Every girl wants to find a life partner. To do this, she does everything imaginable and unthinkable: she watches her figure, exhausts herself with workouts, buys the most beautiful outfits, creates images that would be the envy of Hollywood stylists. Often this is not enough.
Here sits a girl from whom you can’t take your eyes off, but he still walks arm in arm with another, not even necessarily a beautiful woman. And a single woman can only continue to wonder what kind of women men choose?
What does self-esteem have to do with it?i
Russian psychologists and sociologists at Tyumen State University conducted an interesting study to find out whether men's self-esteem influences their choice of women.
For scientific analysis, men were divided into age groups: 18-24 years, 26-32 years, 33-40 years. The subjects' self-esteem was measured using the Dembo-Rubinstein method as modified by Yanshin: vertical lines are drawn on a piece of paper in a horizontal position, indicating scales of health, intelligence, character, happiness, self-satisfaction and optimism.
First, the experimenter draws the first line - a health scale. The bottom is the very sick people, the top is the healthiest. The subject is asked to mark where he is. Then the second, third, etc. lines are drawn. After determining self-esteem, men were divided into the following groups: inflated self-esteem, high, average low.
And here are the final results. Men with low self-esteem prefer clean, thrifty, non-vulgar and understanding women.
Those with high self-esteem choose to match themselves: independent, purposeful and with character.
It was also possible to find out that the traditional image of a woman is “good” for men, but the modern, more independent one is “negative” and they are opposed to each other. Experts note that attractiveness is important for all men.
Who are they avoiding?2
Before you try to understand which women men choose, you need to figure out who they don’t like at all.
Some girls easily find boyfriends and even manage to get married. Others are much less lucky in this matter. Moreover, problems can begin immediately after meeting, when the candy-bouquet period has not yet ended.
That is, when they did not have time to really get to know each other. The partner may simply begin to ignore the woman: not answer calls and even avoid dates, citing constant busyness. If he is not afraid of offending the girl, then he will not come up with excuses.
The search for the reasons for such behavior immediately begins, often in the chosen one, forgetting about oneself, the beloved. And if he says “it’s not about you at all, but about me,” then the woman will take it on faith without hesitation, then the situation will repeat itself over and over again. He just doesn’t want to explain what’s really going on without allowing her to understand her own mistakes.
Of course, it may well be that the situation turned out in such an unpleasant way because of him, but most likely, the lady simply turned out to be one of those whom the stronger sex prefers to avoid.
Simple conclusions
Having looked a little into history, one can already draw logical conclusions when answering the question of who chooses whom. At the moment in our country it is still the prerogative of men. Modern girls and women can rarely be the first to meet a man, invite the guy they like to dance or go on a date. However, there is one thing. If a man must take the first step on his own, a woman can help him with this somewhat, suggesting with her behavior or ambiguous hint phrases what is required of him. It turns out that the man actually chooses, but most often he chooses what the woman wants. The ability or even the gift to inspire men with their thoughts and desires is probably why women were burned at the stake in the Middle Ages.
Dull3
She has completely neglected herself, has lost interest in what is happening around her, is constantly in a bad mood, does not even pay attention to her man, but at the same time she can still yearn for her ex. No man will like this; he will try to run away as far as possible and as quickly as possible from such a woman.
After all, they are looking for and loving something completely different; they want ease from relationships, so that they can breathe freely and enjoy them. How can she even breathe if she is dissatisfied with everything, gets angry at every, even insignificant, reason, sticks out her complex inner world, without thinking about whether a man needs it at all.
In addition, such girls often do not consider themselves attractive, telling their partner about this, and if he did not think so before, then he may well start. She is digging her own grave with her negativity.
What to do: try to tune in to a positive wave, love yourself and life. It’s difficult to be happy; in a sense, it’s a talent. But those women who master it will be able to keep a man close. He will be charged with positive energy from her, which will have a good effect on the relationship.
Successful4
Nowadays, the idea of gender equality is gaining more and more followers not only among women, but also among men. The latter are already more relaxed about ladies who earn more and are able to provide for their family. And yet the patriarchal way of life still persists in the minds of people and it is unknown when it will be completely eradicated.
In the meantime, it exists, that is, men who are afraid of successful women, especially when they are much superior to them. Such relationships can cause him unpleasant sensations inside, a feeling of awkwardness, and he is not far from complexes.
All this will then result in external irritation and discontent. A man will feel that he simply cannot match a woman and provide her at the same level, so he will decide to find someone with whom he will feel successful.
What to do: give out information about yourself in doses. You don’t need to talk about your successes and income right away, otherwise it will scare him away. It is better to find out what he has achieved - this will demonstrate interest in the partner.
What kind of girls do guys like based on their appearance?
Guys and girls have different ideas about attractive appearance. While women strive for model parameters and the repetition of glossy makeup, they achieve the admiration of their friends and male critics. The closer the image is to a magazine look, the more likely it is that men will perceive you as inaccessible and cold. Guys do not prefer ideal parameters expressed in centimeters, but react more to the proportions of the figure (usually this is the difference between the chest and waist volume of thirty centimeters, and the same difference between the waist and hips). With such balance, even the presence of a few extra pounds is perceived as natural and beautiful. This is why athletic girls are so popular - their body is filled with strength, their skin is elastic, and their muscles are resilient and developed in the correct proportions at any weight. In this parameter there is no logical assessment of the image, but largely instinctive ways of choosing a partner.
When assessing appearance, a decisive role is played by the gait, which should be light, and posture with the head held high. Having a waist is a big plus in winning men's sympathy. As for height, there is no single parameter in centimeters, but there is a trend of male choice. Many people like girls a little shorter, that is, her height should match her partner. A tall guy would rather like a tall girl, but a little shorter than him, but those whose height is below average will pay attention to miniature beauties.
Femininity and taste are valued in the ability to dress. Dresses and skirts, flowing scarves, thin heels - all those wardrobe items that are not found in men's clothing attract the most attention.
Men already communicate a lot in their circle, and when interacting with a girl, they want to observe something opposite and beautiful. But you should avoid too extravagant costumes and bright colors - this can scare away and raise suspicions about the woman’s adequacy. A bright, overloaded image is appropriate in childhood and adolescence, and then creates the feeling that the woman has never matured. In this case, the second mistake is excessive brevity. A gray and black wardrobe, versatile and practical, no jewelry and just comfortable flat shoes will create the appropriate look for a woman. Boring, mechanical, everyday - with these you want to solve current problems, and not even the choice of a new car, but the level of payment of utility bills.
Hair is preferably natural color, possibly tinted to add depth or even out faded strands. Men don't like artificial blondes, despite the fact that this shade attracts the most. So it is contraindicated for brunettes to burn their hair with lighteners.
An appearance that will repel anyone is associated with a violation of hygiene procedures. This includes bad breath, dirty nails and hair, peeling manicure, smudged makeup, the smell of sweat, and lack of depilation. Guys love the silkiness of women's skin, so both their face and hands should be adequately moisturized.
Zaumnykh5
No matter what men say, they are afraid of smart women and, therefore, avoid them. Moreover, according to research by American scientists, initially they are pleasant and interested in communicating with intellectually developed girls, but after getting to know them better, the attraction begins to disappear. A man reduces communication to nothing, avoids and distances himself from a woman. The reason is the same: the stronger sex begins to feel uncomfortable, as if their masculinity is being infringed upon.
But it's not that simple. Guys are not interested at all with stupid dummies. In fact, men avoid arrogant female representatives, and not those who have intelligence. It’s unpleasant when she puts herself above, tries not to show her intelligence, but to crush and almost crush a man with it.
What to do: Don't brag. Truly smart ladies will never belittle their chosen one. His ignorance is not at all a reason to grin and roll his eyes, giving explanations like a small child. If he wants to know, he will find all the information himself, or you can do it with him, guiding but not forcing.
General conclusions
What can you say about the current situation? Today everything has become so mixed up and merged together that it is simply impossible to give an unambiguous answer to the question of choice. A woman may notice a trend: she chooses - she is chosen. But over time, the situation can change dramatically. The model of education, and, accordingly, female behavior today has been greatly changed. Often ladies try on the role of a man, and no one will blame them for this desire. Women become stronger and freer, while men begin to relax, lose their masculinity and dominant positions. It is difficult to say whether this is good or bad. These are the realities of our time. Who chooses, who is chosen?.. To answer this question, one article is not enough. If only because first you need to decide: why are they choosing? Everyone judges according to their ideals. One thing is certain: if a woman decides to conquer a man, she will do it openly or on the sly, leaving the stronger sex the opportunity to consider himself the main initiator.
Forever dissatisfied6
A man tries for a woman, gives her gifts, shows her attention, earns money, and in return receives only reproaches. Everything is not enough for her, like that old woman from the fairy tale about the goldfish who was left with a broken trough. Greed and eternal discontent can easily destroy love, no matter how strong it is. Don't take what you have for granted.
What to do: don’t be the mistress of the sea. Men want to be knights in shining armor for their lovers. They are truly ready to treat them like princesses or even queens. But this does not mean that a woman should behave like a spoiled especially blue-blooded woman. A man should not feel obligated; he will very soon get tired of this attitude.
In general, it is already possible to draw conclusions about female traits that are attractive to men. All that remains is to summarize everything and sort it into categories in order to understand which women men choose.
What do women do?
Previously, we found out that there is no clear answer to the question “who chooses - a man or a woman”? But in most cases, the man still takes the first step towards creating a new couple. That doesn’t stop women from finding ways and options to arrange everything in such a way that, while initiating the creation of new relationships, they leave the appearance of a man’s choice. For example, social networks provide enormous assistance in this direction. Girls can easily be the first to add guys as friends, like their photos and write comments, thereby showing their interest. The woman’s choice has been made, but all that remains is to wait to see whether the chosen one will decide to take the seemingly first steps. It is also not uncommon for a guy to be surrounded by several women who are actively fighting for his attention and favor. So who and who chooses in such a situation? It will take a long time to figure this out.
Self-confident7
Yes, the stronger sex does not like it when a woman is so self-confident that she begins to belittle her partner. However, low self-esteem also does not attract men. Firstly, you need to find a middle ground, and secondly, understand that confidence does not equal self-confidence.
Girls who know their worth are automatically placed in a man’s eyes at a level higher than others. It is interesting to pursue such ladies, and besides, the partner will be charged by her self-confidence. This is especially important for successful men.
Men don't want to hear constant whining about a woman's complexes. Sooner or later, they will say: yes, that’s how it is, you need to get better, good luck in this matter, and I guess I’ll go.
Who attracts male attention:
Modern realities
More recently, in the middle of the last century, a new women's movement arose. The suffragettes decided to give a little more freedom to women. Over time, it grew into a more aggressive and radical movement - feminism - the struggle with men for supremacy. However, this trend also quickly lost its relevance (although pockets of feminism can still be observed from time to time). At the moment, women have decided to act more wisely and begin to achieve not yet dominant positions in the “man-woman” struggle, but for starters, at least equality. They called their brainchild gender equality, i.e. equality of the sexes. However, not everything is done as quickly as we would like. It is quite difficult all over the world to overthrow a social order (patriarchy), which has existed for many centuries, but to change the opinion of women themselves is even more difficult. But if in the countries of Europe and America the issues of gender equality are treated much more easily and calmly (and on both sides), and more and more women occupy leading positions and even take seats in parliament, then the countries of the post-Soviet space are still quite far from this. Here, such innovations are not very welcome, and society is still closed to such changes (including from the female side).
What kind of women do men choose? Smart?8
No, there are no contradictions here. Men choose intelligent women who are able to carry on a conversation and can pleasantly surprise. Judging by sociological surveys conducted in 30 countries, men value intelligence more than external data. This is especially noticeable in developed countries. A man with a higher education is looking for a companion to match him. This is understandable, because he will simply be bored with a beautiful but ignorant girl, they will have nothing to talk about.
In addition, smart ladies themselves know perfectly well not only how to win a man, but also how to keep him. And they never demonstrate their intellectual superiority, understanding how important it is for a man to be in charge.
Recommendations that will help you attract the attention of a representative of the stronger sex
Tips to help you in this situation:
- Appearance plays an important role . Not everyone likes too artificial young ladies. But neat clothes, well-groomed hair, hands, and face are important attributes. Guys like dresses that flatter their figure.
- Smile, be positive . Representatives of the stronger sex really like such women.
- Identify common interests with the young person and support them . To build a long-term relationship, you need to live his life. Find out what he is interested in, where he goes, how he lives - you need to find common ground.
- Be interesting, develop yourself . Girls who are versatile, passionate about something, and able to carry on a conversation arouse much more interest.
- Try to be yourself . Men are smarter than we think. They feel falsehood and deception, and this really spoils the impression. And you can't pretend all the time.
- Psychologists advise showing a sense of humor - it speaks of your easy-going character and ability to defuse the situation. But don’t overdo it and don’t abuse the jokes on the chosen one himself.
- Know how to listen and hear him.
- Appreciate him and praise him . Guys are like children in this regard—it’s impossible to praise them enough. But be sincere: false flattery will be noticed and will leave a bad impression of you.
- Don't be intrusive . Many young people welcome women's initiative, but obsession is something else. He may want to be alone, that's normal. He may have his own interests, friends, time spent in male company. This needs to be understood and accepted.
- Stay mysterious . Don’t rush to immediately lay out everything about yourself, demonstrating all your strengths and weaknesses. Reveal new facets gradually.
- Do not live only for him and the relationship - this way he can quickly lose interest in you. You are also a person. You have your own interests and life apart from him.
- Avoid criticism . Few people will like this. Support him and motivate him.
Of course, everything is individual, there is no universal recipe. Men are different, their preferences are also different. It is important to remain yourself and not to prevaricate, to be sincere. These are the kind of women that attract men.
What kind of women do men choose? Attractive?9
There is no escape from this. Men still love with their eyes, and the first thing people pay attention to is appearance. A woman may not have long legs, a thin waist, a wide bust and other characteristics of models from the covers of glossy magazines.
But she should still always look well-groomed. You don’t even have to spend thousands of rubles on personal care. You can create a stylish wardrobe from the simplest things. You can always find a way to tidy up your hair. A woman does not need to change herself, just add a little shine, grace and charm to her appearance.
Men's choice: modernity
Today, several more selection criteria have been added. So how does a man choose his woman? The first factor is appearance. And if earlier they didn’t pay much attention to this, today beauty and grooming are the guarantee that the desired man will pay attention to the lady. Yes, guys love with their eyes, so a girl should always be attractive. Light makeup, a tastefully chosen outfit, a well-groomed body and seductive forms - all this is probably the first criterion for men today when choosing a life partner. It is also important for modern men that a woman is educated, well-read, has a specialty and can earn money on her own, and not hang around their neck. As before, today very often men choose women who look like their mothers. And girls, accordingly, are looking for guys who are similar to their fathers (or, alternatively, the complete opposite of their parents).
What kind of women do men choose? Confident?10
It is important that they are confident and not self-confident. If she wants to be loved and desired, then first of all she needs to love herself, as she is. A woman must understand that she is worthy of happiness, then it will naturally reach out to her. Confidence makes you walk with your head held high, your posture straight, thanks to it a smile appears on your lips and your eyes sparkle.
This alone adds half the attractiveness to a woman. Alas, often behind external bravado lies internal insecurity, which will still break through and those around you will feel it. You can often see a plump lady around whom men hover, whom women admire, because she literally exudes confidence, charm, and inner energy.
Criteria for selecting men
What kind of men do women choose? At all times, ladies preferred excellent earners. Today, little has changed, and what is important for a woman is how much a man can provide for his family. A guy should not be offended if a girl is interested in his financial status or place of work, position and salary, because what is most important to her is that her offspring can exist normally.
An equally important criterion today (and it was the case before) is a man’s appearance. But not so much bright beauty as the presence of muscles, and therefore strength. Again, ladies want to see an educated man next to them. That's probably all. Of course, there are still many different nuances, criteria for personal choice, which can be equally important for both girls and men.
What kind of women do men choose? Grateful?11
We remember that men are offended when the woman they love either ignores his accomplishments done for her, taking them for granted, or, even worse, demonstrates her “finess.” There is no need to say or even hint “this is not enough for me, give me more and better”; no one will like this.
Men, no matter how strong they want to appear, want to be praised for what they do. The opinion of the woman they love is especially important to them, and her approval is the best reward for him.
You shouldn’t believe that the stronger sex doesn’t need compliments; everyone enjoys receiving them. It is also important for them to feel their importance and value in the eyes of their chosen one. Smart women know how to give a compliment without words; often an admiring glance or an approving smile says much more.
A little history
It's no secret that almost the entire world lived in patriarchal traditions for a long time. And this happened long before the beginning of the current chronology, and this is a very, very long time ago. Some human genetic information is passed on from generation to generation with the knowledge that in everything and always men are in charge: they rule the world, act as heads of families, and solve problems that can be called global. A woman always went to a man for advice, resolved all important issues only with him, and was guided by his opinion and thoughts. Often she did only what the man said. The slightest attempts by representatives of the fair sex to change this state of affairs were suppressed and punished in every possible way.
What kind of women do men choose? Sincere? 12
There is no need to try to manipulate a man, resort to threats, refusal of sex, tears, screams, hysterics. Such behavior will not lead to anything good. Most likely, the result will be exactly the opposite. He will be scared and will not want to deal with someone from whom you don’t know what to expect, when her mood changes from bad to good and back again. In the end, the chosen one will simply run away.
Men choose those women who will not mess with their brains, play the silent game, forcing them to guess their desires and feel eternally guilty. For the same reasons, he will give preference to an honest and balanced young lady.
They like it when they speak directly and explain what the problem is. This shows a high degree of trust in the couple, established contact between two people, and the ability to communicate.
