How to outdo Casanova: pickup rules for men

Many modern men simply do not know how to meet people. This is not an unfounded statement, but a fact established on the basis of information from various sites, forums, and social networks on the Internet. Young people, hiding under nicknames and avatars, write openly about this. Some of the guys who really care about this issue go to the pickup truck. What is it about? This can be found in this article.

What is a pickup truck for?

The concept of “pickup” means a type of activity aimed at getting to know the opposite sex for the purpose of seduction and obtaining the knowledge and practical skills necessary for this.

Currently, there are many trainings whose purpose is to teach clients the basic methods and techniques of pickup.

Such training includes not only a theoretical part, but also practical exercises.

Learning pickup techniques allows men to solve the following problems :

• become self-confident;
• learn to meet women;
• develop skills in building effective communication;
• understand female psychology;
• learn to quickly seduce the object you like.

In practice, the main goal is precisely acquiring the skills to quickly seduce the women you like. Essentially, pick-up artists strive to engage in sexual contact without wasting extra effort and time.

Basic rules of pickup for men

If you consider all the pickup rules for men that exist today, you can make an endless list. Each master has his own standard set of ideas and techniques. You can re-read hundreds of publications, books and magazines every day regarding the secrets of seducing women, or you can choose a few basic pickup rules, working on implementing them into your behavior model.

The main task of a man is to hit on a girl so that she does not reject the man. To do this, pickup mastery teaches simple rules:

• a man must be confident in himself, be clear and understandable in conversation without words of doubt (I don’t know, maybe, most likely, etc.), maintain posture, eye contact, monitor his emotional state, voice, etc.;
• a man needs to catch the girl’s gaze, since you can understand a lot from the eyes, for example, whether the girl is interested in him;
• when meeting someone, you need to be original, discarding banal phrases for making a tackle, like your mother doesn’t need a son-in-law.

If a girl responded to a man’s views in the same way, she should not stand in the shadows and take time, otherwise she will consider the man a coward or insecure. In order to instill trust in her during an acquaintance, psychologists advise repeating her body posture, speed of movement, breathing rhythm, etc. Girls love with their ears, so you can attract attention with a compliment and pleasant words.

Expert opinion

Elena Druzhnikova

Sexologist. Family relations expert. Family psychologist.

The first impression of a person is formed within the first 15 seconds. Therefore, it is extremely important for a man to look neat and stylish, say effective phrases for dating, maintain external self-confidence and exude positivity.

An attractive and interesting girl will not tolerate banal phrases; most men use these types of tackles, so the key rule for successful dating is originality. In a conversation, you need to use the particle not as little as possible, for example, would you agree to have a cup of coffee with me. Most likely, the reaction will be appropriate - the answer is no.

Basis of teaching

The founder of the teaching is considered to be the American writer Ross Jeffries , who wrote the book “How to Get the Woman of Your Dreams into Bed” in 1992.

It was Jeffries who founded the very first seminar on seduction. He later held a conference on a similar topic.

The writer to some extent justified the consumer attitude towards women by the inherent inequality between the sexes .

In his opinion, even the most unattractive woman who demonstrates her readiness for sexual intercourse will find herself a partner without any problems.

This may not be the most handsome or the most successful man, but in any case he will be found.

For a man to quickly enter into an easy relationship with a woman in the absence of an attractive appearance, wealth and charm, he has to work hard .

The main signs of a pickup artist

Pickup artists aren't that bad, I'll tell you that. If the norm for you is one-time sex, then you don’t have to worry. The main thing is not to take it too seriously. So that the pickup artist does not turn into a rogue who sits on your neck.

But if this story is not about you, then I will now teach you how to identify this type of man.

It's very simple, just 5 signs . If a pickup truck is about behavior, then we will pay attention to this parameter:

1. He is very attentive, talks little about himself, listens more.

2. He literally reads your thoughts and desires, and will say exactly what you always dreamed of hearing.

3. He tries to influence psychologically: look closely into the eyes, touch during a conversation. The beginning of communication is always unusual, for example, “What will you do tonight after dinner with me?”

4. The pickup artist is well-groomed, handsome and wears good perfume. He is self-confident and doesn't get embarrassed.

5. If there was no sex on the first date, he will definitely choose the place for the second meeting. And if you try to adjust it “to suit you,” he will never agree.

And yes, they avoid meeting in high-status cafes, cinemas, restaurants, because they try to spend as little money as possible.

Even your hastily put together bun or under-ironed blouse, he will definitely pay a compliment.

If the pick-up artist is already trained, you are unlikely to be able to identify him from the first minutes - everything will look very natural.

Negative side

a rational grain in the pickup truck - it helps insecure men learn how to meet women and communicate with them.

These skills can help you impress the girl you like and start a relationship with her.

In reality, pickup training often promotes a rather immoral lifestyle.

A man learns to endlessly seduce women who act as soulless objects for him. Moreover, the more goals are achieved, the better.

As a result, such a consumer attitude towards the opposite sex leads to the following negative consequences:

• the development of cynicism, which manifests itself in open disregard for existing norms of morality and morality;
• causing moral suffering to women who may misinterpret the pick-up artist’s attitude towards them and subsequently have a hard time dealing with the breakup;
• the risk of missing out on a truly promising relationship with a suitable woman in the pursuit of new victories;
• rapid satiety from a constant change of non-binding contacts, which is guaranteed to cause a feeling of boredom;
• the low quality of life experience gained from such fleeting relationships without emotional involvement;
• loss of the ability to express sincere feelings, experiences, and sympathies.

Ordinary men?

Yes. They are distinguished only by their lifestyle: seduction, seduction and attraction of women. It is unlikely that it will be possible to change such a person, but it is easy to get rid of him.

They differ in their manner of behavior. I don’t recommend that you get involved with such men and believe everything they say. As a result, you will be left without self-esteem and self-respect, with tears and unfulfilled dreams.

Share in the comments, have you had any experience with pickup artists and how did it end? Or are you still trying to re-educate one of them?

Don't get hooked, your Yaroslav Samoilov.

Technicians

The pickup technique includes a number of sequential actions:

1. Acquaintance . This is the most difficult stage at which you need to make contact with the woman and not scare her off. There are many ways that have long been proven effective: helping to carry heavy bags, sitting at a table and buying coffee, giving a compliment on the street, giving up your seat on public transport, etc. At first glance, these are ordinary methods of casual, easy acquaintance. A woman has no chance of recognizing a pick-up artist at this stage.
2. Revealing . During communication, a man begins to receive the necessary information: age, place of study or work, hobbies, character traits, life goals, etc. Questions are asked naturally, without pressure, so as not to create the impression of interrogation.
3. Rapport. This psychological technique consists in the fact that a person artificially adapts to the values ​​of his opponent. As a result, he achieves complete trust and favor in himself.
   Women, as you know, are easily captivated by a companion who colorfully describes his virtues and exploits.

   At the initial stage of a relationship, they have no desire to check the accuracy of the information they receive.

4. Setting the evaluation dependency . Every person has certain complexes. You can easily detect weaknesses and use the acquired knowledge for your own purposes. The easiest way is flattery. Thus, a woman who is insecure about her appearance will instantly fall under the influence of a man who will constantly compliment her.
5. Touching . This moment requires a truly subtle game. Most women are alarmed by the boyfriend's quick desire to establish physical contact. For this reason, pick-up artists learn to influence in this way quietly, unobtrusively. This could be a light touch on the arm or shoulder while discussing a serious issue, an inconspicuous pull on the waist when crossing the road, a hand out when going down the stairs, etc.
6. Enticement .
   When the victim has already matured and is completely under the influence of the charm of his seducer, the moment comes to lure him to the desired place. This is where sexual contact can occur. Of course, such plans are not voiced out loud. Enticement can take the form of an invitation to coffee, a friendly party, etc.
7. Removal of responsibility. This rule works in two directions. The pickup artist convinces the victim that she is not responsible for her reckless behavior. It just happened that way. If conflict situations arise, then the man easily removes responsibility from himself - there was no coercion to sexual contact, everything happened by mutual consent.

Myths about pickup artists

For most men, the pickup technique has evolved into a fairly simple "quick take" method. For example, to the question of who a pickup artist is, you can get answers from many:

• This is a student who is just “warming up” in relationships with women, and therefore is looking for an easy victim. He often uses free, basic advice for dummies from the Internet. Everything is logical here - he doesn’t have money yet, but he wants sex, and his classmate Lyudka does not fall for his tricks. Myth.
• It could be a 30-year-old, he just doesn’t want to spend money on a woman. His main goal is sex. Then the girl is no longer interesting to him. For pick-up artists, the process of conquering a victim is important, and sex is already a “reward” for the tricks and skills used.
• This is a horny psycho. No, I’ll disappoint you, but in many ways it’s just men who are not looking for a serious relationship now or at all.
• This is a lonely loser who is “not given.” Misconception again. Most often, this is a handsome man who succeeds in various fields.

So as not to overwhelm your head, a pickup artist is more about behavior and lifestyle. No, this is not a separate “type” of men - just a way to get what you want.

Of the well-known and obvious ones, there are two options: either no one pays attention to the man, or he had a bad relationship experience. Less often - if he is simply bored.

At first, he learns to simply meet girls, practicing classic pickup techniques. And only then he tests his skills on the possibility of getting you into bed before the 3rd date.

When a man is bored, things are a little different. He can only learn some pickup tricks to simply find a woman for a codependent relationship.

If, after several attempts to get sex from a stranger, she refuses, then he gets bored and such a fighter is eliminated.

Only true pick-up artists remain, for whom the very process of seduction and “divorce” into incomprehensible relationships becomes a way of life.

Mystery Methods

The most popular in the world are the pickup methods of Eric von Markowicz , better known as Mystery. This is a Canadian figure who created a system called the Mystery Method. This system has gained great popularity in the pickup community.

Demonstrating social value

Mystery attributed the success of individual men to the ability to demonstrate their social value.

In his opinion, the biological value of men, which consists of attractive appearance and good health, is of little importance for women.

much more attention to social signs:

• financial security;
• leadership skills;
• self confidence;
• force.

Mystery's method involves seducing women by demonstrating socially significant behavior .

Moreover, it does not matter what qualities a man actually possesses; the behavior he demonstrates is much more important.

If he seems strong, confident and successful , then she will immediately follow him. And the real picture will be revealed when it is already too late.

Linear seduction

Every woman, in the process of being attracted to a man, experiences three states: interest, trust, excitement.

It is important to guide her through these three stages and ultimately get what you want.

Interest arises after a man demonstrates high social value.

This takes a few minutes. To develop trust, you need to spend at least 4-10 hours together. to demonstrate openness, friendliness, and interest during communication .

Some kind of joint process that requires combining efforts helps to achieve a quick effect. Emotional intimacy and constant unobtrusive touches lead to excitement.

A game

Pickup is a game . The whole process must be perceived from this point of view. Trying to meet a girl is a start.

Receiving a refusal means a restart and a reason to start the game over again in a different place. No worries, grievances, disappointments.

Pickup base

So, what is the basis of the teaching:

1. A man should think not only about how to seduce a girl, but first of all about himself, his condition. Success in business can only be achieved by a person who: looks good, is confident, calm, has a good job and interesting hobbies. Therefore, first, as many masters believe, you need to take care of yourself, “pump up” your internal state. Women are looking for masculine men, not insecure losers.
2. Much attention is paid to “openers” or “templates”. This is a set of phrases with which a young man can start a dialogue with a girl, interest her and, perhaps, charm her. You are encouraged to use your own preparations, and not those set out in books on pickup. Some authors call for the use of “openers”, which in their meaning represent an expression of great interest in the lady’s personality. Other gurus say that the “template” should be “neutral”; the guy initially has no right to mention the girl’s high importance to him.
3. Neurolinguistic programming - NLP. Almost any pickup guide, one way or another, concerns psychological techniques. The authors of books on seduction do not shun techniques that can charm a girl by touching her subconscious. At first glance, the use of NLP may seem like quackery. However, it is not. If you delve deeper into the essence of the issue, you can understand that you can make someone fall in love with you using cunning manipulations.
4. Serious attention is paid to non-verbal things. For example, in pick-up schools they learn to recognize how willing a girl is to communicate by her gestures, movements, and facial expressions. It is very important to learn to understand body language. After all, such signals appeal to the human subconscious. In pickup courses intended for men, they often emphasize that you can make a girl fall in love with you if you “adapt” to her: you need to repeat the poses of your interlocutor and, to some extent, copy her behavior. When training beginning pick-up artists, a lot of attention is paid to touch. You need to touch a lady in order to take possession of her. At first - carefully, as if by chance. A little later - “deliberately”. In the end, as the gurus promise, it will come to intimate caresses.

Of course, it is difficult to outline all the methods of dating and seduction in a short article. But the above describes extremely important points.

In general, pickup, as a teaching, can be described as follows: it is a kind of art of seduction, the essence of which is as follows:

1. “Pumping up” a man himself. As a result of, for example, training, guys get rid of fears, gain confidence in communicating with girls, and learn to make their lives more interesting and richer.
2. Studying the secrets of female, and sometimes universal, psychology. Firstly, to understand what girls want and what guides them when performing certain actions. Secondly, to predict a lady’s behavior in different situations. Thirdly, so that you can use tricks related to weak points in the psyche. Example: “routines”. These are a variety of funny stories that you can and should tell the girl you met. They are very convenient to fill the pauses that arise. Moreover, the use of routines is such a psychological thing that allows you to interest a lady and develop love in her. The Internet is full of good stories.
3. Gaining the experience of easy and relaxed communication. Indeed, by practicing pickup, young people acquire the skill of talking with anyone on any topic without any problems.

For some free guys it is valuable and useful. However, not all men approve of the pickup truck. Often his opponents are also girls.

Lessons

The following real-life examples demonstrate the basic principles of pick-up for guys in action:

1. In the flower pavilion we choose a woman who evokes sympathy. We approach her and ask her for help in choosing a bouquet for her grandmother’s birthday. Let us make it clear that we have no problems with finances: we can purchase a bouquet of any cost, grandmother’s birthday will be celebrated in the most expensive restaurant in the city at the expense of her loving grandson, etc. After purchasing a bouquet, we suggest you take a walk in the park together. If a woman is busy at the moment, the date is postponed to a time convenient for her. During communication, we build the conversation around her person, not forgetting to ask leading questions and obtain the necessary information. We “openly” talk about ourselves, share our “most secret”. Don't forget about unobtrusive touches and constant eye contact. If she shows interest and disposition, we suggest moving to a suitable place.
2. We select the object we like on the dating site. We carefully study the page for interests, hobbies, and views. We begin our acquaintance by mentioning her interest. In the communication process, we focus on common ground. We openly talk about ourselves and ask her leading questions.
   If she is reluctant to respond, you should increase the time it takes to respond to her message. The need to wait will cause slight irritation and impatience, and this, in turn, will fuel interest.

   When her responses to messages become prompt and detailed, you can suggest a meeting. During the date, act in the same way as in the previous case.

Types of pickup truck

Of course, every Casanova practitioner uses in his activities the most favorite methods of dating and seducing one or more authors. Some people pay more attention to unusual openers, looking for the most effective one. Someone is trying to achieve a high level in the field of NLP. But now we will talk about something a little different.

The pickup truck evolves, taking into account the circumstances of life.

For example, in the 90s of the last century there were no social networks, Skype, YouTube and dating sites. Of course, Madison could not address the issue of Internet seduction in his book. Now a whole direction has emerged related to the virtual world.

Pickup online

There is an opinion that it is not worth meeting girls on the Internet. Gurus advise newcomers to go out more often and look for women there. Correspondence is supposedly a waste of time.

Although many choose to ignore such advice simply because there are a huge number of interesting girls online that you can meet.

People:

• come up with original first phrases;
• develop tactics for obtaining phone numbers in order to then make a call;
• They are thinking about how not to get ignored.

In a word, they are developing online pickup methods. It should be taken into account that all this cannot be limited only to virtual communication. You need to be able to take the conversation from the Internet to reality in a timely manner. In addition, on a date you will also need to interest the lady.

Internet pickup acts as an addition to the standard one. In general, it doesn't matter if you're walking the streets with a partner trying to arrange a meeting. Or sit on a dating site to dial phone numbers and call girls later.

Female pickup

Ladies also learned to “catch” boys. You can find many videos on the topic on the Internet. Of course, a woman's pickup line is different from a man's: girls, as a rule, are looking for a guy for a long-term relationship. Ladies don't disappear immediately after sex. This is the main distinguishing feature. But the list goes on:

• girls are not recommended to take a partner “to the fields”;
• lessons are learned mainly after reading books, since there are few trainings for ladies;
• own description of methods.

There are not many followers of female pickup, because ladies mostly prefer to sit and wait for the prince rather than be active.

Probably, with changes in society, pickup, as a teaching, will have new methods and directions. But he himself will not disappear anywhere, since at all times people want to get to know each other and communicate.

Thus, a pickup truck is undoubtedly needed by people who are not very confident in themselves, who want to find their soulmate or just a partner for sex. The most important thing is practice. If you remain a theorist in a pickup truck, you will, as before, live in a company with a bunch of complexes.

We hope that this article has aroused interest in this teaching and will encourage you to familiarize yourself with the issue in more detail, using books or attending special trainings.

Examples of messages to a girl online

Original messages on the network are a win-win option for starting a conversation with the woman you like.

You can use one of the following example greeting phrases :

1. What do you think a man should write to the woman he likes so as not to be rejected?
2. Good afternoon, what shoe size do you wear? ………38… Well, we met!
3. Hello! I am one of those who thinks that you are very beautiful.
4. I've never met someone like this before.
5. The Constitution says that each of us has the right to happiness.
6. I've been trying to figure out an original way to meet you for two days now, but nothing works.