5 steps to help you get over unrequited...

Unrequited love is a dangerous feeling. It can drive a weak-spirited person into a corner and lead to suicide. Depression, constant thoughts about the object of adoration, the desire to call, write, meet, although you know for sure that this is not mutual at all - this is what causes unrequited love.

Drive away negative thoughts and listen to the advice of psychologists if you suffer from unrequited love.

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Unrequited love - what to do?

What to do if you are overwhelmed by an unrequited feeling?
What should I do? What should you pay attention to? Try to see a powerful resource, and with it, the opportunity for change and development that one-sided love brings with it. The resource is as follows: unrequited love teaches you to love without demanding an answer. That is, not to suffer, not to feel sorry for yourself, not to appeal to universal justice, but to learn to live with it, while remaining open to a new feeling

The resource is as follows: unrequited love teaches you to love without demanding a response. That is, do not suffer, do not feel sorry for yourself, do not appeal to universal justice, but learn to live with it, while remaining open to a new feeling.

This is quite difficult, since you want only one thing - to be with the one you chose and not even think about the fact that reciprocity will not happen.

At the same time, it makes sense to try to live a full and rich life yourself. Do not close yourself off from potential partners: those who are ready to choose you and try to build relationships with them.

Over time, this will lead to the fact that you will be able to fill your life, make it interesting for yourself and for those around you, making it more likely that you will meet someone with whom you can share a common feeling and life.

Mutual love is real

What does a person who loves unrequitedly want? What will be the most desired gift for him? The answer is mutual love. One way to realize what you want is to find the courage to admit your feelings.

Namely, ask your loved one about what your chances of reciprocity are and how interesting you are as a relationship partner. Open recognition is an opportunity to escape the vicious circle of thoughts and feelings into a space of reciprocity. All you need to do is tell the person you love how much he means to you.

Of course, confession is scary. First of all, because there is a possibility of being rejected. And yet, confessing and hearing “no” is better than cherishing the dream of reciprocity for years and not making a single attempt to be together.

Ultimately, the experience of recognition can help you make an internal decision that you have “loved enough” unrequitedly, and that it is time to reach a new level of relationships with the opposite sex, where mutual love will become a reality, and not a dream.

Options

A girl may experience unrequited feelings for a guy who abandoned her, for a young man with whom she has not yet had a relationship, as well as for a public figure with whom there is no chance of even meeting in the real world.

1. To a celebrity, be it a singer, actor or magazine cover model. These feelings are mythical, and love exists only in the fantasies of a young person. As a rule, feelings pass when a worthy gentleman appears in real life.
2. To an ex-boyfriend with whom the affair has already ended. The young man realized that he did not have serious feelings for his partner, perhaps he was simply using her. And the girl’s heart breaks with pain, she suffers, because she loves him very much. Some young ladies in such a situation withdraw into themselves, close themselves off from everyone, and sometimes decide to commit suicide. Smart girls do everything to prove to their ex that he has lost the princess, they do everything to make the guy regret breaking up with such a beauty.
3. To a young man who doesn’t even know about her feelings. Some girls decide to immediately go all-in, approach the guy they like and directly declare their feelings. And it’s good if the guys knew each other before this moment. In a situation where the young man does not even know about the existence of this girl, after her confession he will be confused and certainly will not reciprocate. The best thing to do in such a situation is to simply get closer to the young man and do everything so that he notices you. Who knows, maybe the guy will have reciprocal feelings and he will take the first step.

Unrequited love in adolescence

“In love, someone always kisses, and someone only turns their cheek” French proverb Almost every person has once fallen in love without an answer

It doesn’t matter at what age it happened - it’s always very exciting, but at the same time, a little sad. Falling in love is a wonderful feeling, it inspires a person, makes him do unthinkable things, pushes him to self-improvement.

This is a positive side, but there is also a negative side. If the feeling is unrequited, it hurts. A person has to face the collapse of hopes, be disappointed, experience self-doubt, try to do everything to forget unrequited love. Everyone reacts differently to this.

It is known that when falling in love, certain hormones are released into a person’s blood, which give reactions that cause strong feelings. When this happens for the first time, a person feels everything especially acutely. This can be compared to a viral disease. The disease is difficult to tolerate only the first time, then immunity is developed, which makes it much easier to transfer the same virus.

This is roughly what happens with falling in love. The teenager experiences an indescribable range of feelings in this situation. Of course, it seems to him that this is forever, that they will certainly become a family and will always be together. Time passes, a series of events occur, and the teenager in love realizes that his feelings are not mutual. Everyone behaves differently here. 1. Some try to make friends with their loved one, maintain his good attitude and be content with little. Unrequited love can accompany a person throughout his life. 2. The second - go ahead, achieve reciprocity at all costs, without worrying about how to get rid of unrequited love. 3. Still others withdraw into themselves, become isolated, lose interest in life, constantly asking why there are unrequited feelings. To put it figuratively, the former continue to burn evenly, trying to preserve the hearth, while the latter flare up and burn everything in their path. Still others go out, and this is the most dangerous option, from a psychological point of view. Teenage depression often leaves its mark on the psyche. Your whole life will then pass in a state of passive depression. But the main danger here is suicide attempts. This happens quite often, especially nowadays.

As for the first and second scenarios, the best, of course, will be the first option. A person who realized that his feelings were not mutual, but decided to continue friendly communication with his lover, wins in all respects. He always has hope for something more, which means he does not give up feelings, he simply makes a decision: to wait. The second scenario will ultimately be a disappointment, because you won’t be nice by force.

A teenager, faced with an unrequited feeling, will experience a feeling of mental pain. His friends, loved ones and family should support him by talking to him about this, studying the question of how to stop suffering from unrequited love. The main thing to remember is that all feelings end sooner or later - this is human physiology, those chemicals that provoke falling in love cannot be released throughout your life

It is important to understand and remember this

Develop an action plan

Anthropologist Helen Fisher and neuroscientist Lucy L. Brown have been studying love for years. And they even compiled a list of rules - how to behave if unrequited love happens to you. Among other things, they advise filling the day with things to do so that there is no time to stare into space, not call or write to your loved one, not look for a meeting with him, and put away things that remind him of him. “Alcoholics who quit drinking do not leave a bottle of vodka on the table,” the scientists write. They also suggest focusing on what's going right in your life and doing other positive things.

Of course, at some point there will be an irresistible desire to do something forbidden. “And if you really want to, but you can’t, then you can.” Charles Duhigg, in his book The Power of Habit, describes how Starbucks employees learned to respond to aggressive customer behavior. To do this, there was a simple algorithm of actions that had to be followed. This approach helped make the episode less traumatic for the Starbucks employee himself, since he was prepared for such a situation. The same scheme can be applied in the case when you want, for example, to call a loved one: draw up an action plan in advance, and then at a critical moment you will not be discouraged - a well-thought-out scheme will not allow you to do something that should not be done. By the way, if you usually want to call or write to your ex while intoxicated, you can download the Drunk Mode application (App Store, Google Play), which will protect you from such an act. By the way, drinking unrequited love is not very useful: alcohol increases the risk of developing depression.

Unrequited love is an excellent reason to look at your life in a new way and, perhaps, redirect it in a more constructive direction. The consolation, of course, is so-so: you don’t want to change anything, but you want to be with your loved one here and now. You can reassure yourself that the condition will improve over time: unrequited love will finally go away, according to Lucy L. Brown, in six months or, in the worst case, in a couple of years.

What signs should alert an unrequited lover and his loved ones?

• Understanding the hopelessness of the current situation leads to prolonged depression and persistent emotional decline: a person forgets or does not want to eat, feels unwilling to do usual things, and “withdraws into himself” for a long time.
• Obsession with the object of one's passion and obsessive thoughts cause the nervous system to constantly tense up, which can negatively affect the general condition of the body. Weakness, irritability, headache, and decreased immunity may appear.
• Manifestation of aggression, immunity to criticism. Sometimes hostility is directed at oneself, which is very dangerous, as it can lead to personality destruction and even suicide attempts. In this case, you need to contact a psychiatrist.

If everything is not so bad, and things have not gone to extremes, you can try to cope with the negative aspects on your own. Professional psychologists give some useful advice that you should listen to if unrequited love is causing you suffering and pain.

How to overcome suffering due to unrequited love

• For a moment, just “go with the flow”, let go of the situation, giving yourself time and the opportunity to understand and experience everything that is happening.
• Think that the subject of your feelings and experiences is absolutely not to blame for the current situation; no one asked his consent. And your hero is simply not able to reciprocate love for certain reasons, for example, the beloved is bound by any obligations, or at the moment starting a relationship is not part of his plans at all.
• Learn to see the positive sides in everything: character and fortitude are developed in such trials. And there is no need to consider your loved one as a hunting trophy, which simply must be obtained no matter what, you should respect the individual’s right to his own choice.
• Systematize your life: find an activity that interests you and evokes positive emotions - go in for sports, make more contact with friends. It might be worth trying to meet a new person. But don’t rush headlong into new acquaintances, thinking that this will help you quickly forget your unrequited love. This is wrong.

Unrequited love is nothing more than an illusion, a mirage. You fall in love not with an earthly person, but with a certain image, an inaccessible ideal, invented by your imagination and “convenient” for suffering. Love always involves two people, and if the object of your desire does not want to enter into a relationship, then this is not your soul mate and the love relationship you are dreaming about will happen with someone else, they are ahead. To overcome suffering and get rid of unrequited love, you need carefully analyze your feelings and find out why you are attracted to this particular person, and what objective reasons prevent you from being together.

Imagine two options for developing your future with the subject of your passion. The prospect of living your whole life with a person who doesn’t love you can hardly bring delight, can it? Once you understand this, it will become easier. The pain will go away gradually, giving way to pleasant memories that do not bring suffering, perhaps with a tinge of light sadness. Only by feeling like a free, fulfilled person can you enjoy life, making those around you happy. There will be no more torment of unrequited love and there will definitely be the one who wants to be next to you!

Video on the topic of unrequited love. Psychologist Natalya Tolstaya will tell you what to do for someone who loves and cannot pull themselves together.

“Not to be loved is only failure.
Misfortune is not to love! Albert Camus
Some people consider love to be their life's work. Others treat it coolly, believing that it is a “fad” that does not lead to anything good. What is unrequited love? It has always existed and was the “engine” for the creation of new immortal works of art, and sometimes it even became the cause of real crimes. This is what we would like to talk to you about today, to consider how to experience unrequited love.

When to ask for help

The decision to get help should be driven by a subjective feeling that you are uncomfortable, this discomfort has been going on for some time (days, weeks, months) and you have already tried to change something in your condition, but there has been no significant improvement. You still worry a lot, constantly scrolling through negative thoughts in your head, and over time you notice that your condition is getting worse (sleep, appetite have been disturbed, most of the time you feel apathy, you began to communicate less with others, you don’t want to do anything, your life has become less more interesting than before).

Your thoughts about your condition are already a reason to consult a psychologist. Help is not weakness, it is self-care.

It is possible that one or two consultations are enough to understand and normalize the condition. Or you will realize that more meetings will be required. The main thing is that you will have more information about what is happening to you now and why the condition is not improving.

Self-harming and self-destructive behavior are also “points of attention” and topics for discussion. The use of substances that alter the state of consciousness, behavior that harms the body (workaholism and inattention to the state of one’s health also include this), thoughts of suicide - all these are signals for contacting a specialist.

Anyone who is worried about their loved one suffering from unrequited love can also seek help. Sometimes this type of counseling can be helpful to sort through your feelings about the situation or think about a plan to help. Of course, this will be a plan of your actions in relation to your loved one, and not all points may work in it, but you will have a clear understanding of what and why you are doing for him.

Why does unrequited love happen?

Psychological analysis of this phenomenon helps to identify its origins. The reasons for unrequited love can be the following:

1. Low personal self-esteem. It prevents you from showing the real essence of a person.
2. Selfishness. A person focuses on personal emotional pain, turning a blind eye to the needs of the soul of another.
3. Psychological attitude of the victim. In such a state, suffering subconsciously brings satisfaction.
4. Lack of skills in dealing with the opposite sex. Pushkin described it this way: “but I, loving, was deaf and dumb.”
5. Lack of common interests. This is one of the manifestations of selfishness. It's always interesting to be with your loved one.
6. Mismatch of goals in life, life principles. Unrequited love will become mutual if the one who loves is able to change his life paradigm in favor of the loved one.

Signs of unrequited love

Assessing an unrequited love feeling, experts note that the principle of relativity fully applies to this characteristic. Non-reciprocal love today can be reciprocated tomorrow. Its signs can also be considered relative:

• the partner is burdened by society or is indifferent to the presence of the lover;
• he has no desire to introduce him to his friends and relatives;
• the status of the relationship is in “suspense”;
• friendly relations are emphasized by all means;
• he himself does not strive for and avoids closer contact between the sexes;
• When communicating, he maintains neutral behavior without displays of tenderness or affection.

Reasons for unrequited love

Before you begin to study the steps to get rid of non-reciprocal love, you need to have a good understanding of what kind of feeling this is and what are the reasons for its occurrence in you. Despite the fact that this problem happens to almost everyone, each specific case has its own characteristics.

If this is school love, which turned out to be non-reciprocal and went away after a month or two, this is absolutely normal. There is nothing to do here. We can only congratulate you - you know how to cope with such situations!

But what about those who are literally stuck in feelings and cannot get out of them for months, or even years? What if you don't fall in love with each other all the time? And each time the situation becomes more and more complicated, and the problem does not go away, only the objects of love change? Here it’s worth thinking about whether this is love at all and why this is happening to you.

Answer the question “Who am I?”

Researchers believe that the first step is to decide who you are without your loved one. That is, earlier, among other things, to the question “Who am I?” it was possible to answer precisely from the position of being in a relationship: “I am Igor’s girlfriend,” “I am Katya’s husband.” Even with unrequited love, when there is no relationship with the object of affection, this feeling can also become part of the personality: “I am a designer, I play the violin and I love Grisha,” and if I don’t love Grisha, then I am no longer me. However, it is important to decide as quickly as possible who you are when there is no loved one in your life and feelings for him are forbidden. The primary task is not to get carried away with self-examination and self-flagellation. “I wonder why we do this (scold ourselves) when our self-esteem is already hurt? says psychologist Guy Winch. “Why do we want to hurt her even more?” After all, we wouldn’t deliberately make a physical wound even deeper. If you cut your hand, you wouldn't think, "Oh, an idea: I'll take a knife and see how much deeper I can make this wound."

To bring yourself into a normal psychological state, you can talk out loud to yourself, write down your thoughts, or go to a psychotherapist.

What to do if you love without reciprocation?

Suffering from unrequited feelings brings mental pain, which is sometimes harder to bear than physical pain. Don’t get discouraged, lie down on your bed and think about your unfortunate lot while looking at the ceiling. Only you yourself can help yourself get out of this situation and reduce the negative impact of pathological feelings on the body. How to overcome destructive non-reciprocal love in yourself:

Don't deny your feelings. The more you try not to think about them, the more violently thoughts about non-reciprocity in love will creep into your head. Of course, you don't need constant suffering at all. Therefore, give yourself only half an hour a day to think about the current situation, and the rest of the time, try to throw negative thoughts and images out of your head. You need to get through the situation, but with minimal losses.

Continue with your daily life. Don't give yourself any slack or time to suffer. Physical activity can help you cope with the pain of unreciprocated love

Take care of household chores, for example, do some spring cleaning, help your family and friends with some important matter. You can overcome your addiction if you continue to live despite the mental anguish.

Sooner or later you will come to terms with your fate, then you will see some positive aspects and finally free yourself from the shackles of unrequited love.

If the feelings persist, consult a psychotherapist. Not everyone can independently cope with moral torment due to unrequited love. If you continue to suffer despite your best efforts, and the future seems only bleak, do not sit idly by, but make an appointment with a psychotherapist. A specialist will help you find the roots of your problem, sort through what is happening and look at the situation from an outside perspective.

Don't let yourself break, educate yourself. There are still many difficult trials ahead in life, much more difficult than non-reciprocal love. Rest as much as possible and distract yourself from sad thoughts as much as possible, please and pamper yourself, look for the positive around you.

Workout

Unhappy love is a known risk factor for the development of true depression. In addition, at first, some symptoms of such a disorder are obvious. Therefore, with unrequited love, as with depression, it is worth playing sports: exercise lifts your spirits and distracts you.

If, against the background of a depressed state, you have thoughts of suicide, be sure to contact a psychotherapist with a medical diploma (if necessary, he will be able to prescribe medications for you) or in a critical situation, call the hotline.

How to forget an unrequited loved one

An unrequited feeling causes a feeling of hopelessness, turning life into a series of dreary and joyless days. What can be done to make the obsession go away and life to sparkle with bright colors again?

Minimize contact

There is no need to change your place of work or residence; it is enough to ensure that your meetings are as rare as possible, without close contact. Remove the man from your social network contacts and erase his phone number.

Take a break

If you are overtaken by unrequited love, what to do with it? Force your mind to switch to other thoughts. Find an interesting activity that will completely absorb you and leave no time to think about the object of your affection.

Lead an active life

Start going to a club, attend concerts, appear in crowded places more often. Perhaps very soon you will meet a gentleman worthy of your love, who will be able to reciprocate the reverent feeling.

Don't blame yourself

The fact that a man is not inflamed with passion is absolutely not your fault. This is just not your person. Think about the fact that he couldn’t make you happy, the constant struggle for his feelings would quickly get boring, and you would start thinking about a painless separation. Shake yourself up, let go of the obsession and get ready to meet true love.

Don't accumulate negativity

Many ladies ask: “I suffer from unrequited love, how can I get rid of my worries?” Experts recommend not accumulating negative emotions caused by an unpleasant situation, but finding a place to throw them out. Sport has a positive impact. Do fitness, join a gym, run in the fresh air. Sports exercises release huge amounts of endorphin, the hormone of happiness. After classes, your mood will improve and bad thoughts will disappear.

The problem of unrequited love will never lose its relevance, because the heart cannot tell who to love and who not. Every woman finds herself in a similar situation at least once in her life. To get out of the bonds of unrequited love, you need to gather all your inner strength and act without delay.

You may be interested in: How to forget a loved one: advice from a psychologist Manipulator man in a relationship: how to recognize an inferiority complex in a man

How long does one-sided feeling last?

The danger lies in the fact that the feeling of unrequited love can last a lifetime, poisoning your mood and preventing you from enjoying building healthy relationships. Neural connections in the human brain are formed gradually, this allows you to create habits. By forcing himself to wake up at 5 am for 30 days in a row, a person on 31 will jump out of bed at the specified time without an alarm clock.

Being under the influence of hormones, a lover constantly thinks about the subject of romanticization, checks the pages of social networks, trying to see a secret message behind every post and status, monitors the appearance of new photographs, and arranges “random” meetings. Gradually the level of chemical reactions returns to normal, and one could close the book, but a habit of action has appeared.

The “availability” of the object affects the duration: it takes less time to suffer unrequited love for the person from the poster than for the handsome brunette from the next department, with whom you have to constantly cross paths. Each new meeting, fueled by imagination, gives hope for a happy ending to the story and creates the basis for fantasies.

Having the firm belief that a siege will not achieve what you want and that the union has no real prospects for development, you should minimize the number of contacts, prohibit yourself from monitoring pages, asking mutual friends, and try not to appear in the places of the most likely meetings unless there is a real need.

Be sure to read:

How to ignite your passion? 10 ways to enhance sexual activity

It is useful, when thoughts about a person arise, to switch to work that requires mental stress or to do something difficult and unpleasant, for example, doing 10 push-ups. This technique will help break neural chains and remove the habit.

"Hero of our time"

1. Does love always make a person happy
   ? In the novel by M.Yu. Lermontov “Hero of Our Time” Grigory Pechorin is a person disappointed in life, often bringing pain and disappointment to others. Pechorin is tired of everything, he doesn’t see the meaning in anything, and treats life like a memorized book - everyone knows what will happen in the end. And sometimes it seems that he is bringing this finale closer. Pechorin has success with women, but it also brings him only short-term pleasure. Most often, at the end of any relationship, Gregory experiences disappointment and brings pain to others. But Pechorin is by no means a villain; one can only sympathize with him, like Onegin. After all, the pain that he causes to others hurts him too: it is the awareness that he has made someone unhappy that makes Pechorin believe in the depravity of his own nature. And if you consider yourself evil, then doing evil is natural for you. When you cause pain repeatedly, you stop being surprised by it, it becomes a normal state for you.
2. Unrequited love
   . One of the girls described in the novel “A Hero of Our Time” was Bela. Seeing her, Pechorin wanted to gain the affection of the beautiful Circassian woman. Bela, an unapproachable, unusually beautiful girl, did not react to Pechorin’s gifts for a long time and ignored all his attempts to establish contact. She was brought up according to completely different laws, in a different culture, and this also captivated Gregory. He even learned the Tatar language in order to communicate with her. Gradually Bela fell in love with Pechorin. She fell in love exactly as much as she was unapproachable. She became very attached to Gregory. Their happiness lasted only four months. After this, Pechorin got tired of such affection. And he no longer needed Bela. It was hard to look at the girl wounded and crushed by love, and Maxim Maksimych felt very sorry for her. The heroine was painfully worried about her uselessness and, it seems, was even glad of death as a deliverance.

Unrequited love - how to live with it

Of course, it’s easy to say - forget about love and get carried away by another. But in life everything is not so simple. They say correctly: “You can’t order your heart!” If it were possible to cope with strong feelings at will, then there would not be a single sad love story in the world. And so, every now and then we are faced with grief and problems caused by unrequited love.

What to do? To live on! The saying “Time heals” applies specifically to the issue we are studying. Dear older readers, let's remember how we suffered, cried and suffered because someone did not respond to our pure and strong feelings. And now we think - “What a fool I was!”, or “What a fool I was!”

Yes, from the height of adulthood it is easier to look back and look at the past with a smile and irony. It is much worse for those who are captive of unrequited feelings. It seems that life has lost its meaning and there is no longer any need to continue to exist on this Earth. Stop, don't even think about it! Believe me, just a couple of weeks will pass and you will be able to look at the world with different eyes. The main thing is to control yourself and listen to the recommendations described above. And time will do its job - you will gradually begin to forget about your suffering. And most likely, you will meet and get to know someone who will share your feelings and make you a happy person.

Determine your attitude and motivation

Before you cry over unrequited love, you should figure out what kind of relationship you are in with the person. Accordingly, then it is easier to make a decision - to forget or to love yourself further.

If you have been directly informed that you are not loved and you and the person are not married or cohabiting, there is nothing serious between you, then you should think about yourself and stop communicating with this person. Erase him from your life and never remind him of yourself. Time will pass and everything will be forgotten by itself.

If, for example, you are in a marriage and have fallen out of love, then the situation is complicated by living together and its division, the presence of children and the memory of so many years of happy life together. Often couples decide to continue living together, understanding and accepting the fact of lack of love, but saving the family is more important to them than unrequited feelings.

In any case, there is always a choice. Either way it will hurt. But! If you are a confident and sensible person, then you must understand that once you have been tormented and experienced a breakup, you have a chance to meet another person and love each other.

By staying with someone you don't love or deliberately not entering into relationships with other people, hoping that someday they will love you, you lose the chance to build your life and be happy. You choose eternal pain.

What are the dangers of unrequited feelings?

At the same time, many people do not find the strength to give up their own suffering. At first, they simply experience their emotions, and then they get used to the role of the victim and already get their own special “high” from such destructive feelings. Those with weak personalities completely focus their lives on an unattainable chosen one, turning every minute of it into moments of memories or making unrealistic plans for a joint idyll and suffering from unrequited love. Many of these completely forget about their own interests, they may begin to look for ways to forget love in alcohol or drugs They rarely appear in companies, and if they do, they stay there only on condition that they are listened to and empathized with. Any attempts to open their eyes and reach their minds end in quarrels and alienation. Next comes depression, from which it is even more difficult to get out of it on your own. There are also frequent cases of suicide due to unrequited love, especially in adolescence and young adulthood.

Simple truths of unhappy love

1. It is impossible to force someone to love you, even if you try very hard; excessive care and the desire to win someone over will be perceived as intrusiveness.
2. If the relationship does not work out, it means that people are not suitable for each other, are incompatible in character and have different life values.
3. You should not think that someone can control the feelings of other people and can influence the attitude of other people towards him.
4. Denial and the desire to see everything through rose-colored glasses are a side effect of any unrequited love.
5. Instead of mourning the one who refused reciprocity, it is better to start fighting for those who may well turn out to be truly soul mates.
6. You shouldn’t think that if your lover loves slender blondes, a diet and a visit to the hairdresser will fix everything, they don’t love you for their attractive appearance, this is just an important and pleasant bonus, and adjusting yourself to someone else’s preferences is a thankless job.

Unrequited love - essay

Love is the most beautiful feeling that can arise in a person’s soul. However, unfortunately, sometimes one person can have strong feelings towards another, but do not receive reciprocation. It is in this case that they say that love is “unrequited”

It seems to me that love is a very complex and contradictory feeling that can bring not only happiness, but also suffering. Unrequited love forces a person to suffer and suffer, does not allow him to openly express his feelings and even hope for reciprocity. Many writers and poets have written about the tragedy of unrequited love.

Thus, in the work of the famous Russian writer A.I. Kuprin, the theme of love occupied a key place, therefore in most of his stories the writer touchingly talks about real deep feelings and strong emotions.

In the story “The Garnet Bracelet” the main characters are the “cold” and sensible Princess Vera and the ardent Zheltkov, who knows how to devotedly love. He is the embodiment of a man who is ready to sacrifice himself and devote his life to the hope of reciprocity from the woman he loves.

Zheltkov, having completely surrendered to the feeling of love for Vera and having lost the meaning of his future life, decides to commit suicide. Using the example of his tragic fate, we see that a strong feeling turned out to be stronger than common sense and the desire to live, which is the whole tragedy of unrequited love.

A.I. Kuprin brings us to the conclusion that unrequited love is dangerous, it makes a person suffer and can even lead to terrible, tragic consequences.

In addition, the famous Russian poet A.S. Pushkin also wrote about the bitterness of unrequited love. Let us turn to his poem “I loved you...” The lyrical hero of this work is in love “sincerely, so tenderly,” but his strong feelings do not find an answer. He is tormented by mental anguish, but does not want to “disturb” his beloved.

The hero gives his beloved girl freedom, makes a real self-sacrifice. A. S. Pushkin proves to readers that unrequited love is associated with sadness and sadness, but a person will never intentionally cause pain to the object of his love and will try to maintain self-esteem even in such a difficult life situation.

Thus, love is the most valuable reward, because it fills a person with warmth and gives meaning to life.

However, unfortunately, love is not always happy and carefree, so it is so important not to miss true love, which brings happiness, and to carefully preserve this wonderful feeling

Unrequited love must be bravely experienced, internal pain, sadness and grief must be overcome.

Causes of love addiction

If you cannot stop loving unrequitedly for a long time, most likely you are faced with love addiction. By the way, in works of art love and passion, love and love addiction are often confused. They all have one thing in common - a strong feeling. Many of us, based on books, films and songs, mistake addiction for love, and love suffering is considered an indispensable attribute of love.

A blatant example of unrequited love addiction was described by Stefan Zweig in his short story “The Stranger.” The heroine is completely hopeless, all her life, from the age of 13, in love with a rake who does not remember her at all. She behaves like a typical victim and devotes her entire life to unrequited feelings. She refuses marriage proposals, lives in poverty, becomes a kept woman, and eventually dies of illness. This is an example of what can happen to a person who does not know how, and, most importantly, does not want to manage his feelings, which act in a destructive way.

How to deal with unrequited love?

The guy we're in love with loves another girl or doesn't love anyone at all. The situation is quite banal. And not only young ladies with ordinary appearance fell into it, but also beautiful women, at the sight of which many men lose their heads. Well, the one for whom the heart yearns doesn’t love us, and that’s all! But, as you know, you can’t order your heart. It aches, groans, hurts, and thoughts persistently revolve around the image of a loved one, whom it is impossible to forget.

Almost all women experienced such a period of life, and, unfortunately, not every one of them was able to pass it with dignity, with minimal losses for themselves. After all, we usually don’t know how to cope with unrequited love, and, being in complete confusion, we either do stupid things or withdraw into ourselves, provoking the appearance of long-term deep depression.

What to do if love is unrequited? How to stop loving a guy if all your thoughts are only about him? I must say that this will require a lot of effort. However, it is necessary to apply them, otherwise unrequited love can seriously affect the psyche and leave a wound in the soul that will not heal for many years. No, perhaps someone likes to suffer and tell sad stories about unrequited love over the years. But most girls still strive for happiness, and it is unthinkable without mutual love. Therefore, we must try with all our might to get rid of a feeling that brings nothing but suffering. Here are some tips to help you do this.

Signs of liberation from unrequited love

1. You began to be repulsed by the person’s shortcomings (even though you had previously noticed them but accepted them).
2. The desire to constantly look at a person and be near him has disappeared. Perhaps sometimes you don’t even notice his presence anymore.
3. There is no interest in the person, his words, actions and everything connected with his life.
4. You can calmly watch or imagine a person with someone else without experiencing burning jealousy and pain.
5. You no longer think about the person immediately after waking up and right before going to bed.
6. He comes to you less and less in dreams, and if he does, they do not evoke any special emotions.

The more of these signs you notice in yourself, the closer you are to healing from unrequited love.

Behave with restraint on social networks

Even simple logic, not to mention research, suggests: if you constantly check the pages of your lover on social networks, then recovery from a breakup will take longer. Of course, the ideal option is to block the page or use a special browser extension to block access to it. If this is not possible, then there is no need to start a competition “who is happier after a breakup.” Photos and posts whose sole purpose is to say “I feel so good without you” will definitely not fulfill their function. It will not be possible to win this war on social networks: science has already explained this fact.

Does unrequited love have a chance?

All people, without exception, are susceptible to unrequited love; age or gender do not play any role, but character and temperament play a key role. Sometimes it happens that, experiencing his love, a person crosses a certain emotional barrier, breaks down and goes to confess his love.

Recognition in itself is already a significant stress for a person in love, and if it turns out that his feelings are mutual, then he may experience a shock, because he did not even think that he had a chance for this relationship.

Often in such situations it turns out that unrequited love was simply far-fetched, the person in love simply loved the very feeling of unrequitedness, it provided him with the much-needed intensity of emotions.

It is generally accepted that unrequited love lasts less than a year and gradually fades due to various circumstances. For example, the object of passion found out about the interest in his person and harshly rejected the lover or changed his place of residence. In rare cases, unrequited love can last more than one year, but this rather indicates a person’s unpreparedness to build a relationship than the strength of love.

How to help a teenager? Advice from a psychologist for parents

1. Be as tactful as possible when talking to your child about his feelings. Otherwise, the teenager will withdraw and will no longer share his experiences with you.

2. Don’t give advice that is suitable for adults (change your hairstyle, start doing fitness, etc.) Better try to explain that his feelings remained unrequited not because he is bad (not handsome enough, smart enough, etc.) It’s just that people’s feelings do not always coincide, because we are all different and this is absolutely normal.

3. Try sharing memories of your first love. Tell us that once you, too, did not understand how to survive unrequited love. Be candid when talking about your experience and the lessons you learned from it.

4. If you understand that your personal experience is not interesting to your son or daughter, then switch to stories about the fate of the “stars” in whom he is interested.

5. If you feel that your teenager has almost overcome his inner loneliness, try to get him interested in some new activity, sport, or creativity. You can go on a trip together.

If parents see that they cannot help their child on their own and he is immersed deeper and deeper into experiences, then it is better to turn to a professional psychologist and together with him look for ways out of the current situation.

In general, teenage love is a very broad topic and requires separate study. In this article, we have given only general brief recommendations. Further information presented in the article highlights the problems and relationships of adults.