“Does our relationship have a future?” Perhaps every woman has asked herself this question at least once in her life. Is it possible to recognize a relationship that is going nowhere? Yes - if you notice the “alarm bells” in time. Yulia Lanske, an expert in selecting the ideal couple and the author of an effective algorithm for a happy marriage, will help you identify obviously unpromising relationships that you definitely need to say goodbye to.
Different household habits
There are no couples in which the man and woman are alike in everything. However, for a relationship to be harmonious, partners must have the same everyday habits and similar lifestyles. If a man and a woman begin to have conflicts on domestic grounds, then it is unlikely that the lovers will be able to get along with each other. For example, in her free time a girl prefers to relax in noisy companies, and her man is a homebody. Or one of the partners never cleans up after themselves and constantly throws things around, while the other always makes sure that the house is perfectly clean. If agreement has not been reached on everyday issues, then the love boat risks breaking on this very everyday life.
Where everyday habits do not coincide, conflicts inevitably begin
I decided to file for divorce. At the beginning of the relationship, the husband seemed to more or less take care of himself, now he won’t even wash a cup or throw socks in the wash... Talking in an amicable way doesn’t help at all, the scandal with breaking dishes and swearing lasts for 2 days. I came to the conclusion that this is no longer a family, we need to get a divorce.
Irina
https://www.woman.ru/relations/marriage/thread/4964971/
Relationships are based on sex
Sex is the most important component of a healthy relationship between a man and a woman. However, if a union is built only on sex, it is unlikely to last long. Very often, lovers are too blinded by passion and because of this they become confident that this is true love. At the same time, the partners do not notice at all that in their relationship there is nothing but sex. In every couple, passion slowly fades away, and then deeper feelings come to replace it. If the partners’ relationship was based only on sex, then nothing can replace it and the union will collapse.
If a relationship is based only on sex, it won't last long.
I met a young man. The intimacy happened quite quickly, but everything was wonderful. After some time, I began to write less often; there were no compliments. I like him, but being just a sex partner doesn’t suit me. Maybe it's time to run before I fall deeper in love.
Oksana
https://www.woman.ru/relations/men/thread/4770760/
Holiday romances
Vacation romances are somewhat reminiscent of soap bubbles.
They are beautiful and airy, but at the first contact with an obstacle they burst, leaving behind only sticky foam. This happened with Lena’s holiday romance. While on vacation in Turkey, she met dance instructor Marat, with whom she immediately developed a passionate passion. The man seemed well-mannered and romantic, Lena immediately fell in love with him.
Returning home, the girl found out that she was pregnant. She decided to tell everything to her beloved, with whom she thought she was building a relationship. And then the once courteous Marat showed himself not at his best - he began shouting, waving his arms and, of course, refused to acknowledge paternity. The “soap bubble” burst, dousing Lena in foam from head to toe...
You shouldn't take holiday romances seriously if you don't want to get burned by harsh reality.
Only one partner solves problems
Very often, partners in a relationship are doing well, but as soon as a woman has a problem, the man withdraws and begins to come up with excuses. For example, he suddenly has serious troubles, there is a need to urgently leave somewhere or resolve important issues at work. As a result, the woman has to cope with her own problem on her own, but when she successfully solves it, the partner is announced. This is an example of an unreliable relationship whose future is extremely doubtful.
Lack of support in difficult times is one of the most obvious signs that a relationship has no future.
Yesterday I talked to my husband about how it’s hard for me without support. He said that he is not a nanny, he won’t run after me, sit and cry. He sees me in this state and goes somewhere on business. I write and cry out of resentment, either he is right, or I made a mistake in my choice.
Bun
https://forum.antivsd.ru/index.php?topic=18123.0
"Virtual love
“A girl living online, who found love between the lines...” Zemfira sings. Does your virtual romance really exist? Often, women who are in love with the image of their online lover add desired facets to virtual relationships that actually do not exist.
Unfortunately, men rarely take “networking” as something serious. Often they are driven not by love and romance, but by banal sexual interest.
Sveta refused a date with a work colleague. When asked “why”, the woman explained that at exactly 19:00 she gets in touch with her fiancé from France. They had never seen each other before, but they had been together for three years...
If a virtual romance lasts for years without ever coming into reality, it has no future. It’s better to come to terms with this and end the relationship in favor of others - perhaps less exalted, but real.
Different rates of development
It often happens that one partner gets an education, climbs the career ladder and improves in everything, while the second one stands still, degrades and does not want to follow the one who is developing. In such a situation, there are several options for solving the problem. Thus, a purposeful and hardworking person can lower himself to the level of his partner and change his lifestyle. Spend every evening watching TV, and on weekends relax with alcohol in the company of friends. However, people with ambitions are unlikely to be satisfied with this option, so most often they solve the problem in the second way - end the relationship. If partners continue to live together, but their levels of ambition are different, then they will not be able to tolerate each other for long.
If people have different levels of ambition, then they will not be able to tolerate each other for long
I'm constantly learning and growing. I began to feel that my level of development was moving further and further away from that of my husband. I recently met a man very similar to me. Now I don’t want to give birth to a child, because I’m afraid that I will leave my husband, and what can he teach the child if his level remains at the place where it is now.
Diana
https://www.consmed.ru/psiholog/view/490430/
The Unpleasant Truth
The most unpleasant thing about this whole situation is that you cannot know in advance what a person will become after a few years of relationship. Of course, a narrow-minded or inadequate candidate for the role of a partner can be rejected already on the first date. However, not all traits of people appear during the first acquaintance.
It is not clear how a person will behave in a stressful situation. What if problems and difficulties reveal something unpleasant or even dangerous in him? It is impossible to predict such an outcome. But you can predict it based on several signs.
Frequent quarrels
Many people are convinced that there should be quarrels in relationships. Otherwise, life will become boring and uninteresting. It’s just that boring relationships happen among boring people, for whom a quarrel is the only way to spice things up. Conflicts do not help achieve this goal. Only in the movies does a strong quarrel and a bright reconciliation in bed look beautiful. But in real life, constant scandals tire people and in the end they decide to end the relationship and build a calmer one, but with a different partner.
Constant conflicts exhaust people, and they prefer to leave in search of a quieter haven
I constantly argue with my husband. Now we are going to get a divorce. The reason for the quarrels is his attitude towards money. And now I’m in a position and my husband doesn’t want a close relationship. Now he doesn’t want to hear about restoring the relationship, he says that he’s just tired of constantly fighting and making up.
Kat
https://www.b17.ru/forum/topic.php?id=7274&p=2
Total control
A relationship in which one partner lacks trust in the other is reminiscent of real tyranny. It is expressed in constant bans on meeting friends, restrictions on personal freedom, control over the choice of clothing, place of work and hobbies. There is no point in hoping that a tyrant will ever change his behavior. On the contrary, over time, control will only increase, and the unfortunate victim will end such a toxic relationship.
If there is no trust in a couple, then this relationship smacks of real tyranny
I have a very jealous husband, every day there are insults and scandals over minor reasons. My patience is already at its limit, I’m very tired of this “marriage”, I’m trying my best to maintain peace in the family. So now I’m wondering if it’s possible to somehow fight such male jealousy or just cheat on him and calmly accept these insults because then they will be fair.
Anonymous
https://lady.mail.ru/forum/topic/ochen_revnivyj_muzh/
Constant grievances
Many women think that relationships can be saved if they do not tell their partner about their grievances. In fact, this only delays the day when all the negativity will burst out and the connection between people who were once in love with each other will be painfully severed. If a partner has offended you, then this offense will not go away, especially if the reasons for its occurrence do not disappear. If you keep everything to yourself, the accumulated grievances will cause severe stress and even illness. And the relationship will slowly but surely collapse.
If grievances accumulate inside, then the relationship slowly but surely collapses
My husband is my first and only love. Although now I don’t even know if the love remains. Constant quarrels and resentments. My husband very rarely praises me; I don’t get any compliments. My husband does not accept criticism addressed to him, there is only one answer - I don’t like it, let’s get a divorce. There are times when everything seems to be fine, but so many grievances and complaints have accumulated. Life passes, but there is no joy.
Arianna
https://psycheforum.ru/topic92369.html
Fantasies about others
If two people in love have a strong relationship, then neither of them will imagine themselves with others. Moreover, there can be no talk of experiencing attraction, flirting and mentally ending up in the same bed with them. Fantasizing about others is a sign that your partner does not suit you, and you want to get rid of a boring relationship in which your needs are not met. In an attempt to find missing emotions, many begin to fantasize about others, and this is a clear sign that the relationship has no future and should be ended.
Mentally sleeping with others and looking for real meetings is a clear sign that your partner is burdening you
It’s not always so perfect that you sleep with the one you want. I’m married, and I shouldn’t get a divorce because I want my ex-lover and not my husband, considering that he is suitable for the role of a husband. I just need to figure out what to do with this problem... personally, I haven’t figured it out yet.
Olga
https://www.psychologies.ru/forum/post/31723/
Do you want to get rid of your partner?
It happens that when there are no problems in a relationship, everything is fine and calm between the partners. But with the onset of the crisis, everything changes. For example, you were fired from your job, diagnosed with a terrible disease, or there was a need to move to another city or even country. Such stressful situations force you to look at your life with different eyes, and very often this leads to the understanding that your partner is not your person. He does not support and does not understand, thereby causing only anger and irritation. This is a sign that your relationship has deteriorated and it is best not to endure it any longer, but to break up with the person with whom you do not see a future together.
Lack of help and support from your partner is an indicator that you have not been a couple for a long time
With my first husband, after a year, it began to seem that he was not my man, then more often, then every day... and so we suffered for three years. My second husband is 100% my man, anything can happen, and I am offended by him, but I have never once allowed myself to think that he is not mine, for 7 years now I have felt that he is my man. If such thoughts come, this is the first bell.
An exact copy of pilaf
https://sovet.kidstaff.com.ua/question-1128534
Physical violence
He hit me only once, in the heat of the moment. Then he apologized for a long time, even cried. I'm sure he realized his mistake and will never repeat it again...
No and no again. No matter how painful it may be for you, you must admit that the person who raised his hand to you at least once should not be near you. Over time, the situation will only get worse, so the first manifestation of violence in a relationship should be the last. Men who are consumed by anger and are capable of physical violence towards you will never make you happy.
Thoughts about a possible separation make me happy
A person in love will never imagine life without his partner. No one wants to lose someone who always makes you happy, lifts your spirits, supports and calms you down. If thoughts about a possible separation appear, and at the same time a feeling of joy and satisfaction arises, then this is a clear sign that the relationship is damaged. If the picture of separation does not frighten, but seduces, then there is no point in continuing the relationship with your partner, since there is no future with him.
If you have already entertained the idea of breaking up more than once, the prospect of which brought a strange feeling of joy, most likely the ship of the relationship has long since cracked
I've been feeling like a monster lately. I dream about getting a divorce. No, I haven’t met anyone, I’m not cheating on my husband. I just don’t love you anymore... my love died after his drunkenness and drug addiction. I would have divorced a long time ago, but while I am on maternity leave with my youngest child, there is nowhere to go with two children.
Ambitious_heel
https://forum.ykt.ru/viewtopic.jsp?id=4276631
No pride in partner
During the period of falling in love, partners idealize each other and see only their merits. When this period ends, men and women see before them a real person who has not only advantages, but also disadvantages. If the relationship is strong, then the partners accept each other’s disadvantages, but still see more advantages. Lovers enjoy spending time together, they brag to their friends and relatives about the achievements of their other half and always find a reason to be proud. If your partner causes dissatisfaction and disgust, and instead of praise you only have criticism for him, then this is a clear sign of a relationship that is coming to an end.
If your partner causes only displeasure and criticism, this is a sure sign of the end
I am divorcing my husband because my husband does not accept criticism and says that it kills his love for me. He cannot give me an answer to my complaints, he remains silent. As a result, as it turned out, my husband had been living with thoughts of divorce for about a year, for me it was a shock! I didn’t think people like this could exist!
Anonymous
https://lady.mail.ru/forum/topic/razvod_s_muzhem_1488631181/
Differences in sexual temperaments
Signs of strong passion are not present in every relationship. This does not always play an important role, but over a distance, sexual dissatisfaction of one of the partners can affect it. In this case, the other half is not to blame: it’s just that some people’s needs for sex are higher, while others’ needs are lower. At the same time, a guy and a girl can understand each other in this regard, but it is difficult to do something: the body requires higher sexual activity. This means you need to look for another partner.
How to end a relationship that has no future? Weigh all the pros and cons of such a serious step, live with these thoughts for at least a few more days, and then, if you are convinced of this step, act.
And you can start a new relationship on Invme:
- Register, add photos and information about yourself;
- See current events from people in your city. Perhaps you will discover a new hobby and meet interesting people;
- If you want to gather a group for your event, go for it. Create a new event, describe it, indicate the date, time and address, do not forget about the photo;
- Monitor responses to gather a group of nice people.
Lying about your feelings
Some people tell their partner “I love you” but do not feel any feelings. In this case, words of love are spoken only in order not to hurt the once loved one. However, such a desire to protect a partner only aggravates the situation. Sooner or later the truth will come out, because it is impossible to lie all your life. And if you convince yourself that everything is really good and your feelings are as strong as before, then this is already an escape from reality and the destruction of your life and the life of your partner.
Insincere declarations of love will ruin the lives of both partners
For two years now I have been lying to my husband that I love him... the love has passed, but a feeling of respect and duty remains... There is no passion in the relationship at all... I always answer “I love him” with “me too.” People around us consider us an ideal couple, but it’s hard for me to live like this, and I don’t want to hurt my husband.
Casablabla
https://www.woman.ru/relations/men/thread/4118838/?wic=suggested_links&wil=forum_related_b_s
Experience and wisdom
Remember the famous phrase of Rene Descartes “Everything is known by comparison”, it hides the big secret of unhappy relationships, or rather their cause. Many women find a man at a young age, at school, university, get married and live in this marriage all their lives.
On the one hand, this is wonderful. Everything is like in a fairy tale - she was created just for him, the only man in her life. But on the other hand, rudeness on the part of a man, perhaps even the use of physical force, humiliation, complete dominance - everything is accepted by a woman as the norm. She doesn't know any different.
This is precisely why experienced women, who have experienced a lot in this life, ultimately achieve happy relationships - they know perfectly well what they want, and even better they know what they don’t want. They have something to compare with, because the concept of “good” and “bad” has clearly formed in their worldview.
But don’t worry, you don’t need to break up with your man and go to great lengths just to gain experience and knowledge. All this can be obtained right now while on the Internet.
At school you learned patterns and axioms that someone had already discovered. You learned from someone else's experience, spending minutes instead of decades, as the original source of knowledge did. Therefore, if you don’t know how to understand whether a relationship is worth continuing, read on and get inspired.
Partner's disrespect
Many people reach a point where they begin to show mutual disrespect for each other. If this happens, then it is time to destroy the illusions. Partners who do not respect each other can live together, but they completely stop appreciating each other, which leads to absolute indifference to their other half, her desires and needs. In such a situation, it is difficult to talk about the joint future of the partners.
There is nothing easier than to stop feeling attached to someone who disrespects you
There are a lot of problems in my relationship with my husband... we both don’t respect each other. Only my husband wants to renounce everything and leave, but I tried to persuade him for a long time and promised to change, trying to change him along the way. In general, we are facing divorce. My husband thinks that I can’t live even a month without him, but I partly agree with him! But I really want freedom from this oppression and constant criticism.
nikolinaVelikaya
https://www.woman.ru/relations/marriage/thread/5002041/
He feeds you breakfast
He feeds you breakfasts and unfulfilled promises. “Just wait a little, I’ll earn some money, I’ll get back on my feet, I’ll marry you, we’ll live together.” Six months, a year passes, and the man continues to tell you fairy tales.
Dear girls, let's think for a second about what qualities make a man a man.
- Responsibility for your actions and actions.
- Determination.
- Caring for your family, the need to become its head.
- Respect for a woman and her needs.
- Masculinity and others.
Now look: he promises, but does nothing. Does this behavior show respect for you? About the desire to take responsibility for the life of another person? Hardly. Most likely, you are just another convenient option. A man is defined by his actions, not his words. And the fact that he gives you flowers, takes you to restaurants, spoils you with gifts is just courtship. We are not talking about any serious intentions.
Conflicts in public
Pride in your partner makes you often praise him in public. But conflicts need to be resolved privately with each other. If one partner begins to scold the other in public, this will lead to resentment and a negative response on his part. Insulting a person and making unpleasant jokes about him will lead to an increase in dissatisfaction with the relationship, which sooner or later will break out and can cause a breakup.
Scolding a person in public means only achieving a negative response or hidden resentment
He never raised his voice at me. And yesterday he started coming at me in a loud voice in the store. They came home and asked to apologize. He said with dissatisfaction that he was wrong somewhere, but I was also guilty, in general, I deserved it. I asked him to move out soon. I am not going to tolerate humiliation in public.
Want
https://www.woman.ru/relations/men/thread/4071071/
