Your relationship with your girlfriend seems to be going smoothly until you feel like something is wrong. You don't want to dwell on it or you'll end up damaging the relationship. Moreover, as a man, you never get hung up. But when events begin to develop, there is nothing left to do but pay attention to what is happening around you. And you begin to realize that you are being taken advantage of, especially with money and time.
It seems to you that there is not enough emotional return from your partner, and this makes the relationship empty. At this moment, the only thought that arises is whether it is really worth continuing to date this girl. You might be interested in the article 5 signs that your significant other is lying to you.
Nobody likes to be used. However, both men and women do this, albeit in different ways. Men tend to use women emotionally, while women use men solely for personal gain. You need to learn to recognize some signs to know if she's taking advantage of you, whether it's about money, company, or your cool lifestyle.
As mentioned earlier, one of the main things that indicates this is the lack of emotional return when she does not show love and does not say warm, sincere words. The day goes something like this: As soon as you return from a good day together, she keeps her distance until you offer her something else.
Here are 15 signs that will help you understand that she is using you and decide whether this relationship is still worth pursuing. Also, don’t forget to read the article 10 signs that you are “serious.”
She doesn't introduce you to close friends and family
Just like with guys, if she's not keen on introducing you to close friends or family, she might not be with you for long. She likes to spend time together, but nothing more. If you want a more serious and stable relationship, discuss it with her. And it’s worth considering if she brushes off the conversation. She probably considers you her boyfriend, but not for a long-term relationship.
You are just a fly-by-night. Why would she introduce someone she doesn’t take seriously to her circle? Either she just can't live alone and needs a boyfriend, or she finds you a cool person, but not someone she'd want to spend the rest of her life with. One way or another, you are not taken seriously, and it is up to you whether to continue a relationship that will lead nowhere, or stop and find someone who will truly appreciate you.
She gets upset when you lose some material comforts
Does she decide to go home instead of spending the rest of her time with you? Does she get angry if your car breaks down and the date gets cancelled? And all because she is left without a car? Does it make you feel guilty if your camera breaks and now your entire trip is wasted? If so, then she is taking advantage of you.
She is only dating you because you can offer her something material, not emotional. To some extent, this awakens selfishness in her, because she cannot afford these things herself, and without them she feels empty inside. In this case, you don't need to do anything to make the relationship more fulfilling and exciting. “Only two people can dance tango.” Therefore, if she does not understand this, you need to reconsider the relationship and find someone who will value you, and not what you have to offer.
She only likes to have fun
She knows that you frequent popular entertainment venues, so all she wants from you is to hang out. This is not a coincidence. She never told you that she doesn't want to go out, but when you decide to stay home, she becomes indifferent and irritated. Have you noticed that in this case she practically does not talk to you? Conversely, her mood changes for the better when you spend time outside the home in a variety of ways.
Although it is not recommended to always spend time monotonously, as soon as you feel something is wrong, it is better to slow down slightly. It's also advisable to spice things up from time to time, so it's absolutely normal if you want to have fun more often than sit inside four walls. It is alarming when her desire to go out for a walk is very different from her desire to spend this time alone with you. Try to entertain her if you haven't gone anywhere, and then you will see if she is interested in being with you.
Why does a man not love, but use a woman?
Women's psychology is very different from men's. For the most part, ladies are firmly convinced that when you love a person, you cannot use him. And they mistakenly believe that men think the same way. However, the male sex by nature wants, and most importantly, knows how to use the weaker sex.
Both parties involved in the relationship are responsible for the relationship. It's a shame to realize, but if a man uses you, it means you yourself allowed him to do so. Perhaps you simply are not aware of exactly how you are sending the message to your partner to use you.
A man may behave differently
Several main reasons why a woman allows a man to use her:
- A woman cannot defend her own boundaries due to low self-esteem.
- The lady shows too clearly how much she depends on the relationship with her partner.
- A woman who has been alone for a long time craves personal happiness so much that she often agrees to relationships in which the man does not even understand whether he loves or uses her.
- The young lady endows her beloved with qualities that are not entirely inherent to him. Then she begins to believe in what she has invented for herself, and clings to relationships that are sometimes painful for her.
The listed female types try with all their might to fulfill all the whims of their partner, hoping to tie him more tightly to themselves. Men see this and willingly accept the rules of the game. After all, it’s impossible to use a woman who doesn’t need you.
However, living with a person who does not love you, but uses you, does not bring anything good. Sooner or later you will realize that years have passed, but you have not seen happiness.
Don't let yourself be used
What to do to prevent a man from using you:
- Measure exactly what you give in a relationship and demand something in return from the man. Don't believe promises. He must do this now, and not in the distant and unclear future.
- Never lend money to a man or pay for him anywhere.
- Value yourself. If there is something you are not happy with in your relationship, clearly and clearly explain to your man what exactly it is. Perhaps he will think about it and the situation will change.
- Don't always be available to him. Abstain from sex from time to time and see how your boyfriend reacts to it.
Think about it and be honest with yourself. Are you comfortable in your relationship with your partner? Do you feel happy? If you cannot answer positively, then it’s time to change something in your life. Sometimes loneliness is a much better option than a toxic relationship.
Does he love you?
If you find out that a man does not love you, but is only using you , then no matter how difficult it may be for you, it is better to break up with him. And the sooner you make this decision, the faster and easier you will get through the breakup. Believe me, you will find the strength to move on, and you will definitely meet your true love.
She only does what she wants
This mainly indicates that you are a wuss. It's one thing for her to benefit from your lifestyle, but it's another thing entirely for her to force you to do whatever she pleases . Forget about your life, everything will be as she wants. Don't try to do everything possible just to please her. Stop! Not only will you lose yourself as a person, she will simply be completely disappointed in you. The fact is that no one likes people who are so weak-willed. And if she is still next to you, this does not mean at all that she is happy. She's just using you until she finds someone better.
It's time to stop being a sucker and show your teeth instead of being tied on a short leash. Tell her what you want, and if she ignores it, then don't worry about it either. Tell her you're going to the mall, whether she wants to go or not. And if she apologizes, that's good. She just thinks too much about herself, and now she realized that she needs to be more attentive to others. But if she is silent and does not understand that she was wrong, then in this case you should not try to improve the relationship.
Shows interest only at work
Do you work for a company and it only shows its location during business hours? There is something to worry about. You are probably in a high position and she is hungry for a promotion, and you are the only opportunity to achieve what she wants. When the work day is over and you go home to spend time together, she's not as keen. However, she goes anyway, because deep down she knows that in the end it will benefit her career.
Again, if you feel a lack of emotional input on her part, she is definitely taking advantage of you. Lack of emotional connection implies short answers, lack of spiritual intimacy, equal initiative on her part, etc. It's a feeling as if she is close to you, but at the same time somewhere far away. If this is the case, then try to end your relationship and see her reaction.
Commercialism - selfishness or rational approach
Psychologists have different opinions about commercialism. For example, American psychologist Tim Kasser showed that commercialism presupposes the need for excessive spending of money, the presence of a cool relationship with a partner, health problems and a lack of job satisfaction. In general, he came to the conclusion that commercialism is an unhealthy desire for enrichment, incompatible with sincere love.
Other scientists do not agree with this opinion. Psychologists studied what motivates women in relationships and came to the conclusion that they are looking for men with a certain set of qualities that will provide them with a comfortable existence. According to these results, commercialism is a person’s healthy desire to have confidence in the future.
Thus, this character trait can be interpreted in different ways. However, if the girl is only taking advantage of you, such a relationship is unlikely to bring happiness.
She's interested in your friend
The worst thing that can happen is that she tries to get to another guy with your help. Yes, it’s quite cruel and only the lowest people allow themselves to behave this way. Does a smile appear on her face when you say that your friend will be at this party? Does she often remember his name? Bad sign! It's obvious that she likes her friend more than you. And she is with you only because she knows: you are the only opportunity to achieve it. It's sad but true.
There's nothing wrong with you, but there's clearly something wrong with her. And once you have come to this conclusion, the only way to solve this problem is to get rid of it before it gets worse. You may get hurt more in the future, so it's best to get it over with right away. Communication is the key to solving all problems, especially this one. If you randomly ask if she has feelings for your friend and she slurs her words and doesn't directly answer yes, then you know the answer. Also pay attention to the article 10 signs that a girl is cheating on you.
She's manipulating you
Girls are taught moronic manipulations in the courses “How to become a bitch” and she tests her skills on you. The most popular trick is “closer-further”. Let's look at examples.
- You are sitting in a cafe, she is fiddling with her hair, stroking the stem of her glass and looking at you so passionately that there is already a tent in her pants. You are already mentally going through the positions in which you want to fuck her and frantically feeling your pockets in search of condoms. And suddenly she calls a taxi and, with the excuse “My mother is waiting for me at home,” runs off into the sunset. She started it and didn’t give it. But you will think about her all evening. It sucks, but to think!
- She wanted to beg you for a fur coat. She promised to suck even with a fever and give in all positions, but you held on like a rock. The next day she was offended: you are dynamite, she doesn’t answer your calls and walks by with a proud poker face. And you think: “Okay, I’ll buy her this fur coat. I’m a man.” You are not a man, you are a weakling. By ignoring you, she got you into big money and proved that manipulation rules.
Changes in her mood in society
When it's just the two of you at home, you don't need anything else. There is no need to do anything spectacular like wine or a restaurant to show the value of the relationship. Therefore, if you suddenly notice a sharp difference in her behavior alone with you and among friends, you need to pay attention to this. Sure, she likes your lifestyle and thinks you have great friends, but that shouldn't be the only reason she's with you. Whether your friends are great or not, she should enjoy her time with you.
Just because she doesn't mind staying home with just the two of you doesn't mean she's boring. This means that she doesn’t need anything but you, she already feels happy. In other words, is she dating you or your friends? One of the main considerations for guys when it comes to finding a good girl is whether she will get along with your friends. But, as with everything, too much is also bad. There is a very fine line between getting along with your friends and completely conforming to your lifestyle.
Not interested in your friends and family
This is completely the opposite of when she is interested in your life. However, the difference is not that she would prefer to communicate only with you, and not with everyone around you, but that she does not care about your life at all. There is nothing good in both things, and if you feel a lack of any interest, then you need to pay attention to this.
You should be with someone who really wants to be with you and wants to know everything about you without pursuing selfish goals. So, if she only likes to spend time with you without your friends and family, then she only wants you for company. She's either bored, or worse, she knows that she can play with you any way she wants, especially if she's always pestering you. The presence of friends will not only cause hostility, but will also scare her away, since one of her friends will definitely notice how badly she treats you. Naturally, this doesn't suit her because she gets away with everything when it's just the two of you.
Faking Weakness 2
Sometimes a woman's game is quite harmless and does not carry any consequences. Women tend to bear the title of weak and defenseless creatures from birth, so many girls shamelessly take advantage of this. They ask you to move the sofa, closet, table, simultaneously slipping a broom into your hands.
They categorically refuse to go alone to the store so that they have someone to deliver the packages to. There is nothing terrible in this, as long as such a game does not become too obvious and unreliable. Everything is good when it is in moderation.
There is also a more dangerous sign, by which it immediately becomes clear that a woman is using a man. She delegates all her minor responsibilities to him, not as a request, but as an order. Often, charmed young men are not able to say no if the young lady has already sunk into their hearts and dreams about them at night. The important thing here is to quickly break out of this vicious circle and find your own voice.
She often wants personal space
Have you ever caught yourself thinking that she pushes you away quite often? You know that she is not at work right now and is not busy with anything important, but still does not want to go anywhere with you. It's great when you each have your own space, but there's a fine line between when that's good and when that's bad. Otherwise, it suggests that she doesn't truly love you. When someone is truly passionate, they wish they could spend more time together. Therefore, if she is not busy and at the same time does not want to meet, you should start worrying.
And as soon as feelings start to hurt, it's time to do something about it. On top of that, if you're really upset about her lack of interest in you, you should tell her about it as soon as possible. Tell her how you feel and if she doesn't care about solving this problem, then there is no point in moving forward in the relationship.
Additional
It is almost impossible to recognize a mercantile girl at first. After a couple of months from the start of dating, she will not be able to hide her user attitude if her goal is to obtain maximum benefit.
Friendly connection
A man who wants to build a strong relationship expects a similar desire from his partner. Therefore, he may be wary of the lady’s detachment, claiming that everything is happening too quickly.
If a girl shows friendly feelings, but the partners have nothing else besides hugs and kisses (and we’re not even talking about sex), most likely the young lady is taking advantage of the man. The reason is the need for significance, which is provided by the person nearby.
Kisses
Physical contact is a natural desire of people in love. If partners are truly attracted to each other, they want to hug, kiss, and hold hands. A mercantile lady uses kisses as a reward.
She kisses a man only when she sees benefit in it. Moreover, she takes the initiative and stops as soon as she gets bored. Such a lady puts the interests of her partner in last place and will not even notice his discouragement.
Monologue
A representative of the fair sex who maintains a relationship with a guy for selfish purposes will sooner or later reveal her true essence. For example, during communication she talks about topics that interest only her:
- unsuccessful marriage;
- work problems;
- holiday dreams;
- desire to buy an expensive thing.
If a date turns into a monologue of a person with a difficult fate, the man should soberly assess the situation. Telling your loved one about yourself without the desire to listen to your partner is a signal to leave without looking back.
Ridicule
The behavior of a young lady who finds any excuse to verbally mock a guy cannot be considered normal. It’s one thing to make sincere jokes without stooping to humiliation; it’s another thing to mock, even if your partner is offended.
A woman who manipulates a man may tease and ridicule him in the company of mutual friends. Such actions on her part are unacceptable, so there is no point in continuing to maintain the relationship.
Apologies
It is important to pay attention to your partner's ability to apologize if she makes a mistake and knows about it. Perhaps the girl is too proud and perceives an apology as a humiliating act.
Adequate adults who care about their partner’s feelings will ask for forgiveness if their actions caused him inconvenience. A young lady whose attitude towards a man is based on profit will never apologize.
Payment for restaurant meals
It cannot be said unequivocally that by paying a restaurant bill out of his own pocket, a man supports women’s commercialism. However, some signs of a selfish attitude should be wary:
- the lady agrees to visit only expensive restaurants;
- selects dishes with the highest cost;
- never thanks for dinner.
In many countries, it is common for partners to jointly pay bills. It’s a good sign if a woman is ready to split expenses between two people. Otherwise, it is necessary to observe her behavior in other situations.
Personal interests
A prudent young lady does not care what interests her partner has. If he asks about any preferences, he does it for appearances. Her main goal is to satisfy her own needs.
When a guy suggests going somewhere, she chooses the option that interests only her. It doesn’t matter that your partner may not like the choice. Compromise is an unacceptable concept for a self-interested lady.
Avoiding serious conversations
One of the clear signs that the young lady is not in the mood for a long-term relationship. She will avoid conversations related to her family, friends, and real feelings. As soon as the guy starts a conversation, the girl immediately switches her attention to something else.
The lack of sincere interest in a man can be seen in the way a woman answers serious questions. When asking about the possible development of events in their life, a guy may hear “I don’t know” or “we’ll see.”
Language of the body
A person’s attitude can be read by his gestures, facial expressions, and posture. It is quite difficult to completely control bodily manifestations; they often arise unconsciously, depending on what a person thinks and feels.
Confirmation of interest:
- prolonged eye contact;
- absolute attention during a conversation;
- sincere smile;
- tilting the body towards the interlocutor.
If, instead of the listed signs, a woman avoids direct glances, ignores a man in the presence of others, and looks around when communicating, it means that she sees the value of her partner only in receiving some kind of benefit.
Sex
It's not just women who complain that men only want sex. Representatives of the fairer sex can also use a partner only for intimacy. A guy inspired by feelings will not immediately notice a mercantile attitude.
You can recognize a self-interested person in the following way: she meets a guy, makes love to him and immediately goes home. She is not interested in intimate conversations after sex, because she received the desired physiological release.
Lack of interest in details
A lady maintains a relationship for selfish purposes if she is not interested in information about her partner - his hobbies, friends, work, family. Most likely, she doesn't even know the last name of the man she's dating.
It is enough to ask what they talked about a couple of months ago or how many brothers and sisters a man has to determine the presence of sincere feelings. A girl in love remembers the slightest details of conversations, a mercantile one doesn’t care.
Domination
The manifestation of initiative on the part of a woman, at first glance, seems normal. However, there are important nuances here that should not be overlooked if a man wants to build strong relationships:
- the lady calls according to her mood;
- arranges dates;
- offers to visit places that she likes.
These behaviors are signs of obvious partner exploitation. If he offers options, the girl considers them incorrect. Overt dominance over a partner (we're not talking about sex) indicates a lack of real attraction.
Depreciation of time
If a girl is truly in love and wants both partners to enjoy the relationship, she will appreciate the time that a man devotes to communicating with her. This is especially true for men who work almost seven days a week.
A mercantile person doesn’t care how hard it was for a man to find time to meet his beloved. At first she will agree to a date, but at the last moment she will change her mind, citing more important matters.
Slow response
A strong attraction to another person is expressed in the form of certain actions. For example, if we talk about messages or phone calls, the partner will try to answer immediately.
If she hesitates, perhaps:
- busy at work;
- phone on silent mode;
- there is no opportunity to answer.
The reason for the slow response may vary. Maybe the girl is taking a shower and simply doesn’t hear the bell. But if it takes hours to answer, she is absolutely indifferent to the man.
Keeps you at a distance
Have you noticed that she doesn't let you in on most of her life events? Have you seen her posting pictures on social media with friends and family but not with you? Did you ask her what was happening to her? If you've already asked yourself one of these questions, perhaps it's time to stop and think about whether this is the kind of relationship you want.
It's been said before that it's important to be independent from each other sometimes, but what's the point of being in a relationship if you're not going to share your life with your significant other? By keeping you at a distance, she shows that you are not good enough and she only needs you sexually and financially. It's good when you're around, but you're still not the same person, she doesn't take you seriously. It sounds quite cruel, but the truth is sometimes unpleasant.
It's all your fault
If you quarrel, she will blow your mind and make you feel guilty. It’s unclear how she does it, but in a couple of days you’ll be the one crawling to her with a new trinket or a gold card in your mouth. You give in, cave in - and oops, the girl is already sweeping the floor with your self-esteem.
As a rule, she does not mince words and hits people with words more painfully than with a knee in the balls. Do you think a woman who really loves a man will say:
- You’re not even capable of satisfying a woman!
- What kind of man are you? Your dick is just dangling for beauty!
- He decides! Your solution atrophied in infancy!
Your masculine qualities are the number one target for an evil woman. From every quarrel she gets a thrill and a powerful adrenaline rush. And she always comes out a winner.
Doesn't talk to you normally, just whines
When she comes to you and constantly only complains about work or friends, there is something suspicious about it. Most likely, she came to you not to have a good time, but to be listened to. Essentially, you are just a whipping boy. Does her emotional release irritate you? So tell her about it. Don't allow yourself to be treated like a wall when only she speaks and you must remain silent.
And if she doesn't care about your opinion, then she is definitely using you to vent her emotions. She could care less about how your day went. The only thing that matters is her own pleasure and feelings. And she is counting on you to listen to her.
As soon as you notice that she is starting to complain again, try changing the topic. Listen to her, but don’t forget to talk about yourself, or tell her something funny. If she doesn't show interest, responds definitively, or doesn't respond at all, then it may be time to reconsider the relationship.
Why do girls use me
At times, people of any gender can be very manipulative, selfish and consumerist towards others. These could be your friends, colleagues and partners. How to understand that a person is taking advantage of you?
First of all, you shouldn’t think that the “one-sided game” is unique to girls: in an unhealthy relationship, either party can use their partner. Moreover, not only financially, but also emotionally, shifting the burden of household duties onto him or her, responsibility for the well-being of the family, raising self-esteem at the expense of another person, or satisfying one’s need for attention.
If from time to time you fall in love with women who use you, this does not mean that there are no good girls around with whom you can build healthy and happy relationships based on reciprocity and harmony.
It is possible that the reason you fell into this unhealthy pattern of romantic relationships was... yourself. Or rather, you have a lack of self-love and “nice guy syndrome” - you can read more about this phenomenon in a separate article.
- Lifestyle How to accept and love yourself: a guide to caring for a cool guy named “you” Why lack of self-love is harmful and advice from psychologists to help you accept and value yourself.
If you don’t want to be exclusively a sponsor, a “rescuer” or a vest for a girl, then try to think about the qualities that you are looking for in a potential partner, and the feelings that an ideal friend would give you.
The main thing, when trying to get out of the vicious circle of manipulative relationships, is not to go to extremes, turning from a giver into a miser, ready only to take without giving anything in return.
Remember that the secret to a happy relationship is balance, in which the needs and feelings of both partners are important.
She never pays for anything
This is probably one of the biggest signs that she is using you. And this is what all men hate. A man feels confident when he is able to provide for a woman, and some men truly feel even better when they take full responsibility for her care. However, it is absolutely unacceptable for others if the woman does not participate financially in the relationship at all.
Even if a man likes to pay for her, then there is nothing wrong with her taking care of him too. This shows that she genuinely cares and that she is just a good person. Who doesn't want that? She is sometimes financially unstable, and in some cases this can be accepted. On the other hand, when she knows that she is not in the best financial situation, but she has you, so everything is fine. And she will certainly start to panic when you suddenly decide to break off relations with her.
The best thing you can do to avoid this problem is to decide at the very beginning of the relationship how you will spend your money. Always be persistent in wanting to pay for her on a regular basis so that she doesn't feel guilty. And be sincerely happy if she constantly takes on the grocery shopping. Again, it's about communication. Don't wait until you both find yourself in a difficult situation and are forced to talk about it.
How to understand that a girl is using you if you are in a relationship
It is not always possible to recognize a manipulator at the initial stage of communication. It happens that a relationship has already begun, but it is not at all what you would like. How can you understand that a girl is dating you for selfish reasons and not out of love? Now I'll tell you.
Begging for gifts
Men, remember - the candy-bouquet period should not last forever. Material investments at the beginning of a relationship are needed to show the seriousness of your intentions. When you become a couple, you do not sign an agreement on the lifelong maintenance of the girl. Therefore, any demands on her part are not justified.
How to proceed? You can sometimes please your beloved girl with spontaneous gifts, but you need to do this from the heart and of your own free will. And if she makes it clear that she is ready to be with you only on the basis of constant financial investments, then she is much more attracted to your wallet than you are.
Avoiding sex
Either she is not in the mood, then her head hurts, then retrograde Mercury does not allow her to tune in... Or even worse - she punishes you for any offense by excommunication from your body. And you humbly wait until the queen deigns to come down to you and bestow her love.
In a normal relationship, both partners strive for intimacy. If sex becomes a subject of bargaining, then there is no question of any love.
How to proceed? Do not be manipulated, do not demand or beg for intimacy.
Provoking jealousy
A girl flirts with other guys, constantly corresponds with someone on messengers, comes home with bouquets from left-wing men? There are two explanations for this behavior - either she doesn’t care about you at all, or she is deliberately provoking you to jealousy. Girls often resort to the second option to demonstrate their relevance and encourage the guy to invest more.
How to proceed? Challenge her for a serious conversation and tell her that you do not intend to tolerate such an attitude. If she ignores your words and continues in the same vein, break up with her without regret.
Reluctance to introduce parents and friends
The more a person sympathizes with you, the faster he strives to introduce you to his circle of close people. If you have been dating for quite some time, and the girl is in no hurry to introduce you to her surroundings, this is a reason to be wary. Perhaps you are just a temporary option for her until she finds someone better.
How to proceed? Ask directly why the girl doesn’t introduce you to her loved ones. Perhaps she just has strict parents who do not approve of close relationships before marriage.
Consumer attitude
Does a girl only remember you when she needs something? For example, take you to the airport, disassemble a closet, fix a computer. Are her requests more like orders and do not imply refusal? Congratulations, you are in her service area. In words, she may say that you are dating, but in reality she is simply using you as free labor.
How to proceed? Refuse, citing being busy. Offer other options for spending time where you don't have to work for her for free.
Stealth
You should be wary if a girl prefers to meet only in secluded, deserted places. For example, he chooses for a walk not the embankment in the city center, but a forest park on the outskirts. This means that for some reason she doesn’t want to be seen with you in public. Perhaps she has another man or a whole string of suitors who are not supposed to know about you.
How to proceed? Let her know that you will be choosing a place for a date next time and gauge her reaction. If she categorically refuses to go to a popular place in the city, then your fears were not in vain.
Indifference to your problems
You pour out your soul to her, and she indifferently picks at her phone. To all your attempts to gain sympathy, she has one answer: “You’re a man, so don’t whine.” If she really loved you, she would treat you with understanding and sympathy. This means that some other reasons keep her close to you - material gain, fear of loneliness, habit...
How to proceed? Demanding love and attention from a person is pointless. If he had them, he would gladly give them without any requests. You have no choice but to admit that there is a strong imbalance in this relationship - you suffer and depend, but the girl almost doesn’t care.
Thirst for freedom
If your chosen one does not want to spend her free time with you, then she has more important things to do. Often these “things” turn out to be gatherings with friends, shopping, and being stuck on social networks. Are you happy with a place on the margins of her life?
How to proceed? The same as in the previous paragraph - admit your low importance and give the girl complete freedom from you forever.
She only calls you at night
You have to come, it's a no brainer. She is using you for her sexual purposes. After all, it’s not only men who wander at night. Women also love to be affectionate, and therefore, if they have someone, they will not waste time. They call you. If you notice that calls occur more often at night rather than during the day, then something is clearly wrong with her. And until you fully support her position, do not follow her lead. Convince her that you are not satisfied with such a relationship built on benefits.
This is usually the last thing a person wants to hear if she is trying to completely dominate you. In addition, you must refuse her the next time she calls again in the evening. Tell her you're busy. If she starts to get nervous, then she is either sexually unsatisfied or jealous in case you have someone else. In the second case, there is a small chance that she has serious feelings, and not just a desire to be with you in the bedroom. However, you can't be that sure, so talk to her about it.
How to recognize a pretender before starting a relationship
The sooner you recognize deception and manipulation, the less time, money and nerves you will lose. Therefore, let's learn to determine a girl's intentions at the initial stage of communication.
Let's take a hypothetical situation. You court a girl for a couple of weeks in a row - invite her to the cinema, treat her to a restaurant, give flowers and gifts. At the same time, she is in no hurry to get closer to you - apart from a friendly kiss on the cheek, she didn’t give you anything. How can you tell whether this is a quiet, shy woman who doesn’t want to seem approachable, or a manipulator who wants to pump more money out of you?
The following signs should seriously alert you and force you to change your tactics.
Unhealthy interest in your financial situation
If from the first days of communication a girl is actively interested in your financial wealth, this is a bad sign. The most straightforward ones can ask you directly how much you earn, what kind of car you drive, what kind of real estate you own. Others act more subtly - they ask leading questions on abstract topics, forcing the guy himself to lay out all the strategically important information.
For example, a girl may ask how a young man feels about a mortgage. Rarely does anyone answer with a monosyllable “good” or “bad.” Usually, in response to such a question, people launch into lengthy explanations, citing their own housing situation as an example.
How to react? Gently avoid answering and change the subject. You are not at the IRS to report your income.
Lack of initiative to communicate
If you constantly write and call first, offer meetings, and the girl only agrees to your initiative, most likely she doesn’t really like you. Otherwise, she would also have already shown interest in communication.
Don't be under the illusion that she's shy or too busy. The girl is aware of your sympathy, which means she has nothing to be ashamed of.
How to proceed? Reduce activity. Give her the opportunity to realize your importance from a distance. Stop texting first and watch her reaction. If she never writes, it means she really doesn’t like you. You shouldn't waste your time on it.
If he writes, then continue communication on the terms of mutual initiative. Let her know that the role of page and tower conqueror is not interesting to you.
Expensive leisure
If all dates are accompanied by your material costs, this should alert you. Perhaps the girl just wants to have a good time and eat delicious food at your expense, but she is not interested in you yourself.
How to proceed? Offer her leisure time that you don't have to pay for. For example, a walk in the park, cycling or rollerblading, swimming in the river, etc. If the girl does not agree or expresses annoyance, you have a serious reason to think about her decency.
Physical distance
A guy who is actively courting a girl, spending money on her and openly expressing affection for her must take steps towards physical intimacy. Try to hug her, take her hand, kiss her. If in response to these steps the girl freezes and builds a wall, then something is going wrong.
How to proceed? The next time she stops you from trying to hug or kiss her, ask directly what's wrong. She doesn't want to kiss you because she doesn't like you or there is another reason.
If in response you hear speeches about psychological trauma, longing for an ex, a wounded soul, then you can be sure that she doesn’t want anything serious with you.
If she says that she needs time to get used to you, ask directly how long. You can wait a week, and if nothing changes, reel in the fishing rods.
Lack of interest in you
During dates, does a girl talk all the time, not allowing you to get a word in? When you tell something, does he look sadly at the phone? Forgets what you told her before? This means she is not interested in you as a person. Most likely, she spends time with you for some selfish reasons. Or simply out of boredom, so as not to languish alone.
How to proceed? If there are no other signs that the girl is going to use you, continue to communicate. Try to say something exciting to pique her interest. If the lack of interest is just an item on a long list of warning signs, I advise you to say goodbye to her.
Talking about your ex
You've probably noticed that when you really like someone, all emotions, thoughts and conversations revolve around him. It is very difficult to get distracted and switch your attention to something else. If in a conversation a girl often mentions her ex-man - no matter in a positive or negative way - then her feelings for him are still strong.
She can emotionally tell him what a goat and bastard he is, and at night cry into her pillow for him. In this case, you are destined for the role of a dull vest and a jack for self-esteem.
How to proceed? Do not support such conversations, change the topic. You can directly say that you are not interested in hearing about some Vasya who broke her heart.
Strange questions
There is no limit to the cynicism of some girls. They might, for example, use one guy to get closer to another. You should be wary if a girl shows increased interest in one of your male friends or relatives: she finds out personal details, asks to introduce you.
How to proceed? Don't entertain such conversations. If the girl is persistent, tell her that you are not sharing your friends’ personal information.
Only calls you when she has no one else
Being the last option is definitely a sign that you are being taken advantage of. When you are aware of her schedule and what she does in her free time, you know very well when she might be busy. Thus, if she suddenly calls you, then perhaps everyone is already busy and you are her last hope. It sounds sad, but this happens often. Some people don't want to admit it.
Ask her to stay with you a little longer. If she declines the offer, she is not interested in spending time with you, whether she has plans or not. She can accept an offer to go somewhere only if she has no one else to go with. Nobody wants to be an alternative. Naturally, you will want to be the first person she thinks of when she wants to go out.
Sex - on holidays
At the beginning of your relationship, she simply tries to keep you busy longer. She has a bunch of excuses:
- “There was a difficult relationship, I’m not ready yet.”
- "I am not like that".
- “Oh, I can’t do it today, I’m having these days.”
Then she will let you into her body, but sex in your relationship is as rare as snow in Africa. The girl gladly accepts teddy bears, approves of your proposals to go to a restaurant, blushes cutely when you roll out another IPhone in front of her. At best, she will reward you with sex. At worst, he’ll give you a peck on the forehead and go, dude, grind the ear of grain by hand.
And you know, dynamo is not as bad as barter sex. You give her boots - she gives you a blow job. You waved a gold ring in front of your nose - and she has already put on her best underwear and is waiting for you in bed. But if the rudiments of reason awaken in you and you begin to limit the girl in something, she will quickly tighten the screws. Charitable sex is not included in her plans.
But think about this: women need sex too. Simple physiology! If you don't fuck her, it means someone else is doing it.
She's not interested in what you say
Until you tell her that you have tickets to the most anticipated concert this month, she won't show any interest in what you have to say. This also applies to how your day is going, what you want for dinner, back pain, etc. She will only pretend to care about you, because she simply has to do this as a girl. But it will be obvious that she is faking. Why should you be with someone who is not interested in you?
Of course she likes everything about you, your car and where you live. But other than that, she doesn't care about anything you say. Eventually, you will feel a lack of interest, and then you will have to tell her that the relationship is not working out. If she wants you to feel more loved, then all is not lost. But if she thinks she treats you okay, then it's time to find a new girl.
