5 sure signs of low self-esteem in a woman

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There is a simple test to determine whether a woman has low self-esteem or not. Everything is very simple. If the word “stupid” is written on a fence, then a woman with adequate self-esteem will not think that it can be written about her (even if it is written about her). And a woman with low self-esteem will suddenly begin to worry that this is about her, and she may also immediately begin to defend herself, to prove to everyone that she is not a fool.

A woman with low self-esteem takes everything personally. Of course, all the most unpleasant things. I had a case, in some article some madam wrote me a comment, saying that they gave the floor to stupid housewives, you know. She wrote this about me, of course, who else is a stupid housewife if not me. I sometimes save things like this and insert them into other articles as tags for fun. So, in another post on a complex topic, I inserted such a tag, along with other “answers” ​​from the outside world for the stupid housewife, that is, me, preventing the flow of objections.

And what do you think, one woman began to be indignant, saying, this is how you treat us, we are stupid housewives for you! And this is a clear example of a response from a woman with low self-esteem. Out of the blue, get offended and take everything personally. By the way, when I told her what the tag was actually about, she remained silent. Well it was predictable.

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A woman with low self-esteem takes everything personally. Quite seriously. Yes, the lower the self-esteem, the worse it is and with humor. Sometimes it’s even scary to joke - people will take it personally that it’s not about them at all.

Definition

A woman’s self-esteem is the ability to objectively assess her own abilities, personal qualities, social status and herself as a person. Relationships in society and a woman’s position in the family and at work are determined by the attitude towards one’s own person.

The level of self-esteem ensures the complexity of the goals and objectives that a woman is trying to achieve in life. One strives to take a leadership position, knowing that she can do it. Another has been content with working as a clerk for 20 years, without thinking about anything more. One marries a prince, the other lives with an alcoholic and a brawler, unable to provide for his family, afraid of being left alone.

Self-esteem is one of the basic concepts of psychology. We come across assessments of our abilities more often than we think. Whether we are catching up with a bus leaving a stop, writing an essay at a university, or preparing a new dish for the arrival of guests, first we evaluate our capabilities - the speed of movement, the ability to reveal the topic of the essay, or the ability to cook.

Are you ready to stop thinking about your problem and finally move on to real actions that will help you get rid of your problems once and for all? Then perhaps you will be interested in this article .

Self-analysis in everyday life is a tool for monitoring and measuring behavior patterns.
Inadequate comparison of the image of the “I” located in a person’s thoughts with reality leads to low or high self-esteem, to a neurotic split of personality, but not in the clinical sense. A modern person is a “set of self-presentations,” that is, he wants to please others and flaunts those character traits (often not inherent to him) that, in his opinion, should set him apart from the crowd. Over time, he begins to believe in the invented image, to correspond to it, breaking away from reality. When real goals and tasks are set before him, he finds himself unable to fulfill or solve them. Self-esteem drops.

The concept of “performance self-assessment” refers to a comprehensive assessment of an enterprise by employees in order to identify weaknesses in production, financial or interpersonal terms.

The importance of self-esteem for a woman

Women who are unsure of their abilities are 1.5 times more likely than men. This is caused by the critical attitude of the fair sex to their appearance, difficulties in career growth, and financial dependence on a partner.

A high assessment of her capabilities allows a woman to please the man who is interested in her.

If she feels feminine and is confident in this, she will not allow a man to raise his voice at her. The gentleman listens to her opinion because he wants it himself. He will never look in the direction of another lady, he will not even mentally cheat on his woman. She is an object of adoration for him, which he is afraid of losing. Being around her is always interesting, not boring, easy.

More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.

At the genetic level, a woman has a need to please men. If a lady has no problems in her personal life, she is satisfied with relationships with the opposite sex, then professionally she is able to achieve great heights.

Therefore, it is important, starting from the cradle, to praise the child for all, even minor, successes. Support his initiatives and endeavors by developing a sense of self-confidence from an early age.

Practical advice from a psychologist to raise a woman’s self-esteem after a breakup

1. Be kind to yourself and don't criticize yourself.

Everyone knows that it is easier to scold yourself than to praise yourself. But your life is already difficult, and criticism addressed to you can completely take away all your strength and desire to move on. Therefore, praise yourself as often as possible, for every little thing, you may even regret it a little.

Very imperceptibly, but constant self-criticism over time develops into a not very good habit that is difficult to get rid of. With every failure, you feel guilty and feel completely helpless against the prevailing circumstances. When breaking up, especially if the reason for the breakup was another person, you immediately decide that since this happened, it means that the other passion is much better than you. This attitude towards oneself will not lead to anything good except depression; it must be changed urgently - this is the answer to the question of how to raise a woman’s self-esteem after cheating.

Be more lenient with yourself, softer, and under no circumstances think that you are worse than others. The failed relationship may have been a mistake, so give yourself credit for avoiding it.

2. Change the situation and, with your “disheveled” feelings and low self-esteem, go straight to the beauty salon

Most likely, the world will not notice your shining nail polish or your new image, but you will see yourself in the mirror completely different, prettier, refreshed - you see, your self-esteem will increase.

And make it a rule to regularly visit the salon to maintain this beauty.

Don't waste the money you have left at the hairdresser. After all, this is an investment in your good mood.

Low self-esteem

Four out of ten women in Russia place excessive demands on themselves, based on the opinions of others and stereotypes imposed by the media. Having failed to achieve their goal, they become isolated in their flaws and shortcomings. They believe that they are not able to evoke sincere love, and they experience feelings of dissatisfaction, uncertainty, and inferiority.

A woman’s low self-esteem makes her succumb to difficulties, not realizing her capabilities, and suffer from an inferiority complex. She is afraid of the opposite sex because of her perceived unattractiveness.

Modesty turns into self-humiliation, hostility to external appearance.

A woman becomes fixated on the physical features of her body, be it fatness, short stature, a large nose or protruding ears. Everything is perceived by her as ugliness.

Manifestations of low self-esteem:

• inability to refuse requests from relatives, colleagues, acquaintances, even to the detriment of one’s own interests;
• lack of faith in one's own strengths and capabilities;
• constant complaints about one’s lot, fate, getting used to the role of a victim, broadcasting it at the first opportunity;
• excessive sensitivity to criticism;
• hesitation when making decisions, the desire for “everything to be decided by itself”;
• surrounding oneself with people who confirm the helplessness and worthlessness of a woman’s existence;
• unreasonable jealousy towards a partner, friends, family.

Sometimes low self-esteem manifests itself in one area of ​​life. A woman who has not realized herself professionally becomes a domestic tyrant for her household. And, conversely, if there are problems in her personal life, she takes it out on her work colleagues.

Stop factors for increasing a woman’s self-esteem:

1. Convenience of the situation, fear of showing autonomy and independence. “If my husband understands that I can do everything myself and earn money, he will leave me.”
2. Fear of looking selfish in the eyes of family and friends. A person is inconvenient when it is impossible to manipulate him, but he is not an egoist.
3. Fear of losing your job if you express an opinion different from the generally accepted one.

The requirement to treat oneself with respect does not degrade a person.

A confident person is willing to take reasonable risks and gives himself the right to make mistakes. An insecure person believes that he must be perfect in everything - and therefore constantly marks time. (Andrey Yashurin)

By protecting your boundaries, you do not become a selfish person. You are becoming an adult.

What is female self-esteem

This is the perception that the female gender has about themselves, that is, how they see themselves, or view themselves. Problems of low self-esteem arise when a woman's vision of herself is not adjusted to reality, but is distorted and negative.

Self-esteem is also related to the level of self-esteem or abilities possessed by the weaker sex and is the result of a set of personal judgments formed from childhood. There is a well-known expression: “People around you treat you the way you treat yourself.”

Psychologists distinguish three types of self-esteem: overestimated, underestimated and adequate. Unfortunately, today the majority of the fairer sex places excessive demands on themselves, experiencing increased anxiety and lack of confidence in themselves and their strengths.

Failing to cope with the assigned tasks, they experience their own inferiority, as well as deep dissatisfaction. All this contributes to the formation of low self-esteem.

What happens when a woman has low self-esteem?

1. When self-assessment is extremely negative, then a woman stops believing in her abilities, does not realize her limits and does not accept them.
2. She lives with an inferiority complex, both in her work and personal life. This contributes to the development of phobias, which only worsen the situation.

Reasons for low self-esteem

The formation of self-esteem throughout life is influenced by various factors.

If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .

The main reasons for low female self-esteem:

• problems in childhood: lack of parental love and attention, criticism and prohibitions on their part, conflicts in the home;
• physical disabilities or chronic diseases;
• feeling of guilt for the unjustified expectations of parents, teachers, mentors;
• dependence on the opinion of the “crowd” to the detriment of one’s interests, while the woman experiences internal discomfort;
• criticism;
• treason, betrayal;
• divorce or separation from a loved one;
• inflated goals that are impossible to achieve in principle;
• a string of life failures.

To correct the situation, find out where the uncertainty came from, what prevents you from accepting yourself “without a mask.” There is no need to be afraid of constructive self-analysis.

Learn more about the reasons for low self-esteem →

The impact of self-esteem on life

If you consider yourself a great professional, a talented, worthy person, if you feel that you are better than someone else, then other people read this. They feel inner confidence. They understand that you can cope with the tasks received, you can be entrusted with business. They feel that the person is worth the money he is asking for.

Or vice versa. If you are afraid to express yourself to the world, you don’t know how to present yourself, you have doubts about your professionalism, impostor syndrome flourishes inside, other people feel it. If you don’t trust yourself and your competencies, then you broadcast these feelings to the world. This directly affects abundance. Since people either choose you to solve their problems, to interact, or not.

This applies not only to work, but throughout life. In a relationship, your partner knows exactly what you will tolerate and what you won’t, how you can be treated and how you can’t.

People read your inner sense of self.

This is the key thing in interaction. And we send all these signals ourselves. We establish rules on our territory:

• is it possible to violate personal boundaries or not;
• whether we are worthy of being cared for or not;
• whether we know how to take care or not.

Diffidence

A woman who does not value herself tries to smooth out conflict situations at any cost, allowing people to demonstrate open disrespect for her. She hopes that in this case she will avoid such treatment in the future. But her actions today provoke the offenders, who feel permissiveness and impunity, to behave more rudely and unceremoniously with her the next time they meet.

The opposite of shy people are hostile but self-doubting individuals. Even in a small dispute, they make desperate attempts to prove that they are right at any cost. This is their defensive reaction, so they hide the feeling of inferiority.

Uncertainty harms talented individuals, preventing them from fully revealing their abilities. Gifted people first of all need to get rid of this deficiency with the help of trainings and exercises recommended by psychologists. Their success depends on it.

Uncertainty manifests itself not so much in self-criticism, as is commonly believed, but in relationships with other people. A confident person does not need regular confirmation of self-esteem, endless analysis of other people's opinions about themselves. He does not need approval, he believes in his own strength.

If a person lacks basic self-confidence, his self-esteem constantly changes from “I am God” to “I am worthless” depending on the situation. It is difficult to communicate with such people.

Difficulties in communicating with an insecure woman:

1. “We are responsible for those we have tamed.” She will suffer if you did not answer her call or did not dial her number yourself. You'll have to constantly tell her how good she looks, cooks, runs a house, drives a car, feeding her ego. They will force you to feel guilty even for something you didn’t do. You will have to empathize with her, because she has no one closer to you. And that means you must...
2. Suspicion and increased sensitivity. Get ready for such a lady to be offended several times a day. In this case, you must guess the reason that caused such a reaction yourself. An accidental glance, an unliked photo on her page on social networks, your statement about a new employee in the team - everything can cause resentment in an insecure woman.
3. Relationship addiction. Insecure people, and women in particular, are afraid of being alone. Even for a day, for an hour, for a few minutes. Therefore, they rush headlong into relationships, friendly or romantic. The entire environment should feed the ego of the “vulnerable creature”, which, in turn, will secretly tell the whole world in great detail about your relationship. People with low self-esteem fantasize a lot and expect this from every acquaintance. When expectations are not met, they fall into deep depression, feeling sorry for themselves.

A woman’s low self-esteem makes communication difficult.

Awareness of the existing problem by the lady herself will allow her to fight this shortcoming together with her partner or friends.

Signs of low self-esteem in a woman

1. Insecure ladies are very dependent on the opinions and even the mood of the people around them. They have absolutely no self-esteem. A woman with low self-esteem interprets any negative attitude towards herself from anyone as a personal failure.
2. Women with low self-esteem are very afraid that society will not accept them. Therefore, they very much strive to please everyone and are very worried when faced with an indifferent or even negative attitude towards themselves.
3. Women with low self-esteem have a bad habit of constantly comparing themselves to the people around them. Moreover, in the process of this comparison they necessarily discover that they are not beautiful, smart or successful enough. All this suppresses them even more, thereby further lowering their personal self-esteem. And the result of it all is a painful feeling of one’s own worthlessness.
4. Insecure women with low self-esteem are unable to build close and warm relationships with either their own or the opposite sex. As a rule, they have practically no girlfriends, and men treat them purely as a consumer.
5. Very often, a woman with low self-esteem believes that she does not deserve self-love. And the saddest thing is that this is what happens - the best friend suddenly stops communicating, the beloved man betrays and leaves for another. It’s as if the world around us organically adapts to the woman’s inner state. Here, more than anywhere else, the expression “thoughts are material” is appropriate. An insecure woman, as it were, programs her life with her self-deprecating thoughts.
6. Pessimism that has become your point of view. Pessimism not only prevents you from being happy, but it is also a prelude to problems with depression or anxiety. You are absolutely convinced that you are significantly worse than others in all respects: appearance, intelligence, intelligence, abilities, capabilities and character. Because of this, you feel like an inferior person.
7. Fear and stiffness. Your voice is never heard because you forbid yourself to submit any ideas, considering them bad, invalid. “I can’t” is your most common thought. It filled your mind, thereby paralyzing all your faculties.
8. One of the signs of low self-esteem is indecisiveness and the inability to make a decision. Ladies with low self-esteem put off important decisions that affect themselves and others.

In this video, psychologist Alexander Shakhov talks about 9 signs of low self-esteem, we recommend watching it.

Characteristic features of low self-esteem in women

We can highlight the main external features of low self-esteem in a woman:

1. Stiffness in communication;
2. Everyone likes a strong hypertrophied need;
3. Untidy;
4. Sad facial expression;
5. Slouching and poor posture.

If you find these signs in yourself, then it’s time to act right now. Focus on improving your self-esteem so you can see life from other perspectives. What do we have to do? Read on.

7 things that “kill” women's self-esteem

Relationships with relatives

Often the reasons for low self-esteem in women must be sought in childhood. Perhaps the girl had an overly authoritarian mother. Because of this, the mother’s personality always suppressed the daughter’s personality. Or the girl had a difficult relationship with her father, who laughed or mocked her.

If no action is taken in time to raise female self-esteem, then in adult life an insecure woman will face many personal complexes and problems.

Infidelity

Janice Abrams Spring, author of Marital Infidelity. Therapy after betrayal” says that betrayal can have a strong psychological impact on a woman, mainly if she was confident in her man’s fidelity.

Instead of blaming her partner, the lady begins to doubt herself, wondering if perhaps she did something wrong, since her loved one now prefers the company of another female person.

Even leaving her unfaithful partner, she will experience fear of future infidelity. He will also begin to compare himself with his mistress, always from the point of view of his own inferiority.

Criticism

Isabel S. Larraburu (clinical psychologist at Teknon Medical Center Barcelona) points out that depending on who criticizes, how often and in what context, criticism can completely undermine a woman's confidence.

The problem is also that the girl begins to believe that the criticism is true, which means she is really worse than others. Because of this, he may begin to humiliate himself, wanting to earn the approval of others.

Verbal and physical violence

Low self-esteem in women is caused primarily by fear of violence. Verbal or physical violence can make the fairer sex feel powerless. And the humiliation or fear experienced at the same time undermines their self-esteem.

Social media

A study conducted by the University of Haifa (Israel) explains that the more time you spend on social media, the more you may develop a negative image of your personality or appearance.

Although criticism or disparaging remarks are not directly directed at those on social media, the fairer sex is influenced by what they see or read about how women are judged based on what they say, what they wear, and what women's bodies are like. are considered acceptable and which are not.

Figure

For women, opinions about their appearance are very important. The image of an obese figure creates a decrease in self-esteem, says Manuel Mejia Peña, a psychiatrist at the Salvadoran Association of Psychiatry.

Skin problems

Doctor Claudio Vallejos from the Vespucio Clinic (Chile) clarifies that varicose veins, or pimples (acne), can cause not only physical problems, but also an impact on self-esteem.

Dissatisfaction with yourself and your appearance

Self-esteem is the result of comparison.

Russians are dissatisfied with their appearance:

• 75% figure;
• 44% cellulite;
• 40% body hair;
• 17% by a certain part of the body (nose, ears, chin, etc.).

72% of women surveyed believe that there is no need for the services of a plastic surgeon.

If you don’t love yourself as you are now, there will always be a reason for grief: your neighbor is slimmer, your colleague has longer legs, your sister has wrinkle-free skin, and so on ad infinitum. The result is a shattered nervous system for the woman and her partner, since he will have to constantly listen to this nonsense.

Dissatisfaction with appearance in most women occurs in childhood, adolescence or after childbirth, when a woman’s physiology undergoes drastic changes. It intensifies with age.

According to sociological surveys, 7 out of 10 women in Russia are dissatisfied with their appearance. Only 7% of women are confident in their beauty. 60% of respondents need compliments, that is, maintaining self-esteem.

Raising self-esteem by adjusting appearance is considered effective by most women. To achieve the goal, modern drugs and cosmetology procedures, fitness, diets, and plastic surgery come to the rescue.

Communication problems

A person needs communication. Some easily maintain a conversation on any topic, can present themselves favorably when communicating with an employer, and quickly make new acquaintances. Others experience difficulties communicating with friends and cannot justify their arguments to opponents, fearing to say “the wrong thing.”

If professionally a woman is brilliant, but does not know how to present herself to the public, then all her dull evidence of rightness will be useless - she will not be heard.

Peculiarities of speech of insecure people:

• rarely initiate conversations;
• speak in abrupt phrases, quickly, to exclude questions;
• are constantly interested in the opinion of the interlocutor, sometimes passing it off as their own;
• self-promotion, frequent use of the pronoun “I”;
• use of filler words.

In order for everyone around you to feel confident in your voice, you need to relax before a performance using, for example, breathing exercises. Speak in a low voice, slowly, taking pauses.

“When communication with a person becomes too tense, you are tempted to break the thread.” (Juliana Wilson)

More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.

Train your voice through physical activity and an active lifestyle.

Confidence comes from knowledge of the issue, so improve your skills, expand your horizons, read books.

Comparing yourself with others

Psychology does not recommend comparing yourself with other people. But the essence of self-esteem is comparison, spontaneous and inevitable. The more often an insecure woman compares herself with other representatives of the fair sex, the lower her self-esteem will be.

It is more correct to compare yourself not with other individuals, but with yourself, but some time ago. Use photographs or video materials for this if it comes to appearance. The best judges of culinary achievements will be your family and friends, and the best judges of professionalism will be your management and colleagues.

Problems in relationships with men

An insecure woman always has problems in relationships with the opposite sex, regardless of whether she is married or not. They are expressed differently.

Let us roughly distinguish three stages in the relationship between a man and a woman:

1. Before we meet. The lady does not have a boyfriend, she is actively searching. If a woman estimates her chances of meeting an interesting man low, she settles for unworthy applicants, turning a blind eye to the shortcomings already upon meeting her. Even seeing aggression or disrespect for herself in the behavior of her chosen one, she continues the relationship, considering herself to be the culprit of her partner’s behavior.
2. Married relationships, as a rule, are codependent among people with low self-esteem, that is, they cannot imagine life without a partner and tolerate everything from him. A woman's insecurity in her husband manifests itself in excessive jealousy, constant nagging and checking. She makes the life of her loved one unbearable. And he, in turn, tries to be at home less often, going to work, visiting friends or his mistress.
3. After a breakup, which is usually initiated by a partner who is unable to tolerate an insecure spouse, she clutches at any straw to keep her husband. He promises to change, blames himself for everything, begs her not to leave her, since she can’t handle it alone. Self-esteem in a relationship drops sharply when the husband leaves for his mistress. An abandoned woman compares herself with her rival, finds a lot of flaws and shortcomings in herself, and goes into depression.

The formula for good relationships is simple: “If you don’t like something in a relationship, try to change it. If this is not possible, give up such a relationship.”

What will happen next?

By correcting your self-esteem, you will understand how and with whom you want to live your life. You will notice that your environment has changed: people will appear around you who sincerely admire you and inspire you. Men will start complimenting and giving gifts. But the main thing is that you will begin to like yourself and enjoy every day you live.

Want to speed up the process? Try taking the online course “Secrets of Women’s Happiness.” On it I give a concentrate of techniques for building a harmonious life, rich, “roof-bearing” relationships.

Have you ever experienced signs of low self-esteem in your life? Did you manage to fix it?

The desire to please everyone

A woman who does not respect herself seeks approval and recognition through others. For her, what is more important is not her own values ​​and desires, but other people’s opinions about her. She curries favor with colleagues, acquaintances, and friends, trying to please and please them, solving other people's problems.

Are you ready to stop thinking about your problem and finally move on to real actions that will help you get rid of your problems once and for all? Then perhaps you will be interested in this article .

The lady does everything to be noted and praised.
If this does not happen, she begins to experience anger, indignation, and resentment.

When her expectations are not met, her self-esteem drops even lower.

Don't try to impress others at the expense of your own interests. You need to value yourself first.

The program is not a value - an example from a client

I had a client who came in completely distraught in all areas. Her husband left her for a younger man, there was a breakdown at work, and she was fired. The project the girl was working on was completely completed, and she was left without income. She had problems in her relationship with her mother; they did not communicate for 15 years. On top of all this there are problems with children. Everything and everywhere was falling apart. In this state, she came to me for the “Foundation” course. This girl constantly had a program of no value, self-deprecation.

What do you think, when we worked on it, what happened?

1. The husband took the divorce petition, asks for forgiveness, wants to go back.
2. The eldest teenage son, with whom there were the most conflicts, began to hear her and say: “Mom, how great you are,” although he had previously said: “Others are lucky with their mother, but I’m not.”
3. She received 4 job offers. Thanks to this, she may not grab onto one that does not correspond to her goals. She can choose the place where she can best realize her potential and goals.

All the problems were contained in one program: “I am not valuable. I am nobody. I have to earn love, I have to sacrifice myself for other people.” This is a program of sacrifice, low self-esteem, which was reflected in all areas of life. After all, the people around her taught her this “non-value”:

• husband chose another;
• others were chosen at work;
• even my son said that other mothers are better.

That is, the girl did not choose herself and did not consider herself valuable. This is why it is so important to work with your thinking and get rid of negative programs.

Painful perception of criticism

Resentment and indignation are the feelings that an insecure woman experiences when she hears that she is wrong or is mistaken in her vision of the situation. Any criticism is met with hostility. A negative statement that does not have a specific addressee is taken personally by her.

Criticism hurts when it hits an existing wound. The more such wounds, the more sensitive a person is to critical statements about himself. Insecure people have a lot of “pain points”, so their sharp reaction to comments is understandable.

Unable to accept gifts and attentions

A woman with an underestimated ability does not consider herself worthy of love and does not allow the idea that the opposite sex may have sincere feelings for her. Therefore, she feels “out of place” when they present her with flowers, gifts, or try to get to know her.

Before you diagnose yourself with depression and low self-esteem, make sure you are not surrounded by idiots. (Sigmund Freud)

Compliments are said to praise a woman and focus attention on her merits. But it’s different with an insecure lady. She will take them for flattery, deception or mockery. You don’t have to expect gratitude from her for the nice words. A representative of the fair half of humanity will pretend that she ignored your words or will change the topic of conversation.

How to identify the problem?

Count the number of points that describe you:

1. You feel flawed, you are consumed by guilt.

2. You are sure that those around you are unfair to you, and life in general is even more unfair.

3. You feel like you're married to the wrong person.

4. Your children don't live up to your expectations.

5. In fact, you think that you are working in the wrong place and for the wrong salary.

6. Deep down, you understand that you were born for a different life, but the people around you, obligations and circumstances do not allow you to realize your potential.

7. You are often consumed by envy; you envy your friends, actresses, and Victoria's Secret models.

8. You constantly compare yourself with others, these comparisons are always not in your favor.

9. The choice of everything - from underwear to work and apartment - is flawed (“this is too much for me”, “I don’t deserve more”). For example, come to the store with money for luxury designer shoes, and buy two pairs of black rough boots - they are not easily soiled and have insulation.

10. You are dependent on the opinions of others.

If you have at least one of the above points, then you (at least from time to time) suffer from low self-esteem. How to fix everything?

A high self-evaluation

Inflated self-esteem is not common in women. This is the lot of the male half of humanity. Sometimes women who want to get rid of low self-esteem acquire signs of overestimating themselves without noticing or wanting it.

“Symptoms” of high female self-esteem:

• unshakable confidence in one’s rightness;
• blaming other people and circumstances for your own failures;
• excessive pride;
• inability to apologize;
• constant competition with colleagues, friends, family;
• expressing your point of view, even if it is not asked;
• frequent use of the pronoun “I”;
• idealizing oneself in everything;
• mistakes and failures “knock such a woman out of the saddle” for a long time and irritate her;
• fear of looking defenseless, weak;
• unhealthy selfishness;
• arrogant, commanding tone when communicating.

A woman’s increased self-esteem forces her to constantly “be on her toes”, trying to prove to others her strength and exclusivity. This doesn't make a woman happy. Her life resembles a constant pursuit. Problems among representatives of the fair sex with high self-esteem are no less common than among women who lack self-confidence.

Signs of healthy self-esteem

With an adequate assessment of her capabilities, a woman realizes that she is not the center of the universe and has no right to demand from those around her the immediate fulfillment of desires. At the same time, she, as a member of society, can make mistakes and not know information about everything. This doesn't make her stupid or unteachable. The lady projects a healthy view of things onto those around her.

A person with normal self-esteem always has a wider social circle, as he radiates positive energy, attracting new friends.

A person strives to choose friends and interlocutors among self-sufficient people.

More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.

Signs of adequate female self-esteem:

• the ability to express your needs and desires;
• recognition of one's own victories;
• ability to compromise;
• ability to learn from mistakes;
• completing assignments in a timely manner without putting important things on the back burner;
• calm acceptance of constructive criticism;
• emotional stability.

Correct self-esteem gives a person the opportunity to make decisions based on their own beliefs and desires. Do not depend on the opinions of others. Be confident in your own choice. Don't stop there and strive for success.

Psychological test for self-esteem

This test will help you determine your level of self-esteem. Answers: yes, no.

1. Do you know how to rejoice in the successes of friends or colleagues?
2. Do you calmly respond to other people's advice and comments, even if they are unfair?
3. Do you like your appearance?
4. Do you have any special abilities or skills?
5. Can you clearly express your own position to another person with whom you differ in opinion?
6. Do you feel like the right person?
7. Do you consider yourself to be a successful person?
8. Do you accept constructive criticism?

8 test questions help you understand whether your self-esteem is low. If you answered “No” to 2 questions, it is difficult for you to see your character strengths, but if you answer “No” to 4 or more questions, you should think about adjusting your self-esteem.

Methods to increase self-esteem

A woman who does not respect herself does not have a good personal life, problems at work and in the family.

It is more difficult to increase a woman's self-esteem at 40 than at 20 or 30.

Especially if she is single - she does not have a partner and children. To change the situation, you will have to try.

Ways to increase self-esteem:

1. Change your social circle. Exclude from it those who make you feel weak, worthless, and unsure of yourself.
2. Engage in self-development. Anything is suitable – from beading courses to higher education or mastering a new profession. The main rule is to constantly learn or do something new for yourself.
3. Do something “beyond the pale” for you - jump with a parachute, scuba dive to the bottom of the ocean, or go through a quest with friends. Let the adrenaline go wild with emotions.
4. Find a job you love. By feeling needed by others, you will gain self-respect.
5. Learn to love yourself, despite your plump legs, short stature or other individual characteristics.
6. Set a rule - buy yourself a new thing every month. Not only for children, husband or loved one, but also for yourself. Take care of yourself. Manicure, pedicure, hairstyle, makeup, depilation - everything must be flawless.

Only a confident woman can be truly happy. There will be a desire to live, to enjoy every day you live and to give this joy to others.

Read our article for more details on how to increase self-esteem →

Ways to increase female self-esteem

How can a woman love herself and increase her self-esteem? Is it possible to increase a woman’s self-esteem and respect on her own? Is it possible to learn to respect and love yourself on your own?

In fact, psychologists believe that raising women's self-esteem is not at all difficult. The main thing is the strong desire of the woman herself.

There are certain ways by following which you can feel confident in yourself and achieve significant results. What actions should be taken?

Learn to evaluate yourself objectively without prejudice

How do you show love to your loved ones or loved ones? As a rule, you protect them, listen to them, devote your time, and say pleasant and kind words. How does this relate to increased self-esteem?

Take paper, or better yet, buy a notebook and write down how you love yourself, how you express self-love. You are the most beloved woman in the world in your life, for yourself you are your favorite child. Write how you would like to be loved.

Assessing your social circle

The next step on how to raise a woman’s (girl’s) self-esteem is to write down on paper all your friends with whom you constantly communicate. Next to each name, you need to indicate the time you spend together during the day or week. Now you need to assess what impact communication with these people has on you, negative or positive.

Anyone who can influence your self-esteem and does not believe in your success should be removed from your life or your time of communication should be reduced. This can be done gradually, each time reducing the time of communication, and if possible, remove these people from your life altogether.

Get away from toxic people

When a person feels unhappy, then he seeks the company of other people facing a similar situation. This search is usually unconscious and is a consequence of the fact that a person needs someone who understands him. However, he often falls into the net of negativity, where there is no one to expect help from.

Therefore, your goal is to eliminate these toxic people from your environment. Try to avoid people who treat you poorly and are constantly unhappy with you. Connect with people who value you. Meet new people who have a positive outlook on life, enjoy every day, do not envy and support all your endeavors. Take dance classes, or language classes (whatever), the main thing is to meet other people.

You don't have to make new friends, but the simple act of talking to positive people can help you gain a new perspective on yourself and your life.

Never hesitate to ask for help from those who are good to you or guide you to new positive actions. And with your family and loved ones, be frank, telling them how you would like to be treated and communicated.

Find time for yourself, loved one

One hour a day is simply necessary to re-evaluate your actions. Now everyone is very busy, everyone is on the move, there are many different life situations, but this time must be found if you love yourself.

Over time, your family will accept this and understand you. Why do you need this time? To finally start loving yourself . You can read, think, dance, listen to music, walk, play sports, but this is your time and everyone you communicate with must accept it.

Journaling

The next step on how a girl can love herself and increase her self-esteem is to get herself a success notebook, where she should write down all her victories, big and small. Buy the most beautiful notebook that you personally like. Start writing only the best things about yourself.

Notice and reward yourself for every little thing that you see or feel when you look at yourself in the mirror, that you have done in a day that you can be proud of. Praise yourself for every little thing, even the most insignificant achievement in life.

The more you write about yourself as a beauty and a smart girl, the better. Re-read in your free time, so new points will be gradually added. Over time, working on your self-esteem will begin to bring joy and self-satisfaction.

Knowledge is power

Self-esteem will rise on its own if you learn something new every day. In this case, knowledge is truly power. With new knowledge, abilities or skills will come confidence in yourself and your own strengths, and self-esteem will come. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. After all, a person cannot know everything. Don't be shy to ask questions at any age.

Take care of yourself

Take care of your body, develop physically, play sports. Physical exercise will definitely lift the mood of any woman, because during exercise the blood will receive joy hormones - endorphins.

Learn to always think positively

Remember, a person can mentally program the reality around him. Don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself. After all, pity is a humiliating thing.

The next important step in how to increase self-esteem for a woman (girl) is to stop criticizing yourself. Accept your imperfections as a given. Let your flaws become your highlight. Mentally turn your weaknesses into strengths.

Avoid comparisons

What should a woman do to increase her self-esteem and self-confidence? There is no need to look at the people around you and compare yourself with them. Each person is a unique and unrepeatable individual. Live the way you want. Live a full, rich life, live in such a way that you don’t regret anything at the end of your journey. After all, there is only one life, and it passes very quickly.

Do what brings you joy and lifts your spirits. Set realistic goals while striving to achieve them. Plan your own future. Don't go with the flow. Take life into your own hands.

And most importantly, in order to raise self-esteem, a woman must love herself for who she is.

Conclusion

As you noticed, a woman’s low self-esteem is not a final verdict. It can be increased or raised, but you need to be patient, as this process is not quick. After all, it is very difficult to change your actions or thoughts in one day or week. The main thing is to believe and act.

Good self-esteem is essential to enjoying a fuller, richer life and allowing us to live the life we ​​want. Whereas lack of self-esteem can allow others to manipulate us.

Therefore, everything is in your hands. You will be able to change what has accumulated throughout your life.

Man's self-esteem

A man’s emotional stability is the key to a healthy relationship in a couple. Representatives of the stronger half of humanity have problems with self-esteem less often than women. A man who is embarrassed to approach a lady or, at thirty years old, is financially dependent on his mother, evokes only pity.

Low self-esteem in men leads to:

• aggression;
• prolonged depression;
• alcoholism or drug addiction;
• loss of friends, girlfriend;
• loneliness.

Exercise, support from your environment, a positive attitude and, in extreme cases, the help of a psychologist will help you gain confidence in your abilities.

Read more about a man's self-esteem →

Correct self-esteem is the key to a successful and happy life

The formation of personality and the formation of its correct self-esteem occurs in childhood. A big part of this is played by the behavior of parents, who with their deeds and words influence the appearance of certain character traits of the child. It is these factors that determine whether self-esteem increases or decreases in the future.

Many parents, unbeknownst to themselves, indulge their children in many things, unquestioningly fulfilling their demands. As a result, the child gets used to this position, and his entry into the real world without parents becomes extremely critical, because it still requires compliance with all its rules and regulations.

However, the other extreme has also become more frequent: parents constantly humiliate the child, telling him that he will never be able to do something, that he is not as capable and competent as other children. What results does this bring? The child becomes an adult, but he is not satisfied with his appearance, character, or capabilities. Such self-esteem is incorrectly reflected in the choice of work and hobbies, the search for friends and a life partner. Because of this, many women begin to feel depressed and unwilling to work on themselves and their self-improvement.

Low self-esteem leads to:

• Excessive vulnerability.
• Depression.
• Feelings of inferiority.
• Loneliness.
• Lack of purpose in life.

Do you know these feelings? Don't despair! If you find out the cause of low self-esteem and begin to take specific actions to eliminate it, you can radically change your life. You will do what you love, find a worthy person to marry, and you will be surrounded by reliable and devoted friends. You will become an initiative and socially active person, whose opinion will play a key role for other people.