Empathy interferes with life

Among people in society there are individuals who are able to immerse themselves in the feelings and problems of another person and experience the whole gamut of their feelings. In psychology, people who have this ability are called “empaths,” and this ability itself is called “empathy.” For some people, empathy greatly interferes with their lives. It is worth understanding what it is and how a person with such an ability can find inner harmony.

Empathy - what is it?

What is “empathy”? The term was introduced into psychology by the American psychologist Edward Titchener. The literal translation of this word means “to feel.” In other words, empathy is the ability to fully embody the feelings and experiences of another person. An empath clearly sees what is happening with the interlocutor at this particular moment emotionally.

Empathy is activated when a person nearby experiences powerful negative emotions: screaming, crying, afraid, sad. An empath deeply feels the other person’s condition and responds to their grief, wanting to understand the situation and help. Most often, he is not interested in positive emotions, since a happy person does not need to be saved, and they cannot be used for personal gain. Empaths often choose professions where they need to subtly sense other people. They become educators, teachers, psychologists.

Sometimes people are mistaken because they think that a synonym for “empathy” is “sympathy.” These two concepts may overlap, but they mainly differ in motivations and reasons. For example, you saw beggars on the street, took pity on them and gave them money. You showed empathy, but at the same time you did not feel the full range of emotions that they experience. You have not tried on yourself everything that happens to them. Empathy is not sympathy, it is the ability developed during life or given at birth to be in someone else’s “skin.” At the same time, an empath may not always have the desire to help. If he sees a homeless person, he will feel the whole nightmare of his life, but will he give him money? It depends only on the individual person. Empathy means understanding a person's condition, but does not imply any actions aimed at improving his well-being. Some people use this ability for their own purposes.

Where does empathy come from? Experts say that mirror neurons are responsible for it - nerve cells with the help of which a person processes information received from the outside world. For example, there is a person nearby who is worried and crying. The auditory and visual systems record this and transmit information to mirror neurons, which activate the same feelings in a person.

Look inside

Empathy should not be confused with sympathy. This feeling is not directed at another, but shared with another. An empath is a channel through which emotions flow. He feels this background all the time, regardless of the circumstances. An artist I know had a hard time handling the marketing aspect of her work because she was bad at making small talk about anything. She saw right through everyone - without masks and ostentatious bravado. She was a kind of “X-ray person” - under her gaze, everything superficial instantly flew away from the interlocutor.

Types of empathy

There are three types of empathy, which differ in the degree of penetration into other people's feelings.

Level 1 – simple . A person sees emotions, notices facial expressions and compares this with what he saw before. Mirror neurons play the main role here.
Level 2 – intermediate . In order to fully understand a person’s well-being and try on his life situation, the empath begins to ask questions. He finds out from the suffering person the causes of the problem, asks if this has happened before, in general, he tries to get as much information as possible regarding the traumatic event. Thanks to this, the empath is able to put himself in the place of his interlocutor.
Level 3 – highest . There are very few empaths of this level, since this presupposes the possession of certain knowledge. A top-level empath knows a person completely, understands what goals drive him, knows everything about his values and life priorities. For this reason, it is very easy for an empath to imagine himself in another person's shoes.

Signs of empathy

Determining whether you are an empath is not that difficult. It is enough to compare the general signs of the presence of ability with your condition. So, what are the signs that indicate you are an empath?

It is difficult for you to communicate with people who are experiencing suffering and pain, because you transfer everything onto yourself.
You change the TV if you hear negative news.
You are concerned about world problems, for example, environmental pollution, water shortages and low living standards in Africa, high crime rates, trafficking in women and other things on a global scale. You are tormented by the fact that you cannot help in any way.
It is difficult for you to understand yourself and understand your own feelings.
You help everyone and say “yes” in response to any request, because you cannot refuse a person, understanding how important it is for him.
You are shy and do not know how to demand your own.
You love nature, feel a deep connection with it, and feel sorry for homeless animals.
You help others at your own expense.
You hold yourself responsible for what happens to the other person and try to help fix the situation.
Love relationships and friendships are taken to heart by you.
Often you become a “cesspool” for people who dump their negative emotions on you.
When reading “heavy” books, you completely go into a parallel world, literally get used to the character and feel all the pain that he is going through.
Due to constant emotional stress, you do not know how to have fun and be happy.

Continue to develop the gift

Empathy is an amazing gift that you have.

But do not forget to look at the reflection that your Divine partner - the spiritual catalyst - can offer and give you. The Universe connects us for a reason!

I hope this approach can help facilitate and integrate the wonderful gift you embody in your empathy. I encourage you to harness your gift for the benefit of all people during these difficult times. You are truly special.

Author Open Translation ND & Gatekeeper

Source

Why does empathy interfere with life?

Psychologists say that empaths often turn to them. At first glance, it seems that empathy is a great opportunity to see through people, a kind of extrasensory perception and foresight in one bottle. However, the ability to feel the pain of others creates a strong emotional burden that is difficult to cope with. Of course, it all depends on the individual. It was already mentioned above that some empaths do not feel compassion for others, but use knowledge about their conditions for their own selfish purposes. Life is easy and simple for such people.

We are now talking about those who are sensitive to the suffering of others. Many empaths consider themselves responsible for other people's lives. They want to help everyone, but it is obvious that this is impossible. Empaths suffer from this impossibility. When this concerns only close people, this is reasonable, but when an empath tries to help everyone, even unfamiliar or completely unknown people, a big problem arises regarding his mental health, since he spends a lot of energy and his own resources. Often empaths forget about their own experiences, becoming completely immersed in other people's problems. Difficulties arise at work if the empath is in a leadership position. He understands how a harsh claim will affect the employee, so he makes concessions, which leads to sad results.

During a conversation, empaths pay great attention to the emotional content of speech. They try to comprehend intonation, gestures and facial expressions, trying to get to the bottom of the truth and understand what the person really meant. This takes time and adds unnecessary worries. Empaths have a hard time watching the news on TV and reading negative stories on the Internet because they take it all in, leaving them feeling exhausted and empty.

Feeling of blocks

Let's first look at the beneficial nature of empathy or having empathic qualities. Because to truly release being and get rid of distortion is to express truth in distortion - you activate distortion because the Soul is trying to break through the area of limitation.

Having empathic tendencies as a spiritual catalyst means that you can feel and harmonize with the feelings of others, especially their density. In practical work, you can practice expanding your field to take your partner inside and then explore specifically what they are feeling.

Then, as a catalyst, you move your attention—the energy—to the places that you feel are blocked. You literally direct the focus of your attention to these places. And it helps guide your partner towards those feelings as well. You can use intuitive questions to find out why the block exists, such as “tell me what the word “useless” means to you? In this alchemical cauldron, the mere use of such a word, which comes intuitively, can be enough to cause a surge, an unwinding, an ejection.

It is as if you are reaching your partner from within by aligning with them and then resonating with the frequency of the alignment. The block unwinds and disappears, this blocked aspect of the Soul remembers itself; then the Soul integrates; miraculous alchemical healing and transformation occurs.

None of this would be possible without empathic qualities. Paradoxically, a really good catalyst also has really good empathic qualities.

How can an empath not burn out?

To maintain mental health, an overly sensitive empath should dull the ability. How to do it?

If you work as a teacher, psychologist, or do any other job related to people's suffering, change your activity.
Find a hobby that brings you true pleasure and distracts you from large-scale problems.
Spend more time on yourself and your feelings.
If you understand that a person wants to “dump” negative emotions on you, internally “close yourself” and change the topic.
Don't be afraid to tell people that you are an empath. Explain to them that you don’t always want to discuss other people’s problems because you feel too strongly about them.
Don’t talk to people you don’t know well, especially don’t listen to them complain about life.
Stop close communication with a person who constantly talks about his problems. Usually such people are energy “vampires”. They don’t want to change anything in their lives, but they love to whine, draining energy from other people. There are two ways out of the situation: either stop communicating with the person completely, or start making emotional exclamations, for example, “Nightmare!”, “Poor thing!”, “How could he!”, while actively gesturing with your hands. Sooner or later, the “vampire” will get tired of this, because he will not get what he wants from you.
Do not delve into other people's problems, listen to your interlocutor with one ear. Try to forget as quickly as possible about what you were told.
If you feel burdened by other people's negative emotions, switch. Turn on a good comedy, watch a funny show. Empaths have a great sense of humor, so a good movie can help relieve stress.
Lead a healthy lifestyle. Remember the proverb “A healthy mind in a healthy body.”

If you use the above techniques, empathy will be dulled, which will allow the person to breathe freely. This does not mean that it will go away completely, it will simply stop functioning in certain situations. Meditation and breathing exercises will also help you relax. It is important to find a “golden mean”: you shouldn’t become callous and heartless, but you shouldn’t let a lot of other people’s problems pass through yourself either.

Delving into themselves

The subconscious habit of blaming oneself for the difficulties and problems of others leads to unproductive self-examination and biased self-accusation. Self-esteem and self-confidence suffer. There are also more serious consequences to excessive self-criticism. For example, leadership specialist and professor at INSEAD international business school Herminia Ibarra argues that an excessive tendency to self-examination and self-criticism keeps a person in the past, preventing him from moving forward.

She does not deny that self-analysis is needed in life. But it is harmful if it becomes a habit or when you try yourself in a new role, in a new field. People get hung up on their shortcomings, convince themselves that “this is not for me,” feel guilty about failures, and this prevents them from achieving success in any business, especially a new one. Professor Ibarra believes that this is a problem for 50% of managers.

What to do: try to be objective. If you are in doubt, try to distance yourself from your feelings and use logical thinking. Write down the situation on a piece of paper, give it a dry assessment: are you really to blame for your failure? Could you have done anything to prevent the unpleasant situation? Even if you understand that the blame for what happened really lies with you, take it calmly. Admit, “Yes, it was my mistake,” and focus on how to correct the consequences and prevent similar problems in the future. The ability to forgive oneself for mistakes is an important area of development for an empath.