Human psychology, if considered as a separate field of knowledge and as a section of general psychology, is a unique and unknown category. In relation to a specific individual, psychology should be considered a combination of many factors and aspects: thinking, developmental characteristics, motivation, inner world, interaction with others and more. This is important to understand. Especially during periods of life when there is a desire to understand oneself.
Why this desire arises and what to do when there is a mess in your head is in the material of the article.
Why do you sometimes want to understand yourself?
Most often, desires that in one way or another relate to the search for oneself and the desire to understand oneself arise under the influence of external factors. However, such thoughts can visit any person suddenly, literally out of nowhere.
Do you often wonder if you are doing something wrong?
I almost always think about this. I think I'm confused
50%
I take confident steps in life and don’t ask myself this question
16.67%
Sometimes such thoughts come to mind, sometimes doubts arise
33.33%
Voted: 6
Psychologists identify the following reasons that provoke the emergence of mixed emotions and a heightened desire to understand oneself. They are as follows:
Problems in relationships with family and friends.
Even if it seems that autonomy and independence are the dominant personality traits, it is worth understanding that this is almost certainly not the case. Every person is surrounded by people whose opinions are important. Even someone who says that he doesn’t care about the opinions of others is actually, at least subconsciously, looking for approval. And not only: he copies the behavior patterns of authorities, in any case relying on someone or something.
It doesn’t matter who a person considers an authority: a significant other, a sister or brother, parents or friends - this is secondary. It is important to learn something else: without an authoritative opinion, without an example, life becomes “not the same.” And then, when conflicts occur with a loved one or relative, with someone for whom a person has warm feelings or affection, you may be faced with the desire to look for reasons in yourself.
What is your relationship with your loved ones and loved ones?
Of course, sometimes there are disagreements, but overall the relationship is good
0%
Unfortunately, there is no mutual understanding, but I really wanted a good, warm relationship
25%
In wonderful, in the most wonderful relationships
75%
Voted: 4
However, often the first thing that may arise is the desire to delve into those around you, but if this does not bring the expected fruits, sooner or later you will have to focus on your own “I”. “Am I doing something wrong?”, “Why didn’t I do something different?” – these and other questions may begin to worry after a serious quarrel, if the causes of the conflict are not related to loved ones, but lie within. Then the desire to understand yourself will intensify.
Failures, difficulties in business.
You can, as they say, be on top of your game, or you can face an unsuccessful course of business as usual. Goals may become difficult to achieve and dreams may begin to crumble. Sometimes even a hobby can stop bringing pleasure and cause mixed emotions.
In one of these situations, questions may arise: “Who is to blame?”; “Is it something from the outside or is it in me?”; “Do you need to understand yourself?” External searches may not yield results. In this case, a person inevitably faces an irresistible desire to understand himself, to literally rummage through the past to find answers.
Transitional stage between certain age limits.
We are talking about a phenomenon that in psychology is usually called an age-related crisis. Absolutely anyone can encounter it. At such moments, you need to remind yourself that part of the basis of any such crisis is a combination of physiological and biological factors: hormonal imbalances or changes, poor health, sleep disturbances, and the like. All this leads to the desire to solve a problem related to understanding, to rethinking oneself, as well as to the desire to understand oneself.
Speaking about age crises, it is worth emphasizing that on average they overtake and even take any person by surprise approximately once every 7 years. In some cases, the transitional stage may pass unnoticed, while in others, on the contrary, it awakens a persistent desire to know oneself.
Depression, bad mood.
In the context of self-knowledge, it is more fair to talk about ordinary and common forms of depression, but not about clinical ones, when the help of doctors becomes necessary. Trying to understand yourself, to deal with your own feelings and states on your own in this case will definitely not bring results.
In other situations, you can try and even get tangible results.
You need to understand yourself correctly. There is no need to “throw yourself headlong into the pool.” “Correct” – how is that? More on this later.
Mindsight or the path to self-knowledge
The path to harmony begins with self-awareness. But what is self-awareness? This process was described in most detail by one famous doctor, professor at the School of Medicine at the University of California at Los Angeles (USA), director of the Mindsight Institute he founded, Daniel Siegel, who became the founder of a previously virtually unstudied discipline - interpersonal neurobiology (mindsight). The term “mindsight” comes from mind (mind) and insight (insight). The essence of mindsight is to know yourself, which helps to get rid of fears, obsessions, worries, depression, self-doubt and many other personality problems. In this article we will talk about the features of a mindsite and the reasons for its effectiveness. Read more…
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How to understand yourself once and for all: practical advice from psychologists
To understand yourself, you need to learn a few simple points:
- Stress is not only the cause of negative experiences, but also the driver. In the literal sense of the word. The engine of evolution, the engine of life, literally the engine of the body. He stimulates, motivates, drives actions. Light forms of stress are what tones and gives strength. The simplest example is a stressful state caused by hunger or cold. It moved ancient people and forced them to act and not give up;
- There is no need to be zealous when delving into yourself; you cannot do this during periods of extreme tension. Breathing exercises can help. All people are, first of all, living organisms, the functioning of which is tied to uniform laws. To begin the journey within yourself in complete calm, just take a few deep breaths and exhale. This is a great way to return your “I” to the present, to reality, which will be a big plus in terms of the adequacy of any assessments and conclusions of reality;
- When thinking about how to understand yourself, you need to realize that practice can help. Do you like books? It's time to discover a new genre. Are you interested in cooking? Then a new dish. Games? New licensed disc! These are just examples: the approach will work for any field of activity. If there are no tangible results, you should think about changing direction: replace games with books or books with cooking;
- The search can lead to a dead end, especially if it becomes long and extended over time. But in the context of the topic of the article, any dead end is just a rather conditional and vague construct. Sometimes, instead of searching, it will be much more effective to move on to something that distracts, fills reality with meaning, and does not force you to understand yourself;
- Analysis is not always good. The ability to “turn off” your head at the right time is a valuable skill. Especially when the desire to understand oneself cannot be satisfied for a long period.
Do you think that you are haunted by failures?
No! This is life and failures tend to appear on the path in life.
66.67%
Lately, yes, I seem to be haunted by failures
33.33%
Voted: 3
If the desire to plunge into oneself for analysis is caused by betrayal, there is no need to look for reasons “IN”; in this case, they are always “OUT”. The traitor makes a choice, the victim of betrayal does the same. And this choice should not be in favor of self-examination: there is no need to waste energy and time on a meaningless search for the truth.
Take up meditation
Another way to know yourself is meditation. As he writes in the book “Tools of Giants. Secrets of success, techniques for increasing productivity and useful habits of outstanding people” speaker, writer Timothy Ferris, meditation allows you to step back from the whole world and look at yourself from the outside. In a meditative state, a person calmly observes the course of his own thoughts, rather than rushing about and stumbling over them.
Here are the recommendations for meditation given by T. Ferris:
- Meditate in seven-day cycles. A week is the minimum time to get results.
- Do not start with long meditations (30‒60 minutes). At the initial stage, sessions of 10 minutes are sufficient.
- Later, experiment with the length of the session until you achieve maximum results.
How to understand what you want: Pixabay
Meditation has helped many successful people understand themselves. Today it is practiced:
- Liv Tyler;
- Emma Watson;
- Katy Perry;
- Oprah Winfrey.
How long does it take to meditate before a person begins to understand himself? Timothy Ferris writes that the Dalai Lama once said that it would take about 50 hours to make significant life changes. But recent research has shown that just 100 total hours of simple sitting meditation is enough for a person to experience change.
How and where to start self-analysis in order to understand yourself: the main stages
If a moment comes when the mind is completely occupied by the desire to understand oneself, you need to start acting. All questions have answers, sometimes they lie on the surface, literally “in front of your nose.”
Speaking about introspection, it is important to note that this is primarily a process aimed at knowing oneself, at accepting the self, the deep center and at the same time the expression of psychological integrity. Both knowledge and acceptance are simple.
In general, self-analysis can be represented as a combination of a number of stages. They are:
Identifying the source of concern.
The most important question concerns the reasons. What leads to the desire in question: relationships with a lover or lover, relationships with family, things at work, lack of success in a hobby, or something else? Trite, but effective: sometimes a piece of paper and a pen are enough. It is necessary to write down the points - these are the factors that cause the most trouble and cause anxiety. A good solution would be to arrange the items in order from more problematic to less problematic.
This approach will allow, at the first stage of self-analysis, to identify areas that need to be addressed. Areas that need to be worked on within yourself. It may even turn out that the reasons lie “OUTSIDE” and not “IN”.
Do you often dream about something that will certainly never come true?
Yes, I understand that, but I like to feel like it came true
75%
No, I think that by doing this I am only poisoning myself
25%
Voted: 4
Sorting problems.
And again we need to return to the list. From it you can safely cross out those problems that cannot be influenced or are provoked by outsiders. It may seem that a person is omnipotent and omnipotent, but this is not so: there are always boundaries and completely objective barriers that cannot be overcome. You shouldn't jump over your head. Taking responsibility for something beyond your control or intervention is a bad decision. Moreover, it is not worth digging for yourself.
At this stage, according to the practice of psychologists, the list of reasons is reduced by an average of 40-50%.
Honesty.
The next stage is making a decision to be completely honest with yourself.
A person who deceives himself makes two mistakes: he begins to believe in unreal things and delays the moment of solving a specific problem. Yes, you can inspire yourself with any thought, draw any reality in your head, but sooner or later the realization will come that the reality is different. In addition, life in a fictional world can provoke the development of serious disorders.
To be frank with yourself means to evaluate your own advantages and disadvantages objectively and adequately to reality. This is the right step on the path to self-knowledge.
Are you often in a good mood?
No! I am always positive and sadness is alien to me
0%
Very often, everything irritates me lately
33.33%
I'm a living person and sometimes I can be in a bad mood
33.33%
I forgot what a good mood is
33.33%
Voted: 3
Systematic movement towards the goal.
This is the final stage of reflection: it is important to realize that only gradual movement towards the goal will give the best results. When understanding yourself, you should not strive to get everything at once. Self-analysis is a lengthy process and can take a long time.
It is not enough to snap your fingers to get all the answers. Life will not get better in 1-2 days: sometimes solving difficult problems, in particular those related to searching for something within oneself, requires colossal efforts. And at this stage they will need to be applied.
By understanding yourself, you need to gain confidence. Believing in your own strengths is half the success. All problems can be solved, and most difficulties are caused by internal barriers and attitudes. By discovering and working through them, you can change any situation. Self-analysis and faith are the key to success.
How to understand your desires
To understand your desires, as discussed above, allow yourself to be in a real or imaginary place where you can feel completely calm and relaxed. It is important that this place instills in you a state of absolute security.
While there, imagine yourself as a very small person - as if it were the smallest you. Next, try to understand what your littlest inner child wants.
Write down all the answers that you receive mentally or out loud from him.
Next, thank him.
Then, imagine an older inner child - yourself at the age of 3-7 years. And, as in the previous case, ask him what his desires are, what he wants. Don't be surprised by the answers , just write them down on paper.
And we carry out this procedure of understanding our true desires and needs with a child for about 10 years, then with a teenager and then with ourselves yesterday.
Questions for self-analysis with explanations
For reflection to be truly effective, you need to try to answer several questions. Honesty as one of the most important principles is especially necessary here. Competent self-analysis is a guarantee that it will be easy to understand yourself.
How bad is it?
Sometimes “bad” is a convention. This can be explained by the subjectivity of some human views on the essence of things. What can make the situation worse is the tendency of most of us to dramatize.
Asking yourself what is really bad is important. We need objectivity.
Are your desires realistic and are your goals achievable?
“I want to wake up tomorrow in a spacious house with a bag of money. Otherwise I’ll worry”; “I want my colleague to confess his love to me. I’m very worried about his inattention” - these are just examples. To have a house, you need to build it. Money needs to be earned. Love is also, in a sense, building, but only relationships. Nothing just happens like that.
Sometimes awareness of how certain goals are achieved, desires come true - something that is much more useful than self-digging. Instead of looking for the reasons for trouble, it is better to get down to business.
Do you “dig into yourself” a lot and look for shortcomings?
I am very strict with myself and often look for something to complain about.
33.33%
I know that there are no perfect people, and therefore I try not to dwell on my shortcomings
66.67%
Voted: 3
Do you have an optimistic outlook on life?
Having decided on this, you can decide on further actions. Optimists look for opportunities and look only forward. Pessimists are more likely to complain and prefer to be active, albeit hesitant, and focus on something negative and condemnation.
If after answering this question it turns out that there is more pessimism, you need to change the state of affairs. Otherwise, it will be useless to put things in order in your head.
What is being done now that is causing more frustration?
Having received the answer, you need to abandon activities that do not bring satisfaction and joy. Hedonists are perhaps the happiest people on Earth. They, like optimists, see the world as an endless sea of pleasures and opportunities to make their own lives better. They don't delve inside themselves and surround themselves with what they like.
By starting to work with what surrounds you, striving to change your life for the better, even if you take the smallest steps, after a while you can detect qualitative changes and easily understand yourself.
Who can you count on?
If you cannot cope with individual problems on your own through the process of soul-searching and introspection, it is recommended to think: who can help? Good friend? Close person? Psychologist? It does not matter. If there are difficulties, sometimes it is better to enlist help and support.
Some experts advise looking for problems in the past, pointing to periods such as childhood or adolescence, which supposedly need to be addressed first. In fact, what is important to understand is that most current problems or worries are caused by the present. For this reason, it is useful to first of all work through all the negative aspects on your own, without being distracted by events that happened years or decades ago. Sometimes you can understand yourself without going into details. Often the essence lies on the surface.
Do you think you know yourself well?
Yes, I know myself perfectly well, my character, my reactions and emotions
33.33%
No! You can expect anything from me and sometimes I am shocked by myself
33.33%
In general, yes, but sometimes in unforeseen circumstances I can see and recognize myself from the other side
33.33%
Voted: 3
What is it to know yourself?
We easily evaluate other people, but at the same time we are completely unfamiliar with ourselves. But this is the most important thing for each of us. This is the only way to begin to fight your bad habits and negative qualities. In this case, the saying “You need to know the enemy by sight!” works perfectly.
But oddly enough, the question “How to know yourself?” sounds least often among people. That is, no one cares who he is, what his role is in this life, what qualities and habits his moral side consists of. What is noteworthy is that psychology experts are not so worried about the answer to the reason for the lack of search for the most important thing in life - oneself. After all, this is the key to the doors behind which lies the secret of not only our inner world, but also the surrounding one. It’s simple, when you ask yourself questions, you need to give answers, and completely honest and sincere ones.
But few of us are able to admit our negative sides, and even to ourselves, we are most often hypocrites. But we still need to start. Especially for those who strive to find complete harmony with the world and themselves. Get pleasure and enjoyment from life, get rid of complexes, negative habits and breathe deeply.
And if you, after reading the topic of the article, continue to study it, we wrote it not in vain. But before you start answering, we suggest that you familiarize yourself with the opinion of representatives of the Orthodox religion about why it is necessary for every person on the planet to know themselves.
Key points to understand yourself
- The desire to understand oneself can arise for a number of reasons: because of problems at work, because of a quarrel or conflict with a loved one, because of failures in business or hobbies. The result is almost always stress.
- Avoiding stress caused by the desire to understand yourself is not worth it. They move people, force them to move forward and literally change the reality around them.
- When trying to understand yourself, when you come across a dead end in your thoughts, you don’t need to be scared. Any barrier, especially an internal one, is a conditional construct, an imaginary obstacle that can be overcome. You need to remind yourself of this.
- Sometimes “turning off” your head is better than driving yourself into a corner.
- Self-analysis or reflection is a complex process that requires systematic and step-by-step work. You won’t be able to understand yourself instantly. It takes patience and diligence.
- When analyzing and thinking about yourself in a new way, you should rely on the list of simple questions presented in the publication. The answers to them will help set a guideline for successful movement forward.
- The causes of problems do not always lie within. You don’t always have to look for them in yourself. External factors that cannot be influenced, if they can be circumvented, do not deserve attention. This way you can easily make your life easier and get rid of the need to deal with what and why is not as you would like.
“I-concept”: characteristics, features, meaning
The term “Self-concept”, which can be heard today from psychologists of various directions, sociologists and other specialists in the field of the personal sphere of a person, is interpreted as a system of ideas of an individual about himself. These ideas can be perceived by a person to varying degrees and be relatively stable. This concept is the result of a person’s self-knowledge and self-evaluation through individual images within various real and imagined situations, as well as through the opinions of others and a person’s correlation of himself with them. Taking into account the relevance of this topic, we want to talk about the “I-concept”. Read more…
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Keep a personal diary.
Sometimes reading about the destinies of other people is more interesting for someone than living their own life. In this case, you can use a little psychological trick. Just start your own diary, where you can start writing down all your thoughts, plans and events in life. When the number of entries accumulates, you should start reading it from the very beginning, as if about another person. Take a look at your own life from the outside. After all, it is sometimes much easier to understand yourself by imagining yourself as an independent spectator than in your own skin.
System unit
If the operating system is the soul of the computer, then the system unit is all the internal organs. The system unit includes many parts that interact with each other. The most important part is the motherboard (large chip). It is to this that everything else is attached.
External parts also include a Wi-Fi device, game consoles and a TV tuner, which are also connected to the system unit. Before you buy a computer, you need to choose what purpose it will serve: for gaming, for watching movies and working with documents, or just for accessing the Internet. Depending on your choice, the store consultant will offer a motherboard with the optimal cost and necessary functions.
There are two buttons on the outside of the system unit: one large, the other small. The large one is used to start the computer, and the small one is used for an emergency reboot.
Summary
Self-determination is a stable subjective position of an individual in relation to himself and the world. An indicator of harmonious self-determination is the unity of words and deeds, desires and responsibilities. A person with a clear position focuses only on himself, he does not hesitate in difficult situations of choice, and does not succumb to the opinions and influence of others.
Harmonious self-determination includes a value-semantic core (needs, interests, personal values), space for the individual’s self-realization, the creative nature of self-realization, future planning and prospects, the meaning of life, a positive outlook on the world.
A lifestyle that inhibits personal development and is based on values condemned by society is called illusory self-determination. Example: the life of a thief or the wild lifestyle of a person living one day at a time. Productive self-realization, based on socially approved values and promoting personal development, is called real self-determination.
Dead end? Take a break
If you have been so focused on the same problem for a long time that you can’t even think about anything else, take a break from it, forget it for a few days. It is important to return to this problem in a few days without procrastinating. Use whatever you want to distract yourself: watch a movie, visit a city park, or spend an evening with loved ones. There are tons of options here! You can then take a fresh look at the problem and solve it. Practice shows that in most cases the problem is invented by the person himself and simply does not exist.
Where do psychological problems come from?
If a person experiences internal discomfort and dissatisfaction that does not go away even after the situation and the outside world change, we can talk about a psychological problem. People create themselves, so sometimes you need to direct all your strength and efforts to learn how to understand yourself and understand what you want. You can always find excuses for your inaction, but this will not help you become happy. To find harmony, you need to work on yourself, study special literature or visit a psychologist. To enjoy every day, you need to be patient and be positive.
When thinking about how to understand yourself, it is worth knowing that a person, in fact, has only two aspirations: “the desire to...” and “the desire from...”. Often the problem is twofold: a person wants to achieve a goal, but for some reason cannot do it. At the same time, due to psychological problems, there is a fear of achieving goals. These processes can take place both at the subconscious level and at the semi-conscious level. It is important not to hide from the problem and admit that it exists. Then it will be much easier to solve it.
To make it easier to understand how to understand yourself and your feelings, you need to realize that all psychological problems are subjective. A constructive approach and the absence of destructive ways to achieve goals are integral components of success.
