Society12/25/2014
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You probably know those people who seem to be so charming that everyone without exception likes them. An amazing personality trait, usually called charisma, is difficult to define, however, this does not mean that this mysterious quality cannot be developed in oneself. There would be a desire! To help you, we have compiled a list of actions that will support and strengthen your charisma and self-confidence.
Master the “art of intimacy”
"Intimacy" is the most important aspect of charisma. Essentially, this is the ability to show your interlocutor that all your attention is focused on him.
In fact, the art of intimacy emphasizes one simple thing to always remember when developing charisma: you are in the background.
When you think of charisma, you can think of it as an attempt to, as they say, “present yourself,” to make a competent self-presentation. However, the paradoxical secret of charisma is that the main task here is not to trumpet everyone about your wonderful qualities, but to make people feel great around you.
True charisma is directed not inward to the individual, but outward, into the world. True, we all love ourselves very much, and we like to talk about ourselves. The people in your life who you find likable and charismatic are the ones who allow you to be yourself and talk about yourself. So be more positive, put your ego aside and turn all your attention to your interlocutor.
It's really very simple.
Pay attention to every word coming out of the other person's mouth. Imagine that you are watching an interesting film, or reading a book, and gradually getting to know the main character better. The most important thing here is to listen and not think about what you will say when he finishes.
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Nonverbal means of communication can be divided into four groups:
- Expressive movements - gait, facial expressions, posture, gestures.
- Visual contact – frequency and duration of visual interaction, direction of gaze.
- Tactile movements are the use of the senses of touch. This includes handshakes, kisses, and touching various parts of the interlocutor’s body.
- Movements in space - distance from the interlocutor, orientation, place at the table, etc.
It is through these non-verbal means that we convey the information that we want to broadcast to the audience. And it is this information that either attracts attention or remains of little significance to the audience.
Charismatic, attention-grabbing people are usually friendly and well-meaning. Their friendliness is expressed in gestures, in posture, in the energy they emit, how they present themselves, and what they say in body language. We see them as energetic, confident, friendly people who smile, are eager to communicate, and have an open body language.
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Master the art of conversation
First of all, decide what you want and don't want to say. When in the middle of a conversation there is something that makes you embarrassed, the tone of the conversation may change or even the conversation will simply end if your interlocutor is tactful and does not want to make you awkward.
Good communicators also know how to raise those around them to their level. Talk and share your experience. Use humor, refer to quotes, read the book “How to become an interesting conversationalist.”
And last but not least: the ability to ask questions. People like to be heard. The one who asks the questions usually controls the meeting. Plus, asking the right question can reveal more about the depth of your knowledge than annoying boasting.
Many books are devoted to the ability to ask the right questions, but we want to especially about Jim Camp. This author has built one of the most effective negotiation systems, one of the main aspects of which is the ability to ask the interlocutor the right questions.
Imagine yourself as a talk show host. These shows are hosted by nice, charismatic, charming and funny people, but most of the time they do nothing but ask questions. Because charisma is mostly about listening to others, not about talking about yourself.
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How to get attention from parents?
Our parents raise us from childhood, we get used to them and trust them completely. And when we do not receive due attention from them, we feel insecure and even unprotected, which greatly affects our self-esteem. So use the following tips to win them over.
1. Try to have a frank conversation with your parents and tell them how much you miss them. Explain to them that right now you need their attention and care.
2. Together remember funny incidents from your childhood and talk about them. Think about times when your parents were very worried about you, for example when you got lost. This will bring back warm memories and have the desired effect.
3. Tell your parents your deepest secrets. They will understand that you trust them and may share theirs, thereby strengthening the bond between you.
4. In your free time, invite your parents to take a walk with you, go to the cinema, or a cafe. Surely they will not refuse and you will spend time together, which will bring you even closer.
5. Do not refuse your parents your help, but it is best to take the initiative yourself. Then they will have free time to spend with you.
6. Listen to what your parents tell you. Perhaps you should take their advice and change? As you know, parents want only the best for their child.
Practice effective eye contact
Sometimes good eye contact helps in communication better than any words. Proper eye contact can show that you are listening, that you are interested, and that you understand the other person as a person.
A gaze directed at the floor or a wandering gaze shows that the interlocutor is not interesting to you and that your attention is focused on something else.
Training eye contact is difficult, but still possible. Try holding eye contact for a second longer than usual. How does this make you feel? How does your interlocutor feel? Remember: there are plenty of opportunities to try this. Train on waiters, bartenders, cashiers.
Over time, you will begin to get a feel for what works and what doesn't.
When making eye contact, it is important how long it lasts. If you are unsure of yourself and don't know how to start, try focusing on the color of your interlocutor's eyes. Try to notice the eye color of every person you interact with and make it a habit. This is the type of eye contact that will help you appear more confident without sounding weird.
Are men attracted to looks like the one in the picture?
For a man to pay attention to you, you don’t have to look like a glossy magazine model. You should not adjust your appearance to a fashionable template, losing its uniqueness and originality. Most men like the natural, natural beauty of a girl. Excessive, especially poorly applied, makeup has a repulsive effect on many guys. They are more likely to be attracted to a well-groomed woman with a good manicure, pedicure and hairstyle. Therefore, try to visit a beauty salon to carry out these procedures or learn how to do them yourself.
Neatness and grooming have always been the key to the attention of men. Even the best outfit can't hide unwashed hair and dirty nails. Clothing must also be spotlessly clean and ironed. You don't have to have a huge wardrobe. It is important to be able to correctly arrange basic things in order to always look attractive. And for special occasions, learn to think through the image in advance.
Observe the following five points strictly:
- A modern girl cannot be ugly. Constantly maintain your image, take care of your appearance, be careful in everything. Pay special attention to hair, nails, and skin.
- The most beautiful facial features will remain invisible to men against the backdrop of unkempt hair and nails.
- Try to get your nails done regularly, keep your hair clean and your skin well-groomed. Do not allow blackheads, peeling or greasy shine to appear on it.
- Hygiene comes first. Don't forget about removing unwanted hair on your legs, bikini area and armpits. Clothes should always be fresh and ironed. Always looking neat and tidy is your key to success.
- Makeup requires special attention. Just strive to emphasize the natural beauty of your eyes, fullness of your lips, and the purity of your skin, without applying a ton of decorative cosmetics to your face. All imperfections can be very skillfully hidden by focusing on naturalness.
Use your body to express emotions
Use your own body to emphasize and intensify sensations and emotions: gesticulate, smile, be animated, but do not overdo it: do not spin around like a spinning top. Simply emphasize your positive emotions from communication with facial expressions and gestures.
And a few more words about bad types of expressive behavior. For example, nodding is a great way to show someone that you are listening. But too many nods are bad; it’s better to do nothing at all. Because in this case, the interlocutor will quickly understand that you are only trying to show that you are listening, after which he will feel stupid.
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Fourth stimulus: “Animals”
You've probably heard the joke: if you want to attract more attention, place a cat. And what's most amazing is that it still works. Our ancestors simply needed the skill of quickly recognizing animals, especially predators. And we have inherited these mechanisms. No particular animal captures our attention completely and 100%, just like faces and bodies, we recognize geometry. However, some animals attract more attention than others (more on that later).
If in doubt, “mirror”
“Mirroring” is the easiest way to add charisma to yourself. Match the other person's demeanor and level of expression and you will see how well they begin to respond to it. You don't need to agree with everything your interlocutor says or does, just try to behave and act the way he does.
You can also try to “mirror” useful qualities that you see in others. In general, when it comes to charisma, observing others becomes the main tool and success factor. Take a closer look and adopt. After all, this is how children learn basic life skills from adults—through copying.
Feel free to use this method. Copying can even give you additional confidence: by feeling “in someone else's shoes,” you will automatically look at the world from a slightly different angle.
Seventh incentive: “Unpredictability”
If incentives don't help us achieve our goals, we begin to ignore them. A great example is banner advertising. At first it was noticeable and worked great, but over time, most users developed “banner blindness.” To overcome this barrier we need something unpredictable. Here are two tips: Taboo and Novelty.
7.1. Taboo
Taboo words attract more attention than any other emotional words. This category includes "Sex", "swearing", "profanity".
These techniques work better by ear, for example, some speakers maintain attention by cursing someone.
7.2. Novelty
Today, the child sees more and more new and unusual than familiar images. Our ancestors had a better chance of surviving because... they usually dealt with the same things and were wary of anything new. Therefore, novelty is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, novelty attracts attention. But on the other hand, people don’t like new things and avoid them. Exit? Combining familiar stimuli to create something new:
Consider anthropomorphism. This concept gives human qualities to inanimate objects or animals.
The end result is a new stimulus, thus capturing attention. However, the core components are familiar, thus maintaining a favorable rating. Habituation also occurs with requests. Over time, we develop a standard denial. If a passerby asks for money, most people will immediately refuse. This is a reflex. However, the researchers discovered an interesting pattern. They received more money when they asked for a non-standard amount, such as 37 kopecks rather than 25 or 50.
Website speed value
Provide your site with the fastest possible speed.
It is important. If the pages load poorly, there is a high chance of losing a visitor. Even if he is interested in the content of the proposed pages, the slow speed of their loading will distract him from reading. In addition, speed also affects positions in search engine promotion of a website.
Usability guru Jakob Nielsen
claims that 0.1 seconds of site loading is exactly the time that provides a feeling of instantaneous response. 1 second still allows the user not to feel discomfort, but 10 seconds is almost a guarantee that the visitor will leave the site.
Use tools to measure site loading speed.
In Firefox
noticed that when their site began to load 1 second slower, this resulted in a 2.7% decrease in conversions.
Bing and Google
found that a 0.4c faster loading time ensured that users stayed on sites longer:
Amazon
reported that a 100ms increase in site speed provided a 1% increase in revenue .
How to make a website faster:
- Use Google PageSpeed
to find out how you can improve your site's performance. - Use HTTP caching
. - Use a CDN
.
Intrigue and arouse curiosity
It's understandable that most of us are looking for a guaranteed approach to success. As a rule, these are guys or girls who have no experience in street dating. For example, you can start a conversation with the question:
— Let me ask you an unusual question. Do you dance?
Apparently, the phrase “unusual question” certainly arouses curiosity, and the use of “vague” words that few people understand inspires one to find one’s own interpretations.
Photo: Depositphotos
Agree that even if to you and asks you something, especially something unusual, you are unlikely to be able to ignore this question or answer something rather sharp.
Humor and freedom
This is one of the oldest and most effective ways to get strangers to communicate. Allow yourself to joke and be more free in your behavior. This way to attract attention is much better than if in a conversation with a person you are “Miss or Mr. Seriousness,” because it costs nothing to just smile when talking with another person, especially if this person is not indifferent to you. Even a simple and casual joke on your part can very easily turn the conversation with this person in your direction.
Types of rituals
There are different types of rituals:
- Some conspiracies are designed to bring many new acquaintances into a person’s life, people with whom you can chat, have fun, or go on vacation. This method is often used by single people.
- There are spells that are used to strengthen existing friendships.
- Some rituals are designed to find one friend you can always rely on.
The choice depends on the person's ultimate goal.
For a new friend
It is better to direct conspiracies to people you know with whom you are going to make friends. But there are also spells to attract public attention. This ritual will give you more charm and self-confidence, and awaken genuine interest in those around you. It is better to read the text of the conspiracy after sunset.
After the sun has set, you can read this plot.
There is another simple ritual that is suitable for people who want to win the favor of the team and relieve stress at work. During the week, in the morning before leaving the house, you need to read the words of the conspiracy.
Say the spell before leaving the house.
These words will help you become the soul of the team and improve relations with your superiors.
If you are in doubt about whether to use spells, you can perform a simpler and safer ritual. To do this, you will need a pot for house plants filled with soil, and a piece of paper with the name of an acquaintance written on it, in whom you see a potential friend.
You need to plant the seeds or bulb of any flower (for example, daffodil or tulip) in the soil along with a note. As the plant grows, so will your friendship.
To improve relations
Sometimes disagreements arise between friends, as a result of which they communicate less and spend almost no time together. You can strengthen your friendship with a girl using magic. It is better to learn the text of the conspiracy by heart.
To reconcile with a girl, learn this spell and read it twice a day.
The spell must be repeated for a week, morning and evening.
If you need to make friends with a man, you will need a different ritual. In the evening, take a piece of paper and write your names next to it. The note must be set on fire from a candle flame and the plot must be read while the paper is burning.
For friendship with a man.
Ashes from burnt paper should be scattered to the wind.
For strong friendship
To strengthen your relationship with a friend, you need to find his photo or personal item. Wait until the waxing moon phase begins - then you can begin the ritual. It is carried out at the window: you need to take a photo and position yourself so that the moonlight falls on your hands.
We pronounce the spell on the waxing moon.
There is another powerful ritual for strong friendship. But this ritual belongs to black magic and, if performed incorrectly, will do more harm than good.
The plot is best read after midnight. Buy 2 black candles, light them, and place a treat for your potential friend on the table between them (chocolate is a good option).
The next day, the charmed treat must be offered to the person (only the object of the ritual should eat it, no one else).
For reconciliation
Sometimes, despite strong feelings, misunderstandings still arise between friends, which can lead to the gradual destruction of relationships. In such cases, you can also use magic.
A gift plot will be effective. You need to buy some kind of souvenir or thing that will please your friend. Pack the gift beautifully, and after sunset read the text of the conspiracy over it.
We carry out a conspiracy for a gift for a friend.
The next day, the charmed souvenir should be presented as a gift to a loved one, but this should be done with sincere faith in strengthening relationships and hope for a better future.
To renew friendly relations
If at some point the friendship was interrupted, it can be returned with the help of a conspiracy. In the evening, you need to light a candle brought from church, peer into the flame, concentrate and read the simple text of the spell.
To perform another ritual you will need 3 church candles. They need to be placed on the table in a triangle, and a cosmetic mirror should be placed behind them. Concentrating on the flame, you need to cast a spell.
The candles should burn out almost completely. The cinders and the mirror should be wrapped in a clean cloth or handkerchief, hidden in a secret place and not touched unless necessary.
People don't read, they skim
We know that people don't read everything on our site.
And there's no way to change it. All you can do is give them the opportunity to get as much interesting information as possible while they browse the pages, and also clearly highlight what is important to them.
Research shows that people browse pages in an F shape:
Show examples
The phrase “let me show you what I mean” is one of the best ways to assert your position when you want to explain or prove something.
Such a phrase attracts attention in anticipation of a visual continuation of the sentence, which the brain really appreciates. When evaluating a product or service, the brain works to analyze the information offered and draw conclusions and make a decision. Images are a great way to demonstrate something visually and provide answers to many of the questions the brain asks.
The brain “loves” visual stimuli because they are processed faster than words. This is why you must always provide clear examples of what you are trying to explain in words.