Good day to all readers of my resource! This article is dedicated to everyone interested in the topic of building personal relationships and is intended for you! I can say openly that you have come to the right place, use cool practices and freely available knowledge as much as your heart desires. Once upon a time, as a very young, young and inexperienced girl, I was looking on the Internet for at least some grain of knowledge, well, at least some applicable and effective algorithm in real life that would contribute to both my own development and the development of the person whose my heart chose.
But, alas, at that time this knowledge was very little. Everything around is very expensive and paid, seminar courses require a lot of energy, which can and can be invested in the whole process, but there are no guarantees, because all these gurus, apart from dry theory, do not have any life experience. So, dear girls who want to really pump up their heads with useful life and effective advice, rejoice - this resource is able to provide the necessary information and it can be applied, everything is in your hands! So, let's go, let's start analyzing the topic of what a man's lover is. What he can do in essence and what a girl who wants to connect her life with a man of this type can count on.
Male lover, what needs characterize the type of such men?
A male lover is actually very prosaic, all his actions are very insignificant and insignificant. A male lover can listen to you, even to some extent pretend that he is involved in your problem and life. But he is only geared, sorry for being straightforward, only for sex. I’ll explain on my fingers, in his system of values there is a conviction and understanding that the girl needs to be supported, there is a clear and precise understanding that he himself needs regular sex, so he is emotionally ready to carry a woman on himself and do it always. And that’s all for... then he is most often unable to do more. And if YOU as an individual grow over time in a relationship, go up the career ladder, and want to get something else from such a man, he will not do anything.
In material terms, something beyond that, that’s for sure. And it may happen that you yourself are already quite successful and can afford Cyprus or another vacation, that is, you can and want to invest in yourself, but this guy is still sitting at his dull job. Well, it's boring isn't it? What should I, as a woman, do in such a situation, should I invite him to a resort or what? It's getting sad. The gap between you will grow larger and larger every day. At first, this will result in some emerging differences in worldview, then it will manifest itself in actions in everyday life, and in the end, patience will simply run out, you will want to slam the door and leave. There are no options here. This is a typical scenario in general, but there is another less favorable one.
A less favorable algorithm is that in a woman’s belief system there may be ideas that a man should support his family, give money to his wife, and do this on a regular basis. And in this, in general, there is also a rational grain. Excuse me, how else can a woman raise a child or at least bear it? That is, a man-lover in everything, I repeat absolutely in everything, shares responsibility with a woman and in material terms, including.
But he misses out on one thing - he either knows nothing about female nature, or ignores the characteristics of the female body and devalues it on a regular basis. Something like, I don’t care that you are a woman, give birth as you want, bear responsibility: carry the house on yourself, invest in the development of children, and I will just satisfy my animal needs. That's all. And the picture that emerges for women here is very problematic, both from the point of view of physical health and from the point of view of mental health. These are the eternal lazy types of men who are used to being content with little and sit in one place for years, but there are others.
Being a lover in a relationship is a temporary principle of behavior when the man has not yet been determined
Look, we all go through life living out certain roles, roles in the family, social roles at work. We make friends and meet different people. And the format of relationships, in particular personal relationships, that was interesting at 20 years old, when closer to 30 years old, loses its relevance. From the point of view of female psychology, a certain accumulated experience is already appearing, but there has been no marriage yet or the girl herself has not allowed certain relationships to go far, but she already understands that she is not interested in just hanging out and chatting.
This only says one thing - she is ripe for more, and only a certain man can be suitable for her as a partner, who has also lived through this stage of life and is committed to continuing the relationship in the long term. We all know that both men and women go through certain stages of development, both social and personal. So, a man-lover is also a dude who doesn’t want anything from life in terms of building personal relationships. But, he loves sex and is ready to be with a beautiful girl for a long time, even giving her flowers and gifts. And everything seems to be fine, but only until the girl begins to call him to account, openly declaring that the current format of the relationship no longer suits her.
That's the whole secret. Absolutely typical behavior of an indeterminate man. The most interesting thing is that age is not an indicator at all in this understanding. A man may be undefined at 30 years old, and at 40, and at 50. I am leading all this to the fact that getting involved in a good way, even to satisfy the physiological needs of a good girl, a girl who wants a family in the future, is a waste of time and feminine energy. Therefore, I recommend learning to identify such men even before you enter into close intimate relationships with them. This type of man will be safe, I would even say relatively safe, only for girls who have also not yet decided on the direction of life, and they can feel good and comfortable in this temporary choice.
Financial component
There is a category of women who do not want to enter into legal marriage. This can happen for various reasons, the first of which is the lack of need to provide a man with a living, to correspond to his ideas about an ideal wife. Many wealthy men are demanding of their other half, as well as what their home should be like, and how their wife should build relationships within the family and with relatives.
A legal wife has many responsibilities that a mistress is unlikely to cope with. But on the other hand, she is often younger and more beautiful, with her a man can appear to his friends, she reflects his high social status and confirms his wealth in an intimate sense.
If a woman understands that this relationship is not forever, and if she receives valuable gifts, a prestigious position, property or an expensive car from her patron, then her position can hardly be called disadvantageous. Children born to mistresses often receive their father's surname, as well as property rights.
How to communicate with vague men aimed only at intimate connection
My advice and recommendation is this: so that this too lustful lover, not literally your lover, but a man who only wants to get sex from you, gets rid of him, just be honest and directly state your life priorities. Tell him that you want a family and children, that you are an honest, chaste woman, and sex with men who have different views on life cannot happen just a priori, because the values are different. A male lover lives by different criteria, he is interested in intrigue, he will often mention some girlfriends in conversations, as if pushing you to behave like a female, to create something like a competitive situation. You will immediately notice and feel this, because his thinking is completely different, he has not even reached the level of a husband in his thoughts.
The desire to talk with such characters immediately disappears. Therefore, you need to act purposefully and wisely: tell him that, according to your ideas, an indeterminate man (and that’s exactly what he is) is not interesting to you, he does not excite you with his conversations about possible intrigues and adventures, and you have nothing to talk about with him. Always say you're busy and don't answer the phone. AND NEVER PUT HIM IN THE COURSE OF YOUR PERSONAL LIFE. Because as soon as the male finds out that you are at a party with friends, his hunting instincts may awaken. But, these instincts are aimed only at keeping a certain female in their field, but not in order to somehow invest in this girl and care for her, but to amuse her ego. That's all. A man is a lover, well, once he listens to your lectures, well, twice.
He will begin to understand that he is not attracted to this girl with her correct position and outlook on life, and will begin to disappear from your field of visibility. He cannot somehow get into your personal life and show the instinct of a male, since you yourself do not give a reason, so the maximum that he can do is to be at a distance by which you will distance him, and the goal of all this is as soon as You have clearly found out that this man is not defined, and his goal is only to fuck you sexually - get rid of him immediately. You shouldn’t be interested in talking to male dogs; you don’t need to waste time on them.
Grigory Orlov and Catherine the Great5
In the history of any country you can find many references to favorites and favorites. Grigory Orlov was tall, handsome, stately. Therefore, he did not suffer from the lack of female attention. He was brave and always eager to fight. He also stood out in the palace.
Grigory Orlov and Ekaterina
He met Catherine, then still the wife of Peter III, while serving in a grenadier regiment. She was married, but her husband was not interested in her. For several years there was no intimate relationship between them, and when it happened, Catherine became pregnant.
After the birth of her child, she and her husband were exiled to Peterhof. The future Emperor of Russia was not interested in his wife. Catherine actively corresponded with Orlov and soon they entered into an intimate relationship. She gave birth to a child from him.
It was the Orlov brothers who helped her carry out the coup. The guard took Catherine's side. Historians suggest that Peter III was killed not without the participation of Gregory. After ascending to the throne, the empress supported her favorite.
Over time, he began to behave aggressively, disappeared in various wars and was replaced by Potemkin.
Typical behavior in relationships between eternal male lovers who will never change
I can also say that types of male lovers are not a rare phenomenon among wealthy businessmen. It would seem, why not stop and choose a beautiful girl with whom you will fall in love and will love and try to build a relationship. Still, there is money and business. But, just as he was a lover, he remains one. Even while married. Yes, such men can have decent finances, and they even give it to their wife. Only the whole point is that they chose their wife not based on the presence of some internal qualities, and not even on a pretty face, but simply bought a comfortable woman. A woman who agreed to live in a castle for money from such a guy.
You can have one whenever you want, sublime feelings will not interfere and your pride will not be hurt in any way. There seems to be some idea in his head that he needs to be able to provide for his family, but he is not ready to love. Scary. That’s why men choose to live comfortably, long and calmly with one woman who is ready to bend over backwards and put up with his antics for money. And from time to time, get himself a mistress, a woman with whom he will realize and act out scenarios that he cannot afford in the family. It's scary to love.
And he treats this mistress disgustingly; he can appear as quickly as he can disappear. My opinion is that this position, although convenient, generally only leads to the degradation of a man. He seems to look good, and has finances, something might be going on there. He is capable of beautiful courtship, but there is no personality in him, there is no depth in him. Very quickly you get bored with his conversations about business and how cool he is. So girls, pay attention to whether there are such people in your field.
Among rich people, this format of building relationships is very common. I don’t know who first started to maintain this tradition: a wife and two mistresses. I think that the men themselves started it from their own weakness of spirit and reluctance to pump up their feminine side. And a person is beautiful and valuable when he is holistic and developed in different directions. What’s most interesting is that such situations might not have happened if such a guy’s wife had kept this dude in line.
There are only two options here: either someone allows themselves to walk, but to the left, and someone puts up with it (they give money to live on, you’ll think it’s treason), or someone is tired of fighting it, but doesn’t know how to get rid of it (again a woman is dependent on a man), he understands this and takes advantage of the opportunity - he cheats as he wants, often even directly declaring this to his wife. So why the hell should it stand in a row in this situation and also play the role of a victim in the triangle, right?
Statistics of female infidelity
Psychologists and sociologists regularly conduct research on family relationships.
As a result, the following data was obtained:
- Women cheat less often than men because they are afraid of being exposed. Only 17% of the fairer sex admit to being unfaithful to their husbands. For men, this figure reaches 28%.
- The highest peak of infidelity occurs at the age of 40-45 years (32%). The most faithful wives are most often found among those under 23 years old.
- People raising children cheat 2 times more often than childless people.
- Wealthy ladies can afford extramarital affairs much more often.
- 70% of married women have never cheated on their husbands. According to other studies, in the United States only 50% are faithful wives. Most likely, this is due to the sincerity of the respondents.
- 38% of women find lovers among close friends, at work - 21%, on vacation - 24%, on a business trip - 2%, at their place of residence (neighbor-lover) - 10%. Under random circumstances, 5% of women come into intimate contact, for example, during a party.
- Research has made it possible to understand why a married woman takes a lover. In 57% of cases, she develops feelings for another man.
I fell in love with an asshole or what to do if your cable is macho: useful recommendations for women
Of course, I understand that in real life, if a girl is faced with a similar situation, just reading the article cannot do it, as they say, other methods are needed, more realistic and shocking. Since this man-lover has somehow clung to you along the Anahata chakra, that is, you have already developed in relation to him, if not love, but already infatuation. You know, these intelligible notations may not help. This state is so strange that you seem to understand everything, and you’re even ready to listen to the advice of friends or cool specialists in the field of psychology or extrasensory perception, but you can’t help yourself. And yet, water wears away stones.
In order not to get into even worse things - reading articles like mine is already something, you need to get out of this emotional state. First, understand on what grounds you consider a man an asshole? Because when love comes, the mind has a vacation. The task in this situation is to turn off the sensory zone, even for a while, and turn on your head and think about what he did that you can love him for, or what he did that is so disgusting that you don’t have to love him. That's all. Start analyzing first, even if you already feel something for him - a reasonable and sober look at the situation will always help you stay at ease.
Analyze the actions of a man, save it and everything will be good. Your internal scales will tell you where you need to kick him as far as possible, or cut him off thoroughly. You just need to not invest too much into it and not live by feelings alone, but also use your head. It may also be that this intoxication in the form of an overly excessive emotional state will quickly pass when you are friends with your own head.
And you will thank yourself very much for the fact that this under-knight galloped past on a lame horse, but it could have been worse. I always do this, it's very effective. And I recommend it to my friends - they also get out, although not as quickly as me, but also with success. Literally one or two weeks for internal recovery and qualified information, advice from friends and everything, you are already on horseback and working as before.
Famous examples8
At the beginning of the twentieth century, Spencer Tracy was a sought-after actor. He won an Oscar twice and played many iconic roles. He was married, but this did not stop him from having an affair with Katharine Hepburn. They played in several films and this contributed to the development of sympathy. However, Tracy never divorced his wife. He was a Catholic and therefore divorce was not allowed.
Among lovers and mistresses you can find many interesting and mystical stories. Marilyn Monroe was a sex symbol, a beauty icon, and her favorite was none other than Kennedy. There were rumors that she preferred his brother, but she chose John.
Marilyn Monroe and Kennedy
For the public everything was decent. Marilyn visited the White House by invitation only. They didn't advertise the rest. Some believe that the diva was the reason for the murder.
Another famous Kennedy favorite is Judith Exner. She was first Campbell's wife, then Sinatra's mistress, and then the muse of presidential candidates. Jacqueline knew about the affair, but could not do anything. But Dujdit did not remain faithful to John either and went over to the famous leader of the criminals.
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were secret lovers. They met on the set and dated for five years. Pitt's legal wife has received sympathy from others for a long time
How to reject men who are inclining you towards an open relationship, is it necessary to communicate with such
My advice is this: do not communicate with such people under any circumstances. Don’t communicate with them, don’t talk, don’t try to prove something and defend your truth in verbal battles - this is the man’s responsibility for the fact that he is such a disgusting, sorry member. Just don’t maintain a dialogue with him, the most that can be said is the following: - “If I saw in such an interlocutor as you a normal, adequate interlocutor, then everything would be fine and I could continue, but since you are behaving like a perverted person “I don’t talk to perverts, and the law punishes such people strictly.” And that’s it, you stop all possibility of continuing the dialogue.
Believe me, such disgusting, downward spiraling people do not deserve even a second of your time to talk to them. A note about the law can also bring them back to the understanding that they need to be held accountable for their words; these manipulators simply take advantage of a woman’s lack of knowledge and her timidity. As soon as you start to behave correctly and quickly cut off all such conversations, they shut up quickly, because they understand that with this special one you can get hit in the head. And, as a rule, they get hit, but in a different situation, what is inside this, sorry, freak, sooner or later finds resistance in the outside world and they end up very badly. Leave it to space to deal with them; it is bigger and wiser than one girl.
Advantages of dating a non-free lady4
Outside of family life, people look for different things. Some people prefer to choose a relationship only with a person who is related by marriage. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on such a woman. She will not want to accept expensive gifts, bouquets, or spend time in restaurants.
A married person will not pretend to be a wife. It is in her best interest to keep the affair a secret. It will not require hourly meetings, long phone conversations and correspondence. True, there is always a chance to find the one who will promptly divorce her husband and wait for her lover.
In general, the benefits of such a relationship are good sex without obligations. You won’t have to go on long walks or bombard your beautiful lover with messages in instant messengers.
She will take care of contraception, since in the age of the spread of DNA tests, no one needs illegitimate children. If necessary, you don’t have to worry about breaking up. The process will take place without tears, reproaches and showdowns.
Dangerous demands of male lovers, how to remove a man who is nobody to you
There is another format of relationships, I would even say more similar to pseudo-relationships. When simple situations and actions on the part of an indefinite man whom you have not allowed near you for a long time really begin to cause discomfort, and as a sane woman you understand that something needs to be done about this, because just the thought of such a person makes your head hurt. I myself personally encountered a similar situation, I felt on an unconscious level that a person has some kind of g...but, but I couldn’t give this g...v any specific qualification, I had to study it. And so I studied it, now I can share this experience with you. Male lovers, especially those with unfulfilled sexual needs, are very disgusting.
They are capable of acting out so much as to somehow humiliate or insult a normal girl, because they themselves don’t want to do anything and don’t accept the format of a normal relationship, which makes them physically really sick. I actually caught myself many times with a physical feeling of nausea half an hour before a call from such a character, and I understood. So now so-and-so will call. Information usually comes both in the form of sensations in the body and in the form of images. That is, if you improve your extrasensory perception decently, you can see upcoming events, feel them on your body and see images. This was taught to me at Arcanum when I underwent a year-long training in the development of psychic abilities.
And what I’m saying is that dear girls, always pay attention to the sensations in your body when dialogue with your partner, even if you don’t see him and the dialogue is conducted at a distance, remember that the BODY NEVER LIES. The verbal part in the form of words makes up only 7% of the total flow of information, the remaining 93% is always true and they are in the unconscious, so you always need to catch the trick: what the man says on the phone (what sweet speech and praises he pours in) and what you experience in response to these words. As soon as you feel the difference between feelings and words, move away from the man immediately, it’s 100% wrong.
Such situations arise when a woman does not have much control or unconsciously allows a man into her environment. It looks something like this: a boy appears in a woman’s field - he makes no demands or rights on her, but for some reason over time he allows himself more and more. Calls after 10 pm, hour-long conversations about what a woman should be. This attitude of a teacher friend is very annoying and you begin to not understand what is happening. Who is this man anyway? Who are you that you allow me to be made uncomfortable? And it all starts with a banal acquaintance at work or mutual acquaintances, everything seems to be going well within the framework of friendly relationships, and then for some reason someone decides that they can rule me.
In such situations, only competent boundary building helps. Just in a conversation, convey to the young man that only my father had the full right to give me lectures, and this was in early childhood and until adulthood, so let him save his reasoning for future family implementation, I have already grown up and in problematic issues I can make a decision myself, to Moreover, no one turned to him for advice. You wish him well and throw this dude out of the field. I’ll say right away that this type of man will dominate in a relationship and do it very harshly, since a woman once gave him some slack and he pushed through her boundaries. Dear girls, look at the root, many problems in the future can be avoided with a competent approach in the present.
Married lover: strong on the outside, weak on the inside
Married lover: strong on the outside, weak on the inside. On January 1, 2022, I received a letter on a social network from a girl who positions herself as a professional mistress of wealthy married men. I thought for a long time whether it was worth publishing it and answering it. In the end, I thought it would be very useful for both married men and their wives. Therefore, I present the girl’s text with small bills and my short comment. I hope she will go to my website www.zberovski.ru and read the answer that she asked for as a New Year's gift. “Andrey, you can judge me, but I still want to hear your opinion. You can even describe my story, I don’t mind. If only they would give answers to my questions. I am 28 years old, my name is Christina (name changed). A beautiful slender girl, bright, noticeable and modern. Native Muscovite. The family is ordinary: mom is a doctor, dad is a manager at a car dealership. We are not in the center, we lived on Domodedovo. I studied at school with grades “4” and “5”. I entered the university as an economist, myself and on the budget. Smart. From the age of 18 she began to enjoy attention from men. Cafes, cinemas, restaurants, clubs, gifts and so on, you understand everything yourself. It quickly became clear to me that relationships with adult, married, rich men are more economically profitable than with peers, even from wealthy families. I'm an economist)))
Why is a married lover more profitable? Because, firstly, married men have a feeling of guilt before their mistress, because they know that they are not going to marry me, and they are wasting my years. Secondly, rich married adults compete with each other: a mistress for them is a matter of honor and prestige, and therefore they invest a lot of money in me so that I look better than the mistress of other men. They don’t invest anything in their wives, because they don’t want other men to pay attention to her. That's why their wives are sold to work colleagues or random acquaintances from social networks for attention, compliments and chocolate))).
Thirdly, a married lover communicates easier, because he only needs sex. You give high-quality sex and you get everything from them, no matter how much you ask. Unmarried people need attention, care, tenderness, fidelity, attitude and much more, for which they are not going to pay, naively thinking that all this is a free bonus. Fourthly, a married lover rarely spends the night with you, because they need to go home to their wife. Therefore, at night you can still go to a club or surf social networks from another account. You can even have relationships with two or three at once, as long as the schedule is structured correctly. But this doesn’t work out with unmarried people; they are owners and control everything.
I had contact with a dozen married men (I had more than one married lover). But the most serious relationships are with four so far. With the first of her rich married men, while still a student, she traveled a lot, during the four years of the relationship she visited almost thirty countries. He gradually neglected his business, his business was stolen, he became poor and became uninteresting to me. I barely got rid of him. My second married lover bought me a new Audi, but after two years of relationship he was caught taking a bribe and fled from investigation to the UK. That's how he lives there. He still writes and calls me, swears his eternal love, sends money and promises to return to me. As if I need him))). She didn’t even go to see him in London at his invitation; she lied and said she was refused a visa.
The third married lover, after a year of passionate relationship, asked to give birth to a child. She said “there’s no question” if she buys me an apartment. I managed to ask on time: just before the economic crisis of 2014, he managed to give me a “kopeck piece” in the middle of Leningradka. I got pregnant, and then his wife found out everything. The married lover was non-Russian; such wives have no right to leave their family. Therefore, all in sadness and longing, he gradually merged, tormented, suffering and sick. Fortunately, he pays decent alimony, so you don’t even have to work. Although I still work in a bank, in the VIP client department. After all, a good job is the best place to meet rich men.
True, I don’t run after oligarchs at all, they are difficult to find, and the middle peasants are quite enough for me. It’s just that their wives don’t know how much money they can squeeze out of their husbands simply by not denying them sex. And I, and people like me, know))). That’s why I live happily: work without fanaticism; nannies; good gyms; five star hotels; two to three dates a week with a guaranteed restaurant and sex; interesting weekend with trips out of town; shopping and gifts at the first hint; expensive medical care; connections and the right people. And so on. What else is needed?
Now, my son is three years old. I found out about you when I was looking on the Internet for how to tell a child about his dad, if he doesn’t exist either in documents or in real life. I read one of your articles and admired how logical it was: “Telling a child that dad works very far away; regularly give good gifts supposedly from him; send letters and cakes from him. Ask your grandmother and nanny to support this version. In the meantime, try to find a suitable man who can, if not become an official husband, then at least a normal father. It is advisable to do it before the age of five, while the child’s psyche is very plastic.” I completely accepted this scheme, I’m even ready to give birth to such a hero’s own child. Moreover, I myself want two children, and my age allows it. Therefore, in order not to confuse my son, I don’t show him my lovers at all, and now I have three of them at once. I am immediately preparing him to accept a normal father, even if he is not biologically his own.
Three months ago at work I met another rich married man (another married lover), he is a VIP client of our bank. The relationship this time began to develop too quickly: he is already asking for a child from me; I’m also ready to donate an apartment; shouts that he will leave the family at my first signal. Such a short period of time for a man to accomplish such feats is my personal record. Either my professionalism is growing, or there really hasn’t been sex in his family for a long time, the poor guy has gone completely wild))). But the trouble is that I have no joy! I don't need a serious relationship until I plan to give birth. His love only makes me laugh, I can barely contain myself. I'm shocked by these men. I think I’ll wait at least a year, and then I’ll definitely have to give birth again, because a second apartment won’t hurt.
Now, what are my questions and problems. The main problem: I completely stopped respecting men! I clearly know: no matter how cool and rich they are, no matter how tough their character is, if they get everything from me in sex, then after just six months (maximum - a year) of the relationship they turn into a weak-willed rag. I don’t ask them to marry me, they themselves start talking about it! Honestly, I'm not deceiving you! They themselves begin to tell me that they love only me, that they will leave the family, that they don’t get divorced just because of children, that if they had their way, they would come to me right now and live their whole lives, but they just need their children have grown up a little during the marriage... Moreover, these men, at the beginning of the relationship, told me not to count on anything like that, because they do not have a plan to leave the family, and never will. Like, date me, but remember that relationships are futile and finite. And when you fall in love with someone else, just tell me and I will immediately let you go, get married and arrange your life. I tell them that this relationship without obligations suits me quite well.
And then everything goes according to the same scenario: male love begins, jealousy, systematic overnight stays and weekends with me, conversations on the topic “when will we be together and have children together,” then attempts to leave the family follow. Moreover, all this is secret from his wife. These married men are such comedians! They try to leave the family without informing their wife about it))) This is their game, like children who close their eyes and are sure that they are hiding))).
I myself ask them: “Don’t do nonsense! We mate two or three times a week and everything is fine! Don’t break the scheme that is comfortable for both! If you escalate the situation, your wife will find out and then everything will collapse! Then you yourself will suffer and cry, rush back and forth with things, and then you will be forced to leave me!” But, no: these heroes are shouting that they have no life without me, they are asking for trouble! Of course, then the wife realizes that her husband has someone else, scandals begin, men begin to rush about, gradually deflate, disappear in sadness and sadness. Unfortunately, not forever! They call and write regularly; send money, flowers and gifts; ask not to forget them; follow on social networks; They are jealous and even threaten. Haha)))
I tell them: “Leave me alone, or divorce your wife!” I’m not saying this because I need them – so that they actually fall behind. Because I don’t need this emotional swing at all! I need positive relationships, gifts, sex, interesting leisure time. Calls from their crazy wives, who don’t notice for six months that there is no sex in the family, are not needed at all! But these rags cannot help but get divorced and go to me. As a result, they ruin such a good start to a relationship and spoil their self-image! Sometimes you even have to enter into separate negotiations with your wife; by agreement, I would tell her when her husband was meeting with me, so that he would get punched in the face by his wife, calm down, and leave me completely behind.
This is how I live. Now you understand why I don't respect men. Because they say and think a lot about themselves, but behave like puppets and allow themselves to be twisted into ropes. From here I have many questions. Will I ever be able to respect men? Will I fall in love with someone? And in general: how do these rags manage to make a career and earn money!? After all, all my married lovers are really successful people! Of course, by wasting their time on me and throwing money at me, they are making their situation worse. Everyone loses! But besides their mistresses, they have a family and children... Do they really not understand this at all? But for everyone around them, they are still cool and businesslike, with positions, money and characters! And according to them, they achieved everything themselves? They have behind them imported education, personal growth courses, boards of directors! Characters can actually be tough, even cruel. How is this even possible? How can you be such fools and hostages to your dick? As an economist, I am shocked! The country's budget is in the hands of these men, and they spend everything on women, they fuck everything up in the literal sense of the word! Open my eyes to the world, I don’t understand something! Although, of course, I use all this successfully.
I also don’t understand their criteria for choosing their mistresses. Okay, I am: young, educated and smart. But in the general circle, I regularly see the mistresses of friends of my lovers - there are such magical fools, complete hysterics, complete hillbillies, stupid silicone monsters, and so on. But they are still given expensive cars, apartments, cottages abroad, sent to give birth in the USA, etc. For their sake, they actually leave their families and abandon their own children. Do men generally not see who they are climbing on? It’s clear that nature didn’t give them eyes on the penis, but their brains still have to work)))
You know, men at their parties laugh about women: “Women are like ice cream: at first they are cold and hard, then they melt and stick..” I myself have heard many times how they laugh at women. And at the same time I think: “Of course, this describes us women well! But you yourself are exactly the same!!! You also need to see who melts and sticks more, you can barely tear yourself away from the men in tears and snot!
Write, if possible, what it all means and why it works this way. Really, interesting. I understand that my letter can be sent to a ban: as I see from your site, you are not very fond of the mistresses of married men. You even advise how to fight us))). But please, make an exception for me! Answer me as a New Year's gift: I sincerely say that I am not taking away any of the families, and I do not intend to. I just want to better understand the world around me. I’m almost an excellent student))) If you make an article, I advise you to call it “Married Lover: No. 1 doormat in the world.”
Here is the letter, with my small edits. Now I will try to answer briefly. Briefly - because I said a lot on this topic in a special book “If your husband cheated or left, and you want to return him back to the family.” Now to the point. The logic of the process is simple and fits into 10 points:
♦The logic of behavior of a married man in love with his mistress or Married lover: weak inside♦
1.90% of everything that men do is done for sex . A normal healthy man has a daily need for sex. The peak of sexual activity is during the day (not at all at night, when a man is tired).
2. A man wants to have sex on demand. A man is offended and insulted when a woman denies him sex, avoids sex, or makes it difficult to get sex. Especially if this woman is her own wife.
3. Success in career and business is characteristic primarily of those men who had big complexes in their youth, did not enjoy much attention from women, and did not receive sex. Hence, their increased desire to become someone in this life, earn big money and gain public recognition. Many men, underestimated by women in their youth, strive for success in life and at the same time strive to provide themselves with guaranteed sex through early marriages (between the ages of 18 and 27).
4. If the wife of a success-oriented man takes care of her appearance, supports her husband’s sexual activity in every possible way, and takes the initiative for sex herself, then everything in the family is good and a mistress is not needed in principle . Random one-time infidelities of a husband are, of course, sad and reprehensible, but they do not pose a threat to the family. If a man’s career and income grow upward, and his wife’s sexual activity gradually tends downward, then the vectors of the family life diagram, to put it mildly, do not coincide. A thriving man feels that the demand for him among women around him is growing, but his demand in his own family will fall. He decides that his wife has concentrated only on the children, and his functions as a husband are reduced only to wallet mode. If he sees that there is generally enough money for the family, this creates the basis for calming his conscience. The logic works: “Dad works a lot - dad provides for everyone - dad has the right to spend money on himself, his loved one, including providing himself with sex - this is ultimately useful for the whole family as a whole, since a satisfied dad provides even better for his wife and children - spending on a mistress even more motivates one to become more successful, including for the wife and children.
5. Married lover - Consciously or unconsciously, a man begins to look for a permanent lover, most often at work or in those places where there are optimal logistics for sex, so that at the beginning of a relationship intimate meetings take a minimum of time and the wife does not suspect anything. Since the man initially did not plan to leave the family and did not think at all that the relationship would be long-term (everyone usually expects it to last for several months), he may not choose a smart and beautiful woman as his mistress. The main criteria for a man are guaranteed sex; a woman’s willingness to give a man sex that his wife did not agree to; the woman's own initiative towards sex. At the same time, completely wrongly, men are convinced: “Such intensely sexual behavior is usually characteristic of financially dependent women who want to get something from a man in exchange, and most financially unsuccessful women are not very educated and not very smart.” Hence, their logic is simple: “The more a potential mistress seems poorer, financially (work-wise, career-wise, etc.) dependent and stupid, the higher the chance that sexual harmony will be longer.” The logic is tested by the man’s personal experience: “My wife is smart, educated, and while married she became independent - and that’s where the sex ended. Since I want it, I don’t want it to happen again.” Hence, a man (even a thrice-educated one) consciously chooses a stupid and thrice-silicone woman for himself, as long as she does not hesitate to ask him for money, thereby seeming very dependent, giving maximum sex and doing it completely without complexes. This dependence, reliability, bright vulgarity and guaranteed sex is the whole secret of the success of mistresses. And the smarter the mistress, the more consciously she will behave this way, the more bonuses she will receive from a married lover who is hungry for vulgarity, sex and a sense of power over a woman. The smartest ones can even play bitchiness later, but this is a separate topic of conversation.
6. Married lover - Having found a lover who is very comfortable in sex and communication, if a man communicates with her for more than three months, he is guaranteed to flirt and fall in love. (Exception: if a man has several mistresses at the same time . In a situation of equidistance from several women, the game can last a long time. Indeed, in this option, the man is in love only with himself, he is a complete egoist. But even in this case, he will fall in love: only this woman should be useful for his career and business, he will only love the one who will work for him). The fact is that men do not know the specific specifics of human sexual behavior. They are not aware that one of the specific features of the genus homo sapiens is the very difficult process of pregnancy and childbirth, nursing it until the age of three years, when in the wild a lone female will never cope with this task and will die. Therefore, Mother Nature came up with a program of love, which is the main element in the instinct of procreation in humans.
Love has many functions. One of them is that if a man communicates and has sex with a woman (even virtual) for several months, this means that the chance of conceiving a child is very high (nature, after all, does not know contraceptives and male animals are not protected by interrupted sexual intercourse ). Accordingly, it is necessary to ensure the life of this woman and her unborn child by maintaining communication with this man for at least two to three years. (Even if for some reason they have a quarrel and no longer have sex). And love is guaranteed to break out between a married man and his mistress! And the better the intimate relationship between them, the brighter the love. In principle, partners may not be suitable for each other at all, but compatibility in sex alone will be enough so that an endlessly quarreling man and woman cannot part with each other for a long time, immediately make up and have a hot sex marathon. The importance of frequent vigorous sex is that it creates a feeling in the brain that the partners are completely healthy, which signals the possibility of having healthy offspring. From here, new genetic programs are connected, the connection between lovers is strengthened even more.
7. Now the main thing: ♦ Married lover - when a man falls in love with his mistress, he ceases to control himself. Even if he doesn't know that he's fallen in love or doesn't believe in love at all.♦
Love is indifferent, those who themselves were born of love believe in it,
or don't believe it. She just takes it and moves on.
The tragedy of love is that people usually believe in love when
when she's already leaving. And they shout after her.
Whatever a man thinks about himself, no matter how much money he has, no matter what his character, from now on - he is not his own master! Because it is not for nothing that the instinct of procreation is called the basic one: in the conflict of three leading instincts - basic, self-preservation, food, the basic instinct always wins. Therefore, people fall in love even in war and with those with whom falling in love is mortally dangerous (such as the wife of a crime boss or boss, etc.). Therefore, married men in love logically launch their careers, businesses and families: after all, the roar of the marriage trumpet sounds imperiously in their heads, which orders them to always be close to the woman with whom they have good sex and therefore can have children.
Men do not understand that in the wild there is no strategy for the future, no plan, no tomorrow - everything is only today, animals live one day at a time. Therefore, if before falling in love with his mistress a man had a perspective and strategy for life, then from the moment of love all this is radically restructured to ensure the interests of the woman. The more responsible a married man is, the worse it is for him, his family, and his children. Because he begins to invest all the remnants of his intelligence in providing for his mistress. Hence the donated cars, apartments, secretly purchased houses for that future new family, which the man is still afraid to tell his legal wife about.
♦In general, a man before love and a man at the moment of love are two different people. ♦ Moreover, a person in love is no longer physically able to admit that he is different. Because the more successful a man has been up to this point, the more illusions he has that he is always in control of the situation, that he controls his life, that everything depends only on himself. This is where the piquancy of the situation lies:
The soldier never hears the shell that will kill him.
The more confident we are, the easier it is to manipulate us.
If you don’t believe me, remember the “fairy tale about Puss in Boots”, how the Cat convinced the Ogre to become a mouse, and then ate him. He simply began to admire its capabilities and praise it. In exactly the same way, mistresses manipulate married men: they praise them in every possible way, and men in love themselves do everything to make the woman happy and continue to give sex and praise.
In general, according to genetic programs, a man in love, at any age and with any condition, is simply “food, a resource” to ensure procreation. Regardless of whether children were born from him or not.
A married man's falling in love is essentially his social suicide.
After all, he sacrifices himself and his plans for life to a woman.
Moreover, the most offensive thing for married men is that this woman may not give a damn about his life, health and future. She's just solving her feminine problems. As they say, it’s nothing personal, it’s just business...
8. It is psychologically very difficult, almost impossible, to admit that you are in love, and therefore noticeably stupid . Hence, a married man who falls in love is obliged to give at least some explanation for his behavior, both to himself and to other people. From here, the man convinces himself and those around him that, it turns out, he has always had a very bad time in his family. They don’t respect him there, don’t value him, don’t look after him, etc. It is usually difficult to honestly admit that he, such a great man, was denied sex by his wife. Therefore, any explanations are drawn to the ears, long-forgotten grievances and misdeeds of the wife are remembered. This logic should lead a man in love to the conclusion that he had long wanted to leave his family, he just didn’t understand it until he met such a beautiful woman as his mistress. As soon as a man is imbued with this conclusion, he automatically begins to make plans to leave the family and live happily ever after with the woman he loves, who will bear him children.
9. Married lover - The longer the relationship with his mistress lasts, the more firmly the man is hooked . Because, on the one hand, he begins to develop a feeling of guilt in front of his mistress that he cannot marry her in the near future. On the other hand, the feeling of guilt towards my wife and children decreases. How, if their financial situation does not worsen, then the cheating man mistakenly begins to think that even in the event of a possible divorce, everything will be fine for him and them: there will be enough money for everyone, his wife and children will communicate with him, he will feel just as comfortable as when the wife has no idea about anything. A man in love begins to overestimate the degree of his influence on the situation. Hence, there is always a severe crisis, which always comes after the wife finds out about the affair. No matter how much cheating men prepare for a conversation with their wife and no matter what scenarios they imagine, they almost always turn out to be unprepared for what awaits them.
10. Married lover - Then about a dozen basic options for the development of the situation are possible . They depend 70% on the behavior of the wife and the behavior of the mistress after the wife finds out everything, and only 30% on the man in love.
- If the wife behaves correctly and the mistress makes a mistake, the wife will return her husband to the family. If the wife behaves incorrectly, and the mistress behaves correctly, the wife will lose her husband. If the wife and mistress both behave correctly, the husband will rush back and forth like a shuttle, losing his health, career and money until one of the women makes a mistake, then the man will end up with a competitor.
- If the wife and mistress both behave incorrectly, the man also begins to rush back and forth until one of the women begins to behave correctly, or another woman (third character) appears, who will receive the problematic prize for himself in the form of this man.
And so on. Other options are related to the fact that wives and mistresses cannot always pursue the correct policy for a long time; they often break down and make mistakes, which confuses and complicates an already complex situation.
Its main difficulty lies in the fact that from the moment his wife discovers his affair, a married man in love immediately deceives everyone around him - himself, his wife, his mistress. That is, his words mean practically nothing: he does not fulfill what he promised, takes upon himself obligations that he is not able to fulfill, etc. This key moment is the optimal time for those mistresses whose task is not to take a man away from the family, but simply to earn money and acquire property. Because for a wealthy adult man who is desperately afraid of losing his children, the easiest thing he can do is to save his tarnished male reputation through gifts and financial investments in his mistress. So lovers and panicky frightened men spend their last on those women whom they previously naively considered “conquered”, no longer seeing or understanding the obvious: their light erotic adventure, in fact, costs too much, and they themselves are no longer in control of the situation .
As a matter of fact, this is where the disrespect for a man that a mistress can develop (and is described in Christina’s letter) stems from if she herself is not in love with a married gentleman and remains sober in her thoughts and behavior. If the mistress herself is in love, then her respect for a married man can remain for some time, if he himself does not fall below the low level in her eyes by his actions.
♦ Why doesn’t Christina herself fall in love? ♦ Because, firstly, she always has several men with whom she has intimate relationships. With plenty of room for maneuver and equidistance from her partners, she simply doesn't get close enough to any of them to fall in love. Secondly, many modern girls regularly use oral contraceptives, which seriously changes their hormonal levels. After all, a decrease in the ability of an egg to conceive a child leads to the fact that a woman does not fall in love with the man with whom she leads an intimate life. That is, the genetically predetermined love program works only for a man, but does not work for a woman. Thirdly, Christina quite quickly managed to create a basis for her material well-being, so she does not feel a high degree of dependence on men. That is, there is undoubtedly a dependence. However, since the money comes from several alternative lovers at once, no special emotional connection is formed with any of them.
♦ Could Christine ever fall in love? ♦ Of course it can. When, due to age, he feels a decrease in male activity towards his person, he will feel financial difficulties and stop using protection. That's when love will come. Or she will simply meet a man on her way who will be able to turn out to be a wonderful father of her child, and then she will love him after her child loves him. She will want to give birth to him and fall in love even more. Or she will meet some man by chance, without any selfish purpose, begin to communicate with him, first become emotionally attached, and then fall in love. In general, love is like water: it will always find where and how to leak. If this were not so, the human race would end. And if there is love, there will be respect.
So I answered Christina’s questions.
Now, without wanting to be too moralistic, in conclusion I would like to address married men who start long-term relationships with their mistresses (if they read this article): “Dear men! You should not consider yourself the smartest and most strong-willed people on earth! Understand: because of mistresses, the destinies of those men who are older, more successful, richer, smarter and more courageous than you are broken every day! By systematically pursuing intimate relationships on the side, sooner or later you will fall in love. And when this happens, you will inevitably lose yourself, lose your family, lose the respect of your loved ones, lose your health and perhaps even your life. Is secret sex on the side worth it all? From my point of view, it’s definitely not worth it! If you want to better understand yourself and your risks, I advise you to read my book, which was originally addressed to a female audience, but has already received a lot of positive feedback from men: “If your husband cheated or left, and you want to return him back to the family.” I'm sure it will definitely be useful for you!
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What is an equal relationship between a man and a woman in the modern world?
Russia, one way or another, always lags behind developed countries. We have always fought for life in wars, then spent many years recovering. Apparently this fear is still strong in our blood and genes, but be that as it may, global progress still moves all of humanity and it is necessary to develop, as well as transform in the development of personal relationships and professional fulfillment, otherwise the system will press and oppress. The best, but also the most difficult way is to take and immediately take responsibility for your own life and act in a timely manner. Believe me, this habit instilled today will greatly simplify your life in the future.
Because it is much easier to pump up the muscle called “Responsibility for your life” once and live a full and meaningful life than to end up faced with the fact that the system has driven you into a corner, and there is no strength to correct the situation for the better, There is no pumped up muscle called “Responsibility for your life.” Yes, you can calmly cherish for years the idea that a man should solve all your problems, financial and legal and much more. But, think about it - what can you, as a woman, give in return to such a companion when the “X” day comes and you actually meet the man of your dreams? Are you catching a chip?
You also need to be someone, and not just someone who only knows how to absorb resources with the help of men, but also someone who is able to earn these resources on their own. Therefore, I recommend that in the process of creating your dream of a happy future, marriage and family, you should also engage in independent development. From my own experience, I can say that you will never be attracted to male lovers if you yourself are a developed and self-sufficient person.
And even more, this type of man runs a very big risk by falling into the field of such a woman. Because we cannot fall in love with something that is not in ourselves. And over time, as you develop on your own, you will attract worthy and interesting men into your field, including friends. Since there are indeed situations when a person is good and his belief system is correct - but he is not physically suitable for you, sexual compatibility also matters, but as a friend and a person - such a man can be respected, but time will tell.
