Pick-up artists cheat for sex for money: fiction or reality?

Pickup (from the English pick up, literally translated “to pick up”) is the art of seduction; a type of human activity, as well as the name of a social movement (usually male), whose goal is to develop in men the necessary skills, with the help of which they can subsequently find a girl without any problems, seduce her and, if desired, build a relationship.

At its core, a pickup truck answers the question “How to seduce a woman?”, but is not limited to this.

Any interaction with people becomes a source of personal development, as well as self-improvement in the field of communication. And the pickup truck is no exception to this.

Pickup artist is a man who does pickup trucks. Well, what can I say... Almost every man is a bit of a pick-up artist.

Pickup history

Start

In popular science literature, the ideas of a pickup truck were first reflected in the book “Who does a woman want? A Practical Guide to Erotic Seduction” by psychologists Albert Ellis and Roger Conway (USA), published in 1967.

In 1970, Eric Weber’s (USA) book “How to Meet Girls” was born, which laid the foundation for the theory of the modern pickup truck.

It was Eric Weber who coined the word pickup in the context of seducing women.

NLP

At the same time, in the 1960-1970s, John Grinder and Richard Bandler (USA) jointly developed a new direction in psychotherapy and practical psychology - NLP (neuro-linguistic programming).

To put it simply, NLP, thanks to various techniques of verbal and non-verbal influence on another person, helps to force him to do something that he did not originally intend to do.

Surely anyone who has dealt with direct sales, acting as a “sales person,” has adopted some NLP principles and techniques.

Ross Jeffries

In the late 1980s, Ross Jeffries (USA), who studied NLP under the guidance of Richard Bandler, subsequently applied the acquired knowledge and skills to create his own method, called “fast seduction.”

It is Ross Jeffries who is considered the founder of the pickup artist movement.

In 1992, Ross Jeffries, under the pseudonym Gregory Madison, wrote the book “How to Get the Woman of Your Dreams into Bed.” Undoubtedly, the book was imbued with various manipulative techniques, the legs of which grew out of NLP.

In 1994, a student of Ross Jeffries created an online community dedicated to seducing women, i.e. The year indicated dates back to the birth of the pickup movement as such. This Internet resource gave rise to a wave of various forums and sites, the purpose of which was to exchange information on the topic of pickup.

Read: the best books on pickup trucks

The main problem with the theoretical part of the 90s pickup truck was the obvious difficulty of its practical application.

If you are not a psychologist who has been practicing NLP for a long time, then it is very difficult for you to start applying the proposed techniques in practice.

Imagine for yourself. You are a novice seducer and therefore are scared to death of girls. And instead of approaching a stranger in a relaxed state and starting a casual conversation, you, shaking with fear, try to remember which technique to use at one time or another, try to think about rapport, concruence and other elements of the NLP theoretical framework.

At a minimum it is difficult, at a maximum it is impossible.

In addition, the manipulative approach of the nascent pickup truck often conflicted with moral principles. A considerable number of people considered pickup to be an unethical activity and criticized it.

Therefore, in accordance with the emerging needs, pickup methods have taken the path of evolution.

Mystery

A prominent figure in the pickup scene, Eric von Markovic (Canada), also known under the nickname Mystery, decided to keep up with his predecessors and in 2005 published the book “The Mystery Method,” in which the pickup truck took a form that was more in line with moral standards society, and has also become clearer to understand and easier to use.

In addition, the approach to determining the effectiveness of seduction has changed.

For the first time, more attention was paid not so much to the development of various techniques, but to the awareness of male value in the eyes of women and better positioning of oneself in the communication process, i.e. the main thing is who you are, how you see yourself, and not how many techniques you have practiced.

Even Ross Jeffries himself, despite the obvious NLP focus of his book, reflected the following lines in it:

Success with women has nothing to do with what you do with them or how you treat them. This success depends on how you treat yourself. Ross Jeffries

Mystery formulated the answer to the question of what attractive men have as follows: they have high social value, or “high survival and reproduction value.”

Values ​​for reproduction include the appearance and health of a man.

Survival values ​​include financial security, physical strength, leadership skills, resilience in conflict situations, problem-solving ability, etc.

Mystery notes that a man's survival value takes precedence in the eyes of most women over his reproductive value.

It follows that in order to become attractive, you should start building a career, earning enough money, playing sports and developing self-confidence, without avoiding conflicts and life problems.

Markovic agrees with this, but his idea has a slightly different meaning.

If a young man has a high survival value, but at the same time tries to impress a girl, to interest her in this (bragging about money, position, etc.), he most likely will not achieve his goal.

By boasting and trying to ingratiate himself, he, on the contrary, shows his low value, because he reveals himself as a person who lacks attention. He begins to act as a needy person.

This gave Markovik the idea that it is not so important what value a man has, what matters is how he behaves.

Therefore, the cornerstone of his method was the “demonstration” of high value, which turns on the woman's attraction switch.

It is often emphasized that one must be confident. But in fact, the most important internal state in renting is comfort. Your body should reflect this. Relax, relax your eyelids, take a comfortable piece of space. Sit back and make yourself at home. Mystery

Thus, Mystery was the first to lay the foundations for such a direction of the pickup movement as social dynamics , the development of which he began...

Tyler Durden

Owen Cook (Canada) (nickname - Tyler, Tyler Durden, TD) - in a sense, a student of Mystery and Neil Strauss, who developed his theory of seduction, Real Social Dynamics (RSD).

RSD is based on social dynamics, i.e. a pickup without the usual tactics and templates. Tyler developed the concept of value and took it to its logical conclusion.

Tyler believes that anyone can become attractive, regardless of their morals, views and social status. Appearance, income and age have very little influence on attractiveness.

Your attractiveness is not your actions, but your inner essence. This cannot be achieved by learning pickup techniques, as many people think. This can only be achieved through awareness of what it means to be yourself and how to reveal your best sides. Tyler Durden

Comments

Katya, 21 years old

The categories Alexander uses sound unattractive. He himself claims: it is important how you say, not what you say. In this text, the chosen “how” seems completely unfortunate.

One gets the impression that Alexander is a person who thinks in a minimal set of categories. He is familiar with several mainstream theoretical constructs that describe human behavior. However, he underestimates their aesthetic orientations and the importance of personal space. For his own practice these meager concepts may be sufficient. With a wide selection of girls and the ability to get to know them in an assembly line way, sooner or later there will be those for whom Alexander’s algorithms will work - as in the infinite monkey theorem. I wouldn't pass this off as an examination.

If I were him, I would limit the range of recommendations to two that are truly worthwhile, but it is difficult to get paid for them: firstly, work on your own emancipation and, secondly, do not manipulate your interlocutor.

These are skills that many people lack in any kind of communication. If everyone around them develops themselves according to these two parameters, the pickup truck will become extinct. This will be nice, because the pickup truck supports the myth of the mandatory manifestation of masculinity on the part of guys, but in fact it only makes building relationships, especially sexual ones, much more difficult. A pickup truck stigmatizes initiative on the part of a girl, although not always in an obvious way. Judging by the paternalism towards the girls, Alexander himself is a hostage to this myth.

Polina, 21 years old

It’s hard for me to understand to whom Alexander can say such things. I literally cannot imagine telling any man, “You are either a sponsor or a lover. It's better to be a lover." And he replies: “Okay, I’ll try to become a lover.” Such words can probably only be perceived by people in a depressed state. But making money from those who need psychological help or just support is not good.

Apart from the obvious things like machismo and objectification, what irritates me in this text is the attempt to speak scientifically.

For example, mentions without links to statistics or research - “less than 1% of people are passionate about self-development”, “studies show that all girls are bisexual”, references to Sigmund Freud (oh no!) or use of terms. Usually they do this to appear smarter and more truthful. In support groups or classes where I went, the leaders never said that, although they were always people with higher psychological education.

The only thing that slightly reduced my anxiety level was Alexander’s statement that a woman might not want sex. It seems to me that this is often not taken into account in similar trainings.

What do they teach in a pickup truck?

Let's look at the basic skills that are developed in pickup training.

What phrases to start getting acquainted with

Often men get very fixated on what is the best thing to say to a girl when approaching her.

To approach a girl, you will be instructed on what phrases to start your acquaintance with. Maybe they will tell you that the best phrase at the moment of approach will be the phrase that comes to your mind at that moment.

Over time, you will understand that phrases by themselves do not have fundamental meaning.

How to approach a girl and get to know her

The fear of approaching an unfamiliar girl with the aim of getting to know each other, especially in a place not intended for acquaintance, is similar to the fear of public speaking. In short, for most men it’s a total ambush.

But it's one thing to make a successful approach, and another to walk away after being rejected. The fear of rejection is inextricably linked with the fear of approach.

But in general, the problem is the lack of experience that pickup training will force you to gain.

Perhaps you will be told that there is nothing terrible in approaching girls (and this is true), that you should not look at a girl solely as an object of attraction, but should look at her as an ordinary person, for example, as a cleaner who sweeps the street broom

You will understand everything, nod your head and agree, but when the moment comes to approach and meet a girl on the street, you will be overcome by jitters.

Imagine that you decide to bungee jump from a bridge. It seemed to you that the preparatory stage would last forever, when suddenly, turning to you, the instructor shouted “Jump,” but for some reason your legs did not obey. You are not even an inch closer to the cliff.

Therefore, sometimes you need a person nearby who will push you forward when your whole nature demands to stay in place in your usual comfort zone.

And when you jump from the bridge and fall down, you will be overcome by indescribably strong emotions. Perhaps you will experience wild horror.

But at that moment, when the elastic band stretches and you rush upward, your fear in an instant, as if by magic, transforms into delight. You will have an amazing experience.

When you make attempts to meet people on the street as part of pick-up training, there will be a support nearby - a pick-up trainer who will make sure that you get the magic kick and don’t give up on what you originally planned.

And after making several approaches to girls, something inside you will break. You will never be the same again.

How to get a girl's phone number

One of the reasons for your approach to the girl will be the further development of your acquaintance, for which you, of course, will have to exchange contacts with her.

How to talk to a girl on the phone

To ask a girl out on a date, you will have to call her and communicate audiotually.

They will tell you when to call a girl, what to tell her, and also, perhaps, they will share ways to create intrigue and ignite a woman’s desire to meet you through correspondence in instant messengers even before making a phone call.

How to have a date

The preparatory stages are over, and you are already very close to the climax.

Therefore, you will be taught:

• Where to invite a girl on a date.
• How to have a date with a girl.
• What to talk about with a girl on a date.
• How to touch a girl on a date.
• How to invite a girl home on the first date.

Is it worth taking pickup training?

You can learn to seduce women on your own and without pick-up training.

Benefits of completing pickup training:

1. Learning happens faster.
2. By paying money, you will be more responsible about the tasks assigned.
3. There will always be a support next to you, so there will be no space.

In other words, if you don’t mind the money or have problems with willpower, it may be better to sign up for pickup training.

However, it should be borne in mind that almost all pickup schools lead away from the real state of affairs in the field of seduction, some of them tolerably, others very significantly. Sometimes, learning to pick up in general can, with its techniques, aggravate the already not the best state of the love life of its adherents, discouraging any desire to get acquainted with girls.

And even the American school RSD, respected by the author of this article, which really stands out from other directions, is not without sin, since it strives, by participating in the pursuit of the commercial component, to hook guys on a new dose of pickup courses.

Men's roles in relationships

A man in a relationship with a girl can play two roles: lover and sponsor.

Guys usually follow the “sponsor” path, so they don’t have many girls. More often than not, they fail to start a relationship at all - they end up in the friend zone. In order for everything to work out with a girl, you need to act like a lover. First, sleep with her, and then take a step back - arrange romantic dates, start dating her. After a guy has slept with a girl more than three times, it clicks in her head - you are dating. If he goes the second route - flowers, 10 dates, etc. - most likely he won't sleep with her. And if he doesn’t sleep with you, he won’t build any relationships.

First of all, a guy needs to learn a few things: making acquaintances, building comfort and creating attraction. The path of a sponsor is long and hard. It runs through logic and investment (financial, time, emotional, social). It is very difficult to move from the state of a sponsor to the state of a lover. And from lover to sponsor - it’s easy.

Pros and cons of a pickup truck

Pros of a pickup truck

1. Your problem with the lack of love affairs in your life disappears, at least in theory. In practice, a lot depends on you.
2. You can find the best candidate for the role of a girl for a serious relationship if you develop the necessary pickup skills.
3. It becomes much easier for you to get along with people, and not just women.
4. You become better and more confident in yourself, having gotten rid of many complexes, if the pickup itself as a whole does not contradict your nature. Otherwise, a backlash may occur.
5. You learn to create circumstances, and not be their hostage.

Cons of a pickup truck

1. You can start to have a consumerist attitude towards women, because the value of a woman in your eyes is falling.
2. The girls start to look the same.
3. The thought may arise: “What if I can find something even better,” which makes it difficult for you to stop your choice and start a relationship.
4. It is possible that if you do not receive the expected result, a negative aftertaste will arise. In many cases this is what happens.

A little about porn videos and sex for money

The videos containing in their title “Pickup artists scam you into sex for money” are 100% staged, like most similar products, even if the creators want to convince you of the opposite.

Sex for money contradicts the ideology of pickup. A woman must give a man everything he wants for nothing, free of charge, that is, for nothing. Therefore, offering money for sex has nothing to do with pickup. The creators of seduction techniques say that a woman can be put into bed without lengthy courtship (the shortest possible period is a couple of hours).

A girl who agrees to give herself to a man after a few minutes of acquaintance should arouse suspicion rather than joy. Usually this is either an adventure hunter, a swindler, or a professional with clear tariffs for services. In any case, a set of troubles is guaranteed.

Who are pick-up artists

Who are pick-up artists? The opinion of ordinary people from the outside

• A pick-up artist is a man who collects girls' phone numbers.
• He pesters girls on the streets.
• He's trying to make light of things.
• An insecure guy who clumsily tries to pass himself off as a real man.
• Scoundrel.
• Womanizer.
• He has problems with women.
• He doesn't value women.
• He is driven only by the realization of men's needs.
• Interesting, cheerful personality.
• Not serious.

Who are pick-up artists? Opinion from inside

• A successful pick-up artist is a man who has decided to become successful with women.
• He strives for personal development.
• He loves women.
• He knows how to seduce women.
• He overcame his fear of approaching a woman, or, more precisely, reduced the level of its impact on himself.
• He doesn't bother with refusals.
• He knows how to initiate communication and develop it in the right direction.
• He enjoys the dating process, if he is not yet tired of the pickup itself.
• A pickup artist with successful experience actually has a lot of women.
• He knows what he wants.
• The pick-up artist does not reason, but acts.
• Most often, he is an open, cheerful and positive person.

In general, just as each social sphere includes people with completely different levels of culture, education, moral principles and personal characteristics, pickup artists are similarly different.

And if a person, so to speak, is not a very good person, then in a pickup truck he will behave accordingly.

What goals does the pickup artist pursue?

1. Seduce a girl.
2. Find a worthy girl for a relationship.
3. Improving communication skills.
4. Personal development.
5. Have a fun and interesting time.
6. Anything else that's on his mind.

How former pickup gurus grow up

Journalist Neil Strauss, who after the release of the book “The Game” became one of the main pickup gurus in the United States, ten years later published the book “The Truth.” He initially wanted to write about the breakdown of modern marriage and explore new forms of non-monogamous relationships. Plans changed.

After cheating on his girlfriend with her close friend, he ended up in a psychiatric clinic with a diagnosis of sex addiction. In the end, he returns to where he should have started - to his own emotional problems.

He admits that for several years he could perceive any woman only as a sexual target. In his youth and adolescence, his mother controlled his relationships: she even forbade him to date girls whom she considered unsuitable. Hence the desire for sex without intimacy, the fear of being vulnerable in front of another person and in front of oneself.

“The rules of the Game involve treating a woman more as an object than as a person—I see this very clearly now. Apparently, my self-esteem was so low that I tried to increase it by being content with the bodies of other people, without thinking about any other contact. And hanging out with women was just an opportunity to feel better, not an opportunity to connect with another human being.”

Famous Russian pick-up artists

Consider the old-school pickup truck masters.

Philip Bogachev

A well-known personality in the field of Russian pickup trucks, since he was at its origins.

He is a kind of Russian prototype of Ross Jeffries, because he actively developed the pickup truck at the very beginning of its emergence on the territory of the Russian Federation, and also permeated his ideas in the field of seduction and the books he wrote with an endless number of techniques that migrated from NLP.

In 2002, he founded a training school (RMES), whose branches operate in many cities in Russia and abroad.

Alex Leslie

Real name: Alexander Kirillov. Native of Vitebsk, Belarus.

If the concepts of Philip Bogachev are reminiscent of the methods of Ross Jeffries, then Alex Leslie, at the very beginning of his activities in the field of pickup, promoted ideas that are close to the approach of the “Mystery Method”.

Alex Leslie does not deny that “tricks” that a novice seducer should learn are important in seduction. The main thing is technology, once you have mastered it, you will be able to do with women what you want. At the same time, the entire arsenal of techniques he proposes, if we exclude completely crazy techniques, is relatively easy to learn.

He advocates the greater effectiveness of non-directive dating (dating in a context where your true goal of the approach is disguised), and also promotes awareness of the importance of your value that you bring to the world, including to the world of women.

If Alex Leslie had read this article, he might have said, “What the…ren am I doing in this classification of pickup artists?”

The fact is that Leslie does not position himself as a pickup artist or pickup artist, does not consider himself part of the pickup artist movement, and the word pickup will not appear either in his books or at his seminars.

He believes that he is engaged in seduction, and his product is called “Seduction Style”.

Alesk Leslie was probably one of the first in Russia who decided to increase the efficiency of practicing pickup skills by removing from the theoretical part, if possible, all psychology and elements of NLP, leaving only what, in his opinion, relates directly to seduction.

And, on the one hand, this is really cool. But the seduction guru didn’t stop there.

Alex Leslie organizes trainings not only for men, but also teaches how to seduce women.

He promotes a healthy lifestyle, says “No” to alcohol, cigarettes and drugs, and also advocates polygamous relationships.

Among other things, Alex Leslie teaches men how to start harems, while he himself has a conditional harem, in which there are more than 10 girls.

Leslie is a rather strange and contradictory person, who has nevertheless reached considerable heights in her field of activity, but an ordinary average person is unlikely to be able to fully accept his opinions and views, and there is no reason to.

Egor Sheremetyev

It's time to introduce someone promoting ideas that are closest in spirit to Tyler Durden's project.

And in this case, we can mention Egor Sheremetyev, who studied in the USA at the American school RSD.

Egor Sheremetyev is a positive, charismatic pickup coach who believes that you and your attitude towards yourself are the basis for success with women.

Just like Tyler, Egor Sheremetyev recommends staying in the flow, being in this moment, not being captivated by thoughts about the future or memories of the past.

At the moment of approaching a girl, according to Yegor, the main thing is not what you say or how you say it, but the genuine feeling with which you begin the acquaintance.

Types of girls

1. Low self-esteem and low sex drive - run away.
2. Low self-esteem and high sex drive - sex for one night, maximum - sex for friendship. It is recommended not to start a serious relationship. You can make such a girl your partner for a pickup truck.
3. High self-esteem and low sexual drive are rare. Despite their low sexual drive, sexuality can be awakened in them.
4. High self-esteem and high sexual drive are worth leaving a place for her in your life. You can start a serious relationship with her or limit yourself to sex for one night.

Acquaintance

I went on a dating site. I’m scrolling through the photos of those the system offers me, and here on one is a gorgeous cat. The eyes - two huge orange saucers, the touching nose, the ears - I just fell in love. Naturally, I like the photo and write a comment: “What an incredibly beautiful cat!” and I forget.

Soon the answer arrives, everything is in the best traditions, and we start a conversation. In the same photo was the owner, in an embrace. I didn't even pay attention to him. What were you thinking?

We chatted nicely and switched to WhatsApp. By the way, guys, note the phrase how he did it:

“I’m here very rarely.”

I give my number either to particularly charismatic guys or to handsome guys.