Your wife is lying to you! 9 lies that save relationships every day

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Is your wife lying to you? And he does the right thing. Because if she had told the truth, the ten-year marriage would have fallen apart like an old barn. Yes, lying is bad, everyone knows that. But sometimes, for your sake, dear men, you can cheat. Exclusively from sincere feelings. If you've been married for a long time, check out this list. Have you heard something similar from your beloved? We don't want to disappoint you, but most likely she thinks completely differently.

Deception is an alarming symptom

A normal relationship between two people who love and respect each other should be built on trust.
If spouses lie to each other, this is a reason for both to think about the reasons that prompt them to deceive:

Fear of offending a loved one
: the truth is not always pleasant, and people who demand that others be extremely sincere with them are very often not ready to accept reality.
For the sake of maintaining stability in relationships
: when, in the opinion of one of the spouses, the truth can cause the breakdown of the family.
Money deception
: men and women in this case pursue different goals. Husbands, as a rule, exaggerate rumors about their earnings, etc. Wives most often hide from their spouses the waste of significant sums of money.
Lying in self-defense
: In some cases, it is better for spouses to come up with even the most incredible fable to justify themselves rather than talk about what really happened.
Low self-esteem
can also be a reason to cheat. Insecure people who constantly need outside approval of their actions tend to exaggerate positive character traits and attribute non-existent merits to themselves.
Deception as a way to save face
: most often this type of lie is abused by men who do not want a woman to see their weakness.

As you can see, in many cases, spouses lie to each other not at all in order to hurt a loved one, so it is very important to find out in a timely manner why the person is lying to you.
Remember that if there is no trust in a relationship, both spouses are to blame, and in order to start changing for the better, you need to work hard on yourself.

Semichaevskaya Maria · 03 Dec, 2021

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They say that if a husband cheats, the wife is the last to know about it.

A husband in a similar situation will often never know. After all, men are generally less attentive to nuances.

Admit it, you yourself would pay attention to such little things as:

Unexpected change of interests . Your wife has always been indifferent to football (philately, breeding crocodiles at home), but now she has become an expert in this field. In addition, she began to talk about philosophy and quote Schopenhauer every now and then, although before that she only recognized “Mumu” and novels from the “Cupid” series.

Change of tastes. In the third year of marriage, she suddenly discovered that the SAAB is more comfortable than your Moskvich, and that suspenders have long gone out of fashion. Note: just a month ago she thought that Saabs were a breed of guard dogs, and she just gave you braces for your birthday.

Changing the image . She suddenly cut her hair, dyed her hair brunette, went on a diet, became interested in aerobics, lost two sizes and, under this pretext, spent all the family savings on updating her wardrobe.

Unusual animation and stable good mood . Why is she so happy if you’ve been saving half your salary for two months and still haven’t fixed the washing machine? How can you wash your clothes by hand for six months and sing at the same time?! Sudden attacks of loving you and caring for you . They are not motivated by anything and are clearly not deserved by you (remember about half the salary and the washing machine).

Maybe you noticed all this and... were happy? Finally, you can watch football without interference, finally no one nags. Finally, you were appreciated, finally she lost weight and became prettier - for your sake, of course...

Oh well! Certainly!

The main thing is to explain everything correctly to yourself.

If you succeed, it’s for the best. "Blessed is he who believes." Besides, there really is no reason to panic. Firstly, there is one chance in a thousand that this is all really for your sake. Secondly, all of the listed symptoms are not yet a sign of betrayal. This is only “readiness number one” - falling in love. And if you don't really rely on one chance in a thousand, you can even figure out who it is. Remember, doesn’t someone’s name pop up every now and then in her stories? A certain classmate Petya or colleague Vasya? “Petya thinks this,” “Petya bought a car” (isn’t it SSAB?), “Everyone was there except Petya. He has a sore throat." It is likely that later this name will suddenly disappear from use or will be mentioned with deliberate indifference or even disapproval. What marks the transition from intentions to action ….

And then there are other symptoms:

Late arrivals home and vague explanations, irritation in response to the most innocent questions . For example, “Sorry I was late, I was shopping.” - “What were you looking for?” - “You are always interrogating me!!!” Sometimes, however, the explanations are not vague, but very clear and thoughtful and reminiscent of scenes from high school, when an excellent student retells “Wonderful Dnieper in calm weather,” which she has memorized.

Frequent mood and appetite changes . (She also sometimes quarrels with him - not everything is with you and with you. The main thing here is not to interfere, it will be worse).

Increased interest in phone calls (“Did no one call me?”). If the phone is portable, it constantly travels around the apartment in the pocket of her robe (“It’s probably Masha, I’ll come up myself”). Conversations with Masha (in your presence) are strange, more and more “Yes” or “no”, “Uh-huh”, “I’ll tell you later”, but not a word about lipstick, a new skirt or a cellulite remedy. In general, the phone began to act up: when you approach, they always end up in the wrong place. Or beeps. Or silence.

The passion for updating your wardrobe takes on a purely intimate tone . The main object of attention is underwear. The house is filled with lace panties, tank tops, and stockings that you previously only saw in films like “Deep Throat.” Moreover, tender, aspirated questions, like “Darling, do you like me in this lace bodysuit?” you won't wait.

It’s already November, no one has been wearing sandals for a long time, but she still gets a pedicure once a week! And he shaves his legs every day, even when he wears jeans. But last winter I walked like King Kong. Of course, much more can be added to this list, but ten points are quite enough for a diagnosis. Just please don't make sudden movements! So what if all ten coincided? Don't act rashly! You are a smart person, you will probably be able to explain everything correctly to yourself!

What to do if you want to check your suspicions?

Or, if you really don’t have the strength to remain ignorant, you can use simple psychological techniques.

The wife, of course, can tell lies (see Theory of Lies

). But her body will always be sincere. By learning to understand body language, facial expressions, facial expressions, voice intonation, you can always understand the true state of a person, his thoughts, his feelings and emotions. A person’s internal state will always break through, despite his desire to hide something.

Body language and facial expressions quite clearly define the inner world and feelings of each individual. But in order to learn to understand these gestures and expressions, you need to devote quite a lot of time to this. You need to record every little detail in the change in facial expressions.

Every gesture means something, every facial expression (even if it is fleeting and lasts no more than half a second) carries information from the subconscious of the person being studied. In order to learn to “read” the facial expression of your interlocutor, you need to constantly analyze facial expressions. To do this, you can use the basic provisions that determine the human condition. There are about fifty of them. Let's look at the main points that you need to pay attention to (for more details, see Body language: Gestures and facial expressions

The gaze is direct or the person looks at you only briefly. When you are with a person, pay attention to how often he glances at you. Pay attention to the pupils of the interlocutor - the pupils may expand or contract. Does it happen that your interlocutor “hypnotizes” you with his gaze? During direct contact, the direction of the interlocutor’s gaze is important - a sidelong glance or he generally tries not to meet your eyes.
An important point - pay attention to your opponent’s lips: biting the lower lip, frequent licking of the lips, a crooked smile. A person may examine you on the sly, for some reason not daring to look directly at you.

Look at the person's chin - it can be pushed forward during a conversation, or it can be retracted. It is also important if the interlocutor rubs his chin.
A clear marker of feelings is the interlocutor’s ear - he scratches it, twitches it, rubs the lobe with his fingers. Particular attention should also be paid to the nose - wrinkled if you often scratch your nose.

Pay attention to all these points. Please note, even if you have not purposefully studied a person’s behavior, reactions and facial expressions, you still at least partially understand all these hidden beacons. After all, you also use them subconsciously. And if you specifically pay attention and try to analyze these movements, you will learn to look into the very soul of the person talking to you.

And a few more tips:

Try to catch your wife off guard with a question and see if she responds quickly. Longer “ response ” time means more likely to lie. And it can be considered a sure sign of a wife’s betrayal if, in response to this “simple” question, she suddenly starts yelling, screaming, hysterical, accusing her husband of all mortal sins - it means she feels guilty and is trying to shift it from a sore head to a healthy one .

Raise the stakes. Add more emotions. If you say that you won't forgive her if she gets caught in a lie, then the wife will most likely want to give up - a great risk.

Ask a question that requires a yes or no , and repeat until you get an answer. Liars most often do not answer “yes” or “no.” Instead, they seek to hedge their bets by giving vague answers. As a psychological test for the presence of your wife’s infidelity, just ask her a question directly (you will be surprised, but an honest and direct, unexpected attack is often much more effective than roundabout, crooked paths and conversations around the bush), whether she cheated on you.

Pay attention to gestures (or lack thereof) . The thought process required to “come up” with a lie requires energy to be “drawn” from the body. Therefore, contrary to the widespread stereotype, liars gesture less - they save strength and energy.

As for body language, there are rules (see Body language: Facial expressions, gaze, posture and gestures

). So, if a person touches his face with his hands (covers his mouth, scratches his nose), these are signs of subconscious attempts to close himself off, to put a barrier between himself and the interlocutor. If he shifts and shifts from one foot to another, this is a sure sign of a desire to leave, to move away so as not to give something away. You should pay attention to his backward movements when you ask. His head will suddenly move down or back - this is also often an attempt to close himself off.

But still, it should be remembered that a person is an extremely complex mechanism, and for some the above may be fair, for others it may be wrong. As a rule, you can determine whether a wife is lying or not only after you have observed her in her comfortable environment.

PS. It is believed that for a man, a husband, unlike a woman, it is much more difficult from a psychological point of view to come to terms with the idea that he was cheated on, that another male was preferred to him, that he was no longer loved, he and his love, his warmest and brightest feelings were betrayed and cruelly reduced to the very the bottom of marital humiliation.

Therefore, the answer to the question “Did she cheat on me or not?” for most men and part-time husbands, it is a kind of psychological rubicon: after receiving a clear and precise answer, a man stops doubting and tormented - he begins to act: either severely limits his wife in finances, communication with “girlfriends” and friends, or begins to hang around with her everywhere , controlling her every step, or, what happens most often, upon receiving a 100% affirmative “Yes! I cheated!” followed by divorce, division of children and property...

I will immediately disappoint all husbands who feel like unhappy cuckolds, but cannot prove this with the actual base of material evidence, that there are no and cannot be 100% correct and truthful signs of a wife’s infidelity. Each woman is unique, each married couple is unique in its own way, therefore, there are no common signs of proof of a wife’s infidelity for all cases. Based on materials from netizmen.ru, www.womanway.ru

The main signs of female infidelity

It is impossible to find out that a wife is cheating on her husband with 100 percent accuracy, relying only on signs or indirect signs, but there is a chance to take your investigation to a new level. So if a number of the following signs are present in the relationship between you and your wife, you can safely hire a private detective and interrupt this relationship in the bud:

A sudden change in behavior. If suddenly your wife has become cheerful and joyful, despite the fact that your relationship has not been a reason for joy for a long time, you should check the box and move on to the next point;
Excessive delays at work. Nobody canceled office romances, and if she started coming home much later than usual, and at the same time she did not have a promotion, which is usually the reason for failure at work, we put a second tick;
Mysterious friend. The appearance of a certain girlfriend, whom you have never even seen and did not know about her existence, can add to the list of your suspicions, if it is already full to capacity. If no other signs of betrayal are observed, it is quite possible that your friend is real and your fears are unfounded;
Marks on the body. This is a very serious reason not only to think about it, but also to have a serious conversation with your wife face to face. Try not to raise your voice and calmly find out what’s going on. Perhaps she was the victim of someone’s rude attitude and was afraid to tell you about it, and that’s a completely different story;
Endless change of underwear. At the same time, new romantic collections can appear almost every week, despite the fact that your sex has long ceased to be the same as it was two or three years ago. Agree, it’s stupid to buy chic lace panties if they are never intended for you. Think about it;
Unexpected password change on the phone. And this is against the backdrop of constantly carrying a smart gadget with you. If your wife doesn't allow herself to leave her phone for a second, even while going to the toilet or shower, it makes sense to start worrying;
Changing your appearance, regular makeup, diet, fitness, gym and so on. In a word, your wife has begun to take care of herself, and sometimes the desire to become more beautiful reaches the point of absurdity. Carefully analyze your relationship before and after she began to zealously preen herself. If she pays maximum attention to you and spends all her time with you, then she simply decided to add new colors to your relationship. If not, most likely another man is already waiting for her somewhere;
A very clear sign of betrayal is the end of quarrels and cutting of brains for any reason. Oddly enough, the more your wife is dissatisfied with you, the more this indicates her love for you. With her behavior, she tries to identify all your shortcomings and correct them, molding you into the very man she would like to see next to her. If this is not the case, draw conclusions, check the box;
Missed calls. This is actually a very alarming signal. Regular phone calls that your wife misses in your presence may mean that her lover is calling her. She can refer to advertising agents or meticulous bank employees, despite the fact that previously she did not hesitate to pick up the phone and calmly refuse an offer that was not interesting to her.

If, coupled with the above signs, your wife becomes uncomfortable with physical contact with you, she begins to look away more often, and also complains about the lack of communication, with a high degree of probability she has found someone else. We'll tell you what to do next a little later, but for now let's talk about the types of female infidelity.

Sincerity is the key to a strong family

On the one hand, lying to a loved one (husband or wife) is the last thing, but, on the other hand, how can you tell the truth to others if you cannot be sincere with yourself.
Many people only after the wedding begin to understand that the love and tenderness from their relationship has evaporated, and there is nothing left that could keep two different people “in the same boat.” In this case, self-deception takes place: the person thought that he loved, but in fact, the basis of the marriage was passion, which cooled down very quickly. Many women getting married are inspired by examples of Hollywood melodramas and women's novels with their obligatory happy ending. They believe that after the long-awaited wedding a fabulous life will begin, but instead they get an unsettled life, an irritable husband, etc. It is not surprising that in such a situation women feel deceived.

Men also tend to have illusions about marriage. Representatives of the stronger sex hope that the stamp in the passport will not affect their usual way of life. But in reality, instead of the usual get-togethers with friends, they get scandals and quarrels with their wife, who always finds a reason to express dissatisfaction.

The main problem of many marriages is the disappointed expectations of partners who hoped for a bright future, but received a dubious present.

Frequent contact with children4

When you often communicate with children, the ability to lie is one of the most important qualities. No politicians or swindlers can ever compare with a young mother. Why? Now we'll explain!

How to get your child to wash their hands after a walk? Say that if you don’t wash them, scabs will grow or something worse. Does your child want more candy even though he has already eaten so much? Say that the squirrel took the candy, supposedly she needs it more and needs to feed the baby squirrels. Knocking your feet on the floor or any other object? You can tell that the one he hits is in pain.

How to force you to take pills? To say that if you don’t drink them, you can die, like some boy who refused to take vitamins. Well, my favorite trick is to say that if the child behaves badly, that uncle or aunt over there will take him. This is where women learn the real art of lying, and that is with children. Therefore, wondering what to do if a girl is lying is pointless. Most likely you will just have to accept it.

The habit of living in an imaginary world2

What to do if a girl is lying? Definitely don’t take her to a lie detector, since she will be able to deceive him too. A lie detector works in this way: if a drop of lies and falsehood is noticed, it means you are lying.

Girls are used to daydreaming every day on the way to work, before going to bed, and in general almost always. They can convince themselves that they are actually the Queen of England and say so when connected to a lie detector, then it will not show that she lied.

A man lies to a woman, on the contrary, adhering to a logical sequence in everything and lying extremely rarely, since they are quite bad at it. Girls, from generation to generation, learn the art of lying and can tell everyone completely illogical and untrue things without any difficulty or fear, but people will be sure that she is not lying.

Girls think about other people's feelings3

Representatives of the fair sex do not adhere to the rule “better the bitter truth than a sweet lie.” They understand. When a person needs to lie so that he does not become completely disappointed in himself and in his life.

If the girls all told the truth, then we could expect another great depression. Think for yourself, would you like to know that your current girlfriend accidentally met one of her exes on the street and talked with him for several hours? That's it.

Ladies are much more sensitive to people's emotions. It is usually simply impossible for them to tell the truth, which will definitely offend the interlocutor. It is important for them that the person with whom they are talking feels confident and calm, and if they say something unpleasant, even truthful, the former calm and confidence will disappear.