How to answer questions like “how are you”, “what are you doing”, “how are you feeling” and the like, in an original way and with humor, in order to interest a guy or, on the contrary, turn him off.

There used to be a saying that a bore is a person who, in response to the question: “How are you doing,” actually tells how he is doing, and in very detail. Therefore, many tried to answer this question monosyllabically and uninterestingly, without fear of being branded as a person without a creative streak. Saying “Excellent” or “Good” every time is too commonplace. You definitely won’t get into the cohort of witty people with this approach. After all, even such a simple question “how are you?” can be answered with creativity. And here's how.

How to answer the question: “how are you?”

Besides the fact that there is a folk saying “as white as soot,” you can invent something yourself. It all depends on who your interlocutor is, whether you want to continue the dialogue with him or her, or whether you need to cut off the thread of conversation at the moment and run away about your business. By the way, the question can be asked not at all in person, but over the phone, in a chat or on a social network. For such cases, there is another duty “weapon” - emoticons, or symbols of emotions.

1) Answer with humor

A great way to answer this question is to make a joke. Especially when everything is bad - this will show that you do not lose spirit even in the hour of problems.

Here are the options:

Not “good”, but with the same letter. By the way, horseradish is a vegetable, if anything... And it’s very spicy!
Great, can't wait!
What's the matter with such things!
Affairs??? No, I’m not a business person...
Business happens to the one who does something, and I rest!
Let's leave things to the businessmen, and let's go have fun!
Well, what can happen when it’s raining outside (snow, sun, moon, night, 21st century, etc. - depending on the situation).

2) Send emoticons or a funny video

Various versions of emoticons or stickers are perfect for answering this seemingly banal question. Video clips are also suitable, most often no more than a few seconds, with various phrases appropriate to the situation. If you are at the computer, then you can find a thematic demotivator that reflects the whole essence of the problems that are currently pressing for you. For example, a photo of a man on a paraglider landing on a beach infested with crocodiles. You can also find a video quote from the film “Only Old Men Go to Battle” (for those who haven’t watched it, it’s a movie about the Great Patriotic War, about pilots), where one of the heroes, flying on a downed plane, answers on the radio: “Everything is fine, I'm falling!

3) Answer witty and funny

You can remember the same phrase in a telephone conversation if something in your life has really gone wrong.

You can use something close to this:

I'm flying, I just jumped with a parachute. And what? Not noticeable?
Oh, poor, unfortunate me, I’m so tired, because every time I have to come up with an answer to the question “How are you?”
In Africa, children are starving, but everything is fine.
Everything is covered in chocolate, even your cell phone!
Yes, okay, yesterday she received the Nobel Prize for her contribution to the development of the study of grooming and rearing of the laboratory rat, as well as for the discovery of nanotechnology that will help penguins overcome global warming and survive it in Hitler’s secret bunker.
I'm doing great! I look forward to hearing more about my personal life!
Relatively. If you compare it with Marx, then it’s great, if you compare it with a multimillionaire, then not so much.

How to prepare for the answer?

If your friend gives you time to think, then use it rationally and break the process of finding an answer into several stages. Take a pen, a piece of paper, turn off your mobile phone and try to answer these questions as truthfully as possible:

Immediately evaluate: was the question asked just by a friend or by a best friend? Your answer depends on this.
How important is the interlocutor? Select 3 degrees: not important; important; very important.
Think about it: could you live without it? If yes, for how long, and if not, why?
What is it about him that makes you friends? And here, try not to be cunning, but answer as accurately as possible.

If it is popularity, then mark it; if it is money, make an appropriate inscription. Well, if the whole person is a whole, with all his shortcomings and advantages, then you can simply draw a heart on a piece of paper!

Look carefully at your notes. This is how, in step-by-step steps, you were able to assess the importance of your friend and draw up a rough response plan. Move on to the monologue!

How to give a guy an original answer to the question “how are you?”

The one person you really want to show off your wit to is the opposite sex. Humor brings people together and disarms them.

These would be great answers:

Good mood, it would be nice to go for a walk, but there are no offers yet.
Amazing. After all, you are communicating with me.
Great, I’m improving in all directions!
Will you join? Guess! Hint: I smile when I talk to you.

When you don’t have the best relationship with a guy, and you want to push him away from you in different ways, you can give one of the following answers:

Constant mood swings, a tugging stomach, tense nerves like a string, and all sorts of other nasty things, in general, PMS. And how are you?
How do you think I'm doing? I was reading my favorite book, and now I had to be distracted because of some people walking around here.
Do you have any good reason to ask me this?

In addition to negative and positive, the answer can be neutral, but at the same time closed. You need to not push the person away from you, and at the same time show that the conversation is inappropriate now:

Everything is fine, beautiful marquise...
I'm doing some soul-searching.
I meditate.

Why do you want to work for us?

Frequent answer: I want something new.

In fact: If you really dream about this job, then it will not be difficult for you to show your interest, perspective and loyalty. But anything can happen in life: sometimes a candidate loses self-confidence due to a series of failures or urgently needs any work, the main motivator is compensation, which is not usually discussed. In this case, prepare for the interview, rehearse! It would be a good idea to make inquiries about the company in advance and do not hesitate to talk about its strengths that interest you. It is important for the employer to see a confident and positive attitude and hear a clearly formulated answer.

How to answer the question “what are you doing?” to interest the interlocutor

Here it is important not only to be known as a witty person, but also to hook and intrigue your interlocutor.

For example, like this:

Right now? I'm answering your question!
And you guess three times! You guessed it - I'm done with the cookie.
I’m talking (online, chatting, etc.) with an intelligent person.

The last answer implies some kind of continuation, like:

Who are you communicating with? (Who is this smart guy?)
With you (You).

How do you feel about social networks, how much time do you spend? What is your Instagram handle?

Common reaction: Confusion and wondering if all the photos from the last party will be deleted before HR gets to their desk after the meeting ends.

What to do: Here you need to emphasize that you clearly control the time spent on social networks. And it never affected the quality of your work. If you are a specialist whose part of your work is based on the Internet (PR manager, journalist, recruiter, designer and many others), then you need to focus on how you fulfill your obligations and what you have already been able to achieve.

"How are you?" — What to say to a guy you like

From this simple question you can inflate an invitation to some action or conversation

Today I have a payday at work, and my mood matches the size of my salary.
I have a bottle of good, Armenian, five-star mood, if only you were around - and everything would be gorgeous.
I want to lift my nose up, but he looks down with a hook...

The first example is intriguing because I want to ask further: “What is your salary?” After this, you can start a long, unobtrusive conversation.

The second example is an open invitation to spend the evening together.

The third answer will indicate that you cannot cheer yourself up, but still try to joke. This is a veiled invitation to action. The guy will have to either entertain you over the phone or offer to go somewhere together.

Convince us why we should hire you?

Frequent answer: Because I'm the best in this field!

In fact: The question is definitely puzzling if it is asked after you have already conducted a self-presentation in great detail. That's what it's all about. You must have several arguments, not so much professional as psychological. It is at this moment that you can be smart and show those personality traits that are not displayed in your resume. For example, one of our candidates had success when he answered: “Because I am dressed in the corporate colors of your company” or another answer: “I am a master of sports in hockey and can make your corporate hockey team a leader.”

How to answer your ex-boyfriend’s question “how are you?” in order to hurt him

Such questions from “ex” are not always sincere. Often a guy may want to tease you. And what’s most interesting is that this is done because the “ex” himself feels awkward when meeting you, but wants to show that he is on horseback.

Therefore, you need to answer in such a way as to upset him:

I was in a wonderful mood until I met you, my dear.
Great. What did you think that without you the Earth would stop rotating?
I’m creaking slowly, and quite annoyingly!
I won’t tell you, otherwise you’ll be jealous!
Great, unlike some.
Sorry, I had an autism attack when I saw you.

Why did a person I don’t know well ask such a question?

You can also highlight the following reasons that are suitable for a short-lived friendship:

Diffidence. Some friends, over time, realizing what a good person you are, may think that they are unworthy of such friendship. Alas, both strong and insecure people can take the path of breaking up a relationship.
Desire to receive a compliment. Even if this person is not very close to you, do you really want to offend him? Therefore, in most cases, you will support him and say a couple of compliments.
Self-love. If this question begins to be asked too often, then in most cases the reason is to show off. Well, at the same time, check whether your friend is still important to you.
Wants to get rid of friendship and any relationship with you. By asking such a question, a person forces you to think and hopes that you will not be able to find a significant answer. If the answer is still not found, then you can blame you for breaking contacts, clearing yourself.

If you have successfully figured out the reason, then you can move on to the next point, which will help you formulate the correct answer to the question posed.

How to answer a stranger’s question: “how are you?”

They say that this method of communication or dating is common in the USA, but our people are not so liberated, and some still consider ordinary street dating bad manners. And if you don’t think so yourself, then you may simply not like the person you’re talking to who just dropped on your head out of nowhere.

Then you can “shave it off”:

What are you talking about?
Which ones exactly?
So, can you help?
What do you think?
Why do you need my business?
Absolutely nothing;
I'm doing my homework, I can't be distracted.
Sorry, but I'm busy;
Working;
I'm watching a movie;
How are you?
Why do you want it?
Is this really important for you to know?
I’m thinking about how to get rid of an annoying interlocutor.

It’s good to answer something in rhyme:

Not a bump on the head!
I bought some pants!
Like a church mouse!
We drank all the money.

Will you continue to work for us if we stop paying you?

Finally, an interesting story from colleagues. Several successful and professionally qualified candidates were rejected by the client citing lack of motivation. After doing a little research, we found out that all of them were asked the question: “Will you continue to work for us if we stop paying you money?” Our candidates often answered “yes,” believing that this was the expected answer. However, the employer, a serious international vendor, wanted to find purposeful people who knew their worth.

Summing up, I hasten to note that the most important thing to remember during an interview is goodwill, a positive attitude and interest in the ongoing meeting.

Cool answers to banal questions

In addition to the question “How are you?”, there are several more banal questions that you have to face almost every day. And if questions of this kind bother you with their triviality, then you can diversify everything with the help of answers.

1) How are you doing?

I am like Mars - there is no life, but everything is on fire.
But things have already passed by.
Some have it worse.
What's going on? Everything has already been handed over to the investigative committee.
I feel like a zebra.
Nothing has changed since yesterday's meeting.
Everything seems to be great, but, unfortunately, no one is jealous.
Life hits you over the head with a monkey wrench.
I'm like a button - every time - in a loop.
“That’s bad” (and let them guess where the mistake is).

2) What do you do?

I draw American presidents.
I am hiding from Scotland Yard workers in the underground organization of Freemasons.
I spit at the ceiling and try to dodge.
I envy you with black envy.
I am growing above myself.
I print money on a printer.
I count the bribes, sitting behind the thick curtains.
I'm investigating the brutal murder of a huge fly in the student cafeteria.
I cleanse the aura of my phone book from evil spirits.
I am answering your text message.

3) How is life young?

Yes, just like the old one.
Oh, it’s not a young life anymore.
It sings, blooms and smells.
How about your old one?
When I return to my youth, I will tell you.
My life sent greetings to yours.
Getting younger every day.
I'll ask her now.
Yesterday I asked her, she says it’s not bad.
Yes, she somehow passed by, leaving me the old one.

4) What's personal?

Everything is fine (in rhyme).
I'm going on the offensive.
Many of you were killed.
Not calm.
Like in a fairy tale: the further you go, the scarier it gets!
Intense battles are taking place.
Indecent (again in rhyme).
The enemy is running.
The horizon is clear.
Came out the winner.

5) What's new?

What do you remember from the old days?..
Here, I bought bread...
I grow, bloom, get old, everything is as usual.
I met you here
It seems the rain is starting…
So you can’t tell right away...
It seems that a dictator came to power, but I don’t remember in which country.
I don’t know, probably another season of Santa Barbara.
275 puppies were born in the world.
The moon seems to have lost its course...

2. From the point of view of banal erudition, every local individual strives to mystify abstraction, but we should not neglect the tendencies of paradoxical illusions, as well as motivate the criteria of abstract subjectivism. Since your potential level is zero and tends to minus-infinity, I consider further conversation unprofitable...

3. From the point of view of banal erudition, not every local individual is able to ignore the extremely paradoxical possibilities of the human body and its subjective idealism, legitimized by the finitistic view of the essence of objective existence.

4. From the point of view of banal erudition, not every individual is able to ignore the phenomenon of tendency and determine it, because the interpretation of these tendencies is very banal.

5. From the point of view of banal erudition, it is impossible to deny the tendencies of paradoxical illusions, since every inadequate individual has his own point of view.

6. From the point of view of banal erudition, your concept in this interpretation is very trivial, because not every humanoid individual is able to interpret it within the framework of paradoxical thinking.

7. From the point of view of banal erudition, every local individual, metavising abstraction, should not neglect the criteria of utopian subjectivism!

8. From the point of view of banal erudition, all the cynicism of your thoughts in this concept is equal to paradoxical illusions.

9. From the point of view of banal erudition, in the aspect of prismatic paradox, the cynicism of your words in this note is associated with the mystification of paradoxical illusions.

10. From the point of view of banal erudition, not every individual who critically metaphysites abstractions is able to refute the tendencies of paradoxical emotions.

11. From the point of view of banal erudition, not every individual is able to ignore the point of view of the banal tendency, which destroys the point of view of banal erudition.

12. From the point of view of banal erudition, not every locally selected individual is able to ignore the tendencies of potential emotions and parity allocate ambivalent quanta of logistics, extracted taking into account the anthropomorphic nature of heuristic genesis.

13. From the point of view of banal erudition, every locally-minded individual should not interfere with the tendencies of paradoxical illusions.

14. From the point of view of deduction, induction and brain production, you are incompetent in this matter, since every pessimistic individual catastrophically modifies the abstractions of real subjectivism.

What to ask instead of “how are you?”

How are you doing?
What's up?
Like at home?
How are things going, really?
What are you doing?
How was your day?
What happened at work (school)?
What did you do today?
What are your plans for the future?
How are you (yourself)?

All these questions also fall into the category of banal ones. They can be asked to any person, even a stranger. But if you want to show concern for someone, then you need to ask the person exactly what he is living with now. If you are studying, then ask a question regarding school, college, or institute. If you communicate with a young parent, then you need to ask how the child is. Conversations about babies can be truly endless. The only thing that can compete with this topic is a conversation about pets, because they are like children to us.

Passionate people have their own inexhaustible topics: theater, photography, literature, fine arts, dancing, electronics, cars, fishing, football... The main thing is to know what a person is passionate about, and to be at least a little in the subject. And then everything will work out!

Tell us about your parents

Frequent answer: It has nothing to do with my professional skills.

Fact: Many job seekers overreact, perceiving the question as an invasion of privacy. But since it is not uncommon, you need to be prepared for such a turn of events. It is important to understand that in most cases, the employer does not seek to get involved where he is not asked - the question is aimed more at building your behavior scenario. HR evaluates what kind of environment you come from, based on the theory that without the past there is no future. We advise you to tell your ancestry as honestly and positively as your convictions allow.

Method 1. Distract attention

An effective and peaceful way to avoid answering an incorrect question is to change the subject, and this must be done quickly and effectively so that the interlocutor does not have time to come to his senses. Shout "Fire!" It’s not worth it, but you can throw up a hot topic: “Why are we all talking about me, yes about me, Jolie and Pitt are getting divorced, how will they share the children?” You can discuss any burning topic, be it Kim Kardashian’s butt, the boss’s new hairstyle, rising gasoline prices, or snow falling in Africa.

Method 2. Shocking frankness

Sometimes the best way to get rid of obsessive attention is to start telling some sad story from your life in as much detail as possible. If an annoying colleague persistently asks if you had a quarrel with your guy, sit opposite, put on a sad face and start the story of your relationship, starting from the moment you met 10 years ago. There is less personal information, but more various details. For half an hour, describing the park where your first date took place and describing in detail what the ambiance and menu were in the cafe at your engagement party is just what you need. And if your lunch break comes to an end, and your colleague starts glancing nervously at his watch, don’t stop! If you wanted details, you got them!