A child hits his head when he is forbidden to do something.

A child “punishes” himself without waiting for his parents to punish him—sound familiar? He hurts himself, hits his head - where does this behavior come from and what can it turn into when he becomes an adult?

Petya is 2 years old, he is a vulnerable and slightly shy child. For the last month he has been forced to live with his grandmother, because her parents are going through a very difficult period - divorce proceedings. The once happy family began to collapse literally before our eyes after dad was fired from work. The child increasingly witnessed quarrels and fights between parents. After another conflict, my mother’s patience came to an end, and she took Petya to the village to see her grandmother.

Every time after his mother left, the boy would cry for a long time and forcefully pinch himself on the skin around his wrist. Even my favorite toys and delicious treats, carefully prepared by my grandmother, did not help. And also, when something didn’t work out for him during games, he banged his head against the wall. This behavior began to frighten my grandmother. Why does an affectionate, vulnerable boy, no different from his peers, have so much aggression towards himself?

Causes of tantrums in children

Hysteria is a state of intense agitation, which is accompanied by sudden changes in mood, outbursts of anger and despair, as well as loss of self-control. Children in hysterics may scream, cry, fall to the floor, bang their fists and even bang their heads against the wall. It is difficult for a small child to get out of this state on his own, so hysteria can last for quite a long time. What are the causes of tantrums in children?

• Overwork and overexcitement. Kids can get tired of both monotonous activities (long trips, intellectual work) and emotionally intense events (trips to entertainment centers, active and noisy games with peers, visiting a new place for the baby). If a child is tired, the likelihood of a tantrum increases significantly.
• Physical discomfort: pain, hunger and thirst, stuffiness, overheating, and so on.
• Inability to describe your requirement in words. Young children often have conflicts and misunderstandings with peers due to the fact that they cannot yet express their desires in words. Adults also do not always understand what a baby wants, who cannot yet or is just learning to speak. Misunderstanding on the part of loved ones often leads to hysterics.
• The desire for independence. If parents, being overly concerned about the baby, do not allow him to show independence, this can provoke frequent hysterics. This is especially evident during crisis periods of development (1 year, 1.5 years, 3 years).
• Lack of attention. A child who does not receive enough care and affection will most likely try to attract attention in various ways. Hysteria rarely leaves parents indifferent.
• Refusals and prohibitions. Due to emotionality and insufficient development of self-control, young children usually react violently to any obstacles to the fulfillment of their desires.
• Inconsistency of adults. The lack of a common position on the part of parents regarding the upbringing of a child or the floating boundaries of what is permitted lead to the child’s lack of a clear picture of the world, and therefore a lack of a sense of predictability and safety. In this regard, capriciousness and impulsiveness appear.

Even the most balanced little ones fall into hysterics from time to time, seemingly out of the blue. This most often occurs during periods of crisis of 1 year and 3 years. If a child over 4 years old systematically experiences hysterical attacks, this may indicate the presence of neurological disorders or serious errors in upbringing.

Signs

Each hysterical child behaves differently during an attack. Someone might just stomp their feet and yell loudly. Others start rolling on the floor. But the most dangerous are those who, by splashing out negativity and aggression, cause damage to themselves and others. Parents need to know how this happens to their baby. This will allow you to take the necessary security measures in a timely manner.

Before hysterics, many seem to “prepare” for the upcoming performance. If you manage to catch this moment, you can prevent an attack. This is signaled by special harbingers:

• slight whimpering;
• snuffling, puffing, grumbling;
• pursed or trembling lips (someone sticks out their lower lip offended);
• a frowning glance from under his brows at the one on whom the satisfaction of desire depends;
• eyes full of tears;
• closed pose (arms clasped in front of you);
• methodically rocking the body (sitting on a chair or just standing);
• nervous, sudden movements;
• red face.

Precursors are not always demonstrated - attacks often begin unexpectedly and abruptly. What does a child usually do when hysterical?

Two types of children's tantrums

Some teachers and psychologists distinguish between two fundamentally different types of hysterics in children: true and manipulative. This classification is based on the criterion of a child’s awareness of his behavior.

1. True hysterics occur involuntarily. Emotions completely take over the baby, so he is not able to control his actions, take into account their possible consequences, or accept the persuasion and arguments of adults. The lower parts of the brain (in particular, the amygdala) are involved in the occurrence of this type of hysteria.
2. Manipulative hysterics occur consciously (the upper parts of the brain are involved in the work). They are usually typical for children of middle and older preschool age. In this way the child wants to achieve the desired result. Indeed, when the baby is in a hysterical state, especially if this happens in a crowded place or if they need to rush somewhere, parents often find no other way out of the situation other than to instantly satisfy the baby’s need (or whim). If adults succumb to such manipulations at least several times, most likely, this model of behavior will be firmly entrenched in the preschooler.

When faced with manipulative hysteria, or “top floor” hysteria, it is important not to succumb to provocations and make it clear to the child that this method of getting what they want is not constructive. When the child understands that a tantrum is not effective, he will stop behaving in this way. If a child’s hysteria occurs unconsciously (a “lower floor” hysteria), first of all you need to support the child and accept his emotions. When the emotional outburst subsides a little, the baby will be able to perceive your words.

Distinguishing one type of tantrum from another can be difficult. But every parent knows their child well and can observe what is the reason and reason for hysteria.

Types of head tics

Nervous tics in the head area are motor and vocal.
In the first case, this is the repetition of identical movements with the nose, lips, eyelids, and forehead. Vocal tics are obsessive snorting, hissing, coughing, sighing, and sniffling. The child can make vowel sounds and make short squeaks. Also, hyperkinesis (tics) in children are classified in medicine as local and multiple - a single muscle or several muscles are affected at once.

According to the initial state of the child’s nervous system, primary and secondary tics are distinguished. Primary is the only disorder, while secondary is provoked by existing brain dysfunction.

How to respond to your baby's tantrums?

So, how should you behave with a child who is in a state of hysterics? First of all, we need to understand what exactly we want to achieve: to stop the “shameful” behavior as quickly as possible (that is, to achieve an immediate effect), or is the long-term perspective important? Of course, the second one. Adults (parents and other loved ones) must teach the baby to understand his emotions, express them constructively, follow the rules, and cope with difficulties. This cannot be achieved by responding to a tantrum with punishment, ignoring, or simply distracting attention. Here are the basic rules, following which you can stop hysterics and maintain a trusting relationship with your baby:

1. As soon as you notice that the child begins to cry, let him know that you hear him. You don’t need to immediately enter into dialogue with him, just turn in his direction.
2. To make the baby feel that you accept his feelings and can share them with him, approach the child and get down to his level.
3. Analyze the situation and tell your baby his emotion: “you’re angry,” “you’re very upset,” “you’re sad,” and so on. At this moment, most likely, the child will somehow respond to your words, he will begin to gradually become aware of his emotions. You can tell him about a situation when you yourself experienced a similar emotion.

Hysteria develops in waves: first, anger and rage arise sharply, then, having reached their peak, they are replaced by sadness and despair, after which the emotions gradually subside.

1. Try to find out the reason why the child became hysterical. Maybe something didn’t work out for him, or he really wants to buy some kind of toy, or he didn’t expect anything and got scared. There can be many reasons. If the baby can talk, you can ask him about it directly. If the baby doesn’t speak yet, ask him to show him what he wants, and also show him the possible options yourself. The child will begin to interact with you and break out of the vicious circle of uncontrollable emotional reactions. It is very important not to evaluate or criticize what the baby tells or shows you, but simply listen to him carefully.
2. When the child speaks out and you understand the reason for his worries, calmly tell him your position on this matter. The opinions and capabilities of adults do not always coincide with the requirements of children, so you should not be afraid to say “no” to the baby. Speak calmly and confidently, clearly justifying your position in a language that the child can understand.
3. If your child receives a refusal, try to end on a positive note and redirect his attention to something interesting. With preschool children, you can dream together or make immediate plans.

Why does a child start hitting his head on the floor at 1.5–2 years old?

The reason for everything is a breakthrough in development. Child psychology associates this behavior with the 3-year-old crisis. A period when the child will experience many psychological and physiological changes:

1. Body proportions change.
2. The awareness of one’s “I” comes.
3. Attempts to defend your desires and boundaries.

Psychologically, the child already feels on par with adults, but this is not so, because he still cannot:

• regulate raging emotions;
• fully express desires;
• analyze the situation.

Important! The 3-year-old crisis does not necessarily occur at this age. It can overtake a child at one and a half or 2 years, or, on the contrary, it can come late - at 4 years.

Preventing tantrums in children

To prevent tantrums, parents need to follow a number of principles:

• It is advisable that the child follows a daily routine and also has enough time to rest. For the development of the baby's nervous system, proper sleep, walks in the fresh air, and outdoor games are extremely important.
• Pay attention to the baby's emotional state. Talk to him about how he feels at a particular moment in time and why. Parents are the guides of children into the world of emotions.
• Teach your baby to express his emotions in a constructive way (for example, if the baby is angry, he can stamp his foot; if the child can speak, then it is best to try to express your demand in words).
• Keep calm. If a child watches his loved ones get angry, he will copy their behavior.
• Give your child the opportunity to choose and exercise independence. The desire to do something yourself is a natural need of a child who, as he grows up, separates from his parents.
• The baby should not have many prohibitions. In order for a child to understand the meaning of the word “impossible,” it should mean only the strictest prohibitions (for example, do not run out onto the road, do not stick your fingers into a socket). It is in your power to arrange your life in such a way that you have to forbid something to your baby as rarely as possible. If you still need to restrict your child in some way, be sure to explain to him the reason for your decision.
• Be consistent. Do not cancel your ban, even if the baby begs you, cries or screams. Sometimes it can be very difficult to resist negative reactions to a ban, but believe me, changing your mind will make things worse. Only the persistence of parents gives the child the opportunity to predict the consequences of his behavior.

Small children do not yet know how to cope with their experiences on their own, so do not leave your baby alone if something is bothering him. The child must be sure that you accept his feelings and emotions and want to help solve his problem.

Bodily memory of trauma

The body remembers experiences, including traumatic ones. If you twist your leg once, in similar situations it can happen again and again.

Trauma memory occurs at a conscious age - from 10-11 years - and is associated with the development of voluntary behavior and reflection. What to do if a child often falls and gets injured in the same situation - while riding a bike, playing or playing sports, or maybe just while walking?

It is based on psychological and functional factors: self-doubt and incorrect movement. The wrong movement that led to injury is easily reinforced because it is emotionally intense. Expectation of a repeated mistake, uncertainty, tension lead to this very mistake.

To be the best... or to be yourself?

In the story with the teenager on the bike, there is a high probability of this exact incident - this is not the first time he has broken his leg when trying to do a trick.

A habitual injury can occur without tricks (the child constantly twists his leg when walking). The problem disappears as self-confidence increases. Acquiring independence and personal support, success in life changes the gait, making it more elastic and strong.

Muscles that are constantly injured can be strengthened with exercise. You can do this on your own, but it’s better to take a few lessons with a trainer who will correct mistakes step by step and tell you how to move correctly. This is especially true for sports and near-sports activities: parkour, ice skating, bicycle stunts.

The psychologist will help you cope with fear and uncertainty, with the “vague feeling” of injury, and will help you complete the “gestalt”: complete the action that you wanted to perform at the time of the first experience of injury.

conclusions

Every parent experiences their child's tantrums. In some children they occur more often, in others less often. The peak of hysterics usually occurs in early and early preschool age (1-3 years), older preschoolers are already sufficiently able to control their emotions. At the moment of hysteria, be close to the baby, help him understand his feelings, analyze the situation together and find out the cause of the hysteria. By including your baby in a dialogue with yourself, you prevent a further increase in emotional tension. Only after this is it necessary to express your position and explain to the child why in this case you are making this or that decision.

Help for autism at EMC

If the diagnosis is established, it is necessary to immediately begin working with the child, and this work must be comprehensive:

• The psychiatrist selects drug therapy (if abnormalities are detected before the age of 1 year, you can often do without medications).
• A psychologist, neuropsychologist and defectologist draw up an autism correction program and regularly work with the child, conducting various classes, testing, and games.

To achieve the best result, complex work of specialists is important, and not just one psychiatrist. It is important not to waste time, but to correct autism at an early age.