has a sharp mind, which means he most often has a higher education. If you want to make friends with him, then do not start conversations on philosophical topics. Conversations where there are logical chains and connections are only suitable here.

Who is your man - visual or kinesthetic? The way to his heart.

In addition to the well-known gradations in the character and temperament of all people into sanguine people, choleric people, melancholic people and phlegmatic people, in terms of the way people perceive and process information into introverts and extroverts, four main psychotypes can be identified when determining a person’s representative system. In this case, people are divided into kinesthetic, visual, auditory and discrete. It should be noted here that it is extremely rare to come across a “pure” type, more often a mixed one, in which one type predominates.

Based on the opinions of numerous works of modern psychologists, in this article we want to consider the psychotypes of men. Find out which of the four psychological types the man you are interested in belongs to. Based on the data received, you will receive information on how to improve relationships and communication with him, what you can do for him that is pleasant, and what, on the contrary, he may not like about your behavior.

The smallest type is auditory men

(10 percent of the total population)

These are “tape recorder” people. They can remember and reproduce (even in the appropriate key) any story, phrases, or words they hear. Expressions often used in speech: “Listen,...”, “This is unheard of”, “Keep your mouth shut”, “prick up your ears”, “This is said loudly”, “Let’s discuss”, “You can’t hear me”, “This is too much” noisy person”, “tight”? Outwardly, the audio person may seem stubborn and arrogant to the interlocutor, but this impression is deceptive. Audials are often sincere and attentive people, ready to listen and help with advice.

An auditory man has a keen ear for music and prefers good music (usually classics - symphony concerts, opera singing). The sounds of his voice are full of variety: melodic, melodious, intonations change one after another... When he says something to his interlocutor, it is as if he himself is listening with great interest to his voice. For him, sound is not an empty concept, but rather the most important thing in life. When you tell him something interesting, he even tilts his head, bringing his ear closer to your face. It is not at all necessary for him to see you - he first of all tries to guess your mood and desire “by ear”. The auditory listener's gaze is usually directed along the midline of the interlocutor's body. Auditory learners make excellent psychologists, musicians and good lecturers.

If you find similar signs in your man, then you are dealing with an auditory person. It should be noted that auditory animals are rare in nature. There are many more human psychotypes such as visuals and kinesthetics.

One of the few types is discrete men (digitals)

(20 percent of the population)

A very small, but very unique type of people. Discrete men are more focused on the meaning, content, importance and functionality of the information they receive. That is, these are people who perceive information through logical comprehension, using numbers, signs, and logical arguments. Discrete people seem to be divorced from real life experience and natural perception of the world - they think more in the words themselves, and not in what is behind these words. For them, the written word or spoken word is reality. If for kinesthetic, auditory and visual learners words are access to experience, then for discretes all experience consists of words. Their speech often includes phrases: “It’s logical”, “We need to analyze the situation”, “If you think about it. then...", "So, by the method of elimination we find out...", "Where is the logic here?" Discrete people belong to a completely closed, complex type of people. They avoid communication and do not make contact first. These are very vulnerable and touchy people. Most often, these are former kinesthetic learners who, due to life circumstances, have withdrawn into themselves. In a “pure” form, discretes are extremely rare; rather, they are of a mixed type, where another “mixed” type predominates.

Let's talk about visual men

(30 percent of the population)

Visuals are people who “see” the world around them. Distinctive features of this type: a rather high voice (even for men), a keen gaze, their gestures are horizontal, directed away from themselves, the visual gaze is either straightforward - eye-to-eye, or directed upward. Gesticulation is clearly expressed, the person shows with his hands where and what is located. In speech, a visual person often uses phrases: “Show me”, “Face to face”, “Shine some light”, “I see what you mean”, “Look ...”, “The situation looks like ...”, “I see , that...”, “The picture is like this...”, “I acted ugly...”, “Bright events”, “Let’s try to look at the situation...”, “Vague concept”, “It looks like...”, etc. “The interlocutor does not listen to me because he does not look at me,” this is the concept that visual learners are guided by when speaking. It is very important for them to feel their personal space, and if an unfamiliar person intrudes into it, they immediately “close themselves” from him with a pose of crossed arms and legs. A visual man loves with his eyes. It is very important to him how a woman looks, how beautiful her face is and how proportionate her figure is. The visual person’s speech is clear, “on the same tone,” confident, and quite fast. He knows how to formulate his thoughts with correctly chosen words and clearly explain his position. In the family, visual men like to play a dominant role.

If you notice similar signs in your man, it means that your life is connected with the visual.

Who are kinesthetic men?

(40 percent of the population)

Kinesthetics are people who “feel” the world around them. They do not know how to hide their feelings, their eyes often give them away, so their gaze is usually directed downward. A kinesthetic person’s answers to questions are simple and straightforward; they make decisions based on their feelings. Kinesthetics - lovers of saunas, hot baths, massage.

If “visual” images are extremely important for a visual person, he perceives the world around him with his eyes and therefore believes that everything should be orderly and beautiful around him, then a kinesthetic person lives by touch, sensations from touch, pleasure from the convenience around him.

The speech of a kinesthetic person is much slower than that of a visual person. If the latter is able, after a clear and fleeting conversation, to forget about its content in the next minute, then the kinesthetic person remembers well what you talked about. Moreover, he loves to meticulously discuss the topic and all sides of the issue. His voice is pleasant to the ear - soft and velvety. If the same auditory learner tries to “hear” you, then the kinesthetic learner will try to stand closer to you in a conversation, touch your hand, hug you, pat you on the shoulder. The kinesthetic motto in relation to the interlocutor: “He doesn’t listen to me if he doesn’t feel it.” His favorite expressions: “I feel that ...”, “Get the meaning”, “Contact”, “This concerns ...”, “A hackneyed argument”, “Lift a finger”, “Thick-skinned”, “This is connected with ...”, “Spirit captivates”, “This is a warm person...”, “I have a feeling...”, “It’s close to me”, “It doesn’t touch me...”, “A difficult person.” When talking, kinesthetic learners prefer to sit close to the interlocutor, trying every now and then to touch his hand, pat him on the shoulder, stroke his head, hug him...

Kinesthetic men are reliable family men and good friends.

Have you found any familiar signs?
This means your man belongs to the kinesthetic people! The way to a man's heart.
How to deal with a visual:

If you want mutual understanding with a visual person, speak to him in his language: “Imagine how good everything would be if you...”, “Try to look at the situation through my eyes...”, etc.

Always take care of your appearance - this is very important! Try to be well-groomed, fit, take care of yourself. Don't let yourself get loose, always dress nicely.

If you send him to the store, give him a list of what he needs to buy - what he can see with his eyes is much easier for him to perceive than with his ears. Otherwise, he may get confused or forget.

Give him a beautiful photo with your image (especially for a mobile phone this is a good idea), express your feelings on paper and give cute notes. If you buy him things, remember that he only likes things that look good. Color is very important to him. At the same time, he pays less attention to the practicality of the thing and how it feels to the touch.

How to deal with audio:

Audials usually choose women with a charming, beautiful voice. So, if you are with him, then your voice is probably exactly like that. Use this advantage more often when communicating with your man - speak to him melodiously, with a pleasant intonation, exciting, sexy.

Use words and expressions in your speech: “Do you hear?...”, “Let’s talk,” “I’ll tell you...”.

And talk to him, talk! He needs conversations. Share information, stay up to date with news, read more. Tell him about your love, including on the phone.

How to deal with a kinesthetic learner:

The way to your man's heart is through physical touch, hugs, touch, caress. Touch him in passing, he will take it as a sign of attention and will definitely appreciate it. He loves delicious, cozy, comfortable things. Use perfume that smells pleasant to him. Light scented candles. For such a man, quality sex is very important. If you are a goddess in bed with him, he will carry you in his arms.

Learn how to give him a massage and pamper him with it more often.

When talking with him, use his expressions: “Do you feel how much I love you?”, “You are a very close person to me”... And at the same time try to hug him, touch him. Believe me, he will hear and understand you.

When communicating by phone or in a letter, at the end be sure to say or write to him: “I kiss you,” or “I hug you,” “It’s very warm with you.”

How to deal with discrete:

Talk to him in his language and try to rely on logical arguments.
If you also have facts or statistics, so much the better. How to feed him.
... This path, the shortest, has long been familiar to all of us - through the stomach! Take note that in your kitchen skills your man will like it.

Audiala

you can delight with a three-course elegant lunch, but be sure to be accompanied by musical accompaniment of your shared dinner. Conduct a tea ceremony for him at home according to all Chinese customs (this is easy to learn today by attending special tea courses). Pouring aromatic green tea into small bowls, included in the ceremony program, will please your auditory ears in the best possible way.

For a visual man

– always set the table with a “zest”, create a beautiful table setting, decorate dishes with imagination and sophistication.

A dish you created for a kinesthetic man (and also, in this case, for a discrete man)

must be delicious.
It is most important. Decorations and table settings will not make much of an impression on him, no matter how hard you try. In communication, in family life...
Auditory man

does not tolerate family squabbles with his wife screaming. It is much more accurate to influence an auditory learner by changing intonation rather than by continuously raising your voice. Watch the fluctuations of your voice, speak insinuatingly, slightly offended (as if you are about to cry), fascinate with the intonations of your voice if you want to achieve something from him.

To discrete men

You can’t get into your soul, say what you want “head-on”, or accuse someone of something. You can melt their “cold” heart only with warmth, goodwill and... unobtrusiveness.

For visual men

Over time, you get tired of admiring the same face and type of woman. This natural pattern of the visual is easy to “deceive”…by changing the image! Change your wardrobe, hair color, hairstyles, makeup colors... And now you are a “new picture” for the visual delight of your visual.

Male kinesthetic

stable in family life, balanced, loves that everything around him (including his beloved woman) is as always, as he is used to, as comfortable and convenient for him.
Frequent touching, caressing, stroking is extremely important for his worldview. This is exactly what you can do to please your kinesthetic learner. Lessons on seducing and keeping a man near you
With an auditory man

...speak beautifully. If you have a rough voice, you have little chance of winning over an auditory audience. Spend the night with him in intimate conversations over a cup of tea - and he will be conquered by you.

Express your emotions during an intimate relationship with him with all sorts of sounds: moan, praise, whisper in his ear - do anything so that he can hear you! Get “favorite” songs that only the two of you listen to. Every time he hears them by chance, an auditory man will think only about you.

Visual man

seduce beautifully. For a visual person, it is enough to look at the object of future passion to fall in love and lose your head. Always match his ideas of beauty, style and sexuality. The interior in which you seduce your visual man is also important. The colors in it should be perfectly combined with each other, and the furniture should have smooth, streamlined shapes.

Male kinesthetic

loves comfort, therefore his main requirement for the bedroom is its convenience.
He will love a soft and comfortable bed of maximum size, on which he wants to lie down and relax, and not stand in front of it and admire it. Intimate conversations and declarations of love are devoid of any meaning for a kinesthetic learner; what matters to him is how he feels when he touches you, and you - him. The kinesthetic person wants to touch you, hug and kiss you in all available (and inaccessible) places and receive the same from you. Sex in the kinesthetic sense is the best of life’s pleasures, and he is not going to doubt any touches or places for kissing. Direct proof that he needs you (dears, loves you) is in the following example. If your kinesthetic person does everything possible and impossible for you in bed, and then stretches out next to you, smiling blissfully, then you are on the right track. What should I give him?
The best gift for an audiophile man

- CDs with classical music, audio books, all kinds of audio equipment - player, tape recorder, stereo system.

Gift for a kinesthetic learner

(as well as discrete items) - a sweater, a warm jacket (great if you knit it yourself), a cake (preferably your own preparation), a set of candles in a ceramic candlestick or a sconce lamp in “warm” colors.

A great gift for a visual man

- an exquisite unique thing (antique, from objects of art), or, more simply, a camera. Give him beautiful things, cute trinkets that he will see, remembering you every time.

Give disk

gifts related to his work and what is necessary for recording his thoughts, calculations, etc.: organizer, carculator, folder, notebook, equipment. A smart book would be a very good gift. But you need to be careful about his tastes.

***

We believe that there are also cases of a mixed psychotype - an auditory person with a “piece” of kinesthetic, a visual person who is interested in the audio perception of the interlocutor in communication. Why not? After all, choleric people can be inclined toward melancholy, and sanguine people can be a little phlegmatic in character. But we’ll talk about mixing psychotypes and analyzing their behavior another time...

    Rufina Ugryumova-Drat, especially for
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Who do they work most often?

Who is digital? This is a very educated person with a huge amount of knowledge. This was mentioned above. It is clear that he will work with papers and a computer, but not with paintings. Paperwork is great for them. They analyze tasks well and are able to put everything “on the shelves” in the right order.

By the way, it turns out that digital can become an excellent psychologist. This is due to the fact that he knows quite a lot, knows how to understand people and analyze all events.

There are quite a lot of representatives of this type among programmers. It seems like the most suitable profession for such cold and calculating individuals. Unfortunately, the work itself contributes to the degeneration of an ordinary person into a digital person. Anyone who is used to working with diagrams, numbers and accustomed to order ends up looking like a robot.

Among the representatives there are many researchers and scientists. They are unmatched in analytics and scientific research.

What professions are suitable for discrete people?

Based on the characteristics of thinking and worldview, digitals find themselves in disciplines associated with an analytical mindset. Suitable professions include lawyer, attorney, detective, mathematician, physicist, programmer, psychologist, philosopher, analyst, statistics or standardization worker, analyst, mechanic, engineer, economist, sociologist, literary critic.

Considering that pronounced psychotypes are rare, as a rule, people combine several main channels for obtaining information. So, a discrete person can combine an auditory or visual type of perception, which will also be reflected in the choice of profession. But he is unlikely to be a “part-time” kinesthetic person, since he avoids sensuality and emotionality, so he is not often found among massage therapists or dancers.

Child digital

As it turned out above, small children cannot be discrete. This is an acquired psychotype that develops at a conscious age. If it seems to you that your child loves the computer too much and is drawn to programming, then do not rush to conclusions. Perhaps your child is kinesthetic, who in the future may become digital, but you can influence this yourself by having conversations, showing emotions and not forbidding even a boy to cry, hug and express his feelings.

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How to build relationships with discrete people?

If someone manages to come into contact with digital not only in a professional or friendly way, let them prepare for a “flurry” of emotions and a “storm” of tenderness. This psychotype is very poor in sensory manifestations, but can be a faithful companion and reliable partner. Since opposites attract, they are able to converge with representatives of other psychotypes, balancing them.

In a discrete-visual couple, he will take on the role of a “sobering” factor, preventing the other from overspending on beautiful but useless things. He will always find something to “pour” into the ears of an auditory person. Well, a couple with a kinesthetic student generally repeats the eastern “Yin and Yang”, which can harmoniously complement each other. Considering that pure psychotypes are rare, there are even more points of contact between them.

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