Adaptation in kindergarten - how to help your child adapt to kindergarten?

One of the main psychological and pedagogical processes that are recommended for the full upbringing of a little person, his development and preparation for adulthood, is visiting a kindergarten. Here he learns to communicate with a wide circle of peers and adults, learns the basics of independence and organization, and develops skills in various types of activities (playing, educational, cognitive).

Entering kindergarten means a change in routine and rules of behavior, a different style of communication. From a close circle of close people and home environment, he finds himself in a completely different world, full of unfamiliar faces and objects. And the main thing is the long absence of parents nearby.

Some children easily overcome changes, but for most it is fear, tears, and worries. How to change your baby’s routine as painlessly as possible? How can I help him overcome this stress?

In the previous article, we tried to answer the question of whether a child needs a kindergarten, weighed all the pros and cons and considered possible alternatives. In this material we will figure out how parents can help their child adapt to kindergarten.

What does the process of adaptation to kindergarten include?

The process of adapting to certain conditions is called adaptation. Every person goes through it when they find themselves in a new team or environment. When bringing a child to a preschool institution, parents and educators also become involved in the adaptation period. But it’s much easier for adults; their bodies are more stress-resistant.

And the child will have to:

get used to a strict daily routine;
do without the help and support of parents and loved ones;
stay in the company of peers for a long time;
listen and follow the instructions of a stranger;
get used to a new space, leaving your usual comfort zone.

It is also difficult for a child to get used to the fact that the level of personal attention sharply decreases.

It is quite natural that drastic changes in the life of a little person cause neurotic reactions. They are expressed in tears and hysterics, refusal to eat, whims, frequent illnesses, etc.

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Three degrees of adaptation to kindergarten.

Almost all parents sooner or later face a situation where their grown-up children are forced to get acquainted with kindergarten. At this moment, adult family members face many questions, for example, how adaptation will take place in kindergarten, at what age should they send their child to a preschool educational institution, and how to speed up adaptation to changed requirements and conditions.

Such doubts and anxieties are absolutely natural, since for several years a preschool institution will become, if not a second home for a child, then an essential part of his life. In addition, the psychological and physical health of children often depends on the success of adaptation.

That is why the question of how to help a child adapt to the kindergarten team should concern parents even before the doors of the preschool educational institution hospitably open to new students. We suggest studying the main problems that may arise for mothers and fathers, as well as the main ways to solve them.

What is adaptation?

In general terms, this process is understood as the individual’s adaptation to a new environment and conditions. Such changes have an impact on the psyche of any person, including children who are forced to adapt to the garden.

You should understand in more detail what adaptation to kindergarten is. First of all, it requires enormous energy expenditure from the child, as a result of which the child’s body is overstrained. In addition, one cannot discount the changed living conditions, namely:

Moms and dads and other relatives are absent nearby;
it is necessary to maintain a clear daily routine;
need to interact with other children;
the amount of time devoted to a particular child decreases (the teacher communicates with 15 - 20 kids at the same time);
the baby is forced to obey the demands of other people's adults.

So, the baby’s life changes radically. In addition, the adaptation process is often fraught with undesirable changes in the child’s body, which are expressed externally in the form of violated behavioral norms and “bad” actions.

The stressful state in which the child is trying to adapt to changed conditions is expressed by the following states:

disturbed sleep - the child wakes up with tears and refuses to fall asleep;
decreased appetite (or its complete absence) – the child does not want to try unfamiliar dishes;
regression of psychological skills - a child who previously spoke, knew how to dress, use cutlery, go to the potty, “loses” such skills;
decreased cognitive interest - children are not interested in new play equipment and peers;
aggression or apathy - active children suddenly reduce their activity, and previously calm children show aggressiveness;
decreased immunity - during the period of adaptation of a small child to kindergarten, resistance to infectious diseases decreases.

Thus, the adaptation process is a complex phenomenon, during which the child’s behavior can change dramatically. As you get used to the kindergarten, such problems disappear or are significantly smoothed out.

Degrees of adaptation

The process of adaptation of a child in kindergarten can proceed in different ways. Some children quickly get used to the changed environment, while others worry their parents for a long time with negative behavioral reactions. It is by the severity and duration of the above problems that the success of the adaptation process is judged.

Psychologists distinguish several degrees of the adaptation process that are characteristic of preschool-aged children.

Easy adaptation

In this case, the baby joins the children's team in 2 - 4 weeks. This type of adaptation is typical for most children and is characterized by the accelerated disappearance of negative behavioral reactions. You can judge that a child easily gets used to kindergarten by the following features:

he comes in without tears or hysterics and remains in the group room;
when speaking, looks teachers in the eye;
able to voice a request for help;
is the first to make contact with peers;
able to occupy himself for a short period of time;
easily adapts to daily routine;
responds adequately to educational approval or disapproval remarks;
tells parents how classes went in the garden.

Moderate addiction

How long does the adaptation period in kindergarten last in this case? At least 1.5 months. At the same time, the child often gets sick and demonstrates pronounced negative reactions, but it is impossible to talk about his maladaptation and inability to join the team.

When observing a child, it can be noted that he:

has difficulty parting with his mother, cries a little after separation;
when distracted, forgets about the separation and joins the game;
communicates with peers and teacher;
adheres to the stated rules and routines;
responds adequately to comments;
rarely becomes the instigator of conflict situations.

Difficult adaptation

Children with a severe type of adaptation process are quite rare, but they can easily be found in a children's group. Some of them show open aggression when visiting kindergarten, while others withdraw into themselves, demonstrating complete detachment from what is happening. The duration of addiction can range from 2 months to several years. In especially severe cases, they talk about complete maladaptation and the impossibility of attending a preschool institution.

The main characteristics of a child with a severe degree of adaptation:

reluctance to communicate with peers and adults;
tears, hysterics, stupor when parting with parents for a long time;
refusal to enter the playing area from the locker room;
reluctance to play, eat, or go to bed;
aggressiveness or isolation;
inadequate response to the teacher’s address to him (tears or fear).

It should be understood that absolute inability to fit into kindergarten is an extremely rare phenomenon, so it is necessary to contact specialists (psychologist, neurologist, pediatrician) and jointly develop an action plan. In some cases, doctors may advise you to postpone visiting a preschool educational institution.

What influences a child’s adaptation?

So, the period of adaptation of children in kindergarten always proceeds differently. But what influences its success? Experts include age characteristics, child health, degree of socialization, level of cognitive development, etc. among the most important factors.

Child's age

Often, parents, trying to get to work early, send their child to kindergarten at two years old, or even earlier. However, most often such a step does not bring much benefit, since a young child is not yet able to interact with peers.

Of course, every child is a bright individual, however, according to many psychologists, it is possible to identify an optimal age period that is most suitable for getting used to kindergarten - and this is 3 years.

It's all about the so-called crisis period of three years. As soon as the baby passes this stage, his level of independence increases, his psychological dependence on his mother decreases, therefore, it is much easier for him to part with her for a few hours.

Why shouldn’t you rush to send your child to preschool? At the age of 1 - 3 years, the formation of child-parent relationships and attachment to the mother occurs. That is why prolonged separation from the latter causes a nervous breakdown in the baby and violates basic trust in the world.

In addition, one cannot help but note the greater independence of three-year-olds: they, as a rule, have potty etiquette, know how to drink from a cup, and some children are already trying to dress themselves. Such skills make it much easier to get used to the garden.

Health status

Children with serious chronic diseases (asthma, diabetes, etc.) quite often experience difficulty adjusting due to the characteristics of the body and the increased psychological connection with their parents.

The same applies to children who are often sick for a long time. Such babies require special conditions, reduced loads and supervision of medical personnel. That’s why experts recommend sending them to kindergarten later, especially since the pain will disrupt their preschool attendance schedule.

The main problems of adaptation of sick children in a nursery group:

an even greater decrease in immunity;
increased susceptibility to infections;
increased emotional lability (periods of tearfulness, exhaustion);
the occurrence of unusual aggressiveness, increased activity or, conversely, slowness.

Before entering a preschool institution, children are required to undergo a medical examination. There is no need to be afraid of this; on the contrary, parents will have the opportunity to once again consult with doctors about how to survive the adaptation with minimal losses.

Degree of psychological development

Another point that can prevent successful adaptation to preschool education is a deviation from the average indicators of cognitive development. Moreover, both delayed mental development and giftedness can lead to maladjustment.

In case of delayed mental development, special correctional programs are used to help fill gaps in knowledge and increase the cognitive activity of children. Under favorable conditions, such children catch up with their peers by school age.

A gifted child, surprisingly, also falls into the risk group, since his cognitive abilities are higher than those of his peers, and he may also experience difficulties with socialization and communication with classmates.

Level of socialization

A child’s adaptation to kindergarten involves increased contacts with peers and with unfamiliar adults. At the same time, there is a certain pattern - those kids whose social circle was not limited to their parents and grandmothers are more likely to get used to the new society.

Those children who rarely interacted with other children, on the contrary, find it difficult to adapt to changed conditions. Poor communication skills and the inability to resolve conflict situations cause an increase in anxiety and lead to reluctance to attend kindergarten.

Of course, this factor largely depends on the teachers. If the teacher gets along well with the child, adaptation will noticeably speed up. That is why, if possible, you should enroll in a group with the teacher whose reviews are most often positive.

Stages of adaptation of a small child to kindergarten

Adaptation of children is a heterogeneous process, so experts identify several periods characterized by the severity of negative reactions. Of course, such a division is rather arbitrary, but it helps to understand how successful the addiction will be.

The first stage is also acute. Its main feature is maximum mobilization of the child’s body. The child is constantly excited and tense; it is not surprising that parents and teachers note tearfulness, nervousness, capriciousness and even hysteria.

In addition to psychological changes, physiological changes can also be detected. In some cases, there is an increase or decrease in heart rate and blood pressure. Increased susceptibility to infections.

The second phase is called moderately acute, since the severity of negative reactions decreases, and the child adapts to the changed conditions. There is a decrease in the baby’s excitability and nervousness, improved appetite, sleep, and normalization of the psycho-emotional sphere.

However, it is not yet possible to talk about complete stabilization of the condition. Throughout this period, negative emotions may return, and undesirable reactions may appear in the form of hysterics, tearfulness, or reluctance to part with parents.

The third stage – compensated – stabilizes the child’s condition. In the final adaptation period, complete restoration of psychophysiological reactions occurs, and the child successfully joins the team. Moreover, he can acquire new skills - for example, using a potty or dressing himself.

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Stages of adaptation

The adaptation period can be divided into three conditional phases:

preparatory;
key;
final.

Parents should approach each of them with full responsibility.

Preparatory stage

First of all, it is necessary to gradually expand the baby’s social circle. Maintain the positive emotions gained from playing together with other children. Try to tell about the children's institution in advance, show its future garden, paying attention to the bright pavilions, beautiful playgrounds, and peers playing happily.

Having previously agreed with the kindergarten staff, you can take a tour. It wouldn’t hurt to have a casual acquaintance with the future teacher and children. It is also worth showing your child what his peers are doing in kindergarten.

Before visiting the preschool, the child must be taught basic actions:

go to the toilet;
eat independently;
wash your hands, wash your face, brush your teeth.

At least two months in advance, try to adjust the baby’s routine, adapting it as much as possible to the daily routine in kindergarten. That is, getting up, breakfast, walking, etc. must be done at the same time. This is especially true for daytime sleep. Weekends should also take place according to the specified schedule.

Key and final stages

And then the important day came. Let him be positive from the very morning. It is important not to leave the child for too long! The maximum time spent in the garden is from 1 to 3 hours. In some cases, the mother can stay with her baby, take part in games, and help fulfill the requests and instructions of the teacher. But gradually the child should be brought to the conclusion that he will not stay with the children and the teacher for long.

The duration of the main stage of adaptation varies in each specific case. Most often, this is two weeks.

Next, it is recommended to leave the baby in the garden during the daytime nap. If desired, you can extend your stay (afternoon snack, afternoon entertainment, etc.). The more positive emotions a child receives at this stage, the faster he will get used to it and will happily remain in the new team.

Upon completion of the adaptation process, the child:

calmly goes to kindergarten;
interacts well with the teacher and peers;
navigates his group;
actively plays and studies;
eats well and sleeps.

That is, the emotional and physical state of the child is completely normalized.

It is possible to judge the child’s complete adaptation to the new environment of communication and stay only after several months. This is especially true for younger preschoolers, since due to frequent illnesses inherent in this age, the baby has to go through the process of adaptation again and again.

Adaptation period

There are several degrees of child adaptation in kindergarten.

Mild degree

Usually lasts up to a week. This is a fairly short period, characterized by the baby’s poor sleep, loss of appetite, and reluctance to play with other babies. Gradually everything returns to normal, complete adaptation to the new conditions begins. By the end of the first week, appetite returns to its previous level, and sleep patterns take a little longer to recover. Speech inhibition may occur. Usually this degree of adaptation is not accompanied by sudden illnesses.

Average degree

Lasts from a week to a month. The baby’s emotional state returns to normal more slowly than with a mild form. In the first month, illnesses begin to appear: usually in the form of acute respiratory infections. The disease lasts about a week and ends without complications. It takes a month or a little more to restore your appetite. The emotional background is unstable, the mood often changes. During the day there is tearfulness. In relationships with close people, the child is emotionally excited: when parting and meeting, he cries or screams. The attitude towards peers is often indifferent, but they can also show interest. Speech activity slows down.

Characteristic external manifestations:

red cheeks or paleness;
dark circles under the eyes;
sweating;
diathesis.

These symptoms last for about 2 weeks. Feeling the emotional support of a loved one, the child begins to show cognitive activity and adapts faster.

Severe degree

The most difficult degree of adaptation of a child is in kindergarten, lasting 1-2 months (or more). The baby's emotional state is recovering very slowly. A preschooler can suffer from several diseases that come with complications.

Severe degree is characterized by persistent behavioral disturbances:

Sleep is intermittent, restless.
The baby may wake up crying or scream in his sleep.
Appetite practically disappears - sometimes to the point of refusing to eat.
Neurotic vomiting is possible.

The child consciously and unconsciously tries to get out of the situation, and all his emotions are directed towards this: screaming, crying, aggression. An active motor process or lack of activity may be observed with obvious negative emotions (depression, passive submission, quiet crying, tension). The child tries to avoid his peers and may become aggressive. Refuses to play games.

Degrees of adaptation to kindergarten

In order for parents to be patient and calmly accept the period of their child’s adaptation to kindergarten, it should be noted that adaptation can take place in:

mild degree - from 2 weeks to a month;
medium - from 30 days to 2 months;
severe - up to six months.

There are very few children who quickly and easily fit into a new environment. For most children, this process is delayed. The newcomer cries, refuses to perform usual actions, eat food, constantly demands attention, etc. This can be repeated for a very long period. Only the joint work of parents and educators will help both children and adults survive this difficult period.

Types of addiction

Easy adaptation

On average, a child gets used to a new place and team in 2-4 weeks. This, fortunately, is typical for most children. Adaptation proceeds quickly, negative reactions pass quickly and painlessly. You can understand that a child has adapted to new conditions by the following signs:

he no longer cries when he enters the group in the morning and calmly stays with the teacher.
When talking to adults, looks into the eyes.
can ask for anything quite clearly.
shows initiative in communicating with peers.
calmly invents games for himself and can occupy himself for some period of time.
without hysterics, he adapts and accepts the new routine and routine of the kindergarten.
Reacts to the teacher’s requests calmly and understandingly, adequately accepting criticism or praise.
shares with parents what is happening in kindergarten, her new friends and activities.

Moderate adaptation

In this case, addiction lasts at least a month and a half, possibly longer. At this time, the child may get sick very often, demonstrate all sorts of negative reactions, behave aggressively or, conversely, withdraw and cry a lot.

Nevertheless, it is impossible to say that the child is unable to join the team. Such adaptation is determined by the following nuances:

cries in the morning, parting with her mother.
is distracted by the game and is able to forget about the separation.
communicates and maintains relationships with peers and the teacher.
observes and adheres to new rules and routines.
Reacts calmly and adequately to the teacher’s comments.
very rarely becomes the instigator or initiator of conflicts or fights.

Difficult adaptation

Such children are much less common and can be very easily distinguished from their peers. They are characterized by open aggression or the other extreme, isolation, detachment, and withdrawal. Severe adaptation can last from 2 months to several years.

There are children with complete maladaptation and the inability to attend child care institutions. Main behavioral types:

hysterics, tears and screams when parting with parents, which do not go away for a long time.
complete refusal to join children’s groups.
absolute ignorance and unwillingness to communicate with either peers or adults.
reluctance and refusal of new rules and routines, refusal of food, games, sleep and other things.
any extreme, in the form of aggression or isolation.
an acute reaction to the teacher’s comments, manifested in the form of tears, hysteria or fear, fright.

Important! If complete maladaptation and unadaptability to kindergarten is identified, you should understand that this phenomenon is quite rare, and you need to contact a child psychologist and neurologist.

Together with specialists, think through your further actions. There are times when it is better to wait with any preschool institutions.

What influences a child’s adaptation to kindergarten?

Factors that influence the process of a child’s adaptation to a preschool institution include:

his age;
general physical development and health status;
presence or absence of basic self-care skills;
correspondence between the home regime and the daily routine of the preschool institution;
level of contact and sociability;
development of gaming activities.

Children who are not used to:

regime;
performing basic hygiene procedures;
independent play with toys;
interaction with peers and unfamiliar people.

In addition, the baby may have peculiar habits that negatively affect his development. Adaptation is very difficult if the child is too attached to his mother.

The influence of various factors on adaptation

How long it will take a child to get used to a child care facility is influenced by many factors. Let's look at the main ones.

Child's age

The situation is such that many mothers strive to send their children to kindergarten as soon as possible and go back to work after maternity leave. Therefore, recently the need for nurseries has increased, starting to accept children from one and a half years old, which not every preschool institution has.

Most experts believe that the younger the child, the more difficult his adaptation period is, since the immune system has not yet strengthened and the need for parental care and attention has increased.

Therefore, the optimal age for starting kindergarten life is considered to be 2.5 - 3 years. And pediatricians insist that parents send their children to kindergarten no earlier than three years of age.

Read detailed material with expert opinions on this topic – Is it time to go to kindergarten? When is the best time to give up a child and what does a parent need to know?

Health status

As we have already said, children with limited health capabilities or private colds and chronic diseases have a hard time getting used to kindergarten.

Therefore, parents should postpone kindergarten and wait until the child’s body can adapt to preschool without serious consequences.

Level of development of skills and abilities

By the beginning of kindergarten life, children should have all the necessary skills and abilities: go to the potty, hold a spoon, drink from a cup, partially dress and undress themselves, and also be able to ask an adult for help.

If parents are used to doing everything for the child, it will be difficult for him to get used to independence. Accordingly, his adaptation period may be prolonged.

Level of socialization

In kindergarten, the child will have contact with a large number of children and adults. It’s good if he already has such communication experience. Otherwise, it will be very difficult for a child who is accustomed to seeing only his mother and father next to him to get used to the children's team and teachers.

How to get your child to talk if you suspect that he is being bullied or beaten in kindergarten?

Also, the duration of adaptation depends on the personality of the teacher to whom the child is assigned, the number of children in the group, the characteristics of the child’s nervous system and the atmosphere in the family.

At what age is it better to send a child to kindergarten?

Often this problem is solved depending on the prevailing circumstances. If mom needs to go to work, then the question disappears by itself. Your maternity leave is coming to an end - you need to think about childcare. That is, this is a period from one and a half to 3 years.

It is worth remembering that the baby must be given time to adapt, that is, the process of adaptation should begin one and a half to two months before the mother goes to work.

If we approach the issue from a psychological point of view, then the optimal period for getting used to the children's group is after 3 years. It is during this period that children develop a strong interest in peers, playing together, and communicating with them. Moreover, children of this age, as a rule, have basic self-care skills and can control the physiological needs of the body.

In order not to cause serious psychological trauma to the child, it is better not to start accustoming the child to kindergarten during the period of any changes in the family (moving, the appearance of a younger child, divorce).

The best age to send your child to kindergarten

Most psychologists believe that the optimal age for getting used to kindergarten is 3 years.

The thing is that by the age of three, the child approaches the “3-year crisis” - a period when the level of independence is activated, now the baby declares that he wants to do everything himself, and most importantly, psychological dependence and connection with his mother decreases.

Now the child slowly, but often unconsciously, begins to understand his isolation. He is no longer one with his mother, but a separate person. This means that parting with her will no longer cause such pain, and the fear will not be as enormous as, for example, at a year and a half.

Also, there is no need to rush because at the age of 1-3 years, a child-parent relationship is established, and an attachment to the mother is formed. This is necessary for the correct establishment of family ties. Therefore, a long separation from mom can even cause a nervous breakdown and destroy basic trust in the world as a whole.

In addition, it is worth noting that at the age of 3 years, the child is much more independent in everyday life. He is already familiar with the toilet, knows how to use cutlery, and some can already dress and undress quite well, albeit a little awkwardly.

Adaptation in a nursery

Sending a 3-4 year old child to kindergarten is very difficult and exciting - the whole family is worried. But sending a baby a year or two to a nursery is even more difficult, a thousand times more difficult. Because before this, mother and child most likely were not separated for more than a few hours.

No matter how difficult this decision may be, most often it is due to serious life circumstances, such as an urgent return to work, financial difficulties, emotional burnout, maternal depression or other situations.

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test for postpartum depression

You need to start preparing in advance, preferably a couple or three months in advance. First of all, you need to start with your mother.

It’s simple, at the age of one or one and a half, a child absolutely does not need either a group of children or urgent socialization, he does not at all strive to be with his peers, he only needs his mother. Therefore, first you need to firmly understand the fact that kindergarten is needed by the mother, not the child.

But you shouldn’t make a terrible tragedy out of this, blame yourself for betrayal and then suffer from it: situations are different and sometimes a nursery is the only way out.

Mom needs to be calm, confident and balanced. To do this, you can perform a simple task. Take a piece of paper with a pen and write down all the pros and cons of sending your child to a nursery. It is quite possible that in this way you will make the right decision, having weighed and considered everything.

A mother should radiate calm and confidence in her decision, and not torment herself, her family and, most importantly, the child with doubts.

The following actions are aimed at preparing the child. It is worth finishing breastfeeding or leaving it only at night.

Then you need to tackle one of the most important organizational issues: choosing a kindergarten and a teacher. It is important to understand that a competent, educated and loving teacher is the best thing you can do for your small and defenseless child. A teacher by vocation is your goal.

Read reviews about the gardens and their workers, go to meet them, talk, discuss all the important points that interest you, from the daily routine, menu, education, to means of communication. It will be great if you manage to go on a trial day with your baby, make sure that the environment, teachers and everything else suits you.

Next, be patient, adaptation is different for all children, where one will get used to it in a week, the second may take three months to get used to it, be patient.

In this case, the best advice is that it says that mom needs to go to work a little later, in a couple of months, when the picture of getting used to the garden will be more or less clear. And if your child is sick or unwell, you can stay at home with him without depriving him of your love and care.

Ideally, it would be to arrange a soft adaptation, that is, you spend the first day with the child in a group, fully participating and watching what is happening, then you can sit on the sidelines and just watch, and the baby will see you and seek help if necessary.

Next, try going out the door, and gradually increase the time you are away. Well, the teacher must monitor this process; it is she who will have to win the trust and affection of her little friend.

In your free time from the garden, try to pay attention to your child, spending quality weekends without being distracted by gadgets and other things, and set aside at least a few hours a day for playing together. And finally, you can come up with your own farewell rituals, for example, the famous “palm” or “pocket” kiss, which will remind you of your love all day.

Psychologist's advice Kiss in the pocket - when saying goodbye to your baby, you send a lot of air kisses into his pocket, and tell him that if he gets bored, uncomfortable or sad, he can always “get” one of your kisses from his pocket and cheer himself up.

Adaptation at 2 years

At 2 years old, a child’s adaptation to kindergarten is even more difficult and acute. There are enough reasons for this.

Firstly, children at this age perceive separation from their mother, new acquaintances and a change of environment with fear and distrust.
Secondly, the baby does not yet know how to take care of himself, most often he does not yet know how to eat himself, the skills of rules and methods of hygiene, culture are still very poorly developed, and accordingly, in a group where independence is encouraged, it will be difficult for him.
Thirdly, many children do not speak very well yet, they cannot formulate their thoughts, and, therefore, it will be difficult for them to ask for help or complain to you if something goes wrong.

Children at 2 years old also do not yet need to communicate with peers, and interaction with their mother and close relatives is quite enough for him. Strong attachment to the mother does not allow relaxation and the baby experiences constant tension and stress.

It is also important that the regime and daily routine in kindergarten are often very different from those at home, and this is another stress for a small organism.

A noticeable decrease in attention to the child also affects, because now there is only one teacher for 15-20 children and it is unrealistic to devote time to everyone.

Well, without diseases, infections and other things, few people have undergone adaptation. The child gets sick a lot, and this also complicates the process of getting used to it, since visits are irregular.

Everyone gets used to new conditions differently. It happens that a child enters the group calmly and without tears, however, then after a while he begins to cry and worry. At home, parents may notice the same changes and disturbances, in the form of poor sleep or appetite, apathy or aggression, decreased interest in new things, and, of course, frequent colds and viral diseases.

There is an opinion that the sooner you send your child to kindergarten, the easier and faster he will get used to and adapt to new conditions. However, there are many objections here. At the age of 2 years, the child is still not independent and often does not even know how to talk, as a result of which the fear and anxiety experienced may not even be noticed or understood by the parents, which subsequently leads to not the best situations, the baby may become withdrawn, and the consequences of stress may have consequences in the distant future.

Adaptation at 3 years

It should be repeated that, according to psychologists, this age is ideal for adaptation to children's institutions. By the age of three, your little child gradually begins to turn into a separate personality, independent, protesting, denying and contradicting. Character and temperament emerge, he begins to defend his “I”.

At this age, as a rule, the walls of one’s home and beloved mother are no longer enough. There is a need for a team, communication with peers, joint games and a desire to learn and learn everything new. Knowledge about the world increases and is enriched, and contacts with children of a similar age and development bring pleasure and joy.

Experience of interacting with different people is gained, the child learns to build relationships, get out of conflicts, and a personality is formed. This person simply craves communication, asks his parents to play various games, read fairy tales, and so on. It is at this stage that preparation for public life begins.

It is worth noting that even at the age of 3, adaptation can take place differently; some children will calmly fall asleep and have dinner in a group within a week, while others will tearfully beg their mother not to go to kindergarten.

However, during this period, in front of you is no longer a baby, but a completely independent person, and therefore the addiction will take place with less psychological stress and consequences.

How to help your child adapt to kindergarten?

Most parents are very worried about leaving their child in preschool. This is quite normal, because the baby remains with unfamiliar people, in an unfamiliar environment. The emotional state of adults is very important for children. Therefore, you need to remain calm and try to help your baby overcome such a difficult period.

Useful skills for a kindergartener

To make it easier for a little person to join the kindergarten “family,” he must be prepared for this in advance. That is, parents should try to teach him:

simple self-care skills (using the potty or toilet, washing hands and face, dressing/undressing, eating with a spoon): if you have to send your child to kindergarten too early, try to instill in him the desire to perform all these actions independently and freely ask for help;
stay without mom (let the baby spend a couple of hours with dad, grandmother, nanny, otherwise it will be very difficult for him to part with her even for an hour);
play with toys, find interesting entertainment (putting blocks together, playing with a car, etc.);
interact with other people (share, ask, contact adults and children).

Today there are early development groups that can be the first step to kindergarten.

Conversations with your child about kindergarten

At the stage of preparation for kindergarten, you need to talk about this unobtrusively with your child, arousing interest and a desire to join peers. Conversations should not only be introductory and narrative in nature. The older the child, the more often he should ask leading questions and encourage him to express his own opinion.

Gradual, purposeful walks in the direction of the child care facility, accompanied by stories from the parents and the baby’s reasoning, will help you quickly get used to the idea of joining your peers, playing with them, etc.

To avoid serious problems and a long period of adaptation, it is necessary to configure the child exclusively in a positive way.

If your child asks questions, be sure to answer, drawing as accurately as possible the possible development of the situation. Don't lie or promise something you can't deliver.

Do not forget that in kindergarten the child will have to move more independently. Therefore, it is better to talk about kindergarten while walking, without a stroller, sled, etc.

The purpose of conversations between parents and their child before going to kindergarten is to instill confidence that the new space and the people around will not harm him, will become a “second home” and a friendly team in which it is fun to play and learn new knowledge and skills.

No tears to kindergarten. Advice and recommendations from psychologists

How to help your child get used to it faster

First of all, carefully choose an institution, talk with teachers, read reviews, etc. Be confident in your choice. This is the first and important step to simplify adaptation, since a kind and sympathetic teacher is already half the battle.
Start adaptation by changing the regime. Adjust the schedule and daily routine of your child, close to the regime in the garden, this will make it much easier to get used to and will not cause such a shock to the child’s psyche. For example, if you are used to sleeping in the morning until 10-11, then about a month or two in advance you should gradually get up and go to bed earlier in the evening, otherwise you are guaranteed to have morning tantrums due to lack of sleep.
The same goes for nutrition. If your diet is significantly different from the menu in the garden, try to at least get a little closer to it. Many children refuse to eat in kindergarten - this makes it very difficult to get used to it.
Tell your child about the garden, what it is and why it is needed. When passing by the garden, show this place. Explain that there will be other children there, and the parents will be working at this time. Stick to the golden mean, don’t embellish this establishment or criticize it, speak completely honestly and clearly.
From the first days of adaptation, be confident in your decision and calm, maintain balance. This way you convey to your child an understanding of the importance of visiting this establishment and peace of mind. Let him know that everything will be fine. A lot will depend on your emotional background. Bring your child to kindergarten with a smile, talk about good and positive things along the way.
Start getting used to it for a few hours, gradually increasing the time spent.
There is an opinion that if a child is taken to the garden by his father or another relative in the morning, then the process of separation will be much easier and calmer than with his mother, since men, for example, are more restrained in showing emotions.
Before kindergarten, try to teach your child to eat, drink, ask to go to the potty, take off clothes, and ask for help. These skills will make getting used to it much easier, since now the attention to everyone in the group will be limited, the teacher will not physically have time to devote quality time to all the children.
On weekends and in the evenings, spend time with your child, be sincerely interested in his successes and activities, new friends and classmates. Don't let him feel abandoned and alone.
Give him some toy from home with you. Having a “piece of home” with you, the child will feel calmer.

Advice from a psychologist You can “assign” one of the toys to be on duty in the kindergarten. She will always accompany the child to the garden, “make sure” that everything is fine and in the evening “tell” you about how the day went. To do this, talk to the toy, and the baby will answer for it. So you can do a lot of things that the child himself would not tell you.

What not to do

Under no circumstances should you run away or disappear when bringing your child to the group. This way, you risk causing a strong fear that mom has disappeared, and this, in turn, can even provoke neurosis in the little man. Don't be fooled by the fact that you'll be back in a couple of minutes. The child will remember and wait, but you won’t come, and then again there’s fear: what if mom doesn’t come back at all?
Be sure to inform and assure that you will return in the evening and will not leave your child in the garden, say when you come for him.
Patience and calmness. There will be tears and hysterics. Keep your balance. It is strictly forbidden to punish or yell at a child during the adaptation period. This will only make the situation worse.
Avoid the other extreme. Don’t delay goodbyes in the morning; excessive care and worries will also negatively affect addiction. This is especially true for parents who, after the first screams and tears, immediately return to the garden and take theirs back home.
Never threaten or scare the kindergarten. Never threaten that you will leave your child there and not come for him. So you yourself will create the impression of the garden as the most terrible place, a place of punishment.
Moreover, in the presence of children, never say bad things about the teachers or the kindergarten itself, even if they deserve it. In this case, it is better to protect your child, transfer him to another nursery, and not instill in him a feeling of learned helplessness
Do not bribe or accustom your child to gifts or surprises for simply going to kindergarten. So you will doom yourself to endless blackmail, as soon as the baby understands what’s what. You can praise for certain successes and completed tasks in the garden.

Program for gradual adaptation to kindergarten

Parents must understand how difficult it is for a child to readjust, break away from the usual way of life and step into a new life. Their task is to make this period easier for their child, thereby protecting themselves from unnecessary worries and troubles. 2-3 months in advance, moms and dads should begin actively preparing for kindergarten.

At the preparatory stage

In addition to the above points about preliminary work with children (maximum adaptation to the kindergarten regime, instilling the necessary skills and abilities, conversations, etc.), parents should:

establish close contact with the staff of the child care institution;
maintain calm, even relationships at home;
show attention, care, and patience to the baby;
do not overload it with a large amount of new information.

Tell the teacher in advance about your child's habits and preferences. Try to deal wisely with your own experiences and fears. And, under no circumstances, do not show them to your child. No negative statements or discussions in front of him.

In the process of adaptation

The transition to the main (key) stage of adaptation, stress for everyone! The child is experiencing separation from family, getting used to new surroundings and people, etc. Parents fear for the child’s health and the attitude of other children and adults towards him. The teacher also endures certain shocks with each new child (he tries to quickly gain the trust of the child and his parents, and ensure comfort for the other children in the group). That is, it turns out to be one vicious circle.

Therefore, a holistic approach, mutual trust and mutual assistance are very important. Parents should listen to the advice of teachers and respond to their requests.

Recommended:

do not delay the time of separation;
come up with a motivation for a quick goodbye (help the nanny set the table, etc.);
increase your time in the garden gradually;
do not take unnecessary breaks from visiting a child care facility;
do not leave for a long time (no more than 8 hours);
think through the actions that precede parting (kiss, waving, etc.) and repeat them daily;
always keep your promise (they said you’ll pick me up before bed - this is unconditional);
Give your child a homemade toy or a photograph of his mother.

If it’s really hard for the little one to part with his mother, it’s better to let one of the family members take him to the garden. Try to clarify any questions or situations that arise immediately. No negativity around the baby!

What is adaptation?

Adaptation is the ability to adapt to new conditions, environment, and social circle. Even for an adult, a sudden change in their usual way of life is stressful, but for a little person, with a still fragile psyche, it can become a difficult ordeal.

The child will require enormous energy expenditure and the small body will be overexerted. There are many reasons:

First of all, your beloved mom and dad will no longer be around.
A completely unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar adults.
New rules and daily routine.
The need to submit to strange adults.
The need to interact with other children.
Lack of attention on the part of an adult, that is, a teacher, who is torn alone for 15-25 children.

As a result of these changes, the baby's life will change radically. This stressful state in which the child will be may begin to be expressed in behavior, namely in violation of rules and norms, “bad” actions, and you may also notice:

Sleep disturbances, insomnia or a sharp awakening in the middle of the night screaming, terrible dreams are possible in which the child is alone or someone offends him, against this background he may suddenly wake up in tears.
Problems with appetite, decreased or even absent. In most cases, the “garden” menu is very different from the home menu, so it is quite possible that the child may refuse to eat new, unfamiliar dishes.
Regression of skills and abilities. A baby who has long been able to go to the potty, talk and feed himself suddenly loses this skill.
Disappearance or decreased interest in learning new information. The child is not interested in toys or peers in the group. This is normal - the psyche in stress strives for peace, everything new only aggravates stress, therefore, at the adaptation stage, the child may refuse cognitive activity.
Unusual behavior. An active, cheerful and sociable baby can withdraw into himself, and a calm child suddenly begins to show aggression and anger towards others.

Adaptation is a very difficult period, some children begin to behave unrecognizably, others refuse to go to kindergarten and shed tears, others calmly enter the group and forget about their mother. Behavior may simply change dramatically, but over time, these and similar problems most often disappear or become less noticeable and sensitive.

The success of the adaptation process is judged by the above problems, more precisely, by their number and time of completion. Based on these data, psychologists identify several types of adaptation.

How to reduce stress for a child?

The biggest experience and stress for a baby is separation from his mother and fears.

With the correct behavior of parents during the preparation of the child for kindergarten, the level of stress caused by separation is reduced. That is, it is important to teach the child to stay with other family members, occupy himself with a toy while waiting for his mother, etc. This will help overcome the state of confusion in the absence of the closest person.

Fear in a child is caused by:

new environment;
unfamiliar faces;
communication with strangers;
the assumption that he will be forgotten and not taken home.

If the first three causes of fear are eliminated quite quickly and depend mainly on the work of the teacher and the child’s general readiness for kindergarten, then the fourth - on the behavior of the parents. When leaving your baby in kindergarten, immediately agree on the length of his stay. Don't stay late, promising to come before lunch or after a nap. And it doesn’t matter whether he has just recently attended preschool or has already completely settled down.

How parents can help their child during the adaptation period

Parental help can be called fundamental in adaptation.

General recommendations:

Make sure your child acquires simple skills (the ability to use a spoon, ask to go potty, get dressed, communicate with others, use a handkerchief, express requests in words or gestures).
Don't discuss your experiences in front of your child.
Dress your baby according to the season. Shoes and clothing should not create difficulties for him. Choose shoes not with laces, but with Velcro, and clothes with snaps, not buttons.
Study the kindergarten routine in advance. Follow it every day (on weekends too).
Too frequent visits to public organizations (performances, clubs) in combination with many intellectual activities at home can overload the baby’s nervous system.
Often discuss with your preschooler how useful kindergarten is, and how important it is for him to go there (put dolls to bed, water flowers, play with soft toys).
Regularly check the contents of your baby’s pockets to make sure there are no piercing, small or sharp objects in them.
When meeting with the teacher, tell him about the baby’s mood and health. Be interested in how he behaves in kindergarten.
Do not give your child too expensive toys, and if this happens and the baby does not keep track of the thing, do not be too strict with him.
Plan your own schedule so that in the first month of being in kindergarten, the preschooler is not there until the end of the day, and can quickly find himself in familiar home conditions.
Teach your son or daughter to communicate with other people. Go on a visit or visit crowded playgrounds more often.
Only healthy children are allowed to attend kindergarten. Remember about the prevention of acute respiratory viral infections and acute respiratory infections.

If you have come to the conclusion that your child feels the need for contact with familiar adults and is not afraid of strangers, then this is a good sign. If he strives for independence, willingly engages in games, has some self-service skills, is friendly and open, then he is probably ready for kindergarten.

The main mistakes of parents

Many parents make mistakes that interfere with their adaptation to kindergarten. So, let's look at the most common misconceptions:

“The sooner you send your child to a nursery (a year or two), the sooner he adapts

If possible, it is better to abandon the nursery unless there is an urgent need for it. For children under three years of age (some longer), it is important to feel connected to their family and preferably spend most of the day in their home. During this period, his emotional connection with his mother and father is especially strong; it builds self-confidence in the child and provides a sense of security. Also, many physiological and psychological needs can only be “closed” by a mother or father. It has been noticed that children who were at an early age not in a nursery, but with their mother, are more emotionally stable.

Experts involved in preschool development have come to the conclusion that in recent years, preschoolers have often experienced developmental difficulties, so at an early age it is better to be under the supervision and care of their mother. This does not exclude joint attendance at play sessions for early development, which will be the first step towards socialization.

“A three-year-old child can stay in kindergarten all day.”

Kindergartens mainly accept children from the age of three. However, not every 3-year-old preschooler has such readiness, especially when it comes to staying full-time. Some people manage to adapt at three years old, others at four, and still others at five cannot easily tolerate separation from mom or dad. An adapted child goes to kindergarten with desire and says goodbye to his mother without crying or suffering.

Girls manage to get used to new people and routines faster, and this is easier for them at 3-4 years old than for boys, who adapt much more slowly. Boys are more emotionally attached to their parents and have a harder time being separated, even for a few hours. Focus on the baby’s condition and analyze it.

“You need to go to kindergarten in the fall”

More often, children are brought to kindergarten in September, but a more favorable time for adaptation is the end of spring and summer. During this period, the cognitive cycle usually ends, children walk more and do creative work. Daylight hours are becoming longer, brighter and warmer. Waking up in the morning is easier.

Autumn can hardly be called a good time for adaptation. At first, it is important for the baby to observe the slowness of the processes in order to be able to look around and get used to it. It is easier to do this in the summer, when there are fewer children in the kindergarten, and teachers have finished with the main educational programs and devote more time to role-playing games.

Let us note other difficulties that appear in the spring:

The baby gets tired faster and finds it more difficult to concentrate.
There is a decrease in emotional background due to lack of sunlight, gloomy weather, and early sunset.

“In a week you can get used to kindergarten”

For some children this is possible, but not for all. During the first month, it is advisable not to leave the baby all day. One to two weeks is an adjustment period for an emotionally stable child of 5-6 years old or for someone who has already attended kindergarten. Girls manage to get used to it faster, boys usually need at least a month. As already mentioned, for the first week it is advisable for the baby to spend time in the garden before lunch, then until afternoon tea, and only after a month try a full stay.

It happens that the child immediately stays for a full day, without expressing any special signs of anxiety or discomfort, but after 1-2 months mental overstrain begins to appear (obsessive movements, tics, enuresis, loss of appetite, viral diseases). The described factors indicate a high workload that was beyond the strength of a preschooler.

What not to do when separating from a child

There is a list of recommendations that every adult should follow when taking a child to a preschool institution:

A phrase like: “If you don’t listen to me, I’ll take you to kindergarten!” - it's taboo! After all, what is used to scare cannot evoke positive emotions.
If the baby cries when parting, do not scold him or get angry. The best helper here is patience, attention, kind words and actions (hug, kiss, don’t forget to say that you will definitely take it).
Don't promise the impossible. For example, today you go, and tomorrow you stay at home. And, if you promised, be sure to keep your word.
Try not to be the last one to pick up your baby. Especially in the first months of his stay in the garden.
Instead of the listed “don’ts,” praise more often, listen carefully and with interest to his stories about life in the team, about his achievements and failures.

Recommendations for parents on how to make separation from their baby easier

Usually, by the age of three, children quite easily let go of their mothers and other significant adults, since, as we have already noted, at this stage there is a natural desire to be independent, independent of their parents.

And yet there are situations when the baby and mother turn into almost a single organism. Because of this, a child’s adaptation in kindergarten can become significantly more difficult, and the likelihood of complete maladaptation also increases.

Ideally, it is necessary to accustom the baby to parental absence consistently and in advance. And yet, it is possible to reduce the psycho-emotional dependence of children on their mother in a short time. Let's consider basic advice to parents from experienced specialists.

Necessary actions

Try to involve the father and other close relatives in interaction with the child. The more the baby has contact with other adults (and not just the mother), the easier it will be for him to get used to the teacher.
After this, introduce your child to your friends. At first, they play with the baby in the presence of his parents, so that he can feel calm around unfamiliar adults. With an adapted child, it will be easier to leave.
The next stage is going outside. You need to explain to the baby that mom will go to the store while grandma or an aunt she knows tells an interesting fairy tale. In this case, you do not need to ask the child for time off, just let him know.
Consistently teach your child the idea that he needs to be alone in the room. You can prepare lunch while your child plays in the nursery. These rules can then be applied during exercise in the sandbox or on a walk.
Do not call your child shy, beech, roaring, crybaby, ponytail and other unpleasant words. On the contrary, tell him and others as often as possible how communicative, sociable and cheerful he is.

Unnecessary actions

You cannot run away from your child in secret, even if at that moment he is sitting with his grandmother. Having discovered that his mother is missing, he, firstly, will be seriously frightened, and secondly, he will begin to cry and scream the next time his parents try to leave.
It is not recommended to leave a child alone in an apartment, especially if he is characterized by increased anxiety and restlessness. In addition, even in a few minutes, small children are able to find “adventures” even in the safest home.
You should not reward your child with treats and toys because he allows you to go away. If this is practiced, then the child will demand financial rewards literally every day even in kindergarten.

You can come up with some rituals that make breaking up easier. Just don’t turn them into a full-fledged ritual, more reminiscent of a celebration or holiday. This could be a regular kiss, a mutual smile or a handshake.

Parents' mistakes during child adaptation

We must not forget that the child constantly observes the behavior of his parents, their mood, timbre of voice, and facial expressions.

Respect and kindness towards teachers is the key to a child’s positive attitude. If mom is friendly and calm in her communication, then she is a “good aunt,” that is, you can treat her without fear.

Sometimes parents try to run away quickly when the baby is distracted or playing. This cannot be done. It’s easier for him to know that his mother has left and will return soon than to worry about where she has gone and whether she will come at all.

If the baby has some not very good habit (for example, sucking a pacifier), you should not wean it off at the same time as your first trip to kindergarten (do not aggravate the stress). It is better to do this much earlier than the preparatory stage of adaptation to preschool education begins.

You should not stand at the door, leaving the child with the teacher and other children. Children are very sensitive and, sensing the anxiety of adults, they themselves begin to be afraid.

Children's feelings should not be ignored. Notations will only worsen the negative attitude towards the kindergarten. Instead of: “Stop crying, you’re already big...”, etc. It’s better to be understanding, saying that you also miss you and don’t want to leave, but you have obligations (you need to go to work, etc.)

Advice from a psychologist: 6 conversations about kindergarten

Recommendations for parents on how to adapt their children often include advice to talk more with their child about preschool. But how to do this correctly and what should you talk about with your baby to make future adaptation easier?

Explain in as simple a language as possible what a kindergarten is, why children go there, and why it is so important to attend it. The simplest example: “A kindergarten is a big house for kids who eat, play and walk together while their parents work.”
Tell your child that kindergarten is a kind of work for children. That is, mom works as a teacher, doctor, manager, dad works as a military man, programmer, etc., and the baby will “work” as a preschooler, because he has become quite an adult.
Every time you pass by the kindergarten, do not forget to remind that after a while the child will also be able to come here and play with other children. In his presence, you can also tell your interlocutors how proud you are of your newly-made preschooler.
Talk about the daycare routine to relieve fears and uncertainty. The child may not remember everything due to his age, but he will know that after breakfast there will be games, then walks and a short nap.
Don’t forget to talk about who your child can turn to if he suddenly needs water or needs to go to the toilet. In addition, gently clarify that not all requests will be fulfilled instantly, since it is important for educators to keep track of all children at once.
Share your story of attending preschool. Surely you have photographs from matinees, where you recite poems, play with dolls, go home from kindergarten with your parents, etc. A parent's example allows the child to quickly get used to kindergarten.

There is no need to over-praise kindergarten, painting it in completely rosy colors, otherwise the child will be disappointed in the teacher and classmates. At the same time, you cannot scare him with a preschool institution and a teacher who will “show him how to behave well!” Try to maintain a golden mean.

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Stages of addiction

We talked about the degrees and stages of children’s adaptation to kindergarten, but also every baby goes through a period of adjustment. What is important to know about this?

Stage 1 - maladjustment.

No matter how successful the preparatory adaptation is, at first the baby will still be in a state of stress and anxiety. Even the most active and sociable children need time to get used to parting with their parents. Colds appear.

Stage 2 - adaptation.

The child begins to gradually get used to the new regime, other children and adults, and participates in games, although he continues to miss his family and ask if they will take him away. Changeable moods, whims, and refusal to comply with the teacher’s requests may be observed.

Stage 3 - compensation.

At the final stage of adaptation, the baby is already emotionally stable and calmly remains in the garden for the whole day, eats and sleeps well. The child begins to get sick less often.