I like him? — Take this test to find out if you're in love with him

How to recognize falling in love?

If you constantly think about him, then you are in love.

If you can’t understand what feelings you have for a young man, answer which of these signs of falling in love you have!

1. You think about him constantly. He seems to have filled all your thoughts. You think about him while studying, while cleaning, and even in your sleep.
2. You feel shy in his company. When communicating with him, you get very lost, often say “Well...”, “Mmm...”, and smile stupidly.
3. You are worried about your appearance. Before you go on a date with him, you stand in front of the mirror for about an hour, trying to perfect your image.
4. You think too much. When communicating with other guys, you often joke and hardly think about what you say. When you communicate with him, your thoughts are confused, and you think a hundred times about what to say.
5. Jealousy. If you see a girl in his company, you automatically begin to hate her.
6. You remember every word. After communicating with him, you remember every word he said.
7. Touching. From one of his light touches, your heart begins to beat at a crazy speed.
8. Tests. You've passed all the tests, including this one, that help determine your feelings. All compatibility horoscopes have also already been studied.
9. You constantly talk about him. In any situation you start a conversation about him. With friends, with mom, with myself. He is the most interesting topic for you.
10. Dreams. You often imagine your first kiss with him. Every evening, going to bed, you think about him, plan your future together, come up with the names of your future children.

Test "Does he love me"

A clever test to determine love: 20 questions that will help you understand your feelings

If psychologists could define love, they would surpass poets who are constantly trying to convey this ephemeral feeling through poetry. In most cases, love brings us joy and bliss. But many of us know that sometimes we have to pay dearly for it. That is why each and everyone should learn the proposed ingenious method for determining love!

youtube.com

Perhaps it would be more correct to consider love not as an emotion, but as a state that causes positive and negative feelings in us. However, the question arises - what is the nature of this state, and why is it so important for our sense of well-being to be in a state of love.

Anatomy of love

Unlike great writers and artists who addressed the issue of love, psychologists have a more pragmatic approach to it. After all, they are trying to decompose it into its component parts. Thus, psychologists Sandra Langeslag from the University of Maryland and her colleagues from the Netherlands Peter Muris and Ingmar Franken are of the opinion that it is not necessary to define love, it is enough to highlight its signs.

These signs are divided into categories: behavioral, emotional, cognitive (related to a person's values ​​and beliefs) and physical (for example, increased energy, insomnia, loss of appetite, trembling, palpitations, etc.). Note that researchers are talking about “romantic” love, and not about love-friendship. Romantic love involves high intensity of passions and pronounced sexual attraction.

Sandra Langeslag and her team view love as a combination of reckless passion and deep affection. Passionate love as passion, absorption in another person and the manifestation of the most tender feelings towards him is the leading feeling. Deep affection involves the desire to always be close to another person. Sandra Langeslag and her colleagues believe that passion can be without attachment, they are independent of each other.

Secure, anxious, and distant attachments

Passionate passion brings not only pleasant feelings into a person’s life, but can also be associated with mental suffering, anxiety, and depression. Therefore, according to Sandra Langeslag, it is associated with a more pronounced expression of feelings compared to attachment. When your attachment to your partner is strong and constant, which psychologists call “secure attachment,” then your feelings will be more or less even and calm.

If you are constantly overcome by fears and tormented by doubts about whether your partner wants to date you or not, you are very worried about every trifle and misunderstanding in your relationship, or you are distrustful of your lover, then we talk about “anxious affection."

If you do not need excessive affection, in relationships with emotions and passions, prefer solitude and strive for your “personal space,” your type is “detached attachment.”

Sandra Langeslag notes that stability is achieved by couples whose relationships are based on love, passion and deep affection. Research into happy, long-lasting marriages shows that spouses care about each other and strive to be together. However, due to the fact that passions subside over time, in the long term, relationships in married couples are built more on deep affection.

Test: determine the strength of your passion and deep affection

Based on the above, we suggest assessing how much your current feelings for your lover correspond to these two highlighted sides of love: passion and deep affection. To do this, you need to pass a test containing 20 statements. You rate the degree of your agreement with each statement on a 7-point scale: from 1 point if you completely disagree with the statement and up to 7 points if you completely agree with the statement.

1. I look into the distance when I think about him (her).
2. I think I can rely on him (her).
3. I feel trembling in my knees when I am close to him (her).
4. I am ready to share all my property with him (her).
5. I will be lonely without him (without her).
6. I have no appetite because of my feelings for him (her).
7. Thoughts about him (her) do not allow me to focus on anything else.
8. He (she) is meant for me.
9. I am afraid that I will say something wrong when talking to him (her).
10. He (she) knows everything about me.
11. I will love him (her) always.
12. My hands sweat when I'm near him (her).
13. I feel an emotional connection with him (her).
14. I feel excited around him/her.
15. He (she) can calm me down and cheer me up when I am upset (upset) about something.
16. I don't sleep well because of constant thoughts about him (her).
17. I try to find another meaning in his (her) words.
18. He (she) is the person who can make me the happiest.
19. I can’t imagine my future without him (her).
20. I feel awkward in his/her presence.

Sum up the scores for each scale separately.

Scale 1: 1, 3, 6, 7, 9, 12, 14, 16, 17, 20.

Scale 2: 2, 4, 5, 8, 10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 19.

Scale 1 measures the aspect of love such as passionate infatuation, and scale 2 measures deep affection. If your score on scale 1 is between 40 and 45 points and is approximately equal to the score on the attachment scale, it can be said that you do not yet have feelings of romantic love for your chosen one.

What testing showed during the study

This test was tested on a sample of 560 people aged from 19-20 to 55 years. 2/3 of the sample were women. Turning to the results obtained by the research team, the subjects from the United States received the highest score on scale 1, “passionate love.”

Partners who were married or living together, as well as those who were in the dating stage, scored between 20 and 30 on the “passionately in love” scale. These were residents of Holland and the USA. Subjects who were in a civil or official marriage received the highest score on the “deep attachment” scale.

So, we can conclude that the longer you are in an intimate relationship with your partner, the greater the likelihood that the score on the “passionate love” scale will be below the average mark on the 7-point scale. In this case, the score on the “deep attachment” scale will be close to 7 points. This means that if you score low on the passionate crush scale and high on the deep affection scale, then your relationship is destined to last a long time.

Another interesting result of this study. It turns out that in both the American and Dutch samples, high scores on the “passionate love” scale have a positive relationship with the experience of negative emotions and feelings. And in subjects with high scores on the “deep attachment” scale, indicators of negative emotions (for example, jealousy, fear, anxiety, despair), on the contrary, are lower.

If you want your relationship to be happy and long-lasting , the experience of deep affection for your partner that will make it so It is advisable that the basis of your love relationship be “secure attachment”. We hope that we have helped you understand a little about this aspect of relationships.

Comment

Is he in love with you?

A guy in love will definitely show himself.

Once you are convinced that you are in love, another question arises, “Is he in love with you?”

3 ways to make a man think about you

In this video you will find 10 main signs of falling in love. If you find them in yourself, congratulations, you are in love!

The main thing is to understand yourself

Before you try to understand how you feel about a person, you need to understand yourself very well. Understanding your emotions and feelings is a very difficult task. For yourself, you are the most important person, and your attitude towards others depends on how you feel and experience. If you do not feel peace and love for yourself, then you cannot talk about loving another person. It will take some time to figure out how to understand yourself. The main thing is that you need to listen carefully to your inner experiences.

Does your chosen one love you: test

How many daisies have suffered answering this eternal girlish question “Does she love you or doesn’t she love you?” And he suffered in vain, because you can’t understand exactly what his attitude towards you is hiding underneath with just tearing off the petals. Manifestations of love are so multifaceted that even a spruce tree will not help here, even if you pluck all its needles one by one. It is possible to understand the manifestations of a young man’s feelings only through a detailed analysis of his actions.

There is no methodology that would classify the manifestation of feelings. Everyone expresses them in their own way, depending on temperament, situation, circumstances. One is able to sing serenades under the balcony of his beloved, regardless of the neighbors, while the other, even in private, cannot bring himself to utter the cherished words of recognition. And not because he doesn’t love, but because he simply CAN’T!

How to understand his true attitude? One of the main criteria is a sincere interest in the partner, in his affairs, concerns, the desire to help cope with troubles, to take on the solution of at least part of the problems.

Also an indicator is his desire to attract interest to himself. If a guy tells you about his successes, this is not necessarily bragging, this is one of the ways to win your attention and interest you in his person. And if he wants to do this, it means he is not indifferent to you.

And a very clear sign of a special attitude towards your partner is the desire to introduce him to your circle of acquaintances. There is no need to talk about introducing the parents.

Understand his feelings

So, all of the above signs are present. So he loves? To be sure of this, try answering the questions on the proposed test.

1. Are you sure that your experiences are important to him?

a) Yes, I’m sure he has proven this more than once;

b) Sometimes I am sure of this, and sometimes he shows himself to be a real egoist.

c) It’s unlikely, only he and his feelings are important to him.

1. Is he capable of presenting pleasant surprises?

a) What more! And always to the point!

b) Sometimes this happens;

c) You’ll get it from him, of course!

1. Does he know the little things about your daily life (who is your boss, your favorite friend, what kind of music do you like)?

a) Yes, he is interested in my life;

b) Not everything, but he knows something about me;

c) No, he is not interested in this at all.

1. Does he often ask you for help?

a) As a rule, he even rejects my offered help;

b) Rarely, but it happens;

c) Very often.

1. Whose apartment do you live in?

a) This is his apartment;

b) This is my apartment;

c) We rent an apartment together.

1. Do you often feel guilty towards him?

a) Almost never;

b) Sometimes this happens;

c) I always feel guilty about something to him.

1. Did he ask you to borrow money?

a) No, on the contrary, I periodically borrow from him;

b) Well, it happened a couple of times;

c) Not only asks, but also does not always give.

1. Do you hear criticism from him about you?

a) Practically none;

b) It happens, but always reasoned;

c) Almost every day.

1. In the event of your illness, he...

a) takes care of you, cares for you like an experienced nurse;

b) will provide everything you need, but he is unlikely to stay at home with you;

c) wish you recovery and go about your business.

So, you have answered all the questions. Count which answer options you have the most. If under the letter “a” , he proves his love not with words, but with actions. You are truly dear to him, as are your feelings. This attitude towards oneself must be appreciated and responded in kind.

Did your answers mostly center around option “b” ? Well, not bad. His attitude towards you can hardly be called all-consuming, selfless love, but it is also impossible to say that for some reason he simply benefits from an alliance with you. Most likely, this is just a relationship that suits both of you. But who said that this is not a form of love?

Does he love you?

And finally, the predominance of option “c” in the answers . This is where it’s worth thinking about it. Perhaps he just nestled comfortably under your wing and is next to you because it is convenient for him? Try not to adapt to him a couple of times, do what you think is necessary, not him. His reaction will be the best indicator in the question of “whether he loves you.”

No matter what your test result is, remember that you should never become complacent in your relationship. After all, as you know, the theorem called “Love” needs to be proven every day.

How to understand your feelings for a person?

There are moments in each of our lives when our hearts are filled with emotions. Sometimes it can be very difficult to understand what it is: love, affection, sympathy, attraction? Only your heart can answer the question of how to understand what you feel for a person. Very often we take the choice of a partner lightly, based only on the bright, strong emotions that gripped us during the first time of communication. In such an important matter, you cannot make rash decisions; you need a clear understanding of how you feel. Specially designed psychological tests can help with this. Their goal is to find an answer to the question of how to understand their feelings for a person.

What to do if you love?

What to do if you realized that you really love a person? Talk to him face to face. Find out the nature of his feelings. You don't have to ask directly to do this. In the article “Test: Does Your Boyfriend Love You,” I talk about secret signs that will help clarify his attitude towards you. Is everything mutual? Then strengthen your partnership: I give useful advice in the section “Ideal love relationships.”