Often women do not know whether they should compliment a man. My answer: it is necessary. It’s worth praising a man even for little things, such as calling a taxi or giving flowers, and for his abilities and skills. This will motivate him to do more. If you want to understand why and how to compliment him correctly, read the article.
Read on, watch the video and you will find out:
- Do men like compliments?
- How to praise a man correctly?
- Mistakes a woman makes when trying to compliment a man
- What to do if your man doesn't like compliments?
- What words are nice for a man to hear?
- Which men are contraindicated from giving compliments?
- What kind of compliments have a destructive effect on a man?
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Do men like compliments?
So, I believe that complimenting men is a must. Complimenting your husband, boyfriend, man is something that most women underestimate in relationships. They rarely say nice things to their partners, and even if they do, they do it wrong.
In no case do I “throw stones at women’s gardens” and do not say: “Oh, how bad you are, you do everything wrong.” My goal is not to criticize you, but to convey information that will be useful for your relationship and help make it better.
What is a compliment? A compliment is a confirmation of the value of the person who is next to you, confirmation of his importance and that this person is loved. Can the phrase “I love you” be a compliment? No, because this is a statement of fact. A compliment expresses a unique feature of a man and emphasizes his positive qualities.
Do men like compliments? Yes. And normal men not only love compliments, but need them, since this is a form of recognition. And for us men, receiving recognition from a woman is a natural necessity.
Rule No. 6. Allow self-realization
Do not try to limit your spouse to the framework you have invented, give him the opportunity to express himself, let his imagination and desire help fulfill your request.
This applies to raising children, cooking dinner, and making important purchases. Do not tug at him with enviable constancy, this will reduce his initiative to nothing. Your task is to inspire him to do this activity, motivate him and give him a little push, and upon completion of the task, be sure to praise your loved one and give him a compliment.
How do men react to compliments?
Consider the following situation. Your man or admirer takes good care of you, like a woman. Is it possible to praise a man for this to confirm the importance of his actions? You can compliment a man by saying: “You are very attentive, I am extremely pleased.”
And, in my understanding, this confirmation encourages a man to do even more for you. Something like this conclusion is formed in his head: “She likes what I do to a woman. She confirms that it is valuable, she rejoices. Great! And if I do this for her, she’ll probably be pleased.”
But there is another type - immature. These are the men who relax after compliments, and the better you treat them, the worse they become. Surely you have encountered similar ones in your life. They behave obnoxiously in relationships. But they suddenly turn silky when they are abandoned. They immediately try to win you back and demonstrate how great they are.
It seems to me that it is impossible to build harmonious relationships with immature men. But if you are attracted to just such people, it means that for now you are at the same level of development as them. And in this case, I think you should hardly be concerned with the question: “How can I compliment this man?”
If you understand that over and over again you attract unworthy and undeveloped men into your life, you should think about it, figure out why this is happening and start changing. I invite you to a five-day author’s course: “Man: honest instructions for use,” where I talk about how the psychology of men works and teach how to create truly happy relationships. To take part in my free online course, register now.
How?
Imagine that a man has prepared a delicious dinner for you when you return home. True, the kitchen is a mess. But the main thing is that he prepared it. Praise him, because he tried, and put things in order in the kitchen together. Don't start with the "disaster" assessment; what's more important is that the husband put all of himself into preparing the meal.
When you start praising your spouse, do it sincerely - leave flattery, lies, and sarcasm aside, they are not helping you. Your task is to compliment, approve of an action, thank, and not to tease or awaken the “hedgehog” in him.
Men are vulnerable and emotional by nature, they just hide it. They are sensitive to lies and flattery, and if they didn’t show it, it doesn’t mean they didn’t understand.
If, remembering quarrels with your husband, you understand that the reason was your phrase or unflattering review, then you need to learn to communicate correctly.
Follow simple rules and your relationship will move to a higher level.
Do you want your wish to come true? We invite you to a transformational psychological game that will make your dreams come true!
What kind of compliments do men like?
Surely, I will not reveal a secret to you if I say that male psychology is different from female psychology. If we talk about the fair half of humanity, it would be quite reasonable to give compliments that relate to female qualities: appearance, femininity, beauty. At the same time, if a man tells a woman: “You are so purposeful,” she is unlikely to accept this compliment, since it is more a recognition of her business qualities. Although some people will probably like it.
In the case of men, the situation is radically different. I recommend relying on the fact that the best compliment to a man is a compliment to his masculine qualities, and not to his appearance. But if it so happens that you decide to “praise” his appearance, then the right compliments to a man should be associated with masculinity. For example: “I like your broad shoulders.”
If you just tell a man, “You're beautiful,” that's okay too. But if you often compliment his appearance rather than his other qualities, then a bias will arise. A man will understand that he is valuable to you only because he is handsome.
And here I want you to remember, what is the value of a compliment? It's about pushing a man to move further in the right direction. What will a man think who receives compliments from you only about his appearance? It’s unlikely how he can improve himself. Where else can he improve himself if he is already beautiful?
I recommend paying attention to compliments that target masculine qualities. If a man is attentive, purposeful, ambitious or, for example, he has an analytical mind, thanks to which he calculates steps ahead, he will be pleased to hear from you about this.
Do not overdo it
If your man is not used to praise, he may be hostile to your timid attempts to please him. This is a completely normal human reaction to something new and unknown to him. Suspicion and wariness - what do you want from him?! Fear - what if you have done something and are trying to make amends for your guilt. So be patient and don't back down. If you regularly praise a man, he will relax and will gladly accept your gratitude.
Mistakes a woman makes when trying to compliment a man
What is the most common way of praising a man from a woman? "Well done!" This phrase is usually used by female trainers who teach other women to praise their man. What is the word “well done” associated with? With school. Did you get 5? - "Well done". And immediately a picture appears of a mother praising her son, who is “well done.”
Or, even worse, “You’re smart.” Umnichka is generally feminine! When you tell your man or son: “You are smart,” you are at least calling him feminine. I do not recommend using such phrases in relation to men.
I understand that now some of you may say: “Yaroslav, you are being very picky, these are trifles.” But I think these are not trifles. It is from such “little things” that male perception and self-identification are formed. Do you want to understand what words men like? I will help you with this.
Men love specifics. Words of admiration for a man should sound something like this: “Listen, how purposeful you are! I set a goal and achieved it!” or “You're smart. You said then that it would happen, and that’s how it happened. We did it your way, and it was right, great!” And I repeat once again, the best compliment to a man is a compliment about his masculine qualities.
Do you remember? Then let's move on. If you haven't given compliments before, chances are you'll be at a loss as to what kind of compliment you can give your boyfriend, man, or husband. It will be difficult for you to figure out what words to praise a man with and find new compliments to his masculine qualities.
You may feel a sense of fear: “How will he react? What will he say in response?” My dears, this is quite normal. And here you will either use trial and error to figure out what kind of compliment you can give a man, or you will go to learn this, for example, at “The Way of a Woman.” During the course, we separately analyze examples of compliments to a man and teach how to correctly express words of praise to a man.
Our program has a separate task, thanks to which graduates of “The Way of a Woman” get compliments from their teeth to a man. They feel no embarrassment, shame or fear of evaluation and know exactly what compliments a man needs to give. During the training, a woman can see in practice how cool it is to praise her partners.
Want to know what
the most common mistake women make when giving compliments?
Some of them manage to earn love through compliments. These are the questions I sometimes hear in my Instagram posts: “Yaroslav, I give him 9 compliments a day, but he still doesn’t ask me to marry” or “I gave a man a compliment, but he never gave me a new phone!”
What is the mistake of these women? They don't compliment men from a position of generosity: “You're wearing a compliment because you're cool” or “Oh, you're manly, I admire you.” They compliment a man as if he owes them something for it.
Such women become very disappointed, angry and even offended if the man does not become a superhero towards her in response.
Men do not need compliments from the standpoint of “deserving” love. Either you say phrases of admiration for a man out of generosity, sharing it with him, or you don’t need to say them at all.
Rule No. 7. Don't expect instant results
If you want to get more attention and participation in household chores from your husband through praise, then by changing the tactics of your behavior, do not expect that everything will change “one, two, three.”
Remember that your partner is not ready for drastic changes, let everything go as usual, and your praise at the beginning should be appropriate and tactful.
Gradually increasing the number of compliments, you will begin to notice how you yourself have changed and how your chosen one’s attitude towards you has changed.
What to do if your man doesn't like compliments?
Most likely, he doesn't like the compliment itself, but the way you give it. 90% of the time, the women who asked me this question are the ones who gave compliments to “earn” love. For them, giving a compliment to their boyfriend is a whole event that involves a response under the flag “you should.” And the man naturally feels this pressure.
But there are another 10% of women who, for unknown reasons, face resistance from a man. How should they be? Let me give you an example.
Imagine that a man comes to the analysis and says: “Yaroslav, I give my wife gifts, but she doesn’t like it. She believes that money should be saved. How can I make her love gifts?”
How will I answer? “Leave her alone. She doesn’t like gifts, there’s no need to give them to her.” The same goes for compliments or gratitude: “Here I thank a man, but he gets angry.” No need to torture him then! Does he not like it when you praise him? Get out of your head the thought of what words to choose to compliment a man.
Why might he not like compliments? Imagine: there once was a boy, he grew up in a dysfunctional family, his mother humiliated him all his life, telling him what a nonentity he was. And then a woman appears in his life who says: “You are good, you are cool, you are courageous, smart, valuable.” Of course, he will be stupefied and rejected. And I believe that there is no need to be angry that a man somehow reacts differently to your compliments.
There are two options here: either give him time to get used to it, or come to terms with the fact that praising the man you love is taboo, since he doesn’t like it so much. Just please, don’t conclude that if your man doesn’t need it, then everyone else shouldn’t give compliments either.
Test the “compliment a man” skill on different people: your friends, colleagues, relatives – and you will see how different the reaction can be. You will see completely different emotions, and only then will you be able to draw an objective conclusion that compliments are a feminine power that you underestimate.
Why praise a man
Have you ever cooked a complex dinner after spending half a day chasing the “liver of a dragon born on a full moon”? Remember how you didn’t even want to eat because of the worries: “Will you like it or not? Happened? Wasn’t your effort in vain?
Do you remember when you first decided to meet him in seductive lingerie? There seems to be nothing to worry about here, but still: “What if I look funny? Maybe it's not on time? Why hasn’t he reacted for three seconds already?!”
Men also want to be rewarded for their efforts. They do not know how to read emotions “by an unusual flutter of eyelashes.” And in general, we need to stop this: “Well, I smiled, blinked three times - is it really not clear?”
Let’s not delve into all the Vedas with their theses about a man as a breadwinner and a woman as an inspiration. It pays to praise men! Praise reinforces desired behavior. Do you want to receive flowers regularly? Jump to the ceiling, even if he brought a branch from the Christmas tree.
Admire it, look at it from all sides, take a photo for Instagram, send the photo to your mom and all your girlfriends. Men, poor things, are used to people only yelling at them emotionally. And they take all the amenities for granted, getting off with “thank you.”
Say in a reverent whisper: “Her husband hasn’t given Tanya flowers for five years. And then the bouquet is so unusual! You are the best!". It is very likely that the man will be stunned, think about it and deliver half of the flower market to his apartment tomorrow.
Should you compliment cool men?
There is also an opinion that if a man is cool, then he hears compliments from everyone and everyone, so in no case does he need to say them! What does the woman think? “He is such an amazing man! Everyone hangs around him anyway, says nice words, gives him compliments, but I don’t want to be like everyone else.” Once you think this way, you will automatically blend in with everyone because 99% of women think the same thing.
As an example, let’s take famous, sought-after men, the so-called celebrities. Do you think they get compliments often? No. Most often they hear: “You are a great actor.” But this is not about compliments, this is a general word in the style of “well done.” They don’t hear specifics, for example: “I admire you, you came from a small town to New York, Moscow or somewhere else, and built a career! Other men should learn perseverance from you.” Instead, they hear general words: “You're awesome,” “You're amazing,” “You're charming,” “You're handsome,” or something else.
Dear girls, I urge you to be specific. Compare. General phrases: “You’re great”, “You’re cool”, “You’re amazing” - or specifics: “You’re smart, you do this, you think great, that’s why it led to this.” By the way, the compliment “you’re smart” is very universal, because every man considers himself like that. If you tell a man that he is smart, it is better to explain why you think so.
Perhaps now you will say: “Yaroslav, give us 100 templates of what words a man should say so that we don’t strain ourselves and compliment men correctly.” “How to tell a man that he is the best?”, “How to tell a man that he is handsome?” or “What kind words do men like?”
But I don’t want to give you blanks, because every man is unique. It has its own merits. And I would really like you to independently note his best qualities and dress them up as a compliment. And please remember that the best compliments for men are those given sincerely.
I hope this article was helpful to you. I will be glad to receive feedback in the comments and see you in my free online course “Man: Honest Instructions”. Over the course of 5 evenings, we will examine not only the topic “What compliment to give a guy,” but will also consider in as much detail as possible questions about attracting men, creating relationships and their reanimation, love triangles, gifts and achieving women's goals. See you on air!
Start small
Imagine your man's face if you sing his praises for half an hour? At best, he will simply be surprised. Casually say something nice to him. For example, that you like the way he hugs you. Or you admire the way he drives a car. Of course, in response you may hear: “What’s wrong with you, aren’t you sick?” You can easily answer: “Yes, I finally decided to say it. I’m surprised why I didn’t do this before...”
After sex
Here you can give a compliment that will express your gratitude for your partner’s efforts: “I felt so good,” “You know how to please me,” etc.
The only caveat is that all this should be said immediately after the end of the process, when both partners, as a rule, are in the mood for a frank conversation. Once you get out of bed, these kinds of compliments will be inappropriate.
Useful information Elena Kuznetsova, director of the dating agency “I and You”, family psychologist. Phone 8-920-909-62-35.
However, if you did not immediately express your admiration to your partner, then you can make up for lost time by sending him a frank SMS describing the incredible emotions that you experienced with him during sex. A man will definitely be pleased to read such confessions.
If you have questions for psychologist Elena Kuznetsova, you can ask them by writing a letter to the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir
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The favorite pastime of almost all women is to scold their men. Only some representatives of the fairer sex do this more often, others less often. But with inspiration, with enthusiasm, proud of themselves, without noticing the injured pride of their other half, they are indignant: I live with such a monster, I tolerate all his whims, I don’t get divorced, I don’t leave home, and I also take care of him. But only a few are capable of thinking about how to properly praise a man in order to create a harmonious relationship.
Indeed, dreams of marriage and marriage itself are two different things. A man before marriage and a man who has received the status of married are different from each other. But if you want to maintain the relationship until the promised wisdom finally comes to everyone, then you will have to learn to appreciate what you have. You can only appreciate what deserves praise. Start praising a man, and gradually you will believe that the one you praise is the best.
How to learn to praise a man
Several rules must be followed.
Also, in your free time, analyze your behavior: do you always live up to the title of “Miss Impeccable” in everything and always? And you don’t forget your underwear in the bathroom, don’t throw your comb with the hair left on it on the bed or on the nightstand in the hallway while rushing to work. “I threw it, I put it away,” you object. And again remember your grandmother: this is our lot, but our husbands are with us. Little things aside, but the big things: he works, he doesn’t drink, he greets him from work... - to the fore. And remind yourself of this every day.
Hence the conclusion: firstly, a man remains a child in need of praise until death (by the way, for the sake of objectivity: don’t you like it when you are praised), and secondly, give him this praise if you want him to become better .
By the way, when praising a man, you need to remember: the stronger sex is praised precisely for specific deeds and actions. If you tell your husband every day that he is the best, he will eventually not know where to go from pride. And if you say: “You’re doing well because you brought potatoes from the market. You helped me a lot because you had dinner and fed the children yourself, without waiting for me to crawl home from work!” - then he will really want to do these things more in order to hear words of gratitude from you more often.
Now examples.
Sources used:
- https://mirpozitiva.ru/articles/904-komplimenty-parnyu-muzhchine-muzhu.html
- https://zhenskayadolya.ru/kak-pravilno-hvalit-muzhchinu/
- https://vlad.aif.ru/health/psychology/kak_poblagodarit_muzhchinu_za_seks
- https://lbuckshee.com/forum/shopping-moda/vzimootnosheniya/semya/topic/kak-pravilno-hvalit-svoego-muzhchinu-sekrety-mudroj-zheny/
Focus on masculine qualities
Perhaps someone will say that this is sexism, but praise can be feminine and masculine. A woman can talk about her beauty, but admiring a man’s appearance, as we said, is a controversial tactic. For the manifestation of what qualities can and should the stronger half of humanity be praised? Strength (physical and emotional), determination, responsibility, intelligence, empathy, sense of humor.
For beauty
Representatives of the stronger sex do not need to be praised for their attractive appearance. Such compliments are usually reserved for ladies. But, if your husband, for example, got a good haircut, why shouldn’t his wife tell him about it?
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Praise from the heart
You should not set yourself the goal of praising a man. Some women make the mistake of speaking positively even about bad behavior. They think: I will say that the man is good and over time he will begin to change for the better. This kind of thinking is not correct. Men in most cases take a woman’s words as truth.
How not to become an empty place for a man
For example, if you dream of your spouse losing weight, then you shouldn’t tell him that he has a great figure. There should also be appropriate criticism.
